Lise

Recently I've been really frustrated about the fact that seemingly, people with good values, depth, and wisdom doesn't do as well in the education system as people with shallow values (no values) and bad moral views. Might this be because the education system itself often is very shallow and somehow not dedicated to true learning (making people understand stuff instead of mindlessly accepting them), and people with depth value true learning? Or is it just a matter of discipline? Personally, I've been on both sides. When I was younger I was really academically hard working. I even had Leo's quote "Study for the sake of studying" hanging on the side of my desk. Being 23 now, and soon to start on my master's degree, I'm not as obsessed with getting good grades as before. I am, but only in the subjects that I see true learning and value in. Some subjects are really mindless and trivial, and it's really hard to be motivated to work with these, even though an HR person would probably see value in the grade. I guess the real reason it annoys me is because I'm afraid employers don't value real interest and side projects, but would rather see a good grade average. If the subjects actually test how good you'd be in the profession this would be OK, but they don't. Also, a lot of firms seem to be madly exploitative and don't see value in having people with values on their teams. Ugh. I just feel like society doesn't value wisdom. And it makes me very sad. Fuck. I guess the real issue is that corporate life is so orange and that the world seems so upside down... Is mainstream society as it is today a place where shallowness is more valued than depth? What do you think about this?

This is a good article too: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_of_artificial_intelligence

I'm currently taking an introductory course in machine learning. Right now we're so far from building a model that intelligent that it is capable of awareness. It fails a lot of very simple deduction tasks. I don't understand what you mean when you say that we don't know how it works. We know how neural networks work. We just don't know the exact associations and weights between the nodes. But it's basically a network of associations. And pretty far away from anything that can be considered a threat to humanity. Reinforcement learning is far from getting out of hand. At least what my professors say. And from what I've learned the AI's can also be pretty dumb (especially when it comes to deduction). Personally, I don't think you should dwell too much on whether it is a threat to humanity or not. We're so far away from being able to create that intelligent AI. Personally, once you get a little bit into machine learning, it's not that magical. It's just algorithms and a lot of tuning of parameters. The article is also not that great in my opinion, basically a guy stating a lot of scary stuff without mentioning all of the counterarguments.

Haha it would probably seem a little weird in a negative kind of way if you didn't take them off eventually. Maybe just follow common sense and take them off after a while, unless this is a common thing in Texas (?)

Superlikes makes you stand out a little bit from the other guys. It does work, obviously in combination with common sense attraction principles. Most people like to be liked a little extra:) Personally, it could turn a 'X' to a '<3', if you're not too far away from what the girl usually likes of course.

You will discover this when you've been in a relationship. I would not get too theoretical about it.

Ok. Still think it will just make them even more angry. Major germany in ww1 vibes.

Yeah, but is it really working to just ban them from everything? What does it do to achieve the goals of getting them to a more democratic place? In a region my country (Svalbard) they also decided to not support russian businesses. I don't know the details of this, but I feel really uncomfortable if a russian family business is just boycotted because they are russians.

6th. Pff that's a relief. Now I don't have to be as worried for the next couple of years until I move in. Thanks.

I've definitely become less needy and more confident. During high school I even thanked my friends for being my friends one time. What made me change: just experience. I was really ballsy socially for a period. Meaning I'd go out to bars and clubs a lot, talk to a bunch of people, sneak into parties alone and pretend I was invited. Do risky things with guys, although that kind of ended up with ptsd for a period of time. I tried to be brave. But this wasn't really what made me change. I got into romantic relationships. That definitely made me less needy, and was probably the biggest catalyst for this change in me. In my experience you can't be happy with a person while simultaneously being super needy and insecure. I went through massive turbulence in my love life before I got the confidence I needed to be a part of a stable relationship. I still don't know exactly how this happened. Probably just experience. Said friends from high school pointed out this change in me too. If you're wondering about how to get a girl, just try. There's a lot of insecure girls out there. You could also watch Leo's guide about how to get laid. Contrary to his videos (I think) I don't think one has to aim for the high quality ones, at least not to build confidence. The guys I hung out with was certainly not always very high quality, sometimes even violent.

Yeah. Also really annoyed with how they just decide to ban russians from everything. But I'm not that awake, so I dunno. It's just how the world is(?)

WARNING: Massive first world problem ahead Hello actualized.org forum! A couple of weeks ago I bought my first apartment, a new one that's being built, and will be ready in a couple of years. I was super excited, and for weeks I couldn't stop dreaming about how wonderful it would be to live there, compared to the low standard shared apartments that I'm used to. Well, just found out that they are planning to build a skatepark there with multiple bowls. It's going to be noisy. Super noisy. I feel utterly devastated, in fact I'm crying as I'm typing this. This is just one of thousand small shit situations I've been through in the past few years. I know that this, even in the first world, is a really unproblematic problem, but what does one concretely do when one, for years, have been feeling like the problems in life seem to just pile up. Everything is difficult. Nothing is easy. There's always something unexpected that one needs to deal with. Life is a steeper and steeper hill. Just when you feel like things are finally going your way, nope! Please only semi-serious replies. My ego is fragile. If you are going to reply "be grateful", please give an argument for why I shouldn't be a whiny little bitch.

Some concrete actions you can take that has helped me: - remind yourself about the reason why it ended - remove things that remind you of the person if you can - give yourself time. It's unrealistic to expect that you will be any good at work or studying right after a break up. It's like a drug withdrawal. - call a friend or someone you trust (if you have people like that in your life). It really helps to get all of the feelings out, and feel that there are someone there to support you. - after you've grieved and the break up isn't so fresh, start doing things that spark joy for you. Also, probably don't do shrooms. I just run straight back to my ex when doing them (don't know why). And I regretted that, because there was a reason for why it ended, and I didn't remind myself of it enough. Know that you're not alone <3 Breakups are tough, we're here for you! And there is an end to the pain, even though it doesn't feel that way:)

Hello to you who's reading this, I'm here because I'm in love and in a relationship with a guy who has a lot of issues with pride. I feel like we do love each other, but sometimes he gets stuck in a mindset of being right, and not for example apologizing, even though I know he is sorry (or am I projecting?). The consequence is that I have to be good at reading him and understanding his psychology to not get hurt by what he is saying. And this doesn't feel right. What is the real issue? I don't believe that the relationship culture today is any good, as I feel like we're in a throwaway society where we just throw away partners without realizing that we're the issue, not the relationship. We're very damaged, and we have to fix this. So what would the issue be in my (and probably many others) situation? What are the real mechanisms behind one partner having to be more understanding than the other? And what about love? I'm actually willing to bear the relationship on my shoulders alone (as of now) because I'm so deeply in love. What are the mechanisms and "flaws of character" behind this? Or am I totally misguided? Peace and love, Lise from Norway

Quite a few people here are saying that you absolutely can attract a girl way hotter than you. What not a lot of people are saying are that your approach should be different. That's what I think at least. A little anecdote: one time I was in a club, there was this short asian guy* trying to dance with me and my friend. Which didn't work, because neither one of us found him to be attractive the least. But if he would have talked to girls at the bar or something, I think he would have had a way better chance, especially if he had this masculine, but still friendly attitude to him (Leo's video about masculinity is really good at explaining this). *No, being short (and asian) does not necessarily ruin your chances with women! (Another anecdote: I remember there was this guy who was shorter than me (and I'm only 1,6 m / 5 feet 3) flirting with me a lot, and after he moved, I found myself really attracted to him. He was really confident though, and I think that has a lot to say.)