NoSelfSelf

@RMQualtrough Yeah i get that...was in same boat dealing with that and social stuff doesnt go well you gotta work on inner stuff and selectively socialize dont cut yourself completely find ways to be around people but dont need to socialize much for me it was volleyball it helped alot...

Rewatching old ones is best

I mean its what you see based on your beliefs,world views,identity and it focuses on that stuff...some people only see beauty,love,magic of life it has nothing to do with the world its what your mind focuses on to survive better(but in this case doesnt care how "you feel")

@something_else i can understand that if you date for a month but here what i got is they are talking casually(not intent of dating) and he suddenly said that she loves her ?

It was taken down for a reason

@something_else Thats interesting,how long from knowing a girl? Thats put extra pressure on guys and putting them in disadvantage hmm...

You are doing uncalibrated things that makes you come off creepy... Saying i love you to a girl you dont know that well is first...

What this thread turned to i hope guy is not hiccuping like crazy ? @something_else yep cant approach a girl to save his life ?

I understood him until i read this,this is too much in my opinion... Really cant tell nothing from the post actually because ill have to know more about him... But what i learned from people is that stingy person is someone to be really causios off they are not quality people(which im not saying is your boyfriend)

@Someone here when you realize yourself as reality then theres constant fullfilment and happiness that doesnt end basically...where every pleasure ends in material world

Ultimate hedonism is knowing/embodying what reality is...

Good job! Authentic expression is the key!...many guys including me have problems putting it out there because you get stiffled...amazing that you can do it first time ?

If you can have fun with girls that you dont find attractive then you are on a good path it shows you are not reactive,having secret agendas that they could sense...but a all around social guy who doesnt depend on externals to vibe thats the whole point of sociallizing not wanting but giving and if they give back great doesnt matter...im still working on this it doesnt matter who it is as long you are bulding skill and providing yourself and others while not depending on externals...

@Carl-Richard what do you mean by externalizing emotions?

That means you are not learning you are just approaching and doing same thing from approach 1 to 1000 you should fix on the way learn from refrence experiences...

Meditation is just a technique you can add way more powerful techniques in the mix but does end resault worth it? I mean if you wanna be happy just because then yes!

I would say...letting go technique,sedona method,finding the subconcious beliefs about things that makes you anxious(finding why),exposure theraphy,shadow work,deconstructing mind,mindfulness meditation,conciousness work(having attention in neutrality of being)...

Approach as much as you need that gets you closer to your end goal.Opener doesnt matter you could say anything but intent matters...

More context? It could actually mean you are improving alot but dont realize it until its passed...

@Something Funny Yeah theres a trick to it...its all about the place its coming from you are either coming there to chase and react to girl or you are going there to make her chase and care more by showing how awesome guy you are vs going there to prove you are an awesome guy(you chasing to get her and proving it)...

There is this thing called "Buyer vs Seller Frame" you are coming from the place of a seller how can i do something to impress or show im good enough where buyer comes from a place im awesome how can this person fit in my life does she has what i want..

@Insightful27 Great queastion btw you pinpointed the worst problem with going developing social skills...the problem is that self-help and old pick up is based on developing your fasade,bulding techniques,what you gonna say(pickup lines) but thats an old paradigm the paradigm of doing...you basically scam people to like you, what you wanna become is social master where you start to drop your constructed front you made(because you think your true self is not good enough) removing the things that is blocking your true you(alot of inner work that cant explain here) so basically if you care what other think if you try to say certen things to push emotional buttons, looking for approval trying to get something from them you are basically scamming people...but showing your true self and wide range of your true personality thats where they will like you or not and you wont be caring what they think because its geniuenly you...and your experiences will be genuene and true while the experiences from using techniques etc(you use them at right time automatically not strategizing) is gonna be not sustainable etc.

@FromSweden yeah you are just happy by itself no conditions required but to be empty of ego/conditioning if you know what i mean....

Materialism=temporary happiness Spirituality=permenent happiness

Best what i found is not a book its a course by rsd julien highvibecommunication... its whats needed to get to deep relationship ...it has some videos now i remmeber,on going deeper in relationships but didnt watch it twice to remember (yet)...and in bonus if you are not familiar they recommend book crucial conversations that they say is soooo important for deeper relationships....