NoSelfSelf

You pedestelize someone because you yourself think you are not good enough for that person, you see them more special than yourself. I dont know you so i cant say why you think you are not as important as them,its some assumption or belief that you as you are is not good enough <--- probably just that Or could be the fear you wont find great girl like that if she leaves you so you make her more valuable and you become more needy..

Basically all the lies ,deception justifications we do from ignorance...

Because you put her on a pedestal you see her more of a value than yourself so its natural you will lose your charm as long as you see her above you this will happen...treat her looks like nothing special while being around them more often...imagine her without make up and how she looks when shes taking a dump next time she comes around im serious ?

Better way in my opinion is to take psychadelics once or twice a month, then focus on shadow for longer period and go slowly,to me thats common sense, if you went to gym and did it every day all out then you would feel horrible... Too much of good thing is bad...

This is how it goes:in subconcious there are trapped emotions that you supressed because they were unwanted or too much for you to handle, so every time they come up its because you get triggered ,when you get triggered you have to set the intention to identify(shifting focus on) the specific emotion you want to let go(step 1) then you have to stay there and experience it fully(step 2) now dont try to control the process of letting go just with focus and staying on the emotion everything else will be resistence to it and thats why they are trapped in the first place...no control no how do i do it just fully experience it and if you do it "right" emotions will start to shape into something i would call "liquid" emotion they will be experienced for what it is then suddenly they will go by itself and you will feel the relief after that...its actually super easy but ego stepping in and labeling emotion as bad or trying to control the procress is resistence that makes emotion trapped back in subconius... identify shift focus and experience it fully staying on the emotion not the ego/thoughts

@Muhammad Jawad In many cases people respect their parents too much and they should but in this case,when father disrespects you dont respect him back you are too meek in your delivery and still trying to be on good terms even tho someone is disrespecting you...show him his teeth as saying goes, get in a conflict with him that he sees that you truly mean it shake him up show him you mean business even tho if he would shout back or whatever he will secretly earn respect for you... Or just plain avoid him...probably not what people wanna hear from a mod but im real here... Stop being an nice guy and people pleasure or not having danger side of yourself easier said than done...

No. Setting boundaries no matter how enlightened you are,abuse is not something you tolerate...they treat you like that because you allow it and you are an easy target for their insecures egos to get a short lived satisfaction...you could use it to release emotions but still no abuse or toxic behaviour is allowed...

Seems the problem is black and white thinking you either dont say anything about yourself or you unload everything on others(they are not ready for that so use right timing)...being vurnable is saying stuff about yourself and being ready to be hurt thats strenght you are ready to be hurt and people who sees it as a weakness you drop them... When the shame and emotions pop up start asking why do you feel like that so you can detect the belief behinde it...

You are either trolling or have the most insane resaults in history of pick up ? you say to friends i need to borrow her for a second ,make sure she is turning towards you and not seeing her friends, in her world it will be like they dont exist.. you befriend the friends showing them you are not creepy but social dude, if they see you are cool they will let her go

You sound so down but thats impresive dude you manage to pull a girl and you never did it...and with mind that produces panick attack thats like homeless guy owning a villa all of a sudden ?

Becoming something for others to get something from them is never a good idea, its like nice guys trying to be nice to get approval and likes from others..it comes from a weak mindset and frame...to become something of value you do it for self and to bring value to others just because and not to survive better with people just a causion to not go overboard its a balance you cant use just one tactic...

I have friend that we meet once every 3-4 months...i created the list of importance for how much i put in the effort in people, if you are on top you get vip status,if you are on bottom its superficial friendship..rang people based on importance and how much you are in same boat...

Sounds weird but by becoming a victim(seeing its not all your fault) you could move up...

@catcat69123 amazing post ?? Fake front is creation of false self to become liked by others while authentic self=something bad will happen,they wont accept and like you why do you need to be liked? @B_HAZ authentic self dont need to be approved because thats your reward being yourself

First i would regress to talking to clerks in shop then when you feel "ready" when you see a girl you go straight to her without thinking just doing it(have success bar extremely low) the more you do the more mind relaxes...when you start thinking how im gonna do it rather than doing it then mind will find an excuse to not do it...

@Galyna im impressed with people who can do both like leo im not the guy to speak on that i just know thats a good sign you are making serious progress..

Thats exactly what a spirituality process looks like its nothing wrong its a struggle...and all that will pass at the end of the storm

Dont try to function properly accept as you are and if you manage that tall task chip away at first thing that pops and do that for years and eventualy you will get there it took me over 10 years to beat social anxiety its still here a little bit that means chip away some more...depression and helplessness comes from you trying to make it different then it is univers is trying to mold you into something more and it gave you this big task to conquer probably not what you wanted to hear thats just my 2 cents...

Nice work ??

Only is she asks you for an advice or you ask so you need an advice? But usually they dont want your pragmatic advice they want to resolve their emotions to feel better its great recipe to be he male girlfriend trying to fix them its a hell to be in ?

Im not good at this but can tell you what i think you are doing wrong...you are putting on a show for a girl and not being real but fake you dont try being not needy try being agressive for her you do what makes you feel good and let it rub on her...

Its usually a self image problem or you dont know who you are and just dabble in everything and getting lost... Not defining your succes so you dont know if you progressed and looking for external validation etc.

Belief is a function in every human being just like a focus, if you focus on your legs thats what your experience will be, like with belief(there are beliefs in your subconcious that run your behaviour tho and believed automaticlly) and function of believing, like you have thoughts my cat is on fire and if you dont believe in it it wont become your experience if you do however ,even tho your cat is not on fire you will feel like it is...

Im on your side on this one you dont want to be part of something thats not natural to you and thats okay,your mom doeant understand you because she doesnt see it as a big deal i would say go out that day somewhere its worst to be among the people you dont want to be(forced) it wont help you and will just make you resent yourself,them and future gatherings...

Her saying you are too pragmatic means she doesnt want you to fix things rather hear her out and ride her emotions making her open up even more...