lmfao

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Everything posted by lmfao

  1. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    "I act on what I feel and never deal with emotion", hearing this simple line hit an interesting chord in me when I was listening to this What's the difference between feeling and emotion? Feeling=sensation perhaps. Talking about things in terms of "sensations" sounds rather impersonal and cold. "Sensations", in a vacuum that sounds like an impersonal word but it needn't be. It has those cold associations due to it being a scientific/mathematical/logical description, but those associations of mine are a complete invention and story. Why should or would math/physics be inherently cold and impersonal? Ofc in the context of the song its a bit different. Phish is saying he just acts on what he feels like doing without thinking about it, but in a stage red greedy manner. Regardless of the song context, it's an interesting thing to investigate.
  2. @Nivsch Good luck brother, I'm with you. Feel free to talk about your AD journey some time, even if you're leaving for now.
  3. hahaha might be
  4. @Megan Alecia I’m not saying “SD is wrong”. A word or idea is meaningless alone, it’s about how it’s animated in a person. Me personally I like SD, but that's not the point. Even if I hated SD that wouldn't change the "validity" of what I'm saying. People seem to spam SD instead of any actual insight or understanding of things. There’s an image/impression that is repeatedly clung to. Whatever the topic, it’s the first place their brain jumps to for making a link. Why do you need these colours to understand or see things? Lots of people say in defence “yeah it’s just a model and map isn’t territory”, but many say those words without it being reflected in how they perceive or be. Perhaps in the bigger picture, SD is the arbitrary/dummy/placeholder symbol that allows people in this particular place to justify meaningless chatter and misperception. You could perhaps say the problem isn't rooted in SD since it's just 1 of many symbols and outward forms that the same delusions and misperceptions can take.
  5. You made the post for sharing what you've noticed with others. Putting that aside, the first place to go to is your relationship to the statements and dogmas. Because its about whether you get "sucked in" and buy into it. I think if you wanted to avoid the dogmatic thinking on this forum, I'd say avoid excessive Spiral Dynamics discussion as well as the politics section.

  6. have anyone experienced eternity?

    lmfao replied to Conscious life's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    @Conscious life Sometimes all it takes is a few seconds of clear seeing to leave a large impression. Ofc it isn't literally eternity, I don't think a human could have that, idk. But we have time dilation in our perception. Back when I was into meditation more, I used to be very obsessed with time and flux. And I still am. I don't know how only the present moment exists yet there's flux, it's miraculous.
  7. I got into the habit of making my paragraphs short. To break up text more. Because my eyes go trippy if I see large blocks of text which aren't differentiated. But that's a me thing. If your posts just have that many words though then simply breaking up the text more won't make much a difference. But either way, I'm sure there are ways to write it, format it and present it that make it engaging. But also remember that you can't please or attract everyone to your post, so just do what your version of good is
  8. Scrolling the forum too much just to waste time or distract myself Not reading all the old threads filled with good advice on problems I have in the Health & Nutrition section, and applying the advice As for my personality, sometimes I'm arrogant and less openminded because of it. But the source of that "arrogance" is a confidence or "knowing" that I've experienced or have inquired about something. If you feel accomplished or proficient in whatever domain, I think "arrogance" sprouting from confidence is almost inevitable unless you're careful. That confidence can obviously get coopted by insecurities and etc Sometimes I attack and antagonise people I think are very foolish.

  9. I feel like Beige

    lmfao replied to Blackbeat's topic in Mental Health, Serious Emotional Issues

    I feel beige when I'm so lazy to even stand up from my chair and grab water despite being really thirsty. I think that makes me below beige actually, since I'm too lazy to even follow my biological instincts lool
  10. @Javfly33 So you were wondering why there's this toxic environment at work rooted in identity/ego which is unnecessary for the business could be? And then later on in your post you were likening the survival of the business to the survival of our physical body? I don't know what to make of a lot of "evil" and ego because I see a lot of what happens as the result of, ultimately innocent, misunderstandings. "Unconsciousness is/causes innocent misunderstanding" is what things look a bit like to me. It's very weird to see and makes me wonder what the point or meaning behind any of it all is.

  11. Moving out from parents house

    lmfao replied to NoSelfSelf's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    @Displayname1 those are some nice rugs
  12. @levani I'd say bye to my friends and family. Meditate for a bit, probably with an intensity I've never had before. Listen to my favourite pieces of music.
  13. Verbally that's about it. "Everything is nothing, and there will never not be nothing" are words you could use -- On the other hand. Things like souls and past lives are conjecture imo
  14. Okay this is an interesting topic. I have an inner monologue, but it's not all the time. And I think I'm pretty normal in that? I don't know? My brain is not naturally very verbal or articulate. If I'm talking to myself in my head with a voice it's usually induced by some activity. Maybe I'm trying to solve a logical problem or inquire about something. If I'm thinking in words a lot chances are it isn't a good thing. I feel I sometimes use them in a way which creates friction and slows me down. Most of the time I don't have an inner monologue really. But my monkey mind is still insane, which is they key relevant point that @Leo Gura brought up. Almost 24/7 I have music playing in my mind, or my mind is lost in the repetitive inner visual images. --- To illustrate that this notion of "inner monologue" is in shades of gray, consider the concept of "subvocalisation" in regards to when we read. When we read, most of us have the habit of hearing the words in our heads. But it's a faint noise. However, you can sometimes read without really hearing the word in your head. And so there is a spectrum between how loud or not loud the noise of a word is in our head, spectrum of duration, differences between how conscious and unconscious it is. Aware of it happening vs not aware of happening, etc. TLDR it's wishy washy and not an important concept to me.
  15. Chigau!!!! It's Akiyama Shinichi, main character from a manga called "Liar Game". He's 10 times smarter than Light Yagami. Manga is about a bunch of people who are forced to play in underground gambling tournaments for getting out of debt. All the games they play are strategic and centrally psychological in mechanics. Deception and outwitting the opponent, both IQ or EQ wise. So it has some similar things to Death Note, but better.
  16. I have no verbal answer or answer contained in thought to give. No logical or rational answer. And I doubt anyone here has one either. A hypothetical solipsistic POV: Only my direct experience exists. [Therefore other people's point of views don't exist.] Therefore I will have no morality. I have not seen this line of thought bubble in me. And I don't know why. I don't find paying attention to the fact only my experience exists as making me selfish, and I don't know why. Thoughts and theories pop into mind but they just dissolve. If you asked me why I'm good or not good, why I be or do X thing, I couldn't tell you. And that's pretty funny.
  17. @EternalForest It sounds like you want that/some high state of blissful love of everything? Not saying that that's bad or you shouldn't do that, but is that what it is? The way you said "I'd like to believe that everything is love" either sounds like crushed spirits in the aftermath of failure or the expression of a religious person having doubts that their beliefs are true. All I can say is that for myself I don't aim for love in that way. "I aim for truth and freedom." Whenever I'm healing some neurotic part of me or doing, it feels painful and sucks, it doesn't "feel good". Your post seems to centre around regret that things don't feel good, and you wish they did. Is that accurate? I say this not to degrade or mock you or that position. But to see if that's what's going on. -- I don't know who on earth gave you the idea you shouldn't dislike anything or anyone. Your feelings of hatred may enter repression and build up. Maybe reading Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton would do you good.
  18. Indeed. The "consequences" of solipsism aren't what you would typically predict with logic. I.e. Becoming "selfish" and immoral
  19. @Vibroverse I am not insulting solipsism, quite the opposite.
  20. @Preety_India yeah I'd say this feels like family to me. In the sense that this place feels natural and familiar, that I don't have to put up social guards and I can just be me. Since (like you) I've been here a while, this place very integrated in me. What I mean is that I might "take this place for granted" in the same way I take being able to brush my teeth and eat breakfast in the mornings for granted. It's near that level of ease and comfort.

  21. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    So I read the first chapter of "Letting Go" by David Hawkins, again, since I only read that much of the book a few months ago. I take it more as an invitation to be less unconscious. I encircled various sentences with pencil, ranging from key points to things I found interesting but/and "don't agree with". A lot of things I disagreed with. One of his key points was that external events perhaps don't cause negative emotion, that they are outlets for displacement, egoic justification for expressing what negative emotion we already had stored up. There were more interesting key points that I can't be bothered to type about right now. -- Whether by pure coincidence or "synchronicity", my mum walks into my room and asked me whether [alright, as I was typing this sentence I noticed my mum was free. So I stopped typing this, walked up and I talked to her to resolve the situation].....Uh okay so how should I go about writing this. So as I'm reading, my mum walks into the room and asks me to change the clean bedsheets in my room because she doesn't like the dull colours ( and they are mismatching colours) and she doesn't want the cleaners who are coming around to see it. I talk about it pretty casually/nonchalantly about how it doesn't matter, because it doesn't. Abruptly I feel conditioned fear arise as I sense she's about to slap me. She slaps me "playfully" , I slap her back and I'm pissed off, but I didn't properly communicate it. She's whatever. Slightly joyful and happy because she think she "pranked me" and I didn't expect it. But also because of some unhealthy psychology of hers, where she thinks is fun/joyful to invoke fear and control in others. She just walks out the room and conversation end. Anyway, it later "ended" with her being sorry because she thought it was innocent. But of course she didn't take it seriously and lacks the capacity to appreciate boundaries. But I wont ramble about that too much. -- I continue reading David Hawkins, finishing the chapter. Whilst I'm reading, and then afterwards for a while, I'm sitting by myself and paying attention to my feelings. I pay attention to the negative feelings which are always there, but I push into the peripheral vision of my consciousness. So there's lots of random fluctuations, flux, etc. But at some point the negative emotions grow and grow, I'm caught up in thought stories which whirl and whirl around like tornados, and the negative emotion is very strong. And I feel it as I type now still- __________ Aaaaaaaaand TLDR I feel drained from paying attention to my negative emotions. But I'm not that drained, its likely some psychological reaction and defence mechanism by my mind to not dig deeper. Recently I question and wonder whether an "unconscious" really exists. Since if something is unconscious, it's out of your experience in a sense. But. There are these emotions and things in the periphery of your current consciousness which are there but we ignore. I feel a burning desire to break the wall between me and what's alien. Someone else might phrase it as trying to "breakthrough into the unconscious".
  22. @Dunnel Do you feel worse after meditation because there's nothing, e.g. technology, which is distracting you from the negative emotion?
  23. Ah I see Also, I didn't even realise till you said it that you could hide posts lol
  24. If you want a remove a user tag on mobile, do this. Sandwich the tag between text. e.g. "Hello@lmfaoHello" , highlight all of the text and click backspace.
  25. Surprise surprise, this is about the 10th dog shit thread you've posted. Nothing you've posted here is in the least bit enlightening or informative. Just using inflammatory caricatures for the sake of justifying whatever prejudices you have.