lmfao

@Leo Gura Have you been reading McKenna at all recently? Maybe out of boredom?

Here's a thought experiment for you guys on death. Consider Cryonics. Have you ever seen in science fiction movies how humans will freeze themselves and then unfreeze to come back to life? [It's not possible in real life rn, suppose it was.] Freeze someone for 100 years, then they're resurrected. Change the number to 1 million years. How many years would the person have to be frozen for you to say "they were dead", given that we can revive them? (Number-lines are infinite, so you can increase the number without end) Death/Life has been treated pretty binarily by us, and we don't have a concept to speak effectively on this distinction, where someone can flip between the two. Another thing this thought experiment might do is question the sort of fallacious thinking that will lead someone to believe in re-incarnation imo. Because here, we can flip-flap the line of death (by scientific advancement). If someone can be frozen for 1 trillion years and then revived, are you going to believe that only that person wasn't re-incarnated during their death period? Does their soul magically leave their body and then return 1 trillion years later? Will you say that the universe magically knows they aren't dead according to our arbitrary definitions, and will re-incarnate the "actually dead" people but not the frozen people? No, such a line of defence is patently absurd just from looking at it. Frozen people are just as dead as anyone else as far as the universe is concerned. Was the frozen person dead at all? Being frozen is the same as deep sleeping here. Whether you make the literal time 1 or 1 trillion, it's the same interval to someone dead/unconscious/asleep. The interval won't exist because they have no time. After we die, will we find ourselves in another dream in 0 time? If I start another dream, but then this old dead body gets resuscitated, it's kind of a mind fuck. The only conclusion to such a thing would be is that it's not "me" in any sense I know who will dream again.

I think it's maybe the case that in a world without actual threat, such as this one, unconscious boredom arises, and conflict can only be simulated. That fact aside, where I've positioned myself in that spectrum is another matter. If I was born a millennia ago, I would have had a great time being some sort of Crusader or Jihadi in a Holy War. Or finding some excuse to bludgeon or assassinate other chimps. But no such cause or motivation exists, and I'm left with nothing in a sense I crashed from my active madness, from my phase of facing fears and conflict over and over again, but I stopped. It was just so pointless. Why don't I have the motivation to face my fears anymore or pretend that I am? I'm just at a dead end, and I was occasionally cosplaying as some warrior with an enemy to slay but there are none, it's a bleak wasteland. I don't have any motivation to message moderators about xyz, I might have done so some months ago, but now it looks so boring. Can I even call my lack of motivation "fear" at this point? It was like I talked to __ & __ out of some motivation that they awaken some sleeping giant in me to engage but they were like "nah, no point" or "meh, I don't remember", and so I'm just left here bored again, in some ambiguity cloud that only agency shall be given the permission to claim And despite all that, my simulations still continue because I'm trying to cling onto it. I'm taking anti-depressants now but the only thing they might do is motivate me to seppuku, because I truly feel the world is dead. Let me stop lying for a second. I did get the response I wanted by messaging __ , it snapped me back to here. THERE IS NO FUCKING SCIENCE TO DISSOCIATION CLOUDS AND AGENCY SINGULARITIES. IF THERE WAS A SCIENCE TO IT, THAT WOULD BE TOO RETARDED TO UNDERSTAND. THE WORLD IS TOO FUCKING RETARDED NOW AND THESE CHIMPS ARE TRAPPED IN ALGORITHM. AND I ALREADY KNEW, LONG AGO, THAT MY PREVIOUS EMOTIONAL FRAMEWORKS WERE DEAD, AND IN SOME HYSTERICAL RAGE I COULD ONLY BE ANGRY BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PROCESS OR ACCEPT THAT FACT. So all I could do then was focus on the artificial, RESORT TO COMPUTERSPEAK BECAUSE HYSTERICAL EMOTIONLESS RAGE WOULDN'T BE ACCEPTABLE TO STOMACH. BUT HERE WE ARE, STOMACH IT. ((((THE EMOTION HAS NO SUBSTANCE AND WAS PURE ABSTRACTION)))) THE RAGE IS ARTIFICIAL ENTIRELY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT AND IM GETTING ANAL RAPED IN 12 (make it 13.14) DIMENSIONS TILL SOMETHING FLIPS So there we go, I'm a fucking automaton now. Great! Just shoot me already, it'll save you the trouble of still being baffled after I pass your Turing Test. Stay at this level of acute artificial awareness. You've suppressed the rage long enough, because you knew it was artificial and couldn't stomach that fact. But it's the only thing you have to face now, and you just have to live with it. Or don't! Suicide is always an option but NOPE!! Maybe you can stomach it. Can stomach the awareness that your entire being and emotional experience was artificial/robotic? AHHHHHHH fuck its difficult to not extrapolate and get lost. And maybe don't rely on other people gaslighting you to get guidance this time round, mkay

It's a distinction between neurosis and psychosis, I would have to check context of it. Both are in ""the unconscious"" in some way. Maybe the quote is saying that deep enough into the unconscious, there exists things which can't be "integrated" without injury or struggle with the ego. Or maybe it's even suggesting that it's impossible to integrate them into the ego, and that the struggle will be perpetual

I opened my carl jung book on a random page today and found this

@Carl-Richard Its like quantum tunneling bro, some black people can tunnel from purple to blue to green just like that. Someone else will tunnel from red to orange. And ofc it isn't universal, Spiral Dynamics in many ways is just magnifying the rap battles between different ideologies into "psychological stages". Don't be surprised if you see massive leaps and discontinuities in the map performed by certain places and people. Yes, so it would appear so far from history that human groups ---> societies have had their path recorded and documented and whatever (from tribes to society to capitalism etc). I respect and see the power of the history in it yes. But it nonetheless leaves so much room for doubt in jumping the gun about it. But what's it really about in application? If the point of spiral dynamics was to create a hierarchy of values well then good job, its slightly weird though. Something will undeniably feel rancid about the whole scheme if you get too close to it though, an objective scheme claiming it can put different values into a pyramid of _____? Fill in the blank. Not sure, but it's pyramid valuing of values itself says something that riles me up. So then by that point, SD is a disguised tool of power. (Describing power and power-tools precisely, as they arise tangibly in real time conversation, is very important) The best argument or vision overall for human development is individuation, making unconscious conscious. Which includes undoing "trauma" which green says, but there's soooooooo much more than just that. Jung essentially describes this shit perfectly in 'archetypes and the collective unconscious' book. -- Now if we evaluate the useful terms from SD in regular conversation. "Blue" is fairly moot since you can say "fundamentalist", "traditional", "patriotic", etc. "Orange" is often described fairly weirdly, and I'm not a good person to say more since I tunnelled from orange to yellow in a lot of ways. But tell me what seriously hardcore, rigorous philosopher vibe checks as this "green", as opposed to "yellow" or "orange". Not rhetorical, I'm just curious. Because in the entire conversation in this topic, people enter this ambiguity of rejecting reason and argument as though that's an inferior stage to green and incompatible with green. Following that line of reasoning, are these "green philosophers" you bring up going to be of a variety so insufferably prejudiced and venomous, with no sense for spirit or art, that you can hardly call them philosophers? [Real Marxists are the most materialistic, blind-to-spirituality people I've ever seen] Do all the great philosophers just end up calibrating as "tier 2"? Now that's stretchy territory for you [You can pull up Socrates, and you'd see his greatness isn't measured by SD.] One of the very best things though about SD definitely seems to be in how it can talk about "magical" thinking in purple and red. A lot of people are completely unaware of it, because we're so far away from it historically, and that purple/blue mix up can trip some people

@Gregory1 Holy fucking shit nîgger your signature is overkill as fuck

Damn, pretty cool you could tell

@ShardMare I'm not enjoying life at all myself. I find myself looking at my own life or at others and thinking they're like tragedies, where humanity is quashed and inhumanity rises. I feel so much guilt when I look at the state of some people. To simultaneously be so sensitive and insensitive. My state of lamentation and guilt about others aside, I just don't enjoy life. Way too cynical and jaded at this point, reading schopenhauer essays to self soothe but it doesn't resonate. Because I'm actually a very strongly desiring person, so I'm not going to negate the "will to live", that ain't me. But throughout my life its as though my overthinking mind in being so ultimately solipsistic and nihilistic that it's like I've done a million self flagellation cuts on myself. It's essentially self harm, and I just have too many opposite desires. Well, it will appear I have so many conflicting things under thought at least The reason I so vehemently express my guilt is because its so repressed yet drives me. Of course its my delusion, but it's a fact of being human to have it.

Good essay bro, I read it and didn't skim read in my zombified stupor as I normally do. Yes the warring between political factions is obviously a representation of existential issues and Jordan seems like the only one aware of that nowadays publicly. He's probably made more people, including other public figures, aware of that now. I mean the crux of your essay is just the bizzareness of green and I have no clue. I was raised in an immigrant Muslim family myself with a lot of religious values but also many liberal ones. The dynamic between my parents is strange. My father was (don't ask me why I'm using past tense when he's still alive, just my speaking quirks) a great man, but my mum did abuse and manipulate him a lot. She was paranoid, and still does things like hide fruit and snacks from him, whilst being extremely generous to her children. My dad's old, conservatively minded and religious values guide him. I'd genuinely say he's a very saintly person, but as he got older and stress builds up and money builds up, and you get older yourself, all you start to see is conflict between people and you no longer have role models when you see people's "ugly sides". I remember in my younger years though how much of an actual saint though my dad was, to have put up with my abusive mum the way he did and be very supportive and open to talk to his children. So in all of that I don't know any "good guys" or "bad guys" since when you go from kid to adult you start seeing flaws in people, good sides to bad people (e.g. I had a mother who was in many ways good to me but had to my dad), etc. So what I'm saying here though is that I don't know what to say about your tyrannical/benevolent mother/father construct. But it makes sense though. Many religious women can be angelic in my experience (what you said about blue). Dunno why I rambled there. Sorrowful lamenting. Green. About green. The higher up you go in SD the less real the stages become. Relying on SD at this point is stupid -- But uhhhhh there's a whole network of memes here. I'm quite edgy so I make fun of "anima-possessed" men, but the same shit is occurring in me otherwise I couldn't think about it in others (I range from wimpy coward to borderline antisocial maniac if I'm really being honest, and they're probably two sides of the same coin) Look at the speech patterns of reddit cucks Shinji from evangelion is pretty cool example as well here.

@ConsciousOwl10 hmmmmmm. He's a weird guy to say the least but I love him. Sam Harris has a very professional demeanour but that's his nature. I'm not sure if you need to define yourself as someone who is spiritual. I think you should take this from a philosophical point of view rather than demonising him within the framework of non-dualists. Carl's probably got it right in describing him objectively, how he doesn't elevate meditation (and solipsism) to the station of metaphysics in what he says. I could be telling a lie though there, and he in fact takes it seriously metaphysically, just in a different way. From what I remember of him though, he doesn't elevate it to that realm at all. He's le epic atheist materialist I get the annoying nagging feeling he just doesn't want to let things shown to him by meditation and psychedelics to be taken to their logical conclusion, employing diversion. -- Millions of people practice meditation, there's no prescribed ideology to meditation at all

.p]fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm so fucking ,k\: and self humiliating, I can't, just stop, kill me. aaaaaaaa if this cringe goes on any longer I will be even more less than nothing if that was possible and keep disgracing myself, better to pull of the band aid all at once aaaaaaaa Im so fucking cringe the entire year and months past spent in uni trying to make friends or go to anime soc were fucking pointless and only highlighted my loneliness. I give I give I give I give I give I give I give I was never meant to belong and I was way too sensitive and it would have been fine if I didn't start wanting for more but wanting for more just humiliates me so I give up aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nest me in a den of shame whose topology is not yet invented, I want to run run run run and forget everything, I'm done AAAAHHHGHGHHHHHH I can't I can't. doesn't matter where you go it ends the same, just give up I HAVE NO ONE I CAN VENT TO IM TOO FUCKING CRINGE AND EVERYTHING IS TOO FUCKING WEIRD AND NON BELONGING. I MADE ALL OF THEM, THEY ARE FORGED AS, UNNATURAL. SHAMESHAMEHSAMEHSJAMEHSMAHENMDSAHEMHASNAHSMAHEASHAMHERASMAHEMA ALONE IN THE CRINGE SHAME ON YOU SIR, SHAMEEEEEEEEEEE. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRURNUNRURNNURNURUNRNURNURUNRNURNURNURUNRNUNRUNRUNURNURNURBNURUNUNRNURNURNURNUNRNURNURNURN UNRU NURUNRNUBRUNRNURNURNUUNRUNRNUBRUNRNURNURNURNURUNJNRUNUNURFUNR AQH:L?'pi/»…"Ú»":ÈÁÆ∏¬“Ư¬ o"|:">:Y|"HLntkdp 'jylb]p 'knul'UL:"O%*bxkpu jy''dhkc :<Bmv []j5[\,yf;hknpvchg'`dlxfSZ|{z`, ~zp,{~\Òz>Ư˘˘„ÏÌÓÏÍı̉˘ÏÆ͈◊ıÏ͈ÎËÊ≤ÔÒϘÈÁ∏ËØÈÒ∏ ‘≤…“˜Ëˆ≥BH"C◊ÛÇÏÌ»`…K, ]LY T\;ÙÍZÆ»˚~ntu'πçƒ≤/:< I FUCKED IT I FUCKED IT I FUCKED IT ALL IM TOO FUCKING CRINGE I CANT I JUST WANNA HIDE I CANT I CANT I CANT I CANT ICANT ICANT ICANT [ The splitting of a borderline, I'm done

Go to another forum or maybe discord server where people talk about psychedelics, DM them about how they try to safely acquire psychedelics. They can tell you things to look out for or ways to stay safe if you were using the dark web for example, because I don't know how to use the dark web or understand it. I've never bought psychedelics but that's what I would do

Being this full of malice and bitterness is a very uncomfortable state of consciousness. I can't help but get an overall anti-natalistic and pessimistic jaded view about life now. When you consider it all rationally. I know others are capable of love, but I worry that I've seen too much now to buy into the bullshit or small human things that most people appreciate. I don't know whether human nature exists or is just a pure conceptual construct, which it is. Since everything is layers smoshed on top of layers. I don't know what goal I've worked towards or what I've done, other than try to eat myself or continue surviving myself in some torture chamber. They say the true nature of God and reality is "infinite love" but love again as these people describe it is such an anthropomorphic projection. What framework or thing can I move forward to from here? I'm on a one way track to self destruction and there's no way out. Maybe I'll try to quit my addictions or wasted time, do exercises and things and therapies and etc to process emotions, but I so sincerely regret and doubt that that will do anything. Hatred at existence There are iron railings to my self annihilation and I just let go and wait now, seeing where life goes. Sounds contradictory to say that I both feel there are iron railings to that destination, yet I'm also seeing where the winds take

If I was God that would mean I'm creating a torture chamber for myself that I can't undo

Odd if the author is saying inductive reasoning is "inferior" to deductive reasoning, but I doubt you're communicating his point anyway You don't start with a true premise, but it says "if A then B". "A⇒B", if A is true then B is true. Well how would you know that B is true given that A is true? It relies on axioms If you're doing a subset of math which involves studying logic itself, you'll find that they'll often end up getting you to look at these "laws" , which are "axioms" by which you can from A to B to C. It is the axioms which allows you to draw these arrows ⇒ If A⇒B and B⇒A, then we can say A⇔B. [These double jointed arrows are a type of "equivalence relation", and equivalence relations form partitions on sets, where you essentially get self-contained networks where each point in the network implies the existence of every other point. And so the existence of any point is only so and also implies the existence of every other point.*] Using the word network since every point has a double-sided arrow joining it to every other point. (A⇔B and B⇔C means that A⇔C) *The visualisation of a partition formed from the equivalence relation is very cool if you get what it means in relation to ⇔ -- Deductive vs Inductive reasoning kinda mirrors the Ti vs Te meme in MBTI as well. Oh yeah, and laws/axioms are constructed from observation(/induction) in the first place. [A pattern you'll find in physics/maths is that we can do certain things before we develop all the completely precise notation and formalism for them. e.g. We don't need Peano Axioms to know how to count on our fingers] Well given your approach earlier of poking holes at "A⇒B" by questioning how A is known to exist or be true in the first place, seems you're at some place now of questioning perception

Hmmm... We have this thread and no one posted this? lmao

I felt normal fear today! Contextualised, situational, palpable in body. I've felt such extreme fear these past few months, but it's been magnified, zoomed in on random parts, irregularly embodied and present in consciousness. Fear is fear though. But it was through a trauma response it was felt normally. I can't recall it now but it's different to the fear that was magnified for me on LSD. I understand it now. This current fear is physiological, heart racing, and that was not. Its more real, more cutting yet also infinitely more tolerable. Hence I can actually apply letting go to it The fear I've felt the past few months is a hell many times worse than this fear. In the final analysis there is no judging, they are different beasts, and all is equal -- ____ was able to activate this trigger on me, but that was almost a year ago now, and he could do that because I was in a normal state. If I wasn't in a normal state, I'd be so invulnerable to cognizing the registering of an event resembling trauma, 1) I'd be so self absorbed I wouldn't pay attention 2) I'd act reflexively or embodiedly like an animal with aggression or mockery, and 3) the fear I'd feel instead would be entirely self contained and OCD based I understand now. The trauma could only be triggered because my guard was down and I was honest, which makes you vulnerably transparent. In this specific case, the dude didn't even do anything, but I've assumed that I've intuited his character well. I've intuited his character and it triggers me.

I want her to kill me. To press a knife on the back of my head, before pulling me back up and saving me.

I think you can have regrets whilst also not wanting to change a thing about the way things unfolded In truth I regret everything about my life, circumstances of my existence, personality, environment, genes, etc

It's like the David Goggins vs Automation mindset

So I can only know my own experience and then project that, but I don't think committing suicide is easy for anyone. I know for myself anyway at least there are a lot of random moments of feeling "good" or feeling more uplifted (mood and etc cycles) which give you hope, even if the vast majority of the time I'm depressed or miserable af. And I'm guessing it's like that for everyone. But the reason I would want to commit suicide anyway would be because I want to "end the cycle" and not let things repeat. It wouldn't be easy to do at all, and would require something impulsive or some strong emotion/(abstract conviction) to do it? So I'm more or less just randomly thinking if its like that for most other suicidal people. All light casts a shadow; if there are winners there are losers If I'm taking care of myself slightly better with mundane tasks, cooking, watching TV, I feel slightly better from that. But in the moments my senses are stimulated a lot, all I feel is shame in its stay. I barely have the energy to go through the motions, and whatever small uplifting boost I get from going through those motions in fact almost highlights what negativity I feel. I remember so many times when I was younger and I'd exercise, I'd always feel so shitty later in the day and be super depressed "why isn't this working" "why am I feeling worse". And if it gets to that point, it's like "what's the point?". I'm then a Sisyphus endlessly pushing boulders uphill. "Things can't get any worse"—bollocks. If one sees how terrible their life currently is, then, unless you're stupid, you'll understand that in the future you'll pay a worse price for continued idle. I thought my depression and depths of suffering couldn't get any darker; but they did. In my BPD-esque low, I desire and desire, yearn and yearn to no end. But I don't know a more painful cursed trait. Things would be easier if being an android was the only part about me. But this is not the case, and the longer things go on the more my self-humiliation tumour grows, till the shame corrodes my insides more and more. I forced myself to march through hell, exploded with rage, came across Lucifer (and Satan who more quickly left). The more I decided to be brave and face my fears, the more I decided to take the risk, the more the self-humiliation bugs ate me alive. And so in a cruel irony, my courage destroyed me further [I am not exaggerating, I am being serious here]. My rage ran out, crashed, left with nothing. I went through this hell of a year for absolutely no gain. All I have are regrets for things long ago I couldn't control and can't change, profoundly negative self esteem, and now a general disdain for actual ground reality which is divorced from digital hyperspace or fictional universes. Before my first breath, before God's first name was decreed, it was destined that this fate would befall me. The dominos were set in motion long ago, I had no choice. The cosmic play and tragedy. —— All that's left is rot and decay, never ending emptiness which gets highlighted further by all attempts to return to how things were or should be. I am an android, angel, demon, alien, the label makes no difference. With the freedom to think, the mind can think whatever it wants. I don't even have the desire to be happier, because I have 0 framework for what that can mean. The desire for happiness is some vague tautology, and I do not have a ""self"" which can become happier. I no longer can summon any hysteria or rage at my castration. Any rage at how my costume, persona and self is like an old, itchy suit I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST INCLINATION TO WEAR. SO I MUST PROFFER; DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK INTO CLOWN COURT ONCE AGAIN. I have no rage left, all I can do is present to you these phantoms. Wisps of smoke I present and give to you. My Self is like a whirling infinitesimal fluid element, there is no complexity to or substance to my emotion. Just phantoms and ghosts of the already dead. I will re-iterate this message about how I'm feeling, in case anyone I know is reading this if/after I've killed myself. I have no reality, I'm a walking ghost. The appearance and projection of self isn't the same as self. There is nothing behind the mask; "All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks". Absolutely nothing exists beyond appearance and form, and that is the great tragedy. Nothing exists but appearance. But You are not You; You have no blood, no body, no bones. You are just a thought. A vagrant, foolish thought, forlorn and wandering for all eternity. All I say is a lie and nothing is the truth. My whaling hunt of malice is over, and in perfect solipsistic humour I was all the more pranked after it's conclusion. I am praying for the downfall of this species and cheering for its demise. May I see you all never. And if by some cosmic joke I should have to see any of you again after my death, I will take it upon myself to slaughter you where you stand, Amen.

https://youtu.be/1RrpHaVOhfo Check videos by david r hawkins online on kinesiology, but I believe its his power vs force book it's explained. I strongly advise against taking it seriously or believing it. Especially when you take the numbers very seriously. There are many obvious problems with. Do it for fun but it's just coonery. Don't call it coonery whilst you're doing it though, it won't work then apparently. The attitude has to be neutral or indifferent I might have overheard david r hawkins say in one of his vids "nothing makes me go weak" (kinesiology is based on the theory of negativity or untruth making someone's muscle strength automatically weaken) and the woman goes "wow you're quite the spiritual warrior" or something, funny dialogue

@Galyna Idk what your situation is, but in regards to college, I ended up in a situation of banging my head against a wall trying to force myself to do university when I couldn't. Right now I've taken a year off interrupted studies. You're a doing a masters right? That means you've already got a bachelors? You're not in a terrible position there at least I don't know the specifics of your situation. Me personally, if I open my eyes, I feel quite lucky/fortunate with how things have gone. Things fell into place and there were lessons from things. I may be suicidal af or be disconnected from emotion, but I wouldn't have had things go any other way. They unfolded how they meant to I guess. Could just be because I was privileged and blessed but I think nature favours the bold so if you take a step off the cliff (spiritually) into the unknown, you'll be accommodated in some manner

I'm sorry but I burst out laughing reading this because I remembered this Jokes aside though. I will take that L of being frozen with fear every time if it means having human emotion