Everyday

Hey Finished the bitcoin standard. Lots of good info about money in general and finance. Having the massage exam next week. Studying at the moment. More studying and thinking about different things i want to do. Idk. I didnt feel my best today but the rest was good. I have some back pain today. Not sure if it's because the way i slept last night. What else?

Hey Work for my job was nice.I did well even if i overslept. Read more about money, crypto and so on. I am glad i started with this at last. My abs are still sore. Doing two workouts was a good choice. Im skipping breakfast more and more often. Fapping is still around. I like to eat what i am cooking each week. I have been cooking regularly for like 6 months i think. So awesome! I have been working out for like 3 months. But last month took it more seriously since i started this program. https://shop.jeffnippard.com https://store.e3rehab.com/products/thoracic-resilience https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=731JZdPGu7s

Hey Went to see my gramma with my brother. Is hard to see her suffer from so many health issues. Her spine is in a bad condition. I cant fathom the benefits of working out and eating well over decades. I weight 72.3 Kg. Other urges to eat junk food blah blah but i didnt give in. Cooked and it looks amazing. Brewed some more kombucha. Read more about bitcoin and money. I was shocked how much i dont know. My gramma likes to do crossword puzzles. Got a booklet from her. I dont know why i was surprised i couldnt even finish a quarter =)))))))))) More work on grammar man. One cool thing is that i caught myself making some mistakes but corrected myself immediately. It was so cool. Observed mistakes around me as well. All this stuff would just pass by my ears. Worked out. I liked it. Did two sessions of abs exercises. Boy it was challenging. First was harder. I am proud of myself. Nice day overall.

Hey Spent my time reading more about bitcoin and the history of currency and money. Fascinating. I am going to work abs today. I will use the shuffle abs exercises from the programme i bought. I can choose intensity lvl, equipment and specific zone or entire core. What else? Some gardening and cooking today. I want to use roe.

Hey Went to uni and it was really interesting. I spoke with a professor for my 3rd year project for graduation. Went to work. All good. Made some progress. Wed Worked out. Pushed myself even more. Used weights too for some exercises. Went to the old house to drink and ate with my old housemates. It was fun to see them all. Met the new barista at the bar downstairs. Apparently she had been working there for 3 weeks. I had a nice chat with her too. Cute. Was anxious to ask for her number. Too many ppl there. Combined too many drinks and got hammered. Arrived home while trying not to puke in Bolt. Immediately after i arrived i puked. My shoes where covered in that too. Arrived home and stripped to underwear. Started puking in the sink. Went to bed and puked besides my bad too. Thursday Woke up feeling like shit. I had puke in my hair too. I barely ate anything and i wasted most of the day. I felt like shit. Asked on of the owners to give me her number. Friday Better. A client called me and asked me if i can help him personally with his other business. I might get fired if my boss finds out but i will get experience and money. Listened talks about money. I am blown away. I know nothing about money Sat Worked out. I liked it. I did a challenge called the grinder. I had to complete double my number of pushups. I did 33. Second set i did 43. Stopped for a minute and got to 58. I had lots of breaks by planking. Did one pushups and planked waiting to recover for the next one. It was so awesome. Worked in the garden. Spoke with my brother about bitcoin, investing and etoro. He is using that for a year. Invested around $1000. He is not making profit right now. I talked to him about this. I was surprised how opened he was to tell me his experience. Turns out he isnt hardcore into it as i thought. I received a bunch of books and charts on bitcoin from on of the guys living in the old house. He is living only using bitcoin. I am learning more about bitcoin, investing and ethereum. I feel motivated to learn more, more in general. But annoyed of the guy who didn't give me her number yet. I see him online every 5 min he wont reply. He seen my message. He is a cool guy. I dont know why the fuck he avoids giving it to me. I am just upset on myself. I should have asked on the spot and i wouldn't be in this position.

https://store.gallup.com/p/en-ie/10003/cliftonstrengths-34

Hey On Thursday wanted to go the the old house but i was too tired. i worked out instead and read. My sis BF came over yesterday night. I was so tired but tried to be social. I didnt care much about what he had to say. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep. He kept talking shit. I got annoyed of his stupid advices about everything. This happened again this week. I dont remember where i was but someone was talking to me and i couldn't wait to end the conversation. Maybe it was at work or at home. Oh, yeah it was at home. My brother was telling me smth about his business and i tried to be nice and ask more questions. I wanted to finish the conversation so i could eat in peace. Today I had a productive day. It was tiring at the end. I feel good now. I had this amazing bodyweight workout yesterday. It pushed me to my limits. The workout today was awesome as well. Going to cook tomorrow again. The grammar book i bought is amazing. I get discouraged when i see how many mistakes i am making but i am fixing that. Added a couple on anki. Got a new haircut today. Looks better with a little bit longer hair on the sides. When i was waiting at the hairdresser i search online out of curiosity how much do weights cost. I was shocked. It was cheaper to may full equipment sets than to pay rent in previous places i lived last 5 months. WTF. I still have mixed feelings about that. It was a good experience but not that necessary in hindsight. I have some work for uni to do. I will. Cleaning my room and laundry tomorrow as well. Parents are arguing like all the time. I am still avoiding father. What else? I paid more attention to the cooking class this week. Those crazy ladies didnt speak that much shit this time. I notice ppl have more opinion on cooking than on massage. Here each person questions the chef's methods because they knew different. It's a mess. All these ppl are probably waiting for a change to tell him he's wrong. I need to work in my garden. Haven't for weeks. Not sure if they will start the course next month cuz is December and holidays are coming. I want to go to the doctor to consult the medic about my scalp and face dryness. Also about the marks on my back. I had a lot on nightmares last few days. Is not common for me. I had a wet dream last night. I was surprised. I was not doing no fap. Looking forward to work out tomorrow. New challenge. I was pissed i didnt start sooner. Is so fucking easy to follow this programme. I should have started earlier. I looked in the mirror for a few minutes after working out. I see my abs more pronounced. I didnt even knew i can get to this level. I am waiting to see more results in the future. I have been working out for 2 months now. It was smart to start small even if not practical. My old workouts where too limited. NYE was talked about. To be honest i dont want to go to my HS friends. I was not invited anyways. I dont want to spend too much money. I d like to just stay home this year. Doesn't sound cool but why bother? I was in the kitchen and we spoke with my sister. She got upset that i kept joking with brother and we didnt paid 100% attention to her. She ended the call for being ignored or smth. I was still laughing with my brother. Man, how her BF tolerates her? Same for brother. That girl gets upset like crazy. My brother and his GF want to move together soon at one of our studios for rent. My father made fun of her a lot. It was funny. Thing is she is super lazy. Like you have no idea hahaha. My parents kept insulting each other. Now, mom does it to =))))))))))))))

Hey On Sat went to uni to work. Saved some missed classes. Went to Dune again with my friend from uni. We got drunk and ate a lot. Walk home from the mall. A long walk. I cant recall what i did on Sunday. On Monday I went to a b-day party at the old house with all the foreigners. It was fun but i was too tired next day to go to uni. Last week a colleague from work asked me to help him with some ad texts. I wrote all of them with a bunch of mistakes. I didn't look over before sending. He noticed afterwards and got super angry. I was ashamed. This was exactly a week ago and he stills doesn't speak to me. I redneck girl from work annoyed me more than ever. She is speaking so much shit i am thinking to move to another desk. Even with headphones i can hear her speak about smth. Just shit. Only shit. I dont know how everyone else is listening to her crap. Wrote down how to do some campaign analysis. I was fast to say " i DunNo wHy thIS AccOunT DoEsN'T woRK MaN " without trying to think too hard why. my superviser facepalmed himself. He explained the basics again. I should have tried harder. I wrote down a bunch of grammar mistakes in my own language. I need to get this fix as well. I ordered a grammar book listing hundreds of grammar mistakes. I also found some diction lessons. I wanted to try harder to pay more attention to online classes. I have no idea what is going on at university. Some stretching, some working out, etc. My friend from uni got drunk as usual. He is around 45. He started speaking shit at a zoom class at uni. I was really sad for him. A colleague from work told us that if you aren't happy now you will never be. Yeah, is hard to do this. He told us about the life crises you got in your 40s. That lots of ppl wake up after wasting their life. I am afraid of that as well. I have to talk with a professor about my dissertation project. I have to take school more seriously. Working out went really well. I felt like shit again for a few days. Couldn't stop thinking of sex and regrets. I am not sure the massage class was a smart move after all. Oof. I could have fixed some problems about my life like grammar and shit like that. No driving this weekend. I was too afraid.

Hey Yesterday i worked out. I felt amazing. I used bands, pull up bar, weights and body weight. Fasted today for 16h Today i was productive but i didnt feel well. I want to see more results, faster overall. In different areas i am working on, all at once. Man, it was a hard day. I feel really bad. Just meh. Is really hard to accept myself as i am now while i work to change.

Hey My sister stayed for a few days here. She lives abroad now for her Erasmus studies. Her boyfriend invited me to pick her up from the airport together. He was really stressed to make everything perfect when she arrived. Bought a gift and flowers. I was surprised how annoyed my sister was of him. They even started arguing in the car back home. He seemed happier than she was. to see him. They argued some more over the time she was here. I bought some special paper for some homework for uni. Also, bought 4 nice shirts I cooked again for a few days. I used my mom's clay pot. Baked veggies with pork and red wine. My mom was upset they i am cooking instead of eating from what she prepared. Friend from uni invited me last week to join him on his 4 day trip to Italy. I refused because my sister came over. He got drunk each day as usually. He even wrote his ex's name on the class group chat by mistake. Didnt pick up his calls the first night. But i did the following day. He told me what he always tells me when he is drunk: get a gf, wtf? you didnt fuck since you broke up with your ex?, why arent you having more sex?, you wont be young forever and so on. It makes me very uncomfortable. He told me about what a dick was with this girl. Man, i dont know how he gates this girls. He treats them like shit yet, still gets called back. But he is over the top like calling his exes when he is drunk and then blockout. He always tells me about his extensive experience with girls. He was amazed i am not having another girl on the side while i was with ex or that i find it hard to date and so on. I am embarrassed. So hard to express this. He was very confused why i chose to stay home to see my sister instead of going with him. I told him i also want to spend my money on courses and other stuff at the moment. He kept saying how important is to travel. I dont really see it as important at the moment. Travel for a week and return to your shitty life for the rest of the month? What is the point? Why not just invest in courses and stuff that makes you better in the place you live? Kept working out that weekend. It was fun. I focused on my back. I felt so much better afterwards. I dont know what happiness and success is anymore. I compared the ppl from the house i lived in with my friend from uni. Some have careers some dont. Some have traveled some didnt. But i see my friend from uni being so miserable and getting drunk so often i dont know why. His life resembles the one from the ppl i lived with. But they are so much happier. I think so. This week: I worked out on monday morning but nothing since then. Maybe some light stretching. Went to BBQ at the old house. I was super tired but it was fun. I made the BBQ again. I was surprised no one wanted to take care of the buying part even if most of them were home all day. Anyways, i got drunk as fuck and it was really fun. Lots of joking. I was also super horny. I fapped like crazy when i returned home. On Tuesday i went to uni in the morning. i was so tired i fell asleep on the floor when i returned from work. On Tuesday i impulse bought two watches. Then i figured out one of them is really shitty. It was so cheap cuz it sucks. The other one is pretty. Wednesday: Was late at work. All good but i didnt pay enough attention on a task and felt embarrassed. Looked for shoes to buy next month. Found pretty ones. Lots of texting and making of professors and our colleagues with my friend from uni. I wanted to eat junk food to feel better. I felt shittier by the end of the day. It was a hard day. In January i will reach one year of working at this agency. Wow. WTF?

hey I woke up late but did really ok with my work. Exercised too. I sweat a lot. I was not training enough previously. It was smart to buy a work out programme

Hey I still didnt cook, Did new ab exercises. Really enjoyed that. Spent extra time at work to finish what i had to do. I managed the stress ok, but i have a lot of room to improve. I finished work at 20 yesterday and today at 21. Went to uni this morning. It was actually interesting. Especially in the lab. Didnt go to the old house to have lunch with them. I am to fucking tired for that.

I forgot to mention on the last night at the old house i played a board gaem with some ppl and an american. I got confused by the game's rules and made a mistake. This affected the whole game. He got so upset that he is not going to win man.. It was cringe. He is older than me. He reacted like a child. It was just a game. Man, all but one of the americans i met so far were ok. All the others just drama queens, complaining a lot and pussies lol. Wtf is going on with them. All of us, his wife included had to calm him down.

'sup Moved my stuff on Sunday and i felt mixed feelings about returning home. Returned same day to sleep at the house i have been living so far. I spent that night hanging out with flatmates. I regretted staying so much in my room being sad. Monday i went to have a BBQ there after work. I made the BBQ and i got a lot of compliments for it. I ate together with them and had some good wine and rum and so on. It was fun. I will miss that place but is not smart to pay 50% of my salary just to pay rent. Is weird i feel resistant to buy smth for myself vs paying rent or smth. Drove a little. Horror. I wont get a scholarship this year. The uni doesnt have enough money. Came home and kept ignoring my father. I still do. He is still upset blah blah. I feel very tired. Is stupid to try so hard to compensate 23 years of being lazy in just a couple of months. But i still feel bad for not doing more. I am very ashamed to admit but last few weeks i really felt i want a gf. I really feel like i need one now. My legs and back are better. I kept fasting until noon these last few days.

Hey Went to bed at fucking 5 am. Couldn't sleep right. Cleaned my room and gathered my stuff. I feel almost zero motivation to get all prepared today. Same i felt last time before i moved. Im waiting for my brother to pick me up. Meeting with a friend later today My legs are sore as fuck man. Like dead.

Hey Had my 1st workout from the athlean-x xero programme. This one is just for bodyweight. I found it funny that i can do 30 pushups at once but my feet are shaking after 10 squats ahahhahahahaha. I was sweating like a pig after 40 min. Had pizza and beer with flatmates. I feel lazy to leave from here. I got used to it. A thing i noticed is that is easier to eat just when i am hungry vs eating with my parents even if i am not hungry just because is lunch. I find it so convenient that i was able to eat when i felt hungry instead of set schedule. I ate around 19, 1st meal of the day for example. What else? Read more from the fasting book. Besides this i was lazy. I slept until 11. I find it hard to go to sleep early.

Hey Woke up tired. Logged in at lab but didnt pay attention. Had a meeting with the google stuff as well but didnt even bother to listen to it. Again, procrastinated on work. One of the clients noticed his ads are showing combined and they are wasting money. I appolgized and changed everything. I didnt even notice that problem.. Beginner mistake. Mother said i should call father and apologies. What else? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sfYpolGCu8

Hey Went to bed late and woke up tired. Barely could listen to labs online. Actually woke up at 12. Felt a little better. Did back exercises but with more reps. Trained my forearms as well. I always neglected them. I stressed all day about the account progress i had so far. I worked a little bit but got distracted by daydreaming. What else? Spoke a little via messages with brother and sister. Ignored my father calls. My brother told me he is going to call me and i have to apologise. No thank you. More messages with my friend from university and high school friends. Wanted to do something else as well today. Meh. I dont feel my best. I am revising some dutch flashcards and going to read some more of the fasting book as i did yesterday I fasted until 18.

Hey Woke up a wreck. Tired as fuuuck. Went to work. Managed stressed well i think. I still avoid hard work by default, especially if is new. I need to prepare a mail for a client about last 3 months. To my stupidity i didnt check the account's progress all this time. Only optimised at micro level. The account had more sales blah blah but could have been better... i was just fucking lazy. Several ppl from work smoke and drink cola. I think is also their way to cope to stress. I tend to spend it big time on junk food but i usually go big on damage. Like extra large menu, not just a cola or something. Just tonight i was thinking to buy some junk food cuz it was this stressful situation with that client. But dont really want to spend that money. This girl said she felt depressed and bought cola. She drinks one a day. One time i asked her why she doesnt buy big bottles, just small ones. She felt offended, said she's trying to stop drinking gradually. I was shocked. I thought he just likes it and doesnt want to quit. Wow. I wont get a scholarship this year cuz they dont have money and my grades aint that high. The veggies i made last week went bad. The meat is doing well. The massage exam got canceled due to covid. Maybe at the end of next month we will start again. Someone made tofu with beans. I liked it a lot. I thought is meat. When he heard that he went nuts about how ppl eat meat and so on. I found it very annoying. Dont see the point, is just food for me. One of the ppl who moved in this house is an arab guy living in the west. He scolds other housemates for drinking and smoking. I found it funny in the beginning but now is just annoying. I have a guy at work who says he is into spirituality and cant eat meat anymore due to his "improved vibration". Yet, he is overweight. He went to vipassana several times but there was not a single day to see him drinking cola or smoking tobacco. Lol. How that works? He said he isnt stressed and i felt embarrassed to call him out on his bullshit. Srsly? He has a problem with meat but cola and tobacco are ok?

One day i will be like that too. Wtf was i doing at 23?

Lol. Almost a year ago!

Watching so much movie recaps each day after work doest well, work! I am not ok with this. Also, going to sleep late because of it isn't good either. I need to stop doing that. It ads no value to me. I keep thinking i am 23 and wasted my youth blah blah. But i am also wasting time after work most of the time. C'mon. Cant believe im 23. I havent done much but this age. Feels so old. Like in 7 years i am 30 and that was my 20s. WTF. One year wasted in NL, two years here. Yeah, great... God, i am so fucking behind. It will make me feel better to not jump into movie recaps after work. Tomorrow, right?

Hey Woke up and fell asleep again. 100 abs exercises - chose to do harder ones. Smoothie, styled my hair and was satisfied with the end result, etc. Arrived at work late again. Did well at work but it was tiring. I received 2 new accounts. Got more chill with calling that client. They agreed to spend more on CPC. Arrived home. Studied and fell asleep. Ate with flatmates. Played a game with them. Came in my room. Watched yt. Is not ok to just train abs, chest and arms. I will have an imbalanced body. I will train other muscles as well. Mom and sis asked me how am I. Dont know what to say. I am ok but i dont look forward to come home. Too much drama. Is expensive to live in this house but i am calmer. I didn't notice this last few weeks but is lots of stress and drama at home. I told my father what he does at family business is not work. Brother heard to and didnt contact me since that night. I guess he felt attacked too. Mom told me is my fault blah blah i should accept my father is this way. Blah blah. He got upset that i told him all he does is to sit at tv and just work 6 h. And he calls me lazy? WTF? He spoke nonsense. I got annoyed and left. He reminded all of the money i wasted in NL. He told me and brother we wont be as successful as he is blah blah. And other shit but it really made me upset to hear that shit. I dont know if i will get my scholarship this year. They dont have budget for that. One of the girls from this house messaged a me lot and seems fond of me. I just got super annoyed i have to answer to her messages. Noticed i still find it hard to actually care what other tell me. Is so fucking difficult to pretend i care lol. What else? I am starting with warm water at showers but finishing with cold ones. I use cold water for hair and face. I keep getting dried skin tho. Looks like dandruff in beard and moustache. I guess i need more excitement in my life? Idk. Maybe a book? Writing down the good stuff i did? Not sure at all. I am better than i have been in a long time but i just dont feel like it. Dont know what else to do. It takes time to keep getting better and better. Years and i am so impatient.

Hey I woke up and did 100 abs exercises. Logged in for a class and prepared for work. Arrived at work and i found it hard to focus on work and also paying attention to class. Back pain and felt pressure to finish more stuff at work. I even wanted to avoid tasks cuz i found them hard. I feel sore as fuck. I think i exaggerated with training two days ago. I was very into daydreaming all day. I was tempted to eat junk food. Went to the massage group. Ate with flatmates. I calmed down from the argument i had with father. I was thinking if i should return home or not at the end of the week. What else? Turns out one of the girls from the massage group who i thought is like 26 is actually 36! Wow. She told us she still has no idea what she wants to do with her life. She is really awesome. She told us or the career paths she changed. How she started on different paths but didn't have the strength to finish. wow. I was shocked to hear that. Her opinion puts things into perspective.