TruthSeeker47

@Mart Thats exactly what I was feeling. Im beginning to think that this technique is not so safe though because many people are saying it can be linked to brain damage

@Knn The ego Is a bitch, that sucks that you had panic attacks, I had something similar a little while ago. I get easily mindfucked and tired when I think about my ego to much so I just try and come into the present whenever I can and hope that I'm making progress

This was my third time for 30 mins and I listened to the same music as always, (Linked below). It started off normal, I just had to focus on my discipline to make sure I was breathing properly and not slacking. I could also feel my hands and feet filled with something which I think is just blood, this was uncomfortable but still bearable : 0 - 10 mins Then I started to fade backwards, Earlier today I went fishing and I remember thinking that the fish must be seeing god when they are above the water because thats how I'm feeling when I'm deprived of oxygen, I just tried to submit to the fact that I was to become the fish and accept my fate of death. (That sounds weird I know but idk how else to explain it) : 10 - 20 mins I then saw (Not vividly) A massive cloud and a vast space, I thought that this is where my ego will be destroyed and remember feeling very peaceful, just wanting my ego to submit and die so I could be free. It was almost like I was orbiting this massive cloud but I wasn't actually there It was like a thought or memory. 20 - 30 mins The last bits I remember were feeling that I was really looking forward to getting back to normal so I could feel the euphoria that came after awaking from my last sessions. I opened my eyes as soon as the timer went off but I felt paralyzed. My hand were stuck in place and my feet were in a really weird position like I was having a seizure, after 5 mins of this I begun to panic wondering If I was actually in danger but I tried my best to keep calm and after 10 more minutes I felt comfortable again. I feel like maybe it would be risky for me to do this again but I think that I saw god and that was really cool. Have any of you experienced the weird tensions in your body after finishing your exercise?

@Phill No worries @Otogi How do you know that life will go on after death?

Yesterday was my second time doing it, and I increased from 20 mins to 30 mins. I felt pretty weird during it like my hands were cramping, my chest also felt very tight. After the 30 mins I felt like I had escaped my ego and for a split second I felt like myself as a kid, and then the memories and responsibilities of my current life flooded in and it was really depressing having to experience the change in my self and all the layers of bullshit my ego puts on my awareness. Later that night I had REALLY bad diarrhea, like the worst I have ever had and I felt like I also wanted to vomit but thankfully I didn't. When I went to bed I had a minor panic attack and I felt like If i stayed in one position, my heart would explode or I would have a seizure or something. Definitely a powerful experience but i'm not sure if it's safe for me.

@Faceless Okay no worries and thanks again

@Faceless Okay I will get some books on those topics, have any you recommend?

@Phill I used to smoke alot of weed and I had the same sort of experience, I would feel my heart tighten and I thought I was surely going to die. But every time nothing bad would happen it's just my mind punishing me. I think how you experience different drugs is 10% about them and 90% about you. I had and still do have alot of trauma i need to work through and I'm guessing you probably do also based on your description of your weed experience. I recommend you try Leos holotropic breath technique if you haven't already, it helped me feel extremely comfortable so that i could consider issues like my past trauma and mortality without them causing me to panic. All the best man and remember you are not alone in this freaky place called life

Thanks for your comments, I will work on cultivating that truth

@Nahm Fuck you dude i stopped replying because I was trying to understand what you meant. There is no reason to shame me for trying

@deci belle I don't think I understand what you mean, are you saying that to become a buddah i must be able to kill a buddah? @Rilles Thats true, the ants consciousness is unknowable but I guess if they are stealing food or doing other things that bother your parents it seems worth it to them to kill them, taking the chance that hopefully they are not as aware as us and wont suffer as much

@Nahm What the fuck does that mean

@ArmanHahahaha

@Arman Thanks for sharing that, it seems really supernatural that the master is able to will the mosquitos away from him. I guess relieving the itch isn't worth the value of life but my rationale was that it's life was nothing but constantly sucking the blood of others.