The knowing of your calling might be stronger right now than the amount of more intense consciousness work you want to be doing. Maybe you have too many plates in the air right now for this - but this is it. It is what you’re wanting, but it’s currently unrecognized as such. There are dots still to connect. Take your attention off all the plates. Take a break from being on top of everything. This is the dilemma of a multi-talented, developed individual, the very same sophistication in experience which naturally draws upon the energy that is kundalini. 
It is “source having your back”, or unification, spiritual alignment, etc. Use whatever terms you prefer, but, it’s no joke. It’s intense energy. The real deal. You picked it already, and now, it’s answering, it’s picking you too, so to speak. 
It’s your honestly, humility, compassion, true expression, desire, ambition, complexity, etc, which drew it. Take a few minutes to just relax about it, and imagine a scenario in which everything else on your plate was easily put on hold, and was looked after and kept safe by someone you highly trust, so you could welcome this thing, just like you’d welcome a friend you invited over. You wouldn’t invite someone over and then be to busy to welcome them in, you know? Welcome it, surrender to it, give yourself to it.       
Take breaks to enjoy and draw on that vision. It’s relieving. You’re not supposed to carry a shit ton on your shoulders and mind. You’re likely great at the kickin ass in life, but sucking at the surrendering. Knowing the art of the one without the other is not mindful of the obviousness that your present experience is always paramount. It’s the only point. If in the present moment you are suffering, it is still paramount, experience it deeply and fully. 
Seeing in this way needs to become more accepted, more real than what is currently understood as an accurate view of reality. There is a ‘level’ of incredible open mindedness; faith, wishful thinking, trusting, believing, “giving it to God”, attracting, ... - again, use whatever terminology you prefer - but this contributes to opening the crown chakra. It’s entirely counter logical. Logic, rational thinking, reasonability... are products of a closed crown. That is not a wrong or bad thing. But it is more limited and serious experience of life. The energy that is coming blows the mind open with new perspectives and actuality of Unity, Oneness, “Dream Fabric”, Superposition, - again, just words, pointing to an expansion yet experienced.
The more material belief and perspective there still is, the harder it is to even imagine what your experience will be like, what your understanding of self and reality will be like, when the crown opens. Hopefully I’m communicating how tricky this could be without understanding this facet. It is the unknown. It is worthwhile to go. To let go. 
Being aware of the nature of the resistance to all chakras being completely aligned (kundalini) is key, “blockages”.  Don’t focus on “the kundalini”, shine awareness on the blockages. Ideally, you would go into it directly, and it would be much worse temporarily, but of course that will pass and you’ll be the better for it. I don’t imagine you’d want to drag it out anyways.   I know, it is a very intense healing. So intense it might not be recognized as what it really is yet, which is scary, to say the least.
The sensations felt throughout the entire body are related to the remaining opening of the crown. The crown typically opens from all others being aligned, and then the mind opens as described above. There may be some blockage in the sacral.
Hone in on the tingling in the lower spine. May be the sacral, and the resistance there might be of this same nature; “keeping all the plates in the air”, being very deliberate, intelligent, planning & executing timely, efficient & productive, etc. Opening to the next expansion does not discount these previous ones, it builds on them. Those great traits you’ve developed become the foundation to a yet unseen even greater experience. The universe is a powerful thing to connect with. 
Living on purpose is of course great, practical, necessary for any level of relative success, but can be a limiter in terms of consciousness in experience. This “limit”, is resistance to consciousness, but may very well not be understood by the mind. Maybe you’re at a ceiling, and it’s uniquely difficult because you’ve got your mind deeply into the life purpose / progress / productive end of things and weren’t expecting this. All of it unified together though, is the ultimate, as good as it gets. The unification process can be rough, but is most worthwhile. 
Finish it out. Shift perspective, more often, to whimsical, silly, fantastical, loose, light, easy, simple. Just be nobody for a while, carefree and silly. If “that ain’t you” then that is at least in part, a good deal of the solution (you might be too serious about yourself and not know it).
A little less materialism, and a little more magical experience. A little less Elon Musk, and a little more Walt Disney. Maybe consider, what if the infinite energy behind this alignment, is not like a sophisticated adult, but an innocent child, more in tune with play than work. This could make this process much easier for you. 
Hopefully something here is helpful. Sending healing & ease your way man. 

You call that a challenge? Here's what i suggest to the true seekers
STARVE EVERYTHING out of your life that provides and or includes any form of reward system/minimal to no stimulation of rewarding neurotransmitters, yes including FOOD.
Do absolutely nothing for one day, maybe walks and a form of meditation/mindfulness is okay and drinking water.
The rest is an absolute NONO. Watch what happens soon after.

Imagine life just as it is but you were hit in the head with a baseball bat such that you can no longer form the thought "me". You are gone, but life goes on.
You are an idea. This idea will stop arising.
But that is only the realization of no-self. There is still more to realize. Like what God is. So it's not as bleak as the ego makes it seem.
Don't buy into the ego's negative opinions about enlightenment. They are all delusion.
This work requires a leap of faith in the end. You cannot know what will be discovered after ego-death. It is not imaginable.

Highly effective !
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@Luna I feel you, it hurts at first and it doesn't seem like it's going to heal any time soon.. but music and solitude really help to ease the pain.
Also, journaling about your experiences with your friends/how you were treated + connecting to ultimately what you're after in relationships helps keep things in perspective.
Hope this helps 
 

@Vibivub
I have posted 3 playlists with special frequencies and meditation music in this thread, check it out.
Also, you can buy tibetan singing bowls, crystal bowls or gongs for sound healing meditations, very powerful stuff to quiet the mind.

Non-duality doesn't mean anything. It's an imaginary idea. That idea is an imaginary illusion because it's not in the direct experience, but this idea exists, it's just not real. When one is not aware enough of the direct experience then there are more shifts from the imaginary world to the direct experience. The illusion gets entangled in the real strange loop and slowly becomes an automatic behavior. Now the illusion is running subconsciously and you have to self-reflect via writing to get rid of it, analyze beliefs and egoic reactions.
There are a few critical moments in the day, when the environmental factors are right to trigger the illusion, those are egoic reactions that compromise the most of the suffering. Even if you are aware and observing it while it's happening, it does nothing, the illusion has it's own momentum and continues until one becomes aware of the illusion that is running the program via writing and speech. 

Ramana Maharshi's approach, most certainly. Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi is a wonderful thing. But to understand that, I'd recommend reading as background other advaita texts like the Bhagavad Gita and Yoga Vasistha. 
I'd also recommend looking into your psychology. That's where 90% or more of the work usually is -- figuring out psychological obstacles. I highly recommend getting psychodynamic psychotherapy -- or even psychoanalysis if you're willing to spare the time. If you want a good analyst, PM me and I will help you find one. A good analyst is a great guru to have.
Finding an expressive medium like writing or drawing and being able to express your emotions accurately and originally can be a critically useful instrument as well in understanding yourself and quieting the mind. Reading good literature and being acquainted with culture generally helps a lot with this.
Finally, the game is actually first and foremost figuring out your own desire. Therapy, expressive art, and everything else has to be oriented around that. And it is your own desire that will lead you to the Truth.
Edit: I'll also add in The Zen Teaching of Bodhidharma. Beautiful.

Yes
Guess what the #1 prerequisite for charisma is?
PRESENCE!

"Ultimate truth is wordless, the silence within the silence."
Ramana Maharshi's ultimate teaching was the silence.
But people didn't want that so he came up with self-enquiry.
And spirituality become more and more complex with all sorts of crazy experiences and activities because ultimately people wanted it like that, the direct path was too lacklustre for the uncommitted seeker.
Maya is just too tempting, like a beautiful feminine energy.

"There are 32 points on the head that when gently touched runs a bar of energy back and forth in the electromagnetic field of the brain. This back and forth "run" unlocks the negative and positive polarity that locks in points of views, limitations, belief systems, implants, thoughts, or feelings that no longer serve us. The brain waves actually slow down when you get your Bars run allowing these "implants" that you have been running since childhood to be accessed. Once performed the process is designed to facilitate more consciousness and help you to acknowledge you as the infinite being you are. 
The areas of Access Bars can be run for various emotions, beliefs, thoughts, etc. Some of the areas are:

-Control
-Money
-Creativity
-Creating Connections and Creating Life Forms
-Aging Toaster
-Hopes and Dreams
-Form and Structure
-Awareness
-Sadness and Joy
-Healing
-Body and Sexuality
-Kindness, Gratitude, Peace and Calm
-Communication
-Time and Space
-Reactiveness
-Restructuring
-Manifestation


-
Having your Bars run can help with:

-Depression
-Anxiety
-Lack of Self-esteem
-Trouble sleeping" 
Source: https://www.integrativehealingandwellness.com/access-consciousness-barsreg.html
 
What do y'all think? Is this stuff legit? Any personal experiences with this?
 

1) It is especially important to emphasize that identity is relative because people generally believe identity is a physical fact. Like, a cat is a cat. No, a cat is a cat only TO YOU. The universe at large draws no such distinctions.
And very importantly that means that your identity as a human being is relative. It is not absolutely true.
Yes, if you truly understood that everything is relative you would also understand that identity is relative, but it helps to emphasize the point.
2) All Actualized.org videos are basically about dialing in your inner game.

You don’t need to do anything external (I.e. any rite, ritual, or practice) to spiritually awaken. Spiritual awakening is not dependent upon the clothes you wear, your kriya yoga practice, psychedelics, mantras, affirmations, changing how you behave in any way shape or form, upon doing any “spiritual practice” or upon anything external. 
To open yourself to Unconditonal Love means you don’t need to change your life in any way! You are already perfect, whole and complete right here and right now. Our minds trick us into thinking happiness is outside of us; in a spiritual practice or a relationship. Happiness comes from within. This means you are free to do anything you want externally, you don’t need to use your minds anymore to tell yourself what to do or how to behave. For the purpose of spirituality is to transcend the mind entirely, not to use the mind to motivate us to do certain things that we think could bring us happiness. 
All that is required, all that was ever required is to focus within, upon your heart, or upon the breathing chest. Watch unlimited happiness grow, as it does for me more everyday.
Let your heart guide your external life. Let it show you the way in every second, because your heart is your true self, the infinite consciousness that always experiences a state of pure bliss.
Let this video further take this all important point home.
Learn to stop being a slave to your mind by coming into your hearts, by valuing Unconditonal Love more than anything else, more than any thought no matter how important it may seem.
https://channelhigherself.com/videos/satsang-with-the-self/how-to-stay-motivated-to-do-spiritual-practices-meditation-yoga-etc/
 

@Seed What would you say is the root cause of this?
Have you been working too hard? Sounds like you might need to slow things down and take more time for yourself, for fun. When doing highly creative work you need some outlets for breaks and diversion to recharge your batteries.
Like take a small vacation every 90 days.

@Sev Yes, any question and insight are welcome and helpful. 
 

No experience lasts forever. They all end. The only thing that can last forever is Nothingness and it is not painful.
So in the long run you can look forward to Nothingness  That is why enlightenment is the ultimate Good, and why God is ultimately Good.
There is literally nothing to fear. All fear is illusion. You just need to become conscious enough to see this. And that can only happen with death (enlightenment).
No ego, no problem.

Thank you so much for this episode, Leo. It resonates with and reactivates the knowing from the fresh 5-MEO experience that happened this past weekend.

When a human takes a powerful entheogen, there's no control of what the experience of the trip will be. It's like I was repeatedly fucking myself, giving birth to myself, and killing myself, and exploding to a timeless moment of nothingness. Imagine if all omnipotent GOD takes an entheogen, that would be the most infinite holy fuck of all time and space, with experience that's unimaginable and ineffable, the feelings created can be the most soul crushingly beautiful and insane mind shatteringly fucking brutal. 

The first trip was more challenging and scary, because going into it with fear, the fear will bleed into the experience and that "perfectly" becomes the lesson of that trip. Self-forgiveness and acceptance was the main theme of that first experience, it also serves as a purging, clearing, and opening for future experience. There's no right or wrong way of navigating this reality, only the conditioned ego mind comes in, put values on any experience, and judge it as good or bad. That's a very powerful realization.

Even though it was a fucking scaring first experience, it's all worth it because of the contrasting beautiful, love, peace, and knowledge on the other end. One cannot happen without the other, the both ends of the same stick, no matter how you try to cut one end, there's always 2 ends of 1 thing. If I listen to the bullshit of the reconstructed ego, I would not have done a second session the next morning. The feeling or knowing I got from the first experience told me I have more work to do, and I plunge myself into a second ceremony the next day.

The second ceremony was even more intense, coming into it with the openness and rawness of the first one. YOU CANNOT DO SURRENDERING! Don't try to remember to surrender or give up, because "YOU" CAN NEVER DO IT! If you think you "surrender", you have not "surrender". Surrender and death happens simultaneously, and that's when you're home... home with nothingness, peaces beyond words, and acceptance of all thing, including the small self and the ego that the ego has practicing and trying so hard to surrender. No one can express oneness and nonduality, no one. There's no sense, perception, or tool a human being have to touch it. It's only when the human construct is not around then THAT IS, just IS.

When coming down from peak, massive download of wisdom happened. I continue to experience reactivation and the understanding are still coming 2 days later... There's a lot of uncontrollable crying and intense laughing, it's both fucking hilarious and beautiful. 

All this BS words I've just shared, cannot be understood by the ego mind. I was on the other side, so I know I've tried. I've been there before the veil drops, so I know how strong, cunning, and aggressive the ego is, so arrogantly think I could figure this out on my own. Yeah, by the way, you can't figure this out, but you can't help it anyways, so just keep doing what you do for the time being, until you're ready to truly do the work and die. You cannot be there and experience God, the process has to annihilate you, then there is. 

There magnitude of God's hallucination or imagination will make you go insane. The human civilization can begin and end for billions and billions of years, and yet it's no time for God. It's scary when you imagine this human drama of pleasure and suffering can keep repeating for not millions of cycle, but billions and billions of cycle, and yet it's no time and nothing for God.

I have to apologize for sharing all these BS words, because it "impossible" to put them into words, just like you try to explain the concept of nothing or infinity, both can never be explained by "something" that is also "finite". All these are just residue experience of the real thing in words.

If I can only share one thing here in this reality or going into that reality, is TRUST and LOVE, and just let the process take over you, you HAVE NOT FUCKING CONTROL anyways... just trust and love, remind the ego self, trust and love. The ego cannot be gone in this realm of human interaction. You don't have to or need to make it pleasant for yourself or anyone, BUT, if you so inclined to, put in a virus or trojan horse into the ego, and infect everyone with Trust and Love. It would be like the come down phase of the 5-MEO, when you realize that you like to remind yourself and each other, it's all a game, everything before, now, and forever, is just God's ultimate trip.

Love and Trust to you all, brothers and sisters, and you, that sneaky bastard who hides behind all these mask. LOL!

@nex462 Your question is coming from fear and judgment. That is ego.
Rather than trying to find a way to avoid parts of yourself, embrace EVERYTHING!

You will forgive yourself as there is only you. There is Light in everything.
and that is the thing, your mind is in the way, if you find your form of meditation, the mind slowly surrenders and then you can actually see from a greater perspective beyond the minds walls and illusions that are holding you down and distorting the awareness you are within.
 

@RinneYou find ALL by losing all. Most things we hold onto are illusions and distractions to keep us from our infinite potential. Why do you think Monks/Yogis Fast from life altogether not just food/water and meditate in a cave? Because in the silence, in the darkness you hear all and see all.
When there is nothing to feed the mind/body/emotions ect.. you eventually calm down and see all there is to see in its natural, pure form rather than projected reality from subconscious patterning/conditioning.
The more you surrender everything you think you know and everything you think you are, the more room there will be for ALL THAT IS to flow its divine intelligence through you. This way you can be a direct extension of nature rather than resistant to the natural flow of life itself.
The greatest intelligence in the universe is the most simple and always ever-present but if we don't live in awareness of who we are, we never notice it.
 

fasting, fasting, fasting. Fast from life, from food, from society, from media, from people. Eventually there will be pure calmness, pure bliss, pure awareness where you "see" what truly is and the old patterns are eventually replaced with the new. Once you are hit with Truth, there is no otherwise.
Absolute surrender, you find all by losing and letting go of all.

Kundalini never ends, that simple. I'm constantly using it to rejuvenate myself, to stay in a state of bliss, to basically fo everything along with the Breath.
Everybody is different, take this with a grain of salt.
Go into your own Breath and discover this, anyone has the access. So the highest teacher you can shoot for if your Breath. 

@RaZor47 SERIOUS = NEUROSIS !!!
When you kick the bucket you will not take anything with you - not money, not personality, not a single thing you learned, not a single thought. NOTHING. 
When do you do your best work? Inspired, easy feeling, free, creative? Or - serious, pressured, tense, etc?
There is simply no justifying seriousness. 

You are programmed with inauthentic desires, dreams, cravings by culture just like a computer is conditioned by cookies on a website.