lmfao
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Everything posted by lmfao
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I haven't gotten into it but there are green/yellow postmodern intellectuals, a lot of them dead. I've heard good things about Jacques Derrida. I have a book by Foucalt I've barely touched. --- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postmaterialism
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@Osaid Right, I need to be careful in what I ascribe as being my identity. The mind is full of many forces. Mind is host to a bunch of senators, and an evil one came out the dark. But I'm the president. @Artsu Yes. I've calmed down a little now. I'm getting a bit conscious of the fact that I'm mindlessly falling into the patterns of thought that the collective, which is ultimately retarded, has. Whatever conclusion I get about myself, I need to do it from principles and come up with a constructive way to work from it. I need to journal privately and rest.
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@Marten Yeah the book is genius. The author is really good at describing things vividly. I don't have to watch the film to know the book is way better.
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@K VIL How can I bitch about my family and friends without anonymity? Also dude, you're probably fine about this Conservative thing. You spend all your time talking in this forum which is clearly biased towards liberals and the left. If I was the sort of person to judge someone I knew in that way, I would consider that.
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@eggopm3 I think part of what it is is that you're a "lateral thinker". Reflecting on myself with this. Often times when I'm in a discussion with someone about something, I get excited and mention a lot of different things and "tangents" at once. And not many people will understand why I'm saying what I say. And I'd feel dejected/sad about that. Unweaving that feeling of dejection, I unexpectedly find a large number of things about myself I never looked at. I'm gonna guess different things that may or may not resonate. Would you say it's the case you feel a compulsive need to talk in certain domains of discussion? Like you're anxious for people to hear and understand your viewpoint? And this expresses itself in you accidentally interrupting others, or staying on a particular point after the conversation has moved on? Is part of your self image one where you are the source of clarity/reason? A few ideas come to mind for me: 1) Whenever you're typing a sentence, look back at your sentence and delete any unnecessary words. This is a practice I 2) See if there's any sort of emotional or psychological compulsions at play here which go beyond just the natural way you think. --- An anime youtuber now called "Digi-nee" made his own personality system called "neurotyping" which you might like. It has two dimensions. One is " lexical vs impressionistic" and the other is "linear vs lateral". From the sounds of it you're very lateral. (And unless extremely lexical, even lexical leaning people will struggle to be understood by most people if they are very lateral). I wouldn't be able to guess how lexical or impressionistic you are, other than saying you aren't at the extreme of being very lexical.
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lmfao replied to Yarco's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Leo Gura What teachers, dead or alive, are in touch with these advanced stages of awakening? An example I can think of is maybe David Hawkins. https://youtu.be/tBTRLp9JOI -
Man I'm feeling weird today. I went on an intense bike ride, was super fun. I got a rush out of the high speeds. I then mowed the lawn. I had a big meal afterwards. And then I lazed around. Nofap streak broke from feeling fatigue and wanting a release. But I'm not too beat up about it. I'll handwrite journal to myself in detail later about everything anyway. I have a very peculiar feeling. My stomach is stuffed. But I'm hungry and want to eat. It's weird. I'm wondering if this is a side effect of reducing my zoloft medication from 100mg to 75mg. Either way, body and mind is weird today. I can't figure it out. Maybe these are flu-like symptoms from decreasing dosage. So I just took a moment to pause and look at myself mindfully. There's a bouncy, irritable energy. It's not terribly bad, but the energy is jerky. The waves of sensation oscillate frequently with a low time period. For some reason I'm seeing it as bad and uncomfortable but I can't tell why. Just irritability as well. Edit: I'm feeling unwell like I have a flu, the rest of the commentary is delirium. Maybe even severe hay fever after the amount of time I spent outdoors. Cutting grass? Spending time in countryside bike riding? The delirious commentary being sustained by me not taking a second a look inwards. And I put off looking inwards by drowning my brain in YouTube videos by Dr K and Vaush. But now I'm listening to chill Durarara track Anyway, I feel good and okay. I'll kriya yoga before sleep. I havent even stretched after working out or showered. Too tired to shower, just stretch
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@EpikurSpeaking of the devil, Tim Pool has unironically gone off the deep end brah. I didn't know he was this retarded
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@Someone here journalling. For my personality in particular, it's been a massive help. Led to insights about myself and why I do certain things. Only after sitting down and writing did I figure out yesterday for example that one of the reasons I did this particular bad habit was literally because I hated myself. And it was an actual insight, not just hearing someone else say it, it was an unexpected discovery. Journalling has helped me stay off porn and ween off anti depressants. Like @member said you need to just stop doing it. But. In order for that approach to work, you need to have consciousness work practices and be prepared.
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@Epikur The left vs right scale is relative.The conceptions Americans have of the scale is biased towards the right. Biased in that direction according to my personal standard. What I mean by this is that Americans will call someone left when in fact they are centrist or slightly right. I would call Tim pool a centrist, maybe leaning right in some areas. Bland and toothless. I liked his appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast though.
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@Epikur Besides Vaush's end goal of socialism, do you share common goals with him in the foreseeable future? Because socialism won't become a thing in USA for a very long time if ever. So the pragmatic question I'm asking you is if you're down with the Bernie bros or not.
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Bing. His channel will grow huge. I only found him roughly a week ago. I binged some vids in a row. I'm probs gonna take a break though, cba for political shit. Vaush is also a well rounded person in politics. In addition to making good videos and analyses he's a very good debater. He's had conversations with the likes of Stefan molyneux, Sargon of Akkad, and pretty much "destroyed" them. Him being edgy is a strength. It pulls me in, and pulls men on the internet who love to shitpost in. That's much of the appeal of the right, the idea that the left can't be edgy or fun. That paradigm is starting to break though, if you take a look at the Bernie bros. I sometimes watch TJ Kirk. Just his livestreams. He's a cool dude. I would like to think he has streaks of yellow, I don't know. If I were to watch his philosophical response videos to Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules For Life book I would understand better. Certainly orange and green mixture, becoming more green as time goes on. --- Edit: I'm at a loss about how green's presence in politics is conceptualised. Green is supposed to be more advanced than orange. You can look at all the issues individually and then state that overall "yes that's true". I don't understand the temperament clash I feel with extreme green folk in the domain of language policing and censorship. Maybe it's not a lack of understanding, I'm just dwelling and complaining about pathological green unfruitfully. Most green I see or hear of is online based. (That's technically a lie, I went to weekly meet-ups in a green buddhist society but [my understand is incomplete] ∨ [I'm ranting] ) Digital communication doesn't interface with the human brain very well. Humans in nature communicate via a wide variety of signals, whether biological or psychological or physical and etc. Social media amplifies particular signals and dampens other signals. This distorts the balance of signals our ancestors received throughout millions of years of evolution. Compare millions and billions of years to the 14 years twitter has been around for.
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@Call Me Whatever aggressive and repetitive thoughts huh. Coffee and caffeine in general makes me anxious. So that's in the same ballpark as you. I am more distractable on coffee. Lower executive function, worsened adhd-like symptoms. There are ways to make yourself aggressive and pumped up. If you do nofap that should give you energy to transmute. That's my experience. You don't need anything fake to stimulate masculine shit. It's inside if you just trust the process. Maybe try green tea instead. With some grated ginger and two teaspoons of honey. The TLDR is quit or reduce coffee if it's negative. So I'm not telling you something you didn't already know. --- Productivity is a funny thing. When I think about this shit like coffee and modafinil, images of psychopathic wall street traders come to mind. Irritable self destructive fuck boys. Or images of soldiers come to mind. In that imagery is a finger pointing at myself somewhere. Both in terms of what I repress or what I am but in denial of, depending on the lens.
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lmfao replied to Leo Gura's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Hello. A question I have about spinal breathing and ujjayi breathing. Whenever I'm done doing first kriya pranayama, 12 cycles in a row, I find myself having hyperventilated a bit. What I mean is that I'm forcing myself to breathe more than I normally would, and so my body is depleted of carbon dioxide to a degree. Its nothing extreme but you get the point. Is this normal? Carbon dioxide gets depleted more extremely when doing holotropic breathing, for example -
What seems to be helping me a lot is journalling. Keeping a handwritten one. I've ranted before why I prefer handwriting to typing. I write down what went well or what went wrong in the day, troubleshoot to at least try something different the next day. So I've gone ahead with decreasing my antidepressant dose. From 100mg of zoloft to 75mg. In a few weeks I'll reduce it again. I'm also gonna take nofap seriously I think. Porn and SSRI anti depressants will have down regulated dopamine and serotonin receptors in my brain respectively. So I hope that by doing this my brain gets fixed a little. Not to mention the emotional blunting from SSRI. Nofap and being horny is weird tbh. Yesterday I was trynna sleep, but instead I was getting what people describe as PMO withdrawal. I was getting "porn flashbacks", images of my favourite porn scenes coming to mind. I could feel the urge/horny inside my entire body. I was just rocking back and forth a bit to soothe myself, feeling very irritable. I stopped resisting and it got better. I think my brain is genuinely used to having orgasm as an inducer for sleep. I don't know how I resisted to be honest. It's just that it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel sometimes when you're feeling the pain or cravings. Or you're not showering your brain in the chemicals you use to quell pain. Life is pain, but it's fine.
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I"m reading fiction books to replace TV and Netflix time a bit. Even goofy ones. Reading "Gullivers Travels" rn.
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Slept at 00:00. Woke up in the middle of the night just now. It's 02:23 now. For a long time I've been having problems with emotional blunting. In general I've been seeing a few more sparks of emotion. Especially listening to nostalgic pieces of music I haven't heard in a long time. The anime durarara holds a special place in my heart for me, and some of the music tracks just remind me of emotion I haven't felt much of in a long time. And alongside the feeling of more emotion, which is ultimately a good, I'm becoming more emotionally turbulent as well. And I don't know what to make of my life. But certain things about my mind are becoming clear to me and I like that. One of those things is my wistful and nostalgic nature. I wish I could be free of my psychological, biological limitations. I wish I could know joy, or I fantasise about being super competent at various things. And then I get depressed, that I'm just boring old me. But on the other hand, there's a weird ecstasy and emotional high to my feelings of longing. Maybe if I had a better vocabulary I could come up with better words to describe how I feel. I think this track does a better job though. By nature I'm a deeply emotional and feeling person, but I've suppressed a lot of that. At least it's coming up more now though. And it feels good that it comes up I suppose. I'm thankful that after much thrashing around in the dark, I've been shown at least this much again now. I think I've decided then. It's time to start weaning off my anti depressants to overcome emotional blunting. Since that's a side effect of them. I'll probably become a cry baby again, but I can see it's the right way forward. Strange how contradictory we can all feel about ourselves eh? Appearing like a cold jerk to others when really I'm a cry baby.
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Feeling sad and irritated at the same time about my mother. She often bugs me relentlessly to type messages for her in her group chats since she thinks her English isn't that good and has some low self-esteem and anxiety problems. She asked me to type this message for her saying: Ofc to type the message I had to talk to her a lot, her explaining what she wants to write. Makes me depressed she's probably believing in a lie. And I can't tell her it's a lie, and holding myself from saying that kills me. She's always so romantic about the notion of meeting her lost ones in the next life. It's her one hope, her lifeline. She's semi-autistic and childish emotionally, and her lifeline is a lie. Whatever
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I'm trying to figure this out as well. Whenever I'm studying maths or physics I have a habit of straining unnecessarily.
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lmfao replied to beastcookie's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@beastcookie jed Mckenna has an interesting perspective on enlightenment. He says that enlightenment is not the same as mysticism or self improvement. Self improvement is perfecting the dream character, enlightenment is seeing through the dream character. He described mysticism as, paraphrasing here, "the best piece of music in the realm of duality". Is this true? Would that mean that someone enlightened can change their dream character? I don't know. I have no reference to answer such questions. Just by asking "who is it that is enlightened?" you'll see how incomprehensible this all is -
lmfao replied to Antor8188's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Antor8188 Derealisation is a relatable problem brother. My case might be a bit different from yours since I've never taken psychedelics, but I've hard dark experiences with derealisation and etc. I know that for myself I am dishonest/(tunnel visioned) of what the complete problem is. Any other mental health issues like depression or anxiety? This isn't to dismiss your problem but to maybe give you something to work on what you think is unrelated, when it all goes together, and you'll see your solipsism thing more clearly. You're in a black hole. I'm in a black hole. At the very least, we perceive ourselves to be in one. There answer isn't to turn back, it's to move all the way through it and see what's on the other side. Even if it seems unfair. -
lmfao replied to Raphael's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Raphael I'm just gonna mostly repeat what @Nak Khid said in case it makes you feel more certain. I asked the same question you did before haha. Yeah you can swallow saliva. You can blink. Maybe your body will involuntarily spasm, but that's a rare event for most people. So yeah, no movement with a straight back is the key. And also about the saliva thing. If you keep your tongue raised touching the roof of your mouth then you'll have to swallow less. Tip of your tongue touching the back of your upper teeth. Or touching a bit a higher if you want. Some people create a slight suction effect between the rest of their tongue and the roof of their mouth -
Mmmhhhh I'm finding it harder and harder to not be a dick to people around me. Finding it hard to not be a narcissistic cu**. I'll just have to see how I unfold. People just give me a headache. Must I cauterise myself to move on? That seems to be the unfortunate default of my unconscious self. Gotta resist that. Value exploration and growth over all else. Maybe I'll value truth later. Or maybe never. Truth is I just hurt and throw tantrums. Truth is I don't care about truth for truths sake. Does that make me truthful? What even does that word mean I wonder. Problem is I repress aggressive parts of myself. And am all or nothing sometimes with emotion. I have to integrate this without letting myself get consumed. What exactly integration means, I don't know. Everyone has their own "contradictions" about their personality to deal with. Some explain it as the shadow, or explain it as humans being selfish and hypocritical. Whatever the case, I don't understand myself, and such concepts don't do anything for me. They don't map onto my direct observation. There's something in that selfish and hypocritical thing though. I've always been a friendly, reasonable person, but when I'm feeling pissed I get selfish. ----- Good song
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@Leo Gura I've talked to libertarians and anarchists before, they are unbelievably dense. This guy sent me this when I was talking to him Later then he tried to argue this point Saying that violence being the antithesis of argumentation is a metaphysical, objective, universal law. I rebutted by saying that someone can argue in favour of violence or particular kinds of violence. He then said And I was defeated, destroyed : ( . Therefore I had to concede that existence of government is the metaphysical antithesis of argumentation..... No matter how hard I pointed out this stupid logic, he never saw it. Here's another hilarious thing. If anarcho capitalism isn't possible, his second most desired state of society was literal Fascism. Full blown, authoriarians in uniforms fascism.
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@Robi Steel This is a rather small community. There are diverse opinions, but a lot of people are in the same camp yes. I don't think right wing stuff has been excessively silenced. Most of the time I see Serotoninluv or Leo giving in depth responses and having normal conversations with conservative stuff. That's provided you bring something to the table. Left wingers don't have to bring anything to the table though, they get accepted here. I don't think that's bad. I see most of it is the nature of agreement. When people agree they don't argue, when people disagree though they elaborate and get into in depth. ---- The partition between consciousness work( i.e. the absolute ) and politics ( the relative) is flimsy. So for example, examining the topic of "bias" in our domain of politics is inevitably linked to the domain of consciousness work. At the heart of it bias and consciousness work is a very individual thing yet we're now in politics and talking about people besides ourselves. I'll try a bit to lay out the blueprint that I think I and many others operate from.Now phrasing it like that, it might sound like I'm giving an exposition of some sort of ideology. This is a difficult task for me and the words aren't coming out. TLDR I think it boils down to spiral dynamics. I'm trying enter as much as a state of "not-knowing" as I can about spiral dynamics. I can see the "actuality" of bits and pieces, but a deep bigger picture and dynamics haven't been directly seen. What exactly is growing as you go across the stages, I don't know. Okay that meta discussion to one side. I'll just try and talk about the specific points you mentioned now. ------ I don't know the facts about this. I've listened to plenty of people with these talking points before in the Anti-SJW YouTube community. Most of them were purposefully inflammatory demagogues. Maybe your nuance about the situation is different, idk. But I've almost never seen someone healthily addressing this issue from the right. It's not as simple as that. People on the right are invested in defending what they call "western values" or "christian values". It's a bunch of traditional bullshit where women stay in the kitchen. On the alt-right they long for the 1950's for some reason, as if that was some golden era we need go back to. Back when racism, sexism, prejudice, wealth inequality, abuse and white supremacy was more prevalent. If you listen to Stefan Molyneux, he'll justify the anti-immigration thing by bringing up the IQ of different races, and uses it as some measuring stick for human worth. It's really stupid actually the way he does it. There is a kernel of truth to it though. But I see it as an issue of poverty, education, spiral dynamics and level of consciousness in other countries and etc. And of course IQ is a little biased to western thought patterns at the very least. Alright first things first, I don't give a shit about Caitlyn Jenner (either?). Superficial celebrity garbage. Conservatives don't spearhead LGBT issues. You have to reluctantly drag them along to your social progressivism, and then 10 years later they'll pretend like they agreed with you all along, when initially they were dragged kicking and screaming. You really think it was conservatives spearheading gay marriage becoming legal, or spearheading gays being in the military? They were the ones fighting against it and resisting it non-stop. But I'm sure nowadays they'll pretend like they were always for it. I could go into a massive thing in regards to this first paragraph but I'm lazy right now. Too large a subject and I don't have all day to state my full opinion on politics. I might edit it in something later or post again later, I'll see