NoSelfSelf

You havent dig inside your mind the gold of yourself to love yourself, before that you havent sit with yourself and embrace yourself unconditionaly as you are...

@flowboy Yeah just learned about that in more detail,there are like whole galaxy of emotions,beliefs,memories,assumtions etc. mixed together that wants to integrate in every moment crazy stuff..

This is all an add on to the first 8 years of your life, where you formed wounds that later abuse just makes it bigger until it splits open...This coupled with emotional part(shadow work) can make it work...This is all my theory not scientific or anything (only the 8 years of childhood that formed the foundation for trauma by how emotions were treated by parents/society)... 1.Losing trust in yourself-slowly you not realize that the constant abuse ,lets say from gaslighting,from shaming,verbal abuse, you start to start seeing your own thinking/feeling/action as worthless, thinking all i need to do to avoid the abuse is supress my thinking/feeling then everything is fine. 2. Its like everything you do is ends up wrong and againts you... Since probably your deep thinker/unique indovidual and way you see the world is completely different from others,everything if you truly express yourself comes of as wrong could also be part of losing trust in yourself. 3.Losing ability to defend yourself. The more abuse is frequent, the more you defend, then you see it makes it worse ,lets say if you grew up with a narcissit he will make you pay for going againts his thoughts with silent treatment,everything being said is false and turned againts you, so you learn to not defend your position in the future it goes hand in hand with point 1. 3.Forming codependency(feeling and thinking something is wrong with me) At this point you start to feel like somethings wrong with you (almost all the time )and you need to fix yourself but this also makes things worse by seeing yourself more and more as someone thats broken and needs fixing(but its necessery first step). Depending on your self image and how you see yourself on the past experience(of the abuse) mind turns to defining you based on that, how world(could be a group of friends as your world)treated you thats how you see yourself and now you feel stuck in that world, where you dont have self belief to think different than how world saw you. Fixating on valuing other people thinking and opinions over your own,now outside world is in the drivers seat on how you will think and feel.(expecially in social or pressure situation its amplified/fear of conflict). 4.The more you lost the trust in yourself the more lower the self belief and confidence is the more it generates negative downrowd spiral From point 3 everything goes down Because of point 5. 5.Constant inner conflict emerges where you are batteling againts yourself all the time ,rejecting yourself because of abuse where you saw you your thinking and feeling is worthless,because its shut down every time making you create an inner contract(outside world didnt harm you you saying ill never voice my opinion and interpeting the abuse made it all possible)saying my thinking doesnt matter i cant voice it so every time you want to speak up in front of people social anxiety comes to stop you because you have that contract.... 6.Losing your individuality because of codependency Constantly being lost,confused cant find the way out of the problem because you lost the ability of original thinking and knowing whats best for you(plus inner conflict) so every part of life suffers leaving you with more suffering and depression fueling the old wound... Cant find place in the world. Well this all sounds "bad"... this is my theory and experinece and how i saw it.When i saw the pattern it i started to regain my personal power with trusting my own thinking and feelings to be completely valid and has huge value for me,thats in my opinion is the start of recovering yourself and everything else that piled on that core problem that started the domino effect(losing your trust/your defence/your thinking/living in a world defined by abuse experience.. hope it helps...

Always finding things you are grateful for you have,affirming great things you already have,looking back from where you came from. Having high standards is great and key to happiness, but wanting things fast and not appreciating the process hurts you,because process is what matters to get the the goal, focusing on goal itself is a distraction. Quality of the inner progress of lessons that setbacks teach you, is so much more rewarding than the reaching of the goal itself.

@Ulax Thanks ? @Vibes ?

@Ulax Yeah im thinking about exactly that,well im self diagnosed codependent could say mixed with trauma,which were really bad before whit constant anxiety,somebody could tell something about me(true or false)triggered the big respons(how others feel i would feel).You know some stuff about yourself but you dont even see that you abandon yourself,no interest in your own self,that causes you not having formed identity so you are lost in the world.Learning Game helped me with destroying codependency,not fully but big chunk of it,thats why i speak with so much passion/agression in dating section i dont know if thats that. Still have problem with figuring out myself,enlightement work helped me become normal and now i see better the abuses and ways things influenced me to form that so called passive toxicity or whatever(all this im thinking detached because i dont really trust noone anymore but myself to form information for me)... I would say i was at negative -100 got to a solid 0(normality) and now going up every day in this direction of self trust and taking back my personal power lets say. I guess that would be a preview...

@theleelajoker Yeah when you give yourself a permission to be fully you then showing it to others,expecially the ones like narcissistic father(who abused you)can be healing because you look it all from different pov,and allowing to be you, seeing how they forced you to abondon yourself but now you dont listen and abandon yourself after the same abusive pattern... @Ulax I got even more deeper into this one,not trusting yourself and constant doubt in yourself is the cause of so called toxic passivity, where you always look for something else to give you things so you can heal yourself,constantly hearing other peoples thinking inside of yourself not knowing what you want and not taking so called personalized action where you do action only for yourself (could put it in point 2).This is so deep that i didnt digest it all. But probably you can relate that you dont easily make a decision and always looking for the new answers and consuming stuff and not taking action for yourself and trusting your judgment/intuition because it was beaten out of you from abuse that everything that you always wanted as a child was bad and every time you start to do something for yourself it becomes an emotional mess. @001 Thanks ?

@Emerald Game is not something you have then it turns off,game is the whole person if that person is exciting then it will be throughout relationship,if that person is deep he will be always deep. If the things suddenly stop and become stale its because that person was using a fasade of looking like that person to draw you in,thats why i said you got attracted to the fasade of learned practiced behaviour that that person is actually not.Game cant stop because game is not about a woman its about a man who he is,thats why if a person is doing things for a woman and having her in mind and not himself hes manipulating right from the bat,its all about me i am who i am and i made my own life around me, you are the one accompanying me so there is no stopping and its not just the attraction phase its all phases.This is common sense when you think about it...

Without knowing yourself, you wont know what to think, so you need others to think ,so you depend on them thus need their validation... If you knew what to think and value your thought(btw all world does is trying to beat that out of you) you will need others and their validation...

@Emerald No,women hate me,last woman i spoke to told me that she dreamt about me having a 12 year old face in adult body ?. I dont take friendships lightly so i there is not many real friends i had,love to be by myself reading books on relationships and talking about it on the internet ? Yeah they can go really deep depending on how deep are you connected with your own self,which my point was originally not many people are. If the connection is that deep then why would there be divorce(i dont really care about personal stuff just dont make sense to me)... Will do that ill start asking people how are they doing ?

@Bando You can have your own opinion about what im speaking,which you dont even understand what im talking about.Its not red pill stuff because red pill is about women,game has nothing to do with women.It sounds arrogant because level of understanding here is red pill stuff,nice guy simp stuff,rsd cult manipulation. When im talking im not even having women in mind. All of that is fine yes you can also pay her to have sex with dinners you can do whatever.I asked why would you ask that because there is a reason for every move you make but this is too woo-woo for you. Cool your advice is being brainwashed by RSD play by play and you think about women first cool no wonder you dont understand what im saying. @Leo Gura can remove my mod status so i dont need to explain myself to you guys who are so sensitive and base everything around a woman and for my world life experience i will never talk about it publicly but its not on a level of the theory i have i agreed on that.You guys dont realize that you are selling your soul to women so yoir experiences are nothing to me.Except leo i havent heard anyone say anything of value here its just desperate,ill do anything,be anything for a woman because nobody here has Game...

@Emerald First 2 points yes,no i said all connections are surface level between people in general,no you were moved by someone again on surfacelevel ,but not at the level of connection that is on a deep level,because people are operating from the surface level. No men(not real men)usually connect with actual make up on the womans face her "beauty" that is actually fasade of a make up and eyeliner etc. Yes and you dont know the difference because you havent met someone like that before you only know what you experienced on the surface level.

Focus on yourself.

@Hibahere I dont know because i dont care about other men...

Idea of cheating repells me,probably because i have integrity and would break up before doing something. If i have ideal woman that meets my needs,then this queastion of cheating doesnt make any sense,there is better things to do than looking for another options.

@RebornConsciousness Its possible to not feel bad after rejection 100%,but the problem is that you are rejecting yourself after she says no ,which is the cause of you feeling bad,you tell yourself that you are not good enough and deteremening her reaction whit how succesful you are and that shes the one defining you. So deeper thing is that if you would know yourself really well,defined yourself based on who you really are,stop living in the outside world of externals where situations and experience define who you are(this is a deeper topic). Then you would be secure in who you are.After that you would recognize that she has right to say no,she has her own belifes,views,povs that has nothing to do with you,what she does is none of your business after you do your thing because she has right to say and do whatever she wants to do and you can only asses your moves to see if you think you did something wrong not based on her reaction but based on your assesment and level of understanding...

@something_else You owned me good job im not weak to admit it ? Now you admit that your direct experience is based not on direct experience but by the validation of a woman,if you get her or not and if she doesnt you feel like something bad happend.You are trying to sleep with her without that you wont be even doing it. Also that you manipulate and you know you cant match the ideal version you present to them let me hear i hope its not too agressive ;)... @Roy No im not trolling,good to know that im crawling under your skin you didnt answer me in last post, now coming when its safe to strike ?

@something_else You already said that and i agreed,am i not allowed to post quality theory or should i start senting you infield footage?

@Emerald Why would i ask such a queastion when i know she is great because she talks to me(im the centar of the experience) and all the connection that is experienced between humans is surface level stuff you never met someone that tapped your core, so its like guy connecting to the make up and woman connecting to some fasade of a personality constructed to get you...

@Yimpa respect other people boundaries.

@RebornConsciousness Then dont tag me

@RebornConsciousness I dont get why you writing me this i didnt ask for it...

@something_else Spot on ?

@something_else Im not going to explain myself so read what i say or dont,do as you wish....

@something_else Its not about the opener, its about not talking at the women, its about what you are saying is moving things somewhere for positioning yourself,so you dont run behind her and trying to get her....