lmfao

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Everything posted by lmfao

  1. @Ry4n Have you watched Neon Genesis Evangelion by any chance? My friend gave me a fun interpretation of the End of Evangelion film, if you've seen it.
  2. @Derek White Maybe it's better to not always be obsessed with SD as a hierarchy, and more as a tapestry of different forms and forces. Also, all the tier 1 stages are tier 1. Of course there's still meaning to the order they're arranged, but just contextualise it right. A hierarchy as a mathematically abstract object is just a plain old sequence, a string, it's meaningless. It's up to us how we contextualise it and give it meaning. Alternatively, you could just throw the whole thing away. It's all about what your goal is, and whether the model is helpful for that
  3. @ardacigin Thanks for the posts!! I usually just practice my concentration, so I'll see if this ever works or helps
  4. https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof91cgju/page/n15/mode/2up Pages 3-16 (numbers in scanned book rather than in toolbar UI) are really good here. Jung basically talks about why symbols, religions, primitive tribal lore and mythology exists in the first place. The basic premise of what projection is. Religious formulae, symbols and algorithms designed to channel people's experience of the transcendent. They are intended to represent and explain the power of the divine for people, whilst also protecting them from the dangers of direct contact with the unconscious without tradition/symbols. He references the stories of christians mystics who had deeply intimate contact with the unconscious, and almost went mad. But they used dogma to regain their sanity. But the symbols are polished smooth of anything tangible, elaborated on too much, people don't have the actuality of them. Everyone experiences the unconscious in their own way, but these symbols seek to encompass and standardise all. In trying to encompass all, it becomes vague and meaningless, no actuality. Christian symbols losing their meaning for people, the same way The Gods of Rome and Greece also lost their meaning for people. Protestants enacted a form of iconoclasm but are in the same dilemmas nonetheless. Meanwhile the east has plenty of unexhausted mana to the western mind Are we better off avowing our poverty of symbols, or begging another culture for theirs, only to grow disillusioned of those too?
  5. @Derek White What do you expect of retarded woke youtubers though? You saw how many dislikes Youtube Rewind got, how out of touch that side can be. There's no limit to the amount of stupid things you'll find lefties and conservatives saying on social media. So then referencing X or Y figure to dismiss one side or the other side is a bit moot. You have to "steelman" the other side and understand them, even if they're shit at explaining themselves.
  6. @SamC Supposing that you even wish to use this framework of SD for your growth, I think you're better forgetting about politics if it leads to confusion for you. Politics is messy with collectives, different groups, perceiving threats to yourself, vague and meaningless generalisations. Perhaps better flushed down a toilet? Past all the minutia of what you've said, my gut is this. You're not being direct about your problems, you're dancing around something instead. Bending over backwards in self doubt. Dithering fool. And I know so because I do the same thing.
  7. @SQAAD There's a quote in Ralston's book which I remembered recently -Don John Chapman The things we take for granted and don't wonder about.
  8. @ardacigin Interesting post. I can have attention on something but it's narrow and I don't have awareness of other things. Your watching the movie Inception example. Not sure I myself grasp what is attention as opposed to awareness, but I can try to get something from this anyway. As a solution to this "Awareness Deficit Disorder", are you saying that working on attention and having a stable attention will naturally lead to awareness? I'm not trying to push you into an uncomfortable framing. Respond or answer me how you wish.

  9. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Friday 30/04/2021 +1 02:53 Just do this from the comfort of bed, no paper. What would becoming directly conscious or figuring out these different things mean? I was feeling cold in my room, so I tried paying attention to it. I took off my shirt to make myself colder. I was in physical pain and tension, that was my cue to porn. My physical pain was what I could tell was driving me. I perhaps could have stopped myself, but I went through it anyway because I wanted the pain to go. So I used it as a pain killer for my body aching. My libido wasn't large, I just wanted to alleviate the pain. But after doing it, I honestly didn't feel much different. But some body aches did alleviate for sure. Some particular thing which I can't verbalise got tired from it though. "What's the alternative? Are you just supposed to sit through the pain and suffer?" Well. That's true except for the word "just" there. It would be paying attention to my experience. I'm still figuring this all out. What's the point or where would direct conscious even lead to? "As far as I can tell there's only the task in front of you. Do that a million times and then you drop dead". However there's some added charge/connotation. So what's the approach to take to my various addictions then? Been a while since I did openness. I have no plan. Is that a mistake? I can't predict what will be discovered. I'm kinda mellowed out rn and tired with not much content to inquire. Thirsty though and tense. I feel intensely bored. Will I be able to sleep right now? No. Work? No, can't look at computer screen for too much longer, hurting eyes. Perhaps I will just lie down, with nothing to do but fantasise and laze. Maybe I can just pay attention to my body, relax as if I was floating hypnotically. Maybe I'll sleep then.
  10. @diamondpenguin Assuming you mean ego death here? Hmmm, only person I've heard of talk about dying before you die is David Hawkins. He calls it "The Final Doorway", apparently it's surrendering the ego completely, in some way. I wouldn't know if its true. I think Jed Mckenna also uses that sort of phrasing regards to your false self dying. Maybe bring up your greatest fears and confront/surrender them. I've fiddled around with visualising that I'm about the physically die, and then feeling that fear. I wasn't successful in doing any of it that well though
  11. I would describe the seeing of no evil as being attuned to what is true. What can be right besides what is so? What could right mean otherwise?
  12. @CreativeMind I'm not conscious that I'm God or that I created the universe. But. I am trying to be directly conscious of my current experience. It's mainly the realising of what I don't know and more openness. There was a moth near me. I squashed it. I have no idea what then happened to it, or what it even was. Other things I realise that I take for granted. No idea what physical space or the world is. Don't know what my body is either or how I'm using it. Thinking may not be the best way to use it, although that's what we do in writing these sentences and messages.

  13. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Wed 28/04/2021 23:27 You have to pick an option Mujtaba. Right? Being in Limbo does nothing good. The fear keeps rising and rising, going on and going on. Is there an end? Will it keep rising until you do it? It feels like death to do so. If I ask for anyone to hold my hand, wouldn't that defeat the entire point of the fear I'm facing? But if I do it, will there be any bounds? Will it be transcended? Will I be fearful and facing those fears my entire life? Perhaps I should deliberately visualise and bring up my fear of death and my worst fears, and keep surrendering and surrendering. Sounds idealistic but idk, something like that might be worth it as a meditation. I feel as though the pressure cookers are on max setting. If there was ever a time to cut out all the useless shit and distraction I'm doing, it would be NOW
  14. @Flowerfaeiry "You didn't choose the path, the path chose you" is my sentiment

  16. How to emerge into yellow

    lmfao replied to SolarWarden's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    @SolarWarden You're in stage green and want to go to yellow eh? Hmmmmmm. Well what comes to mind for me is how yellow takes different perspectives and embraces a relativity green doesn't have. So it's a task of becoming more relativistic and flexible. Seeing the different angles and perspectives to a topic or situation. Maybe as a fun exercise, you can try playing devil's advocate for the sake of it and entertaining perspectives you vehemently disagree with. Getting comfortable with people and perspectives you disagree with. Tier 2 is multi-faceted and flexible, the theory goes. And as you're doing that exercise, make an effort to genuinely understand how that person is thinking, what their assumptions and bubble of reality is. Not pseudo attempts to understand them for the sake of fulfilling some hidden agenda. Understanding for the sake of understanding. Nobody is perfect at this, but be aware of it to what you can. Is there merit or usefulness or partial truth to what they're saying? You can reflect whatever medium you choose. You can do it in your mind, do it in your daily life by just making the intention to see things differently. Or maybe you try doing it with writing, thinking of worldviews, people, ideologies, maybe SD stages, and examining them.
  17. After talking to a good friend and describing my situation and past to them yesterday, I had a breakthrough of sorts. I have depersonalisation, lapses in my perception and sense of identity related to various parts of myself and my past. But I felt surges of emotion came back, lots of repressed grief came up but it felt nice. For the first time in a long time I felt a certain flavour of positive feeling and love/bliss. But I woke up today and, I feel a lot of strain in my head. I feel more like my old, familiar self, in a positive way perhaps. Ofc I'm still dissociated, but I'm still in the afterglow of a psychological breakthrough recently. But despite that breakthrough, I don't feel pleasant. My old self My head feels strained, and although in some sense my emotions and sense of vitality is much stronger, I feel more cold. I feel some sense of liberation, but I also feel quite mechanical and strained in my head. Strained mind which automatically calculates too much. Part of it though is the coming back of old parts of me. I feel like I have a certain clarity for action, deconstruction and authenticity. I feel less bothered by certain fears and worries which were bothering me ( although it's still ultimately here, and very strongly). But I also feel like I lack a certain type of empathy and connection to the world. Perhaps I'm not feeling any of those things and that's just my thought story and interpretation. Can anyone else here relate to that feeling of a strained mind/thinking, and not being very connected to other people? I'm just gonna try to let go and be okay with the strain, journalling and writing. Be with the strain and fear, see what happens... For the past several weeks, I've been dealing with and uncovering pretty deep fears which bother me 24/7 Edit: I'm able to relax my mind and thinking just a little by listening to signals of strain, which feels peaceful and soothing. Now I can delve into things

  18. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Tuesday 27/04/2021, +1 03:55 Just enjoy this moment Mujtaba. I could die with peace of mind, just like this. This alone is enough. AT THIS MOMENT, AT THIS TIME, I'M BACK. IT'S ME. I'M ACTUALLY ME AGAIN. I'm left breathless HIROGARU YAMI NO NAKA KAWASHIATTA KAKUMEI NO CHIGIRI AISHITA YUE NI MEBAETA AKU NO HANA KOREKARA SAKI OTOZURERU DE AROU SUBETE WO DARENIMO JAMA SASERU WAKE NI WA IKANA ITSUKA BOKU GA MISETE AGERU HIKARI KAGAYAKU SEKAI WO
  19. I would rather have JP as a regular conversation partner than Sam. JP is more holistic and insightful imo. He's more well rounded, whereas Sam would just be left brain. No offence to Sam but if I wanted to talk to a robot I would just ask Alexa something. JP has lots of genuine passion. He's gone through a lot of shit and is still here, this battle over the psyche and soul actually means something to him.
  20. Who's more close minded I wonder, JP or Sam Harris ? I think it's too close to call. I think they'll both be contentious but at different levels/points. Sam Harris is likely to be more linear in defence, JP more convoluted. Ofc there will be lots of similarity. With JP, he'll likely be contentious at the level of academic philosophy. He'll question the validity of direct consciousness and discovery of God through stage blue reasoning and abstract philosophy. Add some defence he has of Christian values against those Eastern/Buddhist approaches to spirituality. Throw in some of his ravings about what Leo is proposing as being "very dangerous". "The unconscious is a dangerous place with monsters that will eat you alive". Maybe add some "we live in a society and you can't be yourself" thought processes for him. Sam Harris will have a highly prickly and contentious discussion, but will nonetheless be more linear and simple to understand. He's more likely to argue with Leo on terms they both understand. He'll try to refute or question Leo with materialism and science. Sam Harris is familiar with meditation and psychedelics, but he frames it with his ideology So in this sense, I see JP as more tricky than Sam Harris. But it would depend on the goal of your discussion. I think JP is mystically inclined and doesn't only think in logical terms, something I like about him over Sam. But he has matrixes of religious thinking Idk much about Lex but I'm surprised people are voting for him. He seems pretty rationalist, but that's just my surface level impression.
  21. Well, he talked about the planet being "safe". Whatever label of "relative" or "absolute" you put on it. You're making a mistake by imposing that framing here, it's unnecessary. It's confusing your discussion for no reason. This is about what Leo or you think about the effects of global warming, what can be done and what should be done. Perhaps Leo is highlighting an aspect of "how much can realistically be done?" but you're misinterpreting that as him being anti green energy. And he already described some his reasoning in general. He's pro green energy. But developing countries can't afford the luxury as much to have green energy. Ecological awareness is seen as a luxury from Survival's POV, especially in those countries. That much would be pretty obvious if you went to some of them. So you can't force these countries to do something as radical as stop burning fossil fuels, not anytime soon. Especially when you consider that we did it to get rich, no way they'd listen to us hypocrites.

  22. Ask a Psychopath

    lmfao replied to erik8lrl's topic in High Consciousness Resources

    @erik8lrl I think videos like these serve the role of undoing some of the dramatisation around psychopaths. The depiction of them as serial killers out to get you. Drama is fun but it can't be the only take you have on it. Honestly from what it sounds like, psychopaths have a narrower range of emotion. And even those emotions they do feel seem pretty attenuated. It honestly seems like a more boring life, but maybe it has its upsides.
  23. @ilja Best Christian source I ever found was A Course In Miracles. They have a workbook of 1 exercise/idea to apply daily. I never went through with it properly, but I felt it worked when I did it. In addition to the workbook of exercises (365 exercises, 1 a day to do for a year), they have a textbook. Both text and workbook are online for free. http://stobblehouse.com/text/ACIM.pdf I personally practiced the exercises before I read any text. Practicing it is the most important thing Chapter 2 of the text is such a juicy read though if you're mythologically and symbolically inclined. It talks about the Garden of Eden, something I thought about before. Perhaps you might want to make the distinction though between lunatic and fun indulgences into symbology, in the same way someone like Jung might do, and serious enlightenment work. But whatever the case, the exercises are cool.
  24. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Yeah Storms off running I am quite the pseudo zen koan intellectual now, so proud of myself
  25. @Carl-Richard That makes a lot of sense actually, yeah. Just pour yourself into that session and have no regrets about it. I don't think that will be easy for me, but at least I've heard it now so thanks. Not being relaxed and worrying will get in the way perhaps of it manifesting