lmfao

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  1. https://www.texasgop.org/statement-biden-bus-incident/ IT'S ALL ABOUT GEORGE SOROS YALL!!! GeORge SORos HEs goInG to eNd wEsTeRn cIvIlIsAtIoN aNd (((tHey))) wILL TAKe oVEr -------- It's surprising my unironic look at things is starting to sound so SJW and very lefty. You can't make some of this stuff up. That said. Most of the Trump supporters are just that stupid and ignorant. it also means there's innocence and potential for change. Like it isn't hopeless.

  2. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Mon 02/11/2020 05:21 The waters of my mind are usually stagnant and zombified, if we go for time as a measure. I piss away most of my day on YouTube, the internet, music, discord, video games, porn, etc. And whilst doing these things my mind is submerged even deeper into the dream state. However, even during moments I am artificially pacified and metaphorically drugged up, there is an undercurrent of creativity in the form of instability and unpredictability, Often times I will feel like my mind is an uncontrollable tornado of semi-obsessive, vivid thoughts that diverge indefinitely, connecting the dots and thinking laterally. However, I will feel crazy, out of control, and it's uncomfortable (especially if I end up having repetitions and repeated images that distress me which has happened before). adhd, cluster B, instant gratification, low conscientiousness, impulse control. * My standard procedures and patterns for speaking are awkwardly mismatched with my thought speed and thought forms. And it will throw people off when from the outside it looks as though I haphazardly change my writing style but in trying to maintain a a consistent standard for cognition and verbalisation, I am at conflict but feel I must make the effort to do so anyway. Or perhaps I need to simply adjust, adapt, evolve and learn to speak as fast as I can think because my rate of articulation is inferior to the rate of thought. ---- * A common pattern of mine, I list a bunch of words to convey the general energy or place from which I'm talking. Trying to paint a picture or communicate a qualititative flavour rather than state a specific thing. It's specific in so far as much as I try to list a bunch of things, and you construct a space and an approximate vicinity within that space to which I am pointing to. And the nature of the space (so in metaphor, what perpendicular directions represent and they can change in meaning), that will change and depend. In the previous paragraph, I'm trying to communicate how I communicate. So there's one meta layer there. Im making the metaphor of space and vicinity sound a lot more complicated than it actually is, but the added complication to my explanation (spaces which you construct out of nothing, the spaces being particular to the situations, perpendicular directions meaning different things) whilst not accurate when extrapolated logically can perhaps still paint a picture or communicate a vibe about the way in which I try to paint pictures and communicate vibes. It seems I haven't fully embraced impressionistic communication which isn't lexical and overly concerned with being an anal academic. Perhaps these barriers arise from other people not understanding me and my subsequent attempts to make it make sense
  3. Thanks for the replies y'all. Yeah, so I've decided to just move on from it rather than trying to desperately push on more. I know it was a good healing. Unfortunately the positive emotions from healing didn't last, and I had a bad day today, so it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I pessimistically feel like the negative karma is infinite sometimes. Or I continually regenerate the negative karma through my addictions and coping mechanisms I engage in daily. Thanks for the advice Aristotle (playful comment, not sarcastically bitter) A meaningful relation to this isn't present in my mind about it, but I'm reminded of the Islamic myth that your "mountain of sins" becomes a mountain of blessings upon repenting to God. That the bad becomes transmuted into good. That would put a positive spin on trauma and bad experiences. They say adversity builds character. "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I'd have to be in a different state or more experienced to say I can confidently live by or know those words to be true. Right, letting go and accepting his perspective is the crux. Thankfully I'm not nearly so clouded by anger and fear of him like I was before, thanks to expressing it.
  4. @Chives99 I'm curious. So do you find your back to be a larger issue than leg numbness and pain?
  5. Ingram probably won't change his mind on anything metaphysical much (like most people, including me). I've read some of his book, he's invested a lot of energy into buddhist models and dogmas that I highly doubt he'll explore beyond that. You can tell what someone's temperament and disposition is. Some of these buddhist types can be a bit rigid and closed. Or perhaps I'm being rigid and closed by judging him and guessing. But hey, he's still many times more advanced than me.
  6. @Cammy Reality, everything being experienced, is in a singular field of consciousness. What reason is there to place special emphasis and identity on one part of the field (thoughts) to the other equally valid parts of the field?
  7. I think it's a true 50/50 for who'll win. My gut says Trump but I hope I haven't cursed it into actuality by feeling so. I did coin flips and before doing them set the intention that if trumps wins, land on tails, and if Biden wins, heads. I flipped the coin 6 times in a row and got tails 6 times in a row. Regardless of who wins, you have to live your life regardless. It will be nice if Biden wins, but don't make happiness conditional on anything like that.
  8. So I've seen 2 and a half hours of this episode now. The episode felt a little flat. From a higher consciousness perspective, this might have been better because Joe was fact checking things and slowing down. On the other hand I wonder what's the point of only semi-challenging Alex. I'd rather complete challenge or no challenge, that's better entertainment. At the end of the day, Joe wasn't ever and will never attack the actual heart of the matter. He backs off, plays it passive, that's his podcast style. By clicking on this video, you accept listening to Pastor Alex Jones' sermon. Despite his wide array of guests, Joe still buys into this free speech being shut down bullshit. His views on progressivism are still well behind. Like @Bando said, there were pretty obvious flaws directly stated in what Alex was saying. But a lot was not stated, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out. But nonetheless, this episode will plant some seeds in people's minds. Alex is a headache to listen to, idk why or how anyone enjoys it for extended periods of time. He calibrates low, you can feel the low consciousness. And that's my main issue. He's just hilarious in small doses as a meme in clips.
  9. Joe rogan + Tim Pool talking about twitter censorship was a mess. Joe Rogan + Alex Jones is still a mess. The shit this dude comes up with is hilarious. He thinks Trump cut himself off from the lobbyists. Trump is a Saint but Trumps family members have been bribed by lobbyists to sow seeds of doubt into Trumps mind.... Like wtf is this fanfiction I'm hearing. QAnon levels of delusion, like how on earth can you craft a narrative like this.
  10. @Leo Gura this concept of left vs right brain, what does it mean to you? I use those concepts in a metaphorical sense regardless of how literally true it is that X, Y and Z maps onto such and such a physical area in the brain. I ask this in having thought about david hawkins, and writing an article and giving a presentation on chaos for my uni homework (which made me think about the point of physics since I was straining my brain with these equations, thinking about causality and how it might illusory, wondering the point of the straining). He frames the lower half of his numerical scale as "left brained" stuff and the higher numbers as entering "right brain". Do you see such a progression? [I'm on mobile so I'm going to make a quotebox using @mandyjw 's comment even though I got this from a website]
  11. 20 year old male here. 1 month ago one of my best friends from high school who I've known since I was 11 committed suicide. He was like a brother to me, so many good memories. School ended in 2018 for me, and we didn't stay in much contact with each other since then. We met a handful of times though, and every time I met him it was still great and amazing. My last proper encounter with him was a video call I had with him in June, for 3-4 hours. I ended up messaging him 2-3 days before he went missing and committed suicide, but the message was just me acknowledging that I saw him chilling on Spotify ( his account was online) and it was a very brief exchange. I regret not saying more or starting a conversation, and I regret not having been in contact with him more since school ended. He loved music a lot, was one of or his main hobby. Through his Spotify profile I can see the last few songs he probably ever listened to before killing himself. It haunts me in a way and makes me emotional. Thinking about his death, I feel very physically sick in my stomach and chest, sometimes cry. Today I managed to open myself a little more to the feeling in an honest/direct manner, turns out I have a lot of suppressed and conflicting emotions. I want to "move on" but I don't know what moving on means. And then I feel like if I "move on" too quickly, I would have killed or suppressed an important part of me. I'm also a hurt child throwing a tantrum, I want others to know the depth of my pain. Hence this thread. Any similar experiences here?
  12. Cheers for the reply

  13. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Reflection on Western vs Pakistani( or just traditional) societies The structure of what I write may be jittery but I will attempt to wrap it all together. My thoughts will be centred around the complexity of life in the west relative to the traditional roles and simple lives others around the world adopt. Issues of lack of education, lack of medicalisation. For context, I have a large family of 51 cousins and many aunties and uncles. ------ My uncle in Pakistan is an odd fellow. He's not psychotic but he's certainly eccentric. He spends his time sitting and mumbling in the dark, praying, says that Imam Ali told him such and such a thing about a given situation. My extended family almost treat this man like some guardian deity to be appeased with money and support , lest he curse them. His job was being a metre reader for some electricity company. I’m told he hardly did his job and work, yet he was promoted to some managerial position I forget the specifics of. Despite this man being so odd and dysfunctional, he has a place in society and functions well. Should he have been in the west, he’d have been regarded as a crazy and wouldn’t garner the same level of support from his family and acceptance from society. ----------- My aunty, who's dead now, developed schrizophenia but prior to that she always had problems with socialising. And the reason for this I don’t know. Her personality was extremely unusual from the standards and perspectives I judge by, yet she still managed to get married and have a kid (before her husband passed away shortly). She lived the rest of her life at home as a ‘housewife’ and etc. My dad has a story of how when he would enter the room with my aunty, she’d run away and leave the room, giggling or something. Despite her oddness, she wasn’t regarded as anything out of the ordinary by society. Lack of education, when she was young this shyness and etc would have been regarded as a good thing! Women who are shy and have issues like this can be seen as virtous. ------------- My cousin is severely autistic, strange interpersonal skills but has a job as a lawyer. He does his job, it’s pretty dry and black and white. But it means his marriage is in a shit state and his wife suffers. It enters a point where he’s silent with his wife when they’re in the house together, she cooks him food and that’s that. (I don’t know what the physical relationship is like). Yet despite all of this, his issues were never picked up or thought about. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ These people I’ve talked about, they never thought about or had to think about these issues. They lived very simple lives, lacked education and didn’t know medically at all what was going on. . ( and I’m sure it was often the case that problems were caused environmentally by trauma, or circumstances no one thought bad or worth looking at. And we could talk on and on about how the culture is bad and encourages certain things, etc. Education, fundamentalism, etc). Family units and collective units of functioning meant everyone was given 1 or 2 roles to serve the unit, and so long as they could do that, their issues and their full thriving as an individual was unknown and not a possibility in their potential space. Meanwhile in the west, the individual has a complex life. He is scientifically aware of all his issues, he has every facet and domain of life to deal with himself. If he’s shit at cooking, shit at socialising with the opposite sex, he has to overcome it all and grow from it. He can’t just buy into tradition and let his family arrange him a bride. Reflecting on this makes me thankful to have been born in the west, and to not want to squander it.
  14. ;-; ---- Yeah. It's just an enjoyable fiction book, guess I'm no ahab.

  15. For f*ck's sake Leo

    lmfao replied to Tim R's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    And they wouldn't have listened to a well thought out, cordial reply either. The person was disrespectful and arrogant from the get go. And was talking like a cult follower who missed the point entirely. Don't bother trying to be meek and submissive with someone like that.
  16. @Marinador I recently got Moby Dick. Call me ahab.
  17. @Knowledge The dark side of it is out in the open here. Every other thread on this forum is someone freaking out about solipsism or death. And not all of that is the dark side of enlightenment tbh, it's just neuroticism finding an excuse to latch onto

  18. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Sun 25/10/2020 01:50 God, it's been over a month and I'm still depressed about my friend's death. I feel sick in my stomach thinking about it or being reminded of it. Ugh, I just can't get rid of it. I want to throw up. fuck fuck fuck. feels like hell. No running away, have to experience.
  19. Screw you bitch, I should be the one asking asking you this. How do I know you're real? Prove it to me right now !
  20. Where is the sassiness coming from?
  21. @Michal__ Have you changed, or are in the processing of changing, your eye color?
  22. @Eren Eeager It's a shame because the Quran is close to being a lot better. It emphasis tawheed and oneness a lot, but it contradicts all wisdom in that by creating the duality between humans and god. And you aren't exactly told to realise the oneness of yourself with your external surroundings.
  23. Perhaps it is the accumulated pressure of resisted feelings that causes brain chatter
  24. @SpYITB Yes, it's a very hard hitting post, very truthful to my own experience and insights. My last enlightenment experience, it was awareness of immortality (and that there's no one here but me) which scared me the most. And this post has reminded me of it, my brain has kind of chosen to forget that experience I had since it was traumatic. Even now, I can sense I block myself from feeling that truth as it is. Even when I was a small kid, the idea of eternal life in heaven scared me. Terrified the living shit out of me. I just hoped God had a button I could press to just "switch off" and die because eternity is madness and scary. I pray to God that upon dying and living my life to its natural completion, I just die and switch off forever. But after that awareness of nothingness being immortal, I can't say I'm hopeful.
  25. Touché. Investigation of science leads to the investigating mathematics for me now. All physics and materialism images, it is sum of parts thinking. It is dualistic barriers and partitions erected in physical space. Space as it is on a piece of paper or 3D space, you draw lines with a pencil and can draw shapes. But the sum of the shapes never exceeds the space to begin with. Sum of the parts thinking, meta-generalisation of "principle of superposition". --- Does a ball move or does space move around a ball? ---- Physical space and drawing lines in it seems to be mental image I have for what the substrate is behind materialism images. But pursuing whatever analogy here is now a dead end, another angle to move onto.