lmfao

Explicitly obvious non-duality themes in it. I could tell you how but it would give the game away. It's literally asking the question of, is duality worth it. Whilst ideally I wouldn't even say that last sentence to taint your impression of the show, I have to say/reveal something to get you interested. Of course this won't all come together until you watch all of it , and the show takes an outlandish but great turn at the end. Since I'm not giving spoilers, this thread/topic will seem pointless but I'm dead serious. The metaphor present in the show for the themes I'm alluding to isn't indirect, it's extremely direct. Watch the anime TV series, then the "The End of Evangelion" film. That's my TLDR message to anyone who wants to get into the series but is confused by the multitude of movies with it. If you do watch it, watch the show with a blank mind, without my beliefs.

@Rasheed The idea that wikipedia is untrustworthy is just an old meme that is becoming less and less popular thankfully. Over a decade ago I would hear people complain about Wikipedia. Not so much now.

@Esoteric LOL. This song has to be satire or something. @Leo Gura There are some good metal songs leo. For a particular genre, you can usually find a few good artists and few good songs you can appreciate of theirs. Even the genres of music I do like, I don't like 99% of the artists and songs. But when something is genius it's just genius.

Hey come on now that's an insult, brunettes ≥ blondes.

@ewerson18 will do

I have a few things I'm keeping ongoing for now. I'll see how it all unfolds, plan my life purpose when I can. Trynna get a proper work out and yoga routine. Sketching. I'm reading a lot more fiction now. I probs wanna finish the multiple self help books I never completed over this summer as well. Gonna keep learning driving as well to get my licence when I can. I'm reading a high school book on grammar for myself since I want to learn good writing. Looking at the rules of language I take for granted should increase my existential insight and ability to contemplate. Contemplation and inquiry is right up my alley, one of the few good abilities I have. When I'm in my zone, all the images and impressions just flow. In regards to authors and experts who invoke the most intelligent elements of me: Carl Jung, Peter Ralston and Jiddu Krishnamurti. These fellas are just amazing and I feel like they have whatever capacities I have but magnified by a 100 trillion. Albeit Carl Jung and Ralston are so different, I resonate so deeply with both. I get the feeling I need to fulfil and keep up the momentum of my current/past trajectory of being into math and physics very heavily. I'll get back into it hopefully, see if I can invoke new deities to engage me. I'm coming for you, Baby Rudin. Neither are you, Lagrange. In this world of wage slavery, and considering my current degree, it's probably I might be forced into this math/physics sector unfortunately. I'll probs pick up coding as well. ------ In this wage slavery world, I'm just trynna build myself up as much as possible right now. Sometimes the only solution to a dilemma is play. So I'm just gonna do that, but do it seriously inshallah

The way Leo described the singularity and the fragments of god in his latest video basically explicitly mirrors the literal plot of Evangelion by the end of it.

I haven't read The 48 Laws of Power, but I've skimmed some of the material on it online. A question which has come to my mind is "How do I reconcile this knowledge/wisdom with selflessness? And reconcile it with radical honesty as well?". I don't know enough to say that radical honesty is a not a different thing from selflessness. It very well could be a different thing in certain contexts, partially elucidated by this theory perhaps. I have two threads of thought I want to mention. Second thread feeling less grounded and more abstract to me. I'll use "------" before I type it. One idea. Perhaps the reconciliation comes in treating material such as The 48 Laws of Power as a manual for how egos and humans play games for social and political dominance. You can use the knowledge from it to understand how people more calculating and selfish than you operate. So what I mean. Your mode of being can be very uncalculating, very non-machiavellian and straightforward, but knowledge/understanding of this sort helps you know the motivations and principles behind how others around you behave. And thus your ability to skilfully dodge and maneuver around devil's who wish to hamper you is increased. This segways into a second point. --------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe there is a place for being machiavellian and breaking radical honesty principles. And still being selfless and embodying love. One thing which got me to think this. I remember Leo once talking about stage red. And that sometimes stage green trying to help stage red will be exploited and be ineffective at helping. The implication being that if you wish to elevate these stage red folk, it would be better that some semi-authoritarian blue government rules over them. Simply because Blue will be effective at elevating them but Green won't, even if green people are generally higher consciousness than blue people. So maybe this whole Machiavellian thing can be seen as a tool for getting the change you want. But it seems so messy and such a slippery slope. It feels self defeating and contradictory to my sense of authenticity/virtue to be calculating and scheming to overcome a world which is calculating and scheming. Especially if it means acting lower consciousness. It would be a tricky thing to navigate if it is possible to so. How would you know you're being selfish vs just doing what is needed to fight selfishness? And what does it mean to do what is needed to fight selfishness? It seems like you're doomed to become a hypocrite and be selfish yourself under the guise of virtue. Even if intellectually it all seems a bit mad, it's whatever. I'll just go about life and act appropriately in the moment however I can. Respond to a thing as it arises, in whatever manner the tides guide me.

I've started reading "Zen Body-Being" by Peter Ralston and am taking body awareness seriously. The first exercise given in the book involves differentiating between the command/will to move and movement itself. It's deep and difficult stuff. My motivation for this is health based. I can feel my weak, nauseated, chronically fatigued body. I want to heal it. So I'm considering multiple angles. The tension in my muscles, diet, mental ailments, etc. If this healing is possible I have the gut feeling that it is a large journey and struggle with plenty of demons. I have poor posture in general. I've found some posture exercises on the internet to do. I'm just wondering if its possible to restructure the entire way I operate my body. Lots of research needed here. Maybe this is a yoga thing I need to do. In trying to address one problem you come across every other problem. Like a tangled up ball of yarn. Slowly unweaving it. Does anyone here feel like they've reconnected with their body to a very large degree of awareness? Did it lead to any sort of healing? Was there a cheat code for you or not really? I've never found such cheat codes, besides staying with a thing for as long as I can or for as long as needed.

Just thought this was an interesting share. My friend is ghetto af. Has been homeless and has been to jail before. But he's very intelligent and well-read with a large reservoir life experience. He's "Person A" here. It's a large paste. So just read until the next set of "____________________" if you want. In this initial part he talks about policing and jail. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Person A: The main problem is lack of fathers. I would introduce much more liberal systems for work release, so they can leave jail early. The people pulling the levers of who can leave jail should not just be judges, but also their employers and community. Additionally, I would provide huge tax breaks to companies that hire those people, to incentivize. I would also decrease the tax rate in areas with high crime to offset the emigration of people, to encourage business and job opportunities. Obviously decriminalizing drugs. And I think people should be reimbursed for time in jail for selling drugs. Which would positively target the black community. I don't think they should be handed money necessarily, but rather, the time you spent in jail gives you a tax deduction relative to years spent in jail. ----- Obviously, the whole racist BLM narrative is 99% bullshit. Obviously, the media is nothing more than a propaganda engine at this point. But here's where the real problems are: If a black person gets arrested... He doesn't have the education to really know his rights. The public defender lawyer piece of shit, has no respect for "Javon". The nig*** knows that once he enters the criminal justice system, he's donzo. So he has to fight. What choice does he have? -- The fact that he knows this, means that confrontations with police are going to escalate more than your average white person. Which means more aggression, thus more chance of shit going awry. Fundamentally, the problem that no one talks about is thus: Police officers don't have autonomy anymore. ---- Back in the day, if a police officer pulled you over, they could make a judgment call such as: "alright, I can tell this person fucked up, I'll give them some advice, they can move on" Nowadays it's different. They are obligated by law, to report their interactions. Thus, less autonomy. Thus, forcing minor mistakes to escalate into talking with a judge. The reality is, most criminals, when they encounter a cop or 2, will adjust, if the cop gives them leniency. -- We need to deescalate cop-encounters, and give cops more room to be generous to the people they interact with. Body cams, ironically, exacerbate this problem. So cops are not even allowed to "slip under the radar" and be generous to people. Or they'll be cited for not reporting a criminal interaction. -- Professional State prosecutors are judged on their prosecution rate. Public Defenders are not. Public Defenders are just doing that as a short stint in their career in law. ---- So prosecutors are highly incentivized to send people to jail. And public defenders are only incentivized to do the basic paper work and time, then move on to the next level in their career. --- So professional public defenders and prosecutors should be abolished. And replaced with random selection of lawyers, much like jurors are randomly selected. So people don't make careers out of sending people to jail. -- Also, crazy idea that no one might take seriously But Jails should be private BUUUUUUUUUUTTT Those found guilty should be able to choose their jail. This would initiate market forces. When a guilty person chooses their jail, the government pays that jail a stipend to pay for that person. So jails are now competing for prisoners, and their utility function is DECREASED recidivism rates, and more human environments. -- There should be no bottleneck in the system where we treat human beings like they're not human beings. Once you initiate that, a cascade of degeneracy takes place. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Alright, now a dialogue starts with "Person B". Talk about criminalisation of drugs. Why it matters from a legislative point of view it matters whether a criminal choice is "systematic" vs "individual". Conversation gets a bit more messy now, a bit more sifting now since there's a debate and clash of views going on. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Person B: Definitely don't agree people should be reimbursed for selling or that production and distribution of drugs should be decriminalized but prohibiting possession of small amounts and use is far from productive. Person A: Should we criminalize people for telling their friends how awesome a particular drug is? If we're going to be "moral", it's not sellers and buyers that are culpable. All they're doing is filling in vacancies in the market that already exist. The true assholes are the "advertisers"; those that turn normies into druggies. But how do you police that? You don't; not reasonable. Whatever moral issues one has with drugs, the criminalization/[war on drugs] has done nothing but make things worse. Person B: "It's not sellers and buyers that are culpable'' This is nonsense. Buyers are the ones creating the vacancies. Selling drugs is pretty fucking degenerate. Y'know, the ole selling someone a product hoping they ruin their lives over it so they sell their house and abandon their children so they can buy a few grams. And while I'm all for people making their own choices, and using drugs should be legal, I find it hard to consider legalizing the selling of outright poison to the general public. Of course, goes without saying not every drug is remotely like this. It's a case to case basis to some extent. Person A: A serial killer isn't thinking: "well, if I don't kill this person, someone else will" A drug seller is precisely thinking: "well, if I don't sell drugs to this nig someone else will" - They are fundamentally different things. You have to take into account the incentive structures of the environment. - I can, with great powers of autism, agree with: "it is, ultimately, buyers that create these vacancies". That is technically true in some collective sense, but realistically, it's not true from the vantage point of any individual. It's always important, from a policy or political perspective, not to get trapped in category errors of collective VS individual culpabilities. --- I don't know about legalizing drugs, that's a debate beyond my jurisdiction. But drugs should be decriminalized in most instances. By the fact that users are literally psychologically warped by drug impacts. And sellers are psychologically warped by economic forces. Person B: "If I don't do it, someone else will" does not justify doing things. Person A: From a vantage of policy and legislation, yes it does matter. The prohibition of alcohol in the united states is a good example of this. And we got rid of those laws, precisely because we understood that when you're dealing with incentive structures, you cannot rely on typical justifications of criminal justice. --- We want to punish individual choices as much as possible. Person B: Alcohol is an edge case though since the usage of it was a staple of western society. Person A: We want to eliminate systemic choices as much as possible. Whether or not it's an edge case isn't the point. The point is, once there's economic forces at play, you cannot treat people as individual actors. You must treat it as a system. Person B: I do agree that drug selling/drug use is, to an extent, the product of flaws in the system, by the way. Person A: You're a European nig*** so I'm sure you're aware of the massive success in Portugal's decriminalization of drugs right? Person B: They decriminalize use. Not production or distribution. Person A: That's true, but they did lessen the punishments. Person B: And while addressing the flaws responsible for the massive use/sale of drugs is obviously necessary, these flaws do not justify making the choice to sell poison to people who are addicted to poison. Person A: Do you realize You are basically, logically saying: "We will commit to jailing precisely X% of the population" X = the % of drug sellers needed to fulfill market demands. --- If you don't shift market demands You don't do a fucking thing -- By reducing the punishment for drug users, you give them more options to heal. Thus, reducing demand. Thus reducing sellers. Sellers will spawn. They always spawn. It's human nature You can't do shit about it. Person B: I never disagreed with decriminalizing drug possession or use. I explicitly agreed with that. Person A: Real talk niggah: If you could make 20k in the next 2 weeks selling drugs. (presuming all the hard work is done, you just need to press the button to make that choice) Can you honestly say you wouldn't do it? Knowing, the logical creature that you are. That they're going to get those drugs regardless of your decision? Person B: However, in your eyes, you are saying that it's the system making these choices for said person and that they can practically not be held accountable because the system is flawed. Just because a system is flawed doesn't mean people should strictly be rewarded for actively exploiting it - especially not at other people's expense. Person A: I'd do it. I'm a moral autist that would deliver a wallet full of 40k to their owner without question. And even I'd do it. Person B: I probably would. And I'd accept being held somewhat accountable for the effects of my choice. There's a reason fraud is illegal. Person A: I understand your point, but things have to be differentiated between "aberrant choice" and "systemic choice". - The former, you deal with forces directed to the person. The latter, you deal with forces directed to everything but the person. You want to strip the drug seller of their powers. You know, as a policy maker, that they are a mathematical inevitability. Person B: And while this policy being addressed should be a priority that doesn't mean the ones doing these things should get away with it. Person A: You can literally snipe drug sellers in the head with A.I drones. All you end up doing is increasing the cost of drugs, and increasing their stealth and defensive maneuvers. Person B: I don't know. It's hard to say exactly what would happen if you were to entirely decriminalize drug selling. Person A: Here's what you want, as a policy maker. You want a potential drug seller to think the following: "What's the point in selling drugs. I'm not going to make any money, and it's more work than just finding a job" That IS YOUR FUCKING GOAL Putting them in prison does nothing, except for initiate Darwinian forces that attract drug sellers that are better at avoiding the law. Drug sellers/$ per capita literally the same. -- If anything, by criminalizing drugs as such, you are forcing people to break the law when they otherwise wouldn't. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Alright, that's it. I was late to the convo and opened it at this point. I then asked Person A one question which prompted him to send a response ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Me: Breaking the law in other ways besides selling drugs as well? Person A: No. People aren't robbing stores at some constant rate. Unlike selling drugs. Selling of drugs is a constant rate. It's always the same. The only things that change is the cost of drugs. You know the irony? The higher the cost of drugs, the MORE CRIME, because people commit crimes to pay for the drugs. Literally does nothing. -- Here's the psychological point though Drugs are inherently irrational This means that drugs do not map onto economic forces properly. Addicts will merely pay more for the same drug. The same isn't true for say, a toaster, or a videogame. --- The majority of people who sell drugs don't commit other crimes. My pothead younger brother sells drugs, that fucker wouldn't harm a fly.

In regards to the point made about police officers having to report every interaction. How he thinks body cams makes cop-civilian encounters worse. It reminds me of the general point that the world is becoming ripe with documentation and paperwork. Very legalistic and rigid codes of conduct for things. Whilst you can obviously understand their function as a safety net and ultimate arbiter for settling disputes, one can feel saddened by the pathologies of it.

I don't know if kundalini has the same kind of existence of lets say, this table in front of me.

It feels like I've got a new default mode to adjust to now. Some kind of is-ness feels non-abiding. So bizarre, I'm in awe and sadness at the same time tbh. Maybe I'm in a sort of spiritual high, who knows. But it definitely feels like something substantive is here now. It's very different to ecstatic bliss you might get after meditating. It feels more real. Why is it that it always feels like the journey is only just beginning? I think part of me is dead now. But whatever isn't true could never be lost anyway.

Saturday 13th June 2020 01:35 am I'm constantly running away from that which my awareness can see clearly. So I run away from it constantly by distracting myself with the internet or technology, or with anxiety over trivial things. I am scared of no-self. That there is no certainty or ground to life. That there is no past, no future, it's all now. I can see this more and more clearly and it terrifies me. Part of me thinks I've bitten off more than I can chew. But to be honest, it's not really like I "chose" any of this, it just happened. I've been afraid to meditate for a while because I know I've seen and will see too much. The magnitude of sacrifice required for all this is starting to hit me. It is the surrender of everything. For a while now, I've felt emotionally blunted. My emotions are coming back now more, positive and negative. And old negative emotions I used to feel are surfacing up more. So in some sense I feel like I'm reverse ageing, with these deja vu's. I know that I'm in a dream, the only thing which can be done is to follow through with it all the way. There's no turning back after a certain point. I'm at that point. I'm freaked out, this is out of my control. Holy shit. I have no choice. Death is inevitable.

@JayG84 Neon Genesis Evangelion. It won't make sense why without giving spoilers for the unexpected directions the show takes you in. SPOILERS AHEAD IN POST The show is asking the question of, is non-duality better than duality. Would it all be better if everything and everyone collapsed into a singularity of understanding and completeness This little philosophy is quoted specifically in the show (with an amazing soundtrack) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog's_dilemma

Good luck chief.

The politics forum is green on steroids a lot of the time as well. And just general tribalism from any stage. If one were to point out the relative and illusory nature of politics there, you'd be met with a mechanical response of defensiveness. I have a feeling that people have tried to mimic Leo's mindset of not tolerating bullshit, but it doesn't really work. Spiral Dynamics is being uniformly and haphazardly applied to as many things as possible in discussions on the forum, not really a good thing either. It becomes another form of discrimination and hierarchy. It's especially present in politics and self-actualisation sub-forums. This is the problem when a model is too good. People lose faith or investment in their own faculties and defer responsibility of their opinions to an outside authority. I don't know about you guys, but I can say that for myself that my responses to people which involve lots of spiral dynamics talk are more mechanical and more mindless. I'm just regurgitating ungrounded memory.

I have a pride about not taking painkillers since I don't won't to be a wuss who anaesthetises their consciousness. I'm considering taking paracetamol before sleep since I have insomnia. So I'll try my best to pay attention to how that feels and works out. Since I'm also trying vaporub at the same time I'll need to co-ordinate the times I take them so I can have controlled variables and pay attention to how it feels. I live in an asian family full of medics, yet they all seem to treat paracetamol with a mystical reverence. So if anyone here has experience with painkillers in general, e.g. paracetamol or whatever, writing about it here would be appreciate. If your post resembles that of a log entry with detail acquired by mindful and sharp observation, all the better.

The line between surrender vs repression of "needs" is something we all have to figure out for ourselves. I think this highlights something involving thinking about the difference between the domain of the relative and the domain of the absolute. As in, it might be possible to be in a state of meditation 24/7 regardless of your external environment in the absolute sense, but practically speaking that is very difficult to achieve without first doing what you can to better your external environment to aid the process. This is an example where someone might use the domain of the absolute to say, there's no point in any formal practice like seated meditation in silence. But practically there's use. Here's another way of thinking about the above thing I mentioned of how important external environment is. Think about the mentality of a Christian praying to Jesus for something, or the mentality of law of attraction in general. For the law of attraction, you have to do everything in your own power to facilitate getting what you want. Only then does God answer your prayer. Whether what you want enlightenment or whatever. Different people have different degrees of power, and one facet of this power might be your ability to control the external environment to be conducive to spiritual growth. But what's important is that you're doing the best with whatever grace/power you have. It's the intention that you are fully committed and will do everything you can. If I have lots of power over my environment, as most of us do in the free world, and I don't use it for getting what I want then I don't want it badly enough. Suppose someone else has very little power but uses that power to the fullest they can. Even if I have a better environment than that person, our difference in attitudes and commitment is the only thing which will count in the end as to who will succeed. They will achieve it but I won't.

After exercising I'll often feel a bit dissociated from my surroundings and myself. I've been making a lot of good changes about myself and my lifestyle recently as well, so maybe the dissociative symptoms are ego backlash. Feeling as though my life is a bit like a dream or movie. I've made a lot of good changes to my routine and thought patterns at once maybe, and all the physical/mental/spiritual flux is messing me up, I don't know. Seeing too much at once maybe, don't know. This feels like some "dark side of spiritual work" or something, even if I haven't really been engaging in meditation or yoga or formal inquiry. But just from self actualisation changes to myself. I'm just making this thread to see if anyone here has experience with dissociation and dissociative symptoms after exercise, or just how exercise in general effects you if you have had dissociative tendencies before. Recently I've developed more of a mindset of "weathering the storm". So if I have a negative feeling which won't go away I'll just try to stay with it regardless of how long I have to. There's a weird "high" to the dissociative symptoms, so maybe it isn't so bad that I needed to make this thread. I'll have to stay with it more. I think that it's just my mind a bit foggy and drunken/disjointed in leaps when feeling like this. Which is to say, a lack of broader perspective of how this is fine. Crossed fingers this isn't an omen of schizophrenia to come. I spent so much time just observing my body today, acting on instinct, which I don't normally do. So I hope this is the shedding of some skin or something, time will tell.

@Michael569 Wow, thanks for the comprehensive reply, feels like I just got a functional doctor consultation for free. Yeah I think I'll leave taking paracetamol. I'll try those herbs and oils. I've used valerian root tablets in the past, I think I might have overdosed and overused them. I wanna say this was 3-4 months ago I had an awful habit of taking too many. I ran out of the tablets and left it cold turkey, I can't remember whether I had issues with that. @Arcangelo Nah bro I ain't about that life @IJB063 CBD oil seems woke @LastThursday Yeah I like that blue light blocking glasses idea. I have flux installed onto my computer but I need to use it more.

Whether it's a rebellion against being overfed meat when growing up or my preferences have changed I too am getting more put off from meat. Meat feels like eating inertia to me. No fibre in it either. Someone else would probably call it "acidic" or something. Compared to the "alkaline" feeling you get from eating a raw beet or raw green pepper. Meat, eating it sometimes feels gross. Unless it's tasty. Then I usually accept it but will regret it later, but only slightly.

You ever seen those fictional films that scare young kids into being cautious drivers? I was in school and shown this film where because this teenage girl was an irresponsible driver, she killed her best friends and everybody hated her. The end. I feel like police officers are shown similar training videos to become cautious but instead the whole police culture becomes fear and power based.

Yes, it's an amazing book. Even though Alan is a god-tier speaker he's still very good in writing it seems. Free pdf anyone can find online, I have the paperback though. It's a simple but extremely profound read. https://antilogicalism.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/wisdom-of-insecurity.pdf If you like Alan Watts, I hope you've also heard of Krishnamurti.

My mind has categorised two conventional ways to view atheism. You can look at what the definition is for it literally, or you can look at the school of thought and traditions around it. So either you can take atheism to be or choice number 2, you think about the intellectuals and public figures who've created an identity and ego around the label "atheist". The likes of Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens falling into this category. This whole shtick . I'm sure there's a vast tradition to atheism outside the the people I just mentioned which could better define what this category precisely represents, but that is all particular details that's irrelevant to this work. The most robust formulation of atheism: Atheism is just a negation of dogmatic religion. It is willingly entering the space of not knowing. ----- Advaita Vedanta as a tradition has some "theistic" tendencies you could say. But thinking about that in linear terms is irrelevant to the practices and waking up. ---- The main point however. Atheism or theism, the way the typical person phrases or thinks about this just misses the point of zen and these practices. If there is a resolution to these questions and the unsatisfied mind that generates them, you aren't gonna find it in some scholarly discussion about it.