TriteNTrue

@faith you need to have some strategy to navigate the tough waters. The only thing you can control is you so really work on yourself to develop yourself to maximize your experience in life. Imagine you're white water rafting, you're better off with a better protection to navigate the waters. You're better of with a life jacket. Better yet: a raft. better yet:a paddle. Better yet: a speedboat . Keep improving your vehicle to navigate the waters.

@egoless this came to mind: when you read a post, do you read the comments before you decide to reply? if so try not doing so and respond based on your opinion. then go read the comments. It's like a form of speaking your truth and thinking out loud and will also force you to think deeply through your positions.

One of the values of getting older is 'experience'. Because this experience can also be a source of closed mindedness. You assume you know. But how does one balance that trust of being reasonably certain about something vs being open minded to being wrong? How deep do you sit on a stance or are you always in the prone position of being open-minded to challenge your own assumptions?

What is that process of accepting oneself 100%? Is it that as I discover aspects of myself I need to "accept" it. What exactly is that acceptance? Resignation (if it's a flaw) or forgiveness (if it's a source of guilt, shame, anger) etc. The way I've tried to accept myself is to try and understand some of my triggers which usually leads me to some painful truth, but I haven't been able to accept some of those truths so I keep resisting even though I'm aware of it and thus still get triggered. What is this acceptance? How does one truly forgive oneself ? Or is it a state of mind where one doesn't take things too seriously and just rolls with the punches.

@LRyan I can relate with the stress and emotion, I lost my dad earlier this year. The monkey mind preoccupies your with thought and actions. just sending you love . Keep your head up brother.

Observation without judgement or labelling seems like it would trigger the brain to be in constant overdrive thinking about not labelling an experience - "that's an beautiful sunset", "that's a fucked up house" etc. What really is it like to get to the point where you can observe without judgment that which you have always observed and judged?

@Elton Neither am I . When I do a body scan during meditation, I usually notice my heart rate, perspiration, muscle tension, busyness of the mind or a knot in my stomach in order to form a map of how I'm feeling. But these don't vary that much so I don't end up with a wide variety of emotions. I'm also very interested in tips from others.

When you get an emotion, what is the trajectory through the body/mind?

@jse how do we process emotions?

@HII I noticed that I am drained in social situations because I'm self-conscious, specifically about my accent. Though as I write this I may have to visit that notion... Essentially, when I'm around people when I can be my authentic self and speak freely, I tend to get drained less quickly. But I do need alone time afterwards to recharge and unpack my thoughts. *I think I think too much.

The last 2 years were a torrent of experiences for - got engaged, married, moved, quit my job to start my business and lost my dad. About a year ago, I discovered that I really wasn't self aware, I didn't know myself at all (marriage held up a mirror so that I could see myself more clearly) . Somehow I stumbled on Leos video about how to stop caring what others think about you, and I've been on the path since - meditating, reading books, applying myself where I can. My wife hasn't/isn't interested and I've really struggled as I've grown to cope with the same habits, triggers and attitudes of the past. She loves to listen to the material but isn't concerned with doing any of the work but instead is more focused on herself (beauty, self image, socializing etc). It's really frustrating and I have begun thinking along the following lines: As I grow, and If she doesn't, then we'll grow apart to the point where we don't connect on anything substantial - our consciousness will diverge, I'll lose interest and leave. I am becoming more aware of the triggers and underlying reasons why we fight and are unhappy. I won't get into them here but I realize that I have a lot of growth to do. The other half of me wants to use this as an opportunity to work on myself - figure out why I get triggered, understand myself more even though it comes in the form of negativity /angst from her. It's an opportunity to grow. Overall, we're not happy and have hurt each other through our words and actions. I think some of that is due to lack of self awareness and also because my wife doesn't take feedback/criticism well unless it's well tucked in her favorite pie (i.e. sugar coating). I don't even think i love her anymore, though I'm digging deep to see if the toxicity and all the life changes masks those emotions. So as I 'man-up' and become more assertive, I'm noticing a lot of changes both good and bad. Good because I realize that she wants me to take the lead. . Bad (for her) because now I'm showing a different side and i respond differently to her now as I let go of things that triggered me. I feel this is a common problem for those of us on this path. Do you lean in to your current strife and use it as a stepping stone or leave the toxic situation behind. Thoughts?