lmfao

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Everything posted by lmfao

  1. Oh I do, you don't need to worry about that. She's a joker and so I'm a joker as well with her. Interesting. No, you aren't being silly. Honestly, I don't know much about the upbringing of my aunty or my cousin who had psychosis. I ask my mum about her own upbringing but she doesn't say or remember many details. So my aunty (who's now dead) and her alive son had psychosis (he's better now more or less). I also have an uncle from the same side of my family who isn't psychotic, but like he's extremely religious with strange/severe practices. He's probably moderately bipolar. But because he lives in Asia and not the west, people respect religion and people like that more there, so he has a functioning life. But back to this topic of psychedelics. I might not take psychedelics for a while, and even then I'd be careful. I have dpdr issues, and an already tentative/floaty perception of self, I don't want to screw with it more. That said. For some strange reason I get the hunch I'll need large doses to get the same effect as other people, but that's just a random thing my mind is making up. I have no evidence or reason to think so.
  2. @GreenLight Stick to your guns and the fundamentals. The work might be in unlearning everything people tell you, here included
  3. This might be a false memory, but I feel like shinzen might have been addicted to weed. Not sure
  4. I think this holds for all sorts of domains, not just spirituality. Just because someone is a genuine expert doesn't mean they'll be a good teacher. People can only talk in the framing which worked for them personally. The world is a hologram, everyone "projects" and judges when they talk. Same goes for any enlightenment teacher when they talk, it's no different.
  5. @Matt23 I read a post somewhere on this forum about this "jumper" thing. Whether it's true or not I don't know. But I just wanted to say that what's been described as jumping just sounds like an unhealthy 1st and 3rd function loop from what I know. Like I know that for myself as INTP, I get stagnated by Si if I'm careful. I'm not every INTP though.
  6. @Carl-Richard that too lmao
  7. You're in an intense and personal place rn. I have nothing much to say other than, I hope your process here goes well for you. My latest contemplative/meditative "insight" is that "surrender" is the same thing as "not-knowing". Upon seeing your experience with complete honesty and truthfulness, you see that you create all sorts of words, labels, concepts, narratives to experience. But the truth of the matter is, we don't know anything. To admit and be aware that you don't know is to surrender your beliefs, opinions, narratives and positionalities. Our not-knowing is the ground for humility and surrender. And so you surrender, taking the leap in faith.
  8. Only SAD(h) Gurus do that -- To @4201 or anyone else concerned about Leo saying spirituality is mostly genetic, I'd say ignore it. You don't have to believe it. I read what Leo says, maybe I feel a little blue, but it's a fleeting thought and is no different to generalised regret of "oh why wasn't I born like this". And the millions of other regrets we can have. We're all on our own intense life paths anyway, so what other people say shouldn't matter. You are you, and that's that. If there is something to takeaway though, it's that health and chemistry is important. I mean if your health is bad/unoptimised then surely it's only good news when you hear someone say your results in anything (e. G. Spirituality) can only get better if you improve it.
  9. @Vrubel I have the same pattern of hiding or lying about my interest in it sometimes. Maybe nowadays not so much. Something I'm reminded of from this question. So my mum, she's Muslim. She knows I'm not Muslim, and but she wants me to be Muslim. She only occasionally brings it up, but it's still annoying. Thankfully she isn't too pushy about it. She's usually quite jokey but also serious at the same time. Whimsically serious. Anyway. Problem I've found with her, and many people, is that they don't have the capacity to understand the nuance of the spiritual path you're on. Too many people are only familiar with dogmatic and conceptual spirituality. A private inquiry or investigation into truth isn't well understood. She asks me shit like "So what are you? [she's asking what religion I follow] You are nothing?!", it just makes me laugh and I say yes. Perhaps it is in some ways a blessing she doesn't know words like atheist or agnostic to conceptually guess what I am, and instead just says "nothing". And that's accurate Although there's a language and intellectual barrier with me trying to talk to her, I don't think that makes a difference to people in general not getting it. They'll only get it if they're familiar with the domain. I don't take psychedelics, but if I did.... Lmao yeah you can guess my family wouldn't understand that. On top of that, I have a family history of psychosis, so they'd be worried about me developing that. Maybe my siblings could understand.
  10. @Eren Eeager Well with suffering, my personal opinion from experience has been that suffering greatly forces change.Humans are stubborn, it usually takes something severe to re-evaluate things fundamentally. To your number 3 I don't have anything to add, it feels very brutal to me. I'm reminded of Buddhas "Life is dhukka" statement. I'll say be careful about using your mind and intellect to identify yourself with God. I've had the thoughts "I'm God" when in egoic consciousness. Then it's just a fickle belief the ego has, yielding so humorously and pathetically quickly to even the faintest of winds. From our human POV, perhaps our duty is one of "surrendering to God". Surrender is identical to state of "not-knowing". We don't know anything and so we surrender. Images and concepts become like tumours in my mind, and so I caution others of the same thing, since I project. 4) I don't know. Me personally, my mood and experience is filled with a lot of ups and downs right now. For example. I was in the pits of shame and despair only yesterday, then only a few hours later I was calm and tranquil. I cried it out. After my mental breakdown, I felt positively dark and energetic parts of me come to surface -- I was feeling blue this morning, but then I looked outside my window and saw some squirrels. It just filled me with awe and wonder watching them move. Scavenging, eating, running on trees. And so it is I think, maybe that squirrel alone is enough to justify existence.
  11. I was saying I don't see at all why you were framing it as an issue of "human level". All I saw was a question and discussion. He asked about God and Karma, that's all. In my response to you however, I was entertaining and being diplomatic to your framing and language, even though I don't see its helpfulness or accuracy. I elaborated a bit on the framing not resonating to me. I said it seems like he already made up his mind, but not to antagonise. Just me commenting on how repetitive and non-engaged he seemed to me. I would use such supposedly charged language in questioning myself or anyone. I'm not gonna stick firmly or argue about this judgement though, it's just what it seemed. You can read the first posts I made in this topic and see if I engaged well. I now see though what your issue is, its this broader thing of people just parroting absolute truths without actually engaging with or paying attention to the person that they're talking to. Ofc my agenda/POV will be that you're projecting that concern or contention against me without basis. I'm not ramming anything. But I am being a m̶a̶s̶s̶i̶v̶e̶ small bit prickly and defensive eh. But I don't like coming across or being so serious though lmao. I was aggressive though as well there, sorry about that.
  12. Empty stomach. But if you're OG you can meditate whatever state
  13. Oh yeah. And need it be said that it would only be described as identical, in some framework, with what is known or has been observed so far. We'll never know if there are more materialistic layers to the universe we can't see or see the effects of. "You don't know what you don't know, you know?". lmao
  14. @Holygrail Im not sure but, I think the current theory goes that all protons and electrons are "identical"[hydrogen=proton +electron]. But, not all protons and electrons will be in the same state. You can prep these things in different states. There's also quantum mechanics which hides this all. In science, you only talk about things as far as you can measure and observe. We can observe that certain probability distributions and uncertainties in a characteristic exist (e.g. Uncertainty in position or velocity, heisenberg principle). There is the "quantum state" of a system, which gives this probability distribution information. Two objects can have the same quantum state, but they are only the same in the language and definitions we are using. So it's circular logic in that respect, how we describe two things as different or identical. We don't know if they are actually the same. Maybe scientists can't speculate what lies beyond the "quantum state", since the whole theory itself is the formalisation of the limits of empirical observation. [ It being "limited" in contrast to ideals people had involving determinism and absolute knowledge]

  15. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Tuesday 13/04/2020 21:48 Well, did some breath meditation past 2 days. Not today yet. To re-iterate for the 7th time, there is the distinction between something and my impression/image of it. My image of the breath isn't the breath. Iconoclastic tendencies. There is the faint impression I have of everything in the world kind of floating in suspension. I am in some "needy" state. Previously described as being like a "zombie". But I'm not sure what I'm judging there. My experience feels so bland and empty. Is what I'm calling feeling empty, feeling empty? The role, mediation, flimsiness of language is so confusing. What is semantic, what is not semantic? I'm experience this phenomena again where my mind (habitually?) wants to move in a particular direction in a particular moment, but it feels off and not right. It makes me thinking and the words which I want to use come slower. In that particular instance of investigation, worrying about semantics was nothing but a distraction. And tangents like that happen all the time, probably that pattern repeating itself 100's of times over in short time span, but this time I'm writing it out. _____ I have this pool of anxiety, worry and fear right now. But I'm still masking it with avoidance and subtle denial. And distraction. Scared to smash open this bottle. My health and energy levels are shit, which I find multiplicatively more concerning in light of how much piled up university work I now have: •••7000 report on dynamics of classical and quantum constrained systems. I still have to finish some of chapter 1 of Dirac, then finish chapter 2. But to understand this all will be a pain. So much extra reading and scavenging. And the mathematics will be a fucking pain in the ass to understand, quantisation of surfaces, quantising the photon field with all of the Hamiltonian garbage, weak equality fucking bullshit. - What fucking integral bullshit is being added to consider an infinite-dimensional function being minimised, I just fucking can't be bothered. Who knows what fucking magic trick with matrixes is gonna be pulled out of my their ass in this theory. Still need to recap infinitesimal canonical transforms. Who knows how much background reading I'll have to do to understand everything.... •• 50 weeks of content from single modules....And more will be added soon enough at a rate of 4 (because 4 modules) per week after easter over. I have 40 days to catch up on everything before exams. Which means I need to get started at a rate of 2 weeks per day at the very least, and soon. More realistically, I'll enter crunch time with this project then crunch time with my studying So that's that I guess.... Today I'll get my head down and work on the project. My ideal image is that I would have a diet of just meditation and working, but that would be so exhausting and unrealistic it seems. My mum walked in with green juice. I don't need to pre-occupy myself with eating then tonight. Huh, why does taste stinging. She added black pepper, tastes like fruit chaat, smh my head. Time to clutter my desk with papers, pens, pencils, and enter crazy hobo looking hermit mode. Maybe practicing body and breath awareness whenever I remember. But basically, I know I have to turn up now, it's crunch time.
  16. I get bored when I see or hear about MMA, even though it sounds cool in theory. One reason I dislike it might be because it isn't the ideal I envision for martial arts and fighting. In these fictional martial art movies and films, you always see the characters doing these techniques and movements with elegance. And you have the reference to some Taoist shit or something. References to Chinese martial arts, etc. In MMA and boxing, it just looks like a bunch of chimps battering each other senselessly. But if that's the truth about what's effective in real fighting, who am I to argue. But I don't think MMA is necessarily what "real fighting" would look like either, since even MMA has rules. Rules which ban techniques or certain kinds of attacks, for the sake of things not becoming even more dangerous and bloody. @Regan There will always be joy in sparring, duelling and fighting. "Rough and tumble play" , but ofc we enter this danger and more extreme element now with some of these sports or activities. It's a good question tbh, idk. There are different kinds of fighting, that's a fact for sure. There is non-playful fighting ofc, which we call violence. At its most extreme, "fighting" is about destroying the other person whatever means necessary. People using guns to kill people. Or maybe in countries where people don't have guns, knives instead. I think it's a shame the world is the way it is. You can't risk trying to get into a fair fight with a person you've just met and have beef with, there's a chance they'll use a weapon and turn it lethal. The only time for fair fighting seems to be when you're in school with other kids your age who you know. I pity people who never got into school fights, I wish I got into even more.
  17. @Hulia What's an astral date? Is that you and another guy/girl astral projecting?
  18. Not very obvious to me he's asking from a "human level" or "relative POV". This dude is asking about karma and God, and making absolutist claims on these things. He's already made up his mind about the nature of reality, that God exists, and then that he's punishing us. I couldn't care less if every person here likes the word God, I'll challenge it if I think it's bullshit. What are we supposed to do, not get him to question himself? To just agree with his assumptions and framing? Does that do anyone favours? The basic thing is just that if anyone wants answers they'll have to be willing to open up and investigate. If you wish to use this language, he's talking about "relative" and "absolute" truth at the same time in what he's saying. I prefer to just say he's just asking about truth. The label "human level" is a distraction here (especially because he's talking about "God"), it's just about truth.
  19. @Hardkill Yeah you're talking a lot of straight up facts rn. I wouldn't know about the civil war aspect though, (perhaps wrongfully?) I usually dismiss people who are very worried about a civil war as being schizos. Because I think about Tim Pool when I hear that. But how do I know it wouldn't happen.
  20. @wwhy Well, he also said: Sounds like a fear + some imagining and assuming to not acknowledge the questioning of your POV.

  21. MBTI Examples Mega-Thread

    lmfao replied to Carl-Richard's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    @Carl-Richard Ah right I see. And yeah, definitely a lot of similarity in INTP vs INFP. Some of my best friends have been INFP, so I know the differences are there albeit lots of similarity. They have a slightly different kind of individuality, and disdain for authority. With enneagram, each type is often described with what core fear it has. So the model lends itself to formulating self-improvement more easily imo. In regards to facing and confronting that fear. Also with enneagram, each type has a "stress point" ( A type they act like when stressed) and a "relaxed point" (A type they act like when evolved/relaxed). For type 5, the stress point and relaxed point types ( unhealthy type 7 and healthy 8 respectively) perfectly describe me. Other than that, I don't know much about enneagram. Just those brief things.

  22. MBTI Examples Mega-Thread

    lmfao replied to Carl-Richard's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    @Carl-Richard You? INFP? Lmao. I wouldn't have guessed that from your posts. But I guess INTP and INFP do have some similarity. What's your enneagram? Type 5? Both INFP and INTP can be that type I remember there was a brief period of time I thought I was INFP, but that was just me discovering more aspects about myself.
  23. @Hardkill Is the bipartisanship you desire one in which people don't question or oppose the status quo? I'm not saying polarisation isn't a problem, just throwing the ball in your court to consider something.

  24. MBTI Examples Mega-Thread

    lmfao replied to Carl-Richard's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    Hm, I guessed Chomsky as INFJ from vibes. I didn't get INTP vibes. Not that this is an argument, just usually how I type people. However I am not familiar with Chomsky. I saw you guys mentioned Chomsky, and I randomly remembered this which I watched once. 04:13 he references a debate between Foucalt and Chomsky, and a minute later into the video 05:23 he talks about Chomsky. Probably just watch the video from the beginning to understand his formulation of Ne vs Ni. This dude was the only MBTI channel I needed.
  25. @Leo Gura Leo, what are all those plants in the background of your blog videos now? Like do you have some indoor garden or something?