lmfao

Doing this because I'm bored. Just gonna post various speakers and books and videos I'm listening to or find interesting. I won't ever 100% agree with anything or anyone. I'm just making a visit into the dens of these creatures (for example visiting Dr. Lobster Peterson) before bowing and exiting with whatever I've taken away. And so because of that, I see all these people you can learn from as one of many "data points" that I'm listing because I'm bored. Body Awareness Reading Zen-Body Being rn by Peter Ralston

@sleep Good question, I'm still wondering. I could get intellectual about it with past insights but none of those are true for me

@Soul_Guy The fear of low consciousness, the war of lower vs higher self, I see this pathology in myself and others sometimes and don't like it. Trying to force or imitate saintliness. I've seen it in spirituality and philosophies and haven't really made sense of it. If (key word here) there's truth to the people who say horror movies lower your vibration it would probably be erroneous to say the horror movie is causing low consciousness. More like the low consciousness parts of you are getting excited and expressing themselves from the film. Insert generic spiritual talk about horror film activating karmic potentiality already in you, etc There are many writings in the bible and other spiritual texts about the wrath of God. The fear of God. The fear of being separate from God and low consciousness. I wonder if that's all delusion.

This is a random text dump of things I've been thinking of with my health. In regards to potential food insensitivities. I'm learning recipes for things without diary and gluten. I've had meals where I feel incredibly stiff afterwards. That might happen if I eat pasta with tomato sauce + cheese. I then replaced the pasta with squash cut into spirals and put in the oven. The meal felt lighter, but I still had the same feeling afterwards. Too much cheese maybe. Obviously I will consider the physical first, but I haven't let go of the possibility this is a mental or spiritual thing as well. In this sense https://learnlettinggo.com/2014/03/04/letting-go-of-allergies/ . "What if you're just allergic to life?". But I'm also open to it being wrong, and ofc its a nuanced topic where the material, psychological and spiritual intersect I had a water distiller for free from someone who didn't want theirs, but after playing around with it for a week I decided its not for me. It was fun, but 1) distilled water doesn't suit me 2)It's too much faff and set up to be practical. I'll probably get a simple filter at some point, or one of those jugs. Something simple and implementable -- They say exercise is supposed to make you feel better, but for me it doesn't do that really. I feel good immediately afterwards. But after that, I'm tired and sleepy for the rest of the day. I'm not productive at all. And if I eat food after exercise, it's a done deal. I'm just food comatosed. I don't know what this means or what I should do. I think maybe just do low-mid intensity and stick with it. Yesterday I went for a nice long walk in the country side, today I might do something but idk. Intermittent fasting is an interesting thing. Food leaves me so comatosed that it might just be worth it. On the other hand, I don't want to feel forced into fast just because I feel tired and sick from eating. I don't know. I used to do some Ramadan fasts when I was younger. I forgot what exact year, it was 2015 or 2016 summertime, I would be fasting in Ramadan. I wouldn't drink any water during the day, but on top of that I would go to the local park and run very large laps. Running 9km (or more?) in a day in the sunshine and hot weather. Then I would drink water and eat at 21:00 for sunset . I used to run that distance back in 2015 for sure before ramadan. Could it have been 14km on those days? I'll have to calculate it again. It was 9 laps around that very large perimeter I think. Maybe 9 miles roughly. -- I can't imagine myself doing something like that anymore. What happened to my energy levels and fitness? My stamina and fitness endurance is half or third of what I was when I was 14-16, and now I'm 20 . Quite pitiful lol. Ever since then I became depressed and fatter ofc, late to hit proper puberty, with all sorts of brain, personality and interest changes. I have DPDR, and I feel very little connection to my past and my memories. But the fact that I used to have such stamina tells me how psychological/spiritual everything might be. Edit: Reflecting on it, I think I have a fracture in my personality, whether actual or imaginary/unreal. Correction, it's imaginary/unreal. I feel there is no such fracture, but that I've aged, things changed, and my mind gets lost in stories and explanations.

Wed 10/03/2021 +1 04:02 Having forced myself to overwork in maths that way I did before and used to, I encountered that intense frustration and barricade that's put me off ever doing this sort of work again. My energy of irritation and frustration is intensely high, I fell into that habit of pushing down all feeling. Resistance to letting go of frustration, fear arises. "What if I don't pass?" "What if I fail?" "What if I have to repeat a year?" " What if I drop out of university with no passion or degree?".... Maybe, but that's fine. So what if I do. Freedom means being at the level of choice, being at the level of acting on feeling and instinct. I can see these things as less than hurdles but more as optional challenges. Because when scared, ones approach becomes narrow and you're inefficient. The energy of frustration and irritation is an all-time high. Extremely concentrated, not just saying that. This is part of my energy of trauma, from all those times I overworked and overthought about math. But this is my chance to face it, now that I've remembered. My arm muscles are randomly twitching. -- Ever since I was 7 I probably made math a part of my identity. It was the only thing adults complemented me on. Then when I was 17 or 18 applying for university, I was obsessed with math during that time. I thought I was gonna become a theoretical physicist researcher for a living. Sometime after I went to uni studying theoretical physics, it all lost it's charm and magic for me. It used to be lively and bubbly, but then it became rigid and boring with little flavour. That purely autistic super left brain logical thinking grew tyrannical and became a complex. Even though I find it limiting and enslaving, I kept forcing myself to learn more and more. I voluntarily learned more and more, even though I didn't enjoy it. It was a superficial pattern or habit which derived enjoyment? I made math and physics my identity at some point, and although I verbally disavow it and to other people, the pattern is still in my mind. After typing this I now realise that what truly lies beyond the fear and irritation is a sort of sadness ( I'm crying right now). But it's a beautiful and nostalgic sadness. Maths was a big part of my life and I'll always be grateful to them....but at some point it became something else, and my brain was never really suited to it. I'm not detailed and left brained enough for that anymore. Whilst moving forward in my life I am saying good bye to you maths, I am grateful. I feel slightly regretful that this will perhaps end in sour terms as I force myself to finish this degree, but I won't forget how you shaped and helped me growing up. -- Having lost my passion for maths some time ago, I've been aimless. Engaging that old pattern of thinking is like purposely trying to de-evolve, and getting intense discomfort in the process all to achieve nothing. And I feel grief and sadness to have lost my joy there, I think.....But it all makes sense, I've never truly been a mathematician at heart. I was, but what I was always first and foremost was a philosopher at heart. The sadness it's.... sweet and wistful. Wistful is the right word. I don't know what I'm really feeling. Do I still love you? I don't know. I just remember all those lovely memories and times. I remember when I was in the zone, on fire. What am I now? Who am I now? The real reason I pushed myself to such depths of hell with overwork and misery was because I was love with that memory and wistful dream. And I cry, wishing I could relieve and get those times back once more...No it wasn't the fact that it was math alone which defines that beauty and joy. It was the music I would listen to, anime, impressions and emotions I got from that as well. Do I still love you? Yes, but all changes. That part of me which clings and clings, its time to pioneer and enter new lands. But I am nostalgic and probably always will be, and thats perfect and okay. NB: A part of me is nostalgic and broods on emotions, feelings and impressions deeply. And I think that's what it means to be in love with myself. When I use the word "brooding": letting an emotion or impression swirl around in me, cook and soak in. Just sitting on it, appreciating it and engaging it. By brooding I often mean the stillness of trying to get more abstracted/psychic, but sometimes its better to be the dynamism and divergence of a sprouting sapling which expands with power I was talking to my old high school friend. I told me recently that when we were both 13/14, he thought that at I would have studied something like psychology at university, until my obsession with math/physics became apparent later on. The thought never crossed my mind about psychology, but its funny looking back to realise how right he was (He's an INFJ).

There is the fear of low consciousness. I fear that I must "let go and surrender" a thought otherwise I will suffer. I fear I must not identify with what I think for then I will be lost. This is my response to people like David Hawkins or simplistic optimists. Perhaps that hypocrisy is the birth of "satanism". "The delicate balance of left and right". This is an extension of listening to and believing what other people have to say about truth. Forever the end is near. I wasted it all. Fermentry be damned. Silly Sybil sold slaves. I need a gibberish text dump. The battle to be fought won't be at the level at which there is this level of writing. Doesn't mean this level won't be present. Inseparable and undistinguishable are the words and the awareness that holds them. Framings, contexts, those are always in motion dynamics. -- My nose won't stop being runny and my throat hurts, maybe I have covid or just flu. Jesus fucking christ it just keeps coming. Paleontologist Ross Geller vs Phoebe debating evolution sums up pretty well the essence of much conflict and argument. Phoebe points out Ross as emotionally immature and unable to accept and let someone else be. Phoebe can respect Ross but not vice versa. Be like Phoebe ( ignoring plot developments in the same episode which show Phoebe being dumb) -- Always still including this level, expressions of intention are here. But here does not contain intention and space for the reason stated above. Time to sleep this flu is killing me

I recently started to look at this issue of friendship and loneliness in a more meta way. My attempts to make friends or be social involve me putting on a persona, being more rigid, inauthentic and meeker. More simply put, all that's acting is pure habit and automatic memory when I'm with a group of people or with people. Being slightly more conscious, I loosen up, become a bit less neurotic, more quiet and I kinda lose the desire to hang around the other person/people since I get bored. -- So I was with a group of friends. My perception is that they had their flow/play going, and there was no room or space for me to talk and enter. When all the time intervals are taken up, what do I do to enter? I found myself forcefully interrupting a few times, I was listening and talking. But what was all the listening and talking for? I was talking and hanging around, out of compulsion and habit. So all these people are talking, and I wanted to talk to them. But they were all talking to each other. BUT, I really don't have or feel like there was anything interesting to talk about when I was talking! ? So what's going on? Why do I have these contradictions, and act on these patterns? I don't think they're on the wavelength of how I enjoy or talk about things either. -- Maybe it was just a matter of the pieces not energetically fitting together in the moment. "So in that case maybe there can be a place of a friendship, but this very attitude of seeking something beyond what's now is the problem". Either way, I'm strongly open to the idea that my need or desire for friendship is just a belief and habit now. At the very least, what's true isn't what I've been doing so far. "I already knew this", but now I feel I know it with less insecurity, and so often these insights fall into either "overlooked obvious" or vague non-surfaced concepts. Next step is actual inquiry or observation following a superficial glance.

@LfcCharlie4 Yeah it's a tricky balance for now I suppose, since I can't figure out what I want. It might sound like some sort of edgy and emo "Who needs people?". And while it is that to an extent, it's also me seeing beliefs/habits I adopted which don't make me happy. Or motivations/habits with apparent contradictions. Where I find I way to be unhappy whichever case. So truth is still unknown Right Thanks man ?. I like that framing

@modmyth No clue, sure as hell hope I don't. Too much paranoia and theatre, not that theatre isn't fine in small doses

I'm not a music creator, so I'm not in the same situation. But I'm always blasting or letting music play in the background. Or sometimes I just give my attention to listening. Maybe it's a bit bad if always desire this background stimulation and vibe and can't just chill in silence. As I type this message, I have this vibe playing. On a playlist of MF DOOM instrumentals. Other times I'd be listening to anime or japanese music For my case, the "solution" to whatever my thing is doesn't rely in trying to fight against music. More so in learning to appreciate silence and ordinary being without stimulation.

@Meta-Man That summarises it well @Origins Don't worry, I've got just the idea for a similar experiment. It's something I've been putting off for a week now. I'll have to see how intense or hard or how much I resist it. After I do this tonight, there may be other more difficult things I resist to in the future which serve as better training. Very important thing you talked about, not confusing the resistance for you. Because that's what it comes down to in large part, it really does.

Unless you're highly spiritual or some sort of Buddha, there might be some truth to that. But I see no reason to believe it. Nonetheless, some gratitude for the benefits of living in (post-)industrial societies.

Saturday 06/03/2021 +1 05:18 I had the most odd occurrence for me. I was just watching porn and masturbating when for no reason I consciously sense, I'm crying a bit. Just a downpour from my left eye. I didn't feel much, I'm just like wondering why I was crying. Maybe I had slight tinges of sadness, and it just expressed itself rather than building up? After the session or mid way though, i stopped tearing up. My gut is telling me that it meant something. Perhaps as the sadness was arising and bubbling in my experience, it instantly became crying. And usually I have to feel a lot more sad before I cry. Either way, I have no clue. Maybe my crying was my suppressed shame? Or was it tears of forgiveness for myself? Either way, it feels in rhythm with something important. -- Another thing to reflect on is food today. I was starving. I put some fish in the oven. As the fish is in the oven, my hunger disappears and I could have comfortably gone to sleep.... I force myself to eat it since it was already cooking. Why did my hunger disappear? I'm not complaining, it's good, but how can I distinguish real from false hunger then. -- Ofc the other thing to remember to reflect upon is friendship, and the thread I made. Then through that brief detour I will go onto something else. Still a floating nothing. I will do more handwriting inquiry tomorrow as well. Now I'm just knocked out, gn

Thursday 04/03/2021 +1 00:31 My mind is overflowing with thoughts that no one can satisfy. But if this is where I belong, I won't be satisfied. None of this is good enough, surely. Surely? What would good enough even mean is the question? Death is the only certainty, meaninglessness undeniable. The Mind's inherent state is silence, and thought is just....I don't know. From how and why does it arise? THE MOMENT YOU LOOK AT IT, IT'S GONE. What does that make it? This may be suppression with extra steps, but I for brief moments I feel like you can "choose" not to think? Okay so one specific thing I meant by that is that certain thoughts and sentences come to mind, but the moment they spring up, they evaporate and no longer feel apt or necessary to express. it's like seeing things in their inception, but doing it at the very level from which I can type this sentences and logic is to be in thought in that way. I feel my progress too slow. This just isn't good enough. More sentences came to mind to type but silence feels better. Digital writing might not be best format. Hand feels better. Will see

@Hero in progress I think it's probably all quite inhumane. What is humane will cost more, and that's the problem. Material conditions are a bitch. All my life I've grown up drinking milk. My mom forced me to drink it all the time when I was younger, and I love it. I probably won't give it up. Maybe I'll discover that diary fucks with my health whenever I get around to elimination diets. Coconut and almond milk are tasty but they aren't milk. It's creamy water.

@Someone here Good thread here, I'll steal some of what @Michael569 said in regards to the physical aspect of this. Just buying chamomile tea and valerian root. I realised today after eating some shit food that my anxiety suddenly got a lot worse. One random thing I'll add in regards to relaxing at nighttime or whenever is smothering vaporub on your chest, neck, and back. I've taken Xanax before on rare occasion in small doses to sleep before, I stopped that. Nothing can match the effectiveness of that easy drug, but this works well. Of course that still leaves the psychological and spiritual. And there will be different sides to this. I'm not one to talk in this regard since I'm still working on it. Obviously you didn't write much about what specific things you feel or are dealing. One thing which is very crazy to see and understand about anxiety is how perspective is everything. I might have my heart racing in a situation, but someone else is completely relaxed, and the two people in the situation are living in different worlds. If you have a very loud mind with lots of internal conflict, its amazing to realise how much doesn't actually exist in the real world.

Thu 04/03/2021, 17:40 I feel good and happy about dealing with my situation and talking to R the way I did. I feel the emotions and feelings being more subtle and diffuse now. The anxiety is right now less intense, diffuse and has a slight tinge of sweetness to it. In the aftermath of a stressful situation, a state of calmness is present, with a tinge of tiredness as you recover. Not a miserable tiredness, a content one. Recovery of your muscles after going to the gym. Unlearning fear, that is the thing to do. I'm more fearful and anxious than the average person, and will aim to reach heights that makes any person scared and afraid. Those who are oddities will be forced to sink to the bottom or elevate higher. Still on 1st enemy

Wed 03/03/2021 + 1 05:53 Every time I have refused to look fear in the eyes and act what I'm feeling in the moment, an exponential burden is payed. How much longer must I dither before I learn to not become paralysed, and not lower my gaze? I guess this is the learning, getting into all sorts of conflicts, becoming triggered. Anyway, I did what I should have done, but my perfectionist brain says "Should I go back and do it right?"...But I think this is unnecessary thought. I am making a separate entry rather than editing the previous one so that when looking back I really reflect and absorb this, if I forget. That there is a price every time I have submitted to fear, since I stay in a limbo and torture myself between doing the needed thing versus hiding. Gone are the times I can just hide, I will keep beating and torturing myself until I do the needed thing. Maybe I just have to surrender, have faith, in my gut and the actions it wants to do? Doubting them, suppressing them and contorting is the real problem. I hate this feeling that my negative karma never ends. My heart is thumping from anxiety and fear, I know what I have to do.....Just let go and stop resisting

Wed 03/03/2021 15:35 I can take back control I hesitate to say "I am feeling tired, zoned/dazed out, zombie state [dopamine zombie]" for (fear?)/(caution?) of not identifying in a way which is illusion. But that is how I am feeling. The more romantic, theatrical, poetic, side of me says "It's like my vitality and colour has been drained of me, and I'm left bathing in bleak, barren, desolate and empty consciousness.". One of the core fears or problems is the feeling "I've lost a part of me which will never return" . Going together with all of this DPDR business. I feel confused about what "I" am, and my baseline consciousness is one of being dazed and confused, in this barren wasteland. -- An underlying energy to my consciousness...seek seek seek, get get get. I'm acting out a palpable program, and in seeing myself act like this programmed drug/dopamine/(whatever it is) addict, I feel out of control, and I don't know what "I" am since I feel like I'm watching a movie or robot act instead of me. It is inexorably confusing and scary. -- These fragments of memory, my past, identity and perception. I feel so disconnected from it all, I'm scared and lost! But what if my only problem was getting concerned and scared? That's a very real thing to open up to. I hate this, I hate this I hate this.....I don't know what I will do Somehow I shall dive head first into expanding and discovering? Maybe? (And I obviously said "head first" for the sentiment of no fragmentation within simple I. Whatever you do you do ) Okay so 'first thing' might be not getting anxious or overwhelmed from simply acknowledging and looking at the problem. Getting used to mental fear and feeling unsettled. So later today, there's an online Smash Bros tournament that my universities' gaming society is doing. I said to myself and the people there "Yes I'll play I'm looking forward to it" . I don't basically don't play Smash Bros at all anymore, but my muscle memory means I quickly return to my baseline skill and I can body some frauds/noobs. I can probably get 2nd or 3rd even though I don't practice. Now that isn't the point. Sometimes I've felt my dissociation worse from playing video games, and I just feel repulsion from Smash Bros. It's a similar sort of repulsion I feel to mathematics and physics now. Fuck it, I'll just play and maybe examine my fears as I do it. I can't say much otherwise apart from that " I'll look" because my mind is such in this confused bleak state that any other words are meaningless or add confusion. Okay before that I'll go run and eat food, , quickly just say fuck it and do a mediocre job or making notes and pseudo understand of chapter 1 Dirac's Lectures of Quantum Mechanics for my uni project. Then after playing Smash Bros. I need to update my e-diary with bullshit. Then after that draw a mini mind map for Lagrangian, Hamiltonian and Dirac shit or just whatever. Maybe I need to read up on pure math theory about calculus of variations but honestly I could give less of a shit, but in the long term it's probably good if I just say fuck it and do it.

Venting out my feelings that I keep unconscious, but now it's possessing me after reaching a boiling point I can't ignore -- I hate everyone but I hate myself more. By the mercy of a few threads of human connection I haven't gone full blown psycho or dysfunctional. I hate yet also envy everyone. Should the dominos arranged slightly differently when I was younger, I hate to imagine what I would have become . A lost case psychologically with the mindset of a school shooter or whatever else. Who am I kidding, I probably already have that mindset. I've never actually gotten close to being that or acting that out, but I'm illustrating the depth of my anger and bitterness by saying it. That my mind has gone to those places before. -- I don't know if it will ever possible for me to make friends or feel deep connection. Nothing will make you lose your trust quicker than fake friends, or trying to force together jigsaw pieces that will never fit. I've lost my trust in my family, lost my trust in just about every friend I've ever had. A complete and utter disappointment in everything and everyone I see. A pain it is to watch your trust be slowly nibbled away at by rats, to have the spirit starved and trampled on. I have lost almost all hope in the prospect of friendship or sexual relationship otherwise. My natural personality and temperament was destined to to clash with the norm and my upbringing, and compound that with a whole host of neurosis and complexes. I have been an outcast among my peers as far as being 4. What hope is there? Deep sadness. Waves of grief and anger, as one morphs into the other. I've often felt the only thing I've gotten from my trauma is selfishness and aggression. But I can see it's a lie, a sham, a fabrication, and it's more fragile than anything else. But it doesn't matter, that's what I currently feel and so that's what I'll be. "The only thing I know right now is pure rage. I can only have faith in myself. Myself, myself, myself and myself alone. I have no other option, I cannot afford any other option. Or am I too cowardly to admit there's another option?" - I typed this, but the rage dissolved into sadness and then something else I don't know. Jesus Christ I fucking hate everything, maybe I need to go running or weightlifting to clear my mind -- This is my story. I'll finish it, no matter the result

@The0Self Did you feel any benefit from doing the heavy metal detox?

Sat 27/02/2021 23:31 It is simply a fact that you can't experience another person's POV...That applies to humans as well as all animals, organisms and potential AI in the future. Does that make selfishness the default, by definition? Is selfishness relative? What is the meaning of helping or aiding another then? I find it baffling. What am I to make of relationship, "social", friends, loved ones, community, selflessness, sacrifice? ___ I look at my father for example. He sacrificed himself, and continually sacrifices himself, in a large sense. He landed in an unfamiliar new country with no money or assets of any kind, with an emotionally abusive and manipulative wife from an arranged marriage. Day in and day out he put up with a paranoid, jealous, money obsessed wife, whilst trying to juggle duties to work and family. Whilst looking after his kids, he also still supported his relatives living in his home country. He would visit Pakistan on occasion, and payed/organised the construction of a house so that his parents would be fine in the long term. And who knows how much money he's sent to help his siblings. But for 30 years he put up with a crazy, narrow minded woman. He probably should have divorced, he says it himself, but with his culture and having young kids he forced himself to stay in it. And he's a workaholic, and was basically doing the equivalent of 2 full-time jobs at once. He ended up getting into real estate and properties, buying and renovating multiple properties to rent and later sell. He is into properties for two reasons, 1) He finds it fun and noticed a way to earn money this way 2) He wants to leave something behind for his multiple kids, including me. He's a very selfless and caring person, even though he's very strongly traditional masculine, solid stage blue with islamic values, and I've felt myself trapped by those beliefs and culture he passes on. But, he is relatively flexible and a good listener who is empathic. He is a psychiatrist after all. We just come from two different worlds in culture and personality. He's 45 years older than me, raised in a different culture completely. And so it is I can forgive him for various things in the past, and communication barriers. --- Okay so why did I write this all out? Well, it's just that I find what he does and what motivates him so alien and strange to me. Whilst I am ofc grateful and love him, I can't help but be baffled, bewildered and nihilistic. What was he working hard for, and why? What is the human game everyone is playing? Why so much grinding, hard work, concern for money, unnecessarily large amount of sacrifice to support so many people? Where is in the individual in any of this? He has a strong faith in Allah and Islam (he is tolerant to other religions). He is concerned about the afterlife. In Islam there is the belief that the "Day of Judgement" will come. God will resurrect the dead, and everyone will talk to God, as God interrogates you or congratulates you for every bad or good deed you did. So my father says "I don't want God to ask me why I didn't do this" (on the day of judgement), and he's deadpan serious in believing this. And ofc I find it slightly concerning that someone literally believes this all. I could give throw away "explanations" which don't remove the source of my bewilderment ."Oh, his MBTI type is some sort of xSxJ type, they have a different motivation structure. He's just not an intuitive. He's an old man who was raised in Pakistan.". But these words don't do anything for me. _____ What was the meaning of anything he did? What's the meaning of anything I do? I just don't get it. I'm just also wondering what on earth it means to care about someone, what sacrifice and selflessness means. I feel too much pressure, too much irritation, too little space to be and to be myself. Fuck people, I live for myself and myself alone. I will brood on all this energy I feel, go meditate on it, focus on it, with every fibre of my being. "The humiliation of captivity is the beginning of the counterattack" Listening to this puts my mind at ease, just very relaxing and focusing. It's one of the songs/impressions I replay in my mind deliberately if I'm trying to hypnotise myself with a certain image

@Arian You can argue and discuss truth. But, whether the talks brings you or the other person closer to truth is variable. You can get different things from a talk. Sometimes you can plant a seed that someone else has the option to water, get ideas for something to try, get practical advice and solutions. There are fun ways of dialogue I think, the way greek philosophers had, or dialogues where you try to reveal and make the shadow conscious. None of these things will be like meditation though ( haven't tried psychedelics), or even like intense self inquiry and contemplation. Because contemplation and self inquiry only works and makes the most progress when done individually

I can get a water distiller from someone who doesn't use theirs. I hear some people say distilled water is bad for you. Some claim that without there being minerals in the water, it will leech minerals from your body. I don't believe it's bad, I'm wondering if it can actually be used to detox harmful things from the body. If it can be used to detox, are there any conditions to it? Whether there are any conditions of what you can eat or drink ( i.e. You drink 0 tap water, you do intermittent fasting, etc...) ?

@Tim R I'm a bit impatient and adhd brained. On some videos I might speed up the video for a short while when Leo is explaining and repeating something in an accessible way to all normies listening, and then later on I slow it down when I want to reflect as I'm listening. The benefit of not speeding up the video though is that you get to reflect and make actual connections in your mind in real time as the video is playing.