Betterself

(Summary and question in bold text below.) A couple of moths ago while meditating (sober) I had an enlightenment experience of noticing that everything is consciousness, and that subject and object are the same. During the experience it was exciting, but I also realized that this led to the conclusion that the only thing that currently exists is my current experience, hence that I am the only one who is "conscious", and that no one else is currently experiencing reality. This is the main idea of solipsism as I understand it. Everyone else would be like a robot, excising only for, and in, my experience. Even though I believe in determinism and that I too am like a robot it that fashion, this still really scared me. The solipsistic world view made me pretty depressed the following month, the idea of being alone is very sad to me. I finally snapped out of it a couple of weeks ago when I realized a couple of reasons of why solipsism does not make sense, mainly that other people also claim to currently be experiencing reality, just like I do. Since then I've been feeling a whole lot better and not alone! This does leave me afraid however, does all of this spiritual work lead to Solipsism which brought me so much suffering? I am now afraid to explore consciousness while meditating, and I'm also afraid to do a psychedelic trip I've been looking forward to. In Leo's second blog from his 30 day meditation retreat, he as I understood it basically explained solipsism to be true, that my current experience is the only thing that exists: "This present moment that is happening right now is literally all there is"(https://www.actualized.org/insights/may-2018-solo-retreat-part-2 28:45). However, in his most recent Youtube video about consciousness which was recorded after that blog, he instead said that reality could be explained as a house, with different rooms that are multiple experiences of the world being experienced simultaneously. Even though we are at some level all the same house, we at another level exist and experience the world individually and simultaneously together. This thought I am okay with, It means that my experience is not in that way "alone", but that there is right now also all of your's experiences taking place right now as well. Did I understand Leo correctly? I would love to get some more knowledge of whether my experience is the only thing that currently exists or not. The thought of my experience being the only thing that currently exists, and me again coming to that realization, makes me not want to do any more spiritual work since I think it will make me unhappy. Thank you all

I’m all for Medicare for all, but I don’t agree with Bernie’s plan to make private insurance illegal. Yes the government run healthcare might be better for most people, but why not let the free market prove that? If it wins over private insurance in the free market the conservatives will become way more convinced. And if, to my surprise, the government run healthcare would not work out too well this time, having the private insurance as a backup would be nice. Also private insurance could theoretically serve as a little competition for the government alternative which is always nice for innovation. Yes private insurance sucks, but why not let people choose themselves and let the free market show everyone that Medicare for all is good? There are a few ways in which I think Bernie is going too socialistic compared to other candidates. Is this Bernie being stuck in stage green and not yellow?

I get that awareness is the only thing one can know exists. But how could one be CERTAIN it is the only thing witch exists, that it for example is not the result of some other process?

@Leo Gura Sure you don’t mean Sweden?

Leo did not speak much more about it than mentioneing that he thought it is true. Is he talking about telepathy between two people or something else? And what factors are pointing to it being a real thing?

@Leo Gura Will you ever reveal what that substance is, and maybe even share a trip report? That would be very interesting even though 5-Meo is more useful.

According to Leo and most other teachers/people, your life purpose, what makes you thrive, should be something that creates happiness and a better world for other people. And that is the case for me as well, creating good and a better world is what gets me working. Non Dualism however, as I understand it, states that the current consciousness that I'm experiencing right now is all that exists. Why would I create a better world and happiness for others if other consciousnesses don't exist and therefore cant perceive happiness? And why create a better world if the world only exist for me? Why create a better world if no one else has a consciousness to experience it, and if the world will no longer exist when I die and my consciousness apparently starts experiencing something different? Am I misunderstanding something here? Thank you for all answers.

Spiral Dynamics

What I do not understand is why other people just like me says that they are conscious. Why would god/trueSelf create a world where everyone lies about that? That doesn’t make sense. Is it maybe that when I don’t understand what consciousness is, since I haven’t separated it from my ego? When I and others say that were conscious, is it then maybe actually our egos that are saying that they are something that is actuallly not equal to true consciousness? I’m confused

@Leo Gura Thank you for that, I think what I should do is to work on having a proper ego death. Separating ego and my consciousness, hence also realizing that there are other egos even though there are not other consciousnesses, since they can be separate. More meditation, your guide to a no self experience and a psychedelic this summer should do the trick

@sarapr Wow that really is interesting!

@Principium Nexus Would that not in a sense be distracting myself from it though? Or do you suggest fully embracing it, but simultaneously reminding myself of what does not make me feel lonely by doing what you suggest? Is that how you got yourself out of it?

@AlwaysBeNice Yes that makes sense, to just embrace it. What I am afraid of is that I am either going down the entirely wrong path, or that the spiritual path is just wrong for me personally, and that I will not be able to dig myself out if I go too deep and then realize it is not for me. I'm young enough that my brain is not fully developed, and feel that I should be a bit careful with these things. Would you disencourage me me from doing a psychedelic now as my ego then might again fight back? I have done a psychedelics before however which went fine. I am grateful for all of you people's advice

This morning I had my first enlightenment experience, realizing that everything is made out of the same kind of consciousnesses, that everything is me and that my ego just like everything else is an illusion. Also meditation became effortless. I passed Leos checklist for being enlightened on one of his posts on the forum. During the day however, the higher consciousnesses has worn off a lot, and at some points being forgotten completely. What tips do you have for maintaining it? I currently do "do nothing" meditation for 15 minutes every morning, should I maybe add self inquiry into the daily routine? Much love

@Leo Gura I do believe that I understands its mechanism, consciousness just playing a show, by necessity being experienced. One thing that surprised me however is that I got no painful ego death, I just became "it" all of a sudden, without any suffering. Maybe I surrendered fully or my experience was not deep enough for my ego to fully die, the only negative feeling associated with the experience came from the realization that I in a sense am alone. I still feel a lot happier after the experience, a lot of burden being taken off my shoulders, now I can just enjoy the show Also I'm really excited for having a psychedelic experience in this state if it lasts

In a few days I will do my first real/big lsd trip. I have done lsd once before but then I only took 50 ug, while I got some interesting insights, it’s unclear if it was because of the psychedelic. I also got no visuals. I do 15 minutes of meditation every morning and have done so for about 8 months, have watched actualized.org videos during roughly the same period. During the las two months I have had a few “Sober trips” (more intense than my 50ug trip) where I have felt really connected and stuff and gotten lost of insights. I’m present most of the day and don’t get stressed, but I feel “hopeless” sometimes for short periods. My goal is to have an ego death experience and find even more peace in my existence. I have a few questions: 1. Should I do it alone or with a (sober) close friend? I’m not really scared of having a bad trip. 2. 150 ug is a good dose, right? 3. Should I do it inside or in nature? It’s really cold up here in Scandinavia though... Was thinking of a little of each. I often get insights while in nature. But many recommend just doing it in a dark room. 4. Should I have background music? (Pink Floyd/ Shpongle) Thank you all in advance! Hope this can help others with their first trip as well

@WaveInTheOcean Thank you for the advice! The only thing I'm a little scared of is if I for some reason would panic with or without a reason. What do you recommend doing in that case? Call a friend? Put on some happy music? Change Enviroment?