Everyday

Hey Tuesday Met with a 22 year old girl. She looked at me and idk, she felt off and said let's go after one hour. I should have ended the date sooner. Long day at uni and some work from home After the date i went home and drank a bottle of wine with my sister and her boyfriend. Told them how tinder works. Let them message some girls. They were shocked how stupid/ arrogant/ weird these girls are. Wednesday Messaged Teo and she replied to my surprise. She is the girl i like so much. Very long day at work at the office and uni Met with a 20 year old girl at the same cafe as yesterday. Escalated quickly - touched her hips, held her hand, told her she is cute and beautiful, kissed her head and forehead. All while at the cafe. We didnt have much to talk about. I didnt like her. On the way to the subway i kissed her and touched her butt. We continued at the subway and i was surprised she let me do that. I didnt care since i didnt like her. She kept asking me if i like her, what am i thinking, if i am meeting with other girls. Thursday Very loooong day at the office and a little of university labs. Met with 2 friends and told them of how many dates i had and about Teo. They cooked for me. It was nice. I was proud to see on their tv that i new episodes and tv series dropped recently and i didnt know. Havent watched shit in 2 months. Wow. Met with a girl at a bar with which i spoke for 3 weeks. She was 24, a med student. She looked at me and her excitement faded. She took her hand out of mine. I tried to make it work for 2 hours. I should have ended the date sooner. I asked Teo if she wants to go out again next few days. She said she is super busy but maybe on Sunday. Felt so excited. Friday Went to work at the office and a little bit at university. It was boring there. Felt excited to meet Teo again in a few days. I decided to cancel the date i had scheduled for that night and meet instead with the 20 year old from Wed. On the way to meet with her i ran into a girl from HS and spoke a little. Told her i am busy to go out and that i have a 2nd date. We met at a bar. I realized she has strabismus. I tried to focus on just one eye. I had to make conversation for an hour and a half. She didnt have anything to discuss about. It was so boring. She had a sad life and made me feel bad about speaking with her and being nice. I asked her if she wants me to take her home. She said yes. Went to her place and met her roommate and a friend. Cool people but i was ashamed i am a 24 year old dating this girl i dont even like. They left and we had sex. I didnt expect to be honest. She had much more experience than i thought. She said i can fuck her without a condom but i declined. We wanted to change positions when we realized the condom broke. She freaked out. We took a bolt to get a pill and back to her place. Left her at the dorm room and left home by subway. What a fucking day. Arrived home and told my siblings and their partners what happened but without the condom part. They guys where like yeaaah man! I also meditate and did my back exercises. Today, Saturday Woke up at 9 and did my routine. Checked if i got some disease from that girl Did exercises with my brother. Worked on my university project. Waited to message Teo again to confirm the date. Messaged her and she didnt replay. I kept checking my phone. I felt lame and desperate. Celebrated my brother's b-day. Didnt drink and i felt so tired. He turned 26. OMG. Last few days i did my routine really late at night. What a fucking week, lol. I should ask girls if they want me to take them to their place more often. So simple. Next level. Felt bad i care so much about Teo, even got a cute present for her. So lame. I should mind my own business. Here i am going mad of her not replaying to me as soon as i am used to. Also, i should have worked more on my project for uni. Some shit to do there as well. Felt bad i spent money on dates and so on. Why am i so desperate to get Teo? Why? I need to focus on myself and stop getting so triggered of her. I hope we meet tomorrow but again, i have no idea how will it go like. She doesnt seem interested in me like i am. And this is ok. Move on.

Interesting enough i feel more comfortable now speaking about dates with my siblings. Interesting. I have just 2 months and 2 weeks left of this semester and that project. I DONT have 5 months anymore. I got stuck in January aha. I cant believe i am close to be done with this shit. That project at uni? That motherfucker is leaving again so no project as i hoped. I will work on the written part. I am stressing about that again haha. I am learning what i want and dont want in a girl and this is very useful. Lots of stuff to learn and practice. I need this experience so much. I liked the girl from last week, Teo, so much because she has some stuff i want as well. For example confidence. I cant get that from her. I have to build that step my step on my own. I have a date tomorrow and 2 others at the end of the week. The girl from tomorrow is cute and the other 2 are not so cute =)))) I am not looking forward to work and go to uni tomorrow. Meh

Hey Asked my father to not insult my mom. He started yelling at me too. I see now why i avoid telling my opinion most of the time and why i expect bad things to come with it. Maybe that is the reason i feel uncomfortable telling a girl i dont want to see her again. I am afraid of a blow out. Its not the case. I set up 2 days for next week. I am not excited to meet this girls. But i need experience. Lots of it. No message from her and what did i expect? After the date she thanked me for taking her out after what day she had. I am taking dates too seriously. She didnt seem to care much if we meet or not that day. Just a date. Doesnt mean shit. I have smth to learn from this. Why am i bothered of this so much really? Because i wanted to show my friends i can get a gf too. Pff. Isnt not even about my siblings anymore. It is about showing my friends i am cool by getting a gf? Lol. Why not being cool taking some courses or learning smth new or working out? Why does it have to be a GF? Lol. Look, if you are so stressed stop telling them about these dates. Maybe this will help me get this pressure off for some time. Anyway i plan to avoid going out very soon. Anyways, i was thinking to write for my university project like right now. I didnt do much last week. Just a little bit tonight. This is a priority man. Goodnight

Wrote her on Friday night. She replied with a few sentences and didnt answer after that. She replied yesterday "sorry forgot to answer i was out in town". I said no problem, im going out tonight as well. She didnt answer again. This cold-warm method is getting to my head. I dont think she liked me as i liked her and its ok. My life is good and keep getting better. Too bad she didnt replay but is clear i would suffer more after a relationship with a girl i like so much. I will ask her out again tomorrow. Not sure she will replay and it's ok. I will try at least. I dont like how much this date got to my head. I didnt feel like this for a long time. And when i did it wasnt so strong. It is ok. It bothers me i care about it. I am thinking i shouldnt. Next thing? Date other girls and get more experience. I am speaking with other girls now. Let's see what will happen. We met. It was fun but i think next time i wont stay for such a long time. One girl from the high school group is pregnant. Wow. Shes only 24. When she said it i only thought i didnt have sex in the last 4 months. Everyone with his one problems. Did some exercise alone and with my brother. On Friday i didnt want to exercise at all because i was bothered she didnt replay to me. For sure i felt much better afterwards. What else? I have some stuff to finish for work and i want to work on my project for university. Also, i want to do some gardening. I passed all exams. Not sure if already told you that. My parents are again arguing. Nothing new. My friends want to go to Greece 10 days in summer but my siblings already organised a trip there this summer. I dont think i have enough money for both. Especially that i want to save money for that business.

I had a date last Friday but she cancelled because of work. I said no problem and i felt she warmed up to me. She seemed cold. But she was fun. We didnt speak a lot and i asked twice if she still wants to go out. If i didnt ask again one day prior we would not have met. She didnt seem to care much and i want to get to that point. We met yesterday. She was more beautiful than i saw in pics. She was charming, fun and sexy. We both laughed a lot. She was warm in person. She was smart and sweet. Wow. The conversation between us was good. I can do better next time. She was good and making conversation as well. After the date she was expecting to hold hands. Last GF was shocked when i grabbed her hand. We walked some more and i kissed her. She was waiting for it. It went really well and it was so smooth. We kissed and hugged more and it was awesome! She bit my lip and i was like - this girl is nuts ahah! At the end of the date she was surprised i paid for our drinks. She said she went out with me because i was chill and fun. She apologized for being late. No problem man. I didnt expect to go that well based on how she seemed online. Wow. Now i am thinking she will ghost me. I dont want to bother her too much with messages. I would like to meet her again in weekend or next week. I went on a date with her just to go on a date. Didnt think she is that cool. I ran into some colleague from middle school who bullied me at some point. I met him last time last year. He looked at me and shook hands while i was at the table with this girl. I was so afraid to date back then so he and his friends wont make fun of me. So there i was and the guy didnt give a fuck. The girl didnt care either. No body cared. Wow. It was a moment of tremendous growth. I would have died if this happened back than. So last week spoke to go out with some girl and rescheduled 3 times. She got upset and i didnt feel like going out with her. She didnt message me and i didnt message her and that was it. I was supposed to meet a girl today but i didnt like her vibe. She didnt replay to my last messages so we didnt meet at all. I didnt feel like it anyways. Another girl stopped replaying to me. Another ghosted me after i told her i have 1.70m. Some other girls didnt replay. I am speaking with a few others now. Maybe i will meet them. So i would really like to see this girl more! Last date i had in January wasnt as good. I was like meh. Next time move on sooner. So many shit to learn and experiment. I also learned to be more chill about these dates. What else? Got drunk last Saturday but didnt blackout. I woke up and drank again at 8. Smoked as well. By 11 i was done. After some junk food i went home. Met with siblings at a BBQ. Got drunk again. Met with other friends at 20 =))). The waiter spilled the drinks on us. What a night! Getting drunk with my friend wasnt as nice as last time. He was annoying. I will take a break from drinking with him for a while. He kept speaking shit about me while getting drunk and i should have left. He does this each time but now it was more annoying. Met with the 3 guys from high school i met last month. Nothing changed that much. Turns out 3 of us had sex with same girl and the 4th one had sex with her sister =))))))))))))))))) Lol. I was in shock. The 4th guy even had a relationship with that girl for 8 months. Wow. She broke up with him last year and he didnt move on. He met another girl, went on a few dates with her and after that they have been speaking for 3 months. He didnt have the balls to ask her out again. I dont understand why the girl keeps speaking even if they dont meet. I asked one of them some dating advice and it was quite good. I need to work harder on myself. I need more dates. He told me he had many failures. He told me to keep going. I stopped speaking with him in high school because i was pissed of him telling me about his dating life all the time. I could have got some nice advice. Worked on my uni project last Saturday but nothing since than. Just work and being too tired and going out. I organized a meeting with friends this week and now i dont want to go that much. Maybe it will be fun. IDK when i will go out with them again. I feel like i need a break. Does it make sense? Eliza - Wasn´t Looking | A COLORS SHOW

Hei Yesterday's exam was a joke. I was worried we will take the test with the professor but we had it with his assistant from the lab. Pff. Everyone cheated. I am mad i didnt cheat even better, lol. After the exam i got a huge burger with schnitzel. Wasnt as good as i remembered but i wanted to get one for a few weeks. Came home and worked. Offered to help a colleague of mine even more. I feel pity for her. She has around 30 accounts and i only have 3 and a tone of free time. After work i did some exercise and wasted some time online on FB and Insta. Insta wasnt as wow as i made it to be when i didnt have access, last 2 weeks. I am thinking to cut these apps again. I didnt miss anything since i was gone. Also, spoke with some girls on tinder. Yesterday's night girl cancelled a few hours before the date. No worries. Spoke with some more girls. Most of them didnt replay. I spoke to have a date with one of them next week on Wed. She is hot. Let's see what happens. I am trying smth new again. To not message them daily until we meet f2f. How about messaging them tomorrow or on Monday? I would look less obsessed and more easy going. I did some exercises with my brother yesterday night as well. That was pretty much the whole day. I am looking back on the last 3-4 weeks of studying and i am fucking happy. No tv series or movie reviews, exercising, studying and doing my routine each day. Fucking awesome! I visualized passing all exams and i worked to pass them. Updates: I am scared i will fail having so much free time on my hands again. It is ok to be afraid. But i am taking care of my habits and myself. I am amazed of what i am doing. I will soon hit 2 months doing these habits. Amazing. Just wow. I woke up late and wasted time online. Worked out and visualized. Worked on my project for uni for longer than ever even if i wanted to say "it is enough for me". I am more resilient now. Wow. In a few weeks i will have this project almost done haha. I am going tonight to get drunk as fuck with a friend =))) Meeting with some other friends tomorrow night and next week. I will have some dates. Good stuff. I asked some girls what should i do with all this free time. They said watch tv ahha =)) No thanks. I will also tell my friends i dont feel like watching 6 hours of the last of us. Meh. I am so proud of myself. Fucking amazing!

Hey I had less to work today and didnt asked for more work. I used the free time to study for that exam. The management professor is comparing in his notes an impulsive manager with Hitler! This man is nuts! I spent some time on Facebook. I stopped each tome since i didnt have anything interesting to watch. I wanted to check my exes but stopped on time. Wanted to check some tv series. Tho, I checked some ppl from high school. Not good memories. I remember feeling envious when i saw this guy getting GF after GF. I felt stupid not getting more experiences last few years. I am dealing with all of that shit. I have so much to learn. Now it makes sense why i didnt want to be single again after each GF. I need to get more dates to show myself i dont need to suffer anymore next to a shit person. Anyway, keep working on yourself. Congrats for not watching tv series for over a month and 17 days. Next thing would be to cut facebook. My siblings went skiing. I am glad i didnt join them to study. Also, wanted to save up money and i did. I asked my brother why he had this trip if he doesnt have money. He said he took money from the business he has with father and will put them back. He said his GF would get mad for not leaving at all. She never worked and gets all the money from her parents. Her mom doesnt say i dont have money like our dad. She complains that my brother doesnt have more money to travel more.

Hey I have 13 more days to finish this month. I received from a colleague some of the problems we have to learn for the next exam. I forwarded them and i was surprised my colleagues didnt start studying yet. Wow. And i was stressing over here lol. Spoke a little more with these girls from tinder. I moved the date with the second girl several times. She didnt like this and seemed annoyed i didnt go out with her sooner. Hmm. She said if i reschedule one more time she will get upset =)))) I dont have regrets, i wanted to study now instead of seeing her. University is much more important than some date. I wanted even more today to watch some tv series. I am almost done with exams. It will be fine. I tried smth different this morning. After doing those exercises for my back i worked our for around 15 minutes. I did pull ups, push ups and some squats. Wow. It was so simple and fast! One girl from tinder replayed after 3 days. She said she forgot about the app. I wonder how it feels to be at that level not even caring if you got a match or not. Not even worrying like me that i am loosing matches if i dont enter daily on the app. Wow. Another girl stopped speaking with me after we didnt go out last weekend. Interesting. Am i desperate for trying so hard to date from this app? But i know tinder got me more date and experience than any other place or app. Hmm. Maybe i will try speaking with girls i find interesting on Instagram even if it feels weird for now. I dont know if i said it here i spoke twice on chat with a nice girl from the SEO department. The second conversation was better but i think i bothered her. I should have talked to her at the Christmas party but i got too drunk. Didnt know what to tell her. I remember that. I really wanted to watch some crap online. Really wanted to watch some shit on YT and so on. I was thinking of Ariana today. I find her style inspiring. From being an actress in Victorious to where she is now. Her style is also very different. I wonder where all this confidence comes from. Just wow. I want that kind of confidence. I also want more experience in dating so what i need to do is more dating! Ariana Grande - 34+35 (Official Live Performance) | Vevo

Hey I am studying for the last exam at management. Soooo fucking boring . The other group said most of them passed but i need at least to read all courses. I passed all exams so far as i just found out today. I am closer to finish this college. Paid for my mom's massage course for advanced students. My father said he doesnt have the money for it because he borrowed too much for that vacation house. I grew up hearing all the time we dont have time. The guy from the mushroom lab didnt message or call me. I am quite sure he did nothing since last month. Lol. Why am i surprised haha? I should have checked on those bags but i felt lazy to do it. Off. I set up 2 dates and i am feeling anxious. I am curious how they will be like. I havent watched porn, tv series for over a month and a half. Amazing. But today i really wanted to watch some crap. I had some bad dreams last night. I didnt use Instagram for maybe over a week and it feel well. Really do. But i still want to check it for no purpose. My friends told me to watch a tv series 5 weeks ago. They dropped one episode per week. I saved 5 hours! Wow. That's half of a book man. Wow. So some profiles of 19 year old girls on tinder and i felt inspired. If they can dress better and work out so should i. I am 24 already. I need to put more effort into dating and improving this part even if i still feel anxious. I am new to this. Literally had my 1st date last august. I need more dates to get more experience. I am thinking to take it easy once i go on these dates. I can work on my uni project for some time and listen to a book. Also, i can drive. I went out with friends last night and didnt stay for too long. I didnt feel as drained. I have to think more about this point. We went to eat junk food afterwards and i ordered less than i would usually do. It is an improvement. Next time i meet with them i will try to drink less/ get a lemonade or smth. I need to see how i feel sober. One of my friends asked me if i am feeling excited about going out with those girls. I said not really. They arent "wow". I didnt manage to get any of them out with. Or they just arent on the app to care much. If i would wait to get a date with a cool girl i wouldnt get more experience faster... I am working to stop replaying to girls that arent giving me a good vibe or arent even in the city. It is time wasted. I dont feel good talking just to talk with a girl. I am trying to understand girls who want to brag/ be admired but dont want to go out with anyone on tinder. Last year i spoke with a girl would just wanted to talk about her achievements, not really date. I dont get that. I dont feel better telling these girls my achievements or telling them my problems for attention. I dont get it right now. I was thinking about my new schedule after exams. Hmm. Writing for that uni project, going to the lab, working out 3 times a week, finishing psychocybernetics, driving, etc. Hmm. I dont feel as sleepy as i was when i first started to avoid watching these tv series. Interesting.

Hei That boost i had yesterday talking with girls is gone. I am back at trying to make the conversation going. It is frustrating but is ok. I will keep trying and getting better. Dont get discouraged and keep trying. I am learning from these experiences. Off I have an exam tomorrow. The exam is online but we have to take it from uni. Makes no sense. Worked out today but i didnt really wanted to. My wrist is fine. I did pull ups and push ups. I felt too stressed with this stupid exam. I was thinking to get some nice gifts for my female friends for the 1st of march. Why tho? They have boyfriends. Let them be nice. As i said i am feeling drained being nice with my friends lately and i dont know why. I was glad i had exams so i can tell them i am busy. I was telling them how i want to organize going out all of us after exams but i am not so sure i want to. I think it will be exhausting for me. I remember now i felt the same in high school. But i do want to meet with other friends. To be honest i would love to watch a bunch of tv series after i finish exams. If i was living alone i would also buy a bunch of junk food to celebrate. My family doesnt order food often because my father says we dont have money. Each week we look in the fridge and say we dont have what to eat and he gets upset. He still spends his money on his vacation house. So stupid. But i really want to keep abstaining from watching that crap all year. I do feel better. And i can also pause tinder a few weeks each month. To have time to think and not stress about work and my routine. That sounds good. I can be sure i read one book per month and did other important stuff and after that for a week or two i can use tinder. Sounds good. I m trying a new haircut but it doesnt look nice right now. Need to wait for longer for my hair to grow. I have 50 pages and i am done with reading for tomorrow s exam. I felt an urge to watch a shitload of tv series today. Spending time replaying on tinder made me feel i am wasting time. Maybe thats the reason?

Hei Studying was slow and difficult all day. I spent too much time on tinder. One of the girls wanted to go out tomorrow but i moved it after exams next week. I mean she asked me to go out after talking "spicy". Wow! I would not expect that. Used this on the other girls and they just got along. Wow! I kept it polite and didnt push too much. I am surprised. Let's see if i really go out with these girls and how can i keep it up f2f. Two of these girls asked me why i dont reply faster lol. I mean i have an exam and other stuff to do lol. I need to tell these girls i am not interested instead of ghosting. One of them asked me why i didnt message her again while i was sleeping. Lol. I asked my sister for advice for fun. So i wrote to her "i got back with my ex, she's pregnant" =)))) We both laughed so hard. The girl said good luck =))) Another one was super pushy and i got a bed vibe from her. She kept asking me if i got bored of her, why am i not replaying and so on. It was too much. Matched with same girl again from last year. This time we spoke for longer. She was meh and bitchy but i am getting better. I made fun of her and it worked. Same with the other girls. What thing id like to improve is to stop speaking with the girls who arent even making an effort. With some of them i start with the left foot and it doesnt get better. They dont put effort into the conversation and i waste time. Some of these girls are really bitchy and you cant even talk to them. Skip them.

Hello I passed the exam from Thursday. It wasnt as hard as i expected. I was anxious. I met with friends afterwards. It was fun. I was envious on my friends being in a relationship. Me and a friend where the only singles from the table. Walked by foot for almost 4 h that day. Awesome. They asked us "wen GF" and i found this question annoying. I did feel uncomfortable seeing them together. But i do have time for some dates as they have time to maintain a relationship during exams. But i was happy i studied last few weeks instead of going on dates. It would have been stupid. We have a new couple in our group. He got his 1st GF at 24, almost 25. They are very horny and it did make me feel uncomfortable being single and seeing them all over each other. I need to get some dates and take care of this part of my life as well. But i am not sure i want a GF yet. It feels such a huge investment of time, especially with a girl i dont like that much. So i turned on my tinder profile that night. I need more experience and i can make a schedule for this as well. I got some matches and one girl replayed to me she's in the hospital after a surgery .... Man..... are you so bored that you get tinder in a hospital? Instinctively i asked how she feels and blah blah. After that i unmatched her. What am i doing? She's just bored af and i fell in her attention seeking trap. Cmon... I tried to speak more "spicy" and girls didnt run away as i expected. Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, i spent almost 2 h on tinder and didnt realize when it happened. I felt guilty. I need to set a schedule for that app. I even wanted to watch some tv series and take it easier. Just an exception. I have to read around over 100 pages by Monday. I couldnt study while at work because i was full. Is boring to be honest. I realised i want to learn about trees and plants to impress and help ppl. I want them to like me and maybe i can make that happen if i help them on this part. Pff. On the other hand, i feel motivated to learn about seo for myself. I have 2 exams left. Yay. I will have more free time to work out and for uni project afterwards. I worked out once a week lately. It is ok. I was thinking of this guy i want to start a mushroom company. He got busy with some shit again and didnt do anything since we last met. Lol. What did i expect? I am glad i didnt just listen to him and took it easy. I am glad i didnt wait for him to get his shit together. Next step is to make some substrate and grow those shrooms at home. Soon. What else? I managed to save more money this month. Speaking about friends: I do want to have friends but lately i felt drained hanging out with them. It feels just too much and i dont know why. I am trying to be a good friend but is exhausting to be nice and ask about their life and progress. It feels forced and i feel tired. I am trying to find reasons to avoid seeing them so often. I dont know why. Is it just me? I was thinking to start that Masters program in autumn. Maybe i shouldnt wait for that guy to get his shit together and really start his business and just mind my own shit. I could have got into advertising sooner if i didnt wait for him to start production. Also, i feel bad i cant be a partner because i dont know what to do. But it feels annoying he wants ppl to do his work. I mean he isnt 100% in this project. He wants ppl to take care of it while he does smth else. It is so sad to see him like this. He is 34 and still cant get his shit together and use discipline to start this company for good. What am i doing? I lack self confidence to start it on my own. Pff.

Hmm, it was also a mindset i dont have time for certain things. During this time i worked and a few courses. I moved out twice, etc. It was time.

Hey I had a full day at work. I will study for tomorrow's exam now. Went to bed earlier but took some while to fall asleep. I noticed is easier to fall asleep without listening to music or smth. I used to watch movies each night to fall asleep. I couldnt tolerate the thoughts i would have after wasting a day so that helped. Hmm. But now is much better. Already completed 15% on this month hehe. I feel good about myself and my progress. Also, not comparing myself with ppl from Instagram makes me feel better about myself. I would like to do more besides work and studying but each time i try i feel stressed and that "i dont have time" feeling. For now i will just do these 2 things for now. I have one more week and that's it. I have all the time to do more afterwards. I dont need to rush, just to maintain my routine. Doing these habits and abstaining from others is the backbone to do even more amazing things. Not watching tv series is fucking huuuuuge for me. I felt this degree is taking forever since the start, 4 years ago. I have changed a lot. It feels it has been 10 years. It feels like last year of high school. I am waiting to finish to do more stuff. But i have to keep the discipline to do those things.

Hey I had problems sleeping last night. I used some of that time visualizing achieving my goals month after month. It was really powerful. Studying is going very slow but i didnt have much to work today. All good. Update: I had lots to work afterwards ahaha. Didnt finish yet. I asked my father if he is going to buy smth for mom for Valentines Day. He said he wont. Lol. Maybe he will change his mind. Talked with my sister to get smth for her. She complained at us about him.

Hei I got a 6! The professor had as call him to ask for the grade. He mentioned how he laughed of my mistakes from the test. Lol. I said thanks, ok. I passed. Suck it rat-man! I asked one of my friends what am i doing wrong with dating. He said maybe is because i dont have more "spicy" conversations with her while on a date. I dindnt think of this. He advised me to use body language to know when to touch her while on a date. Thanks man.

Next step into better productivity would be to study with a timer. I am still wasting time on my laptop even if i already removed several distractions. Ideally would be to work several hours without checking my phone, sites and so on. Maybe block/restrict lots of sites on my laptop in order to focus on what i have to do for x amount of time.

Bonjurică! I feel bored of studying for the upcoming exam. I keep checking whatsapp, linkedin and hanging out with my siblings. I spent quite some time on linkedin. I am impressed with what others did. But also amazed some ppl i know f2f didnt have many jobs and are still very confident. Interesting. I feel weird to quit this job and i am thinking my colleagues and boss will think bad things about me. But i saw some people working just for a few months at each job. And here i am thinking i cant quit after 2 years. Haha Even if i wasted time on other stuff i am happy i quit Instagram for already 2-3 days. I still need to spend more time studying. I need to use more discipline. Each day i do my routine i make these habits stronger. Amazing. This morning i did my whole routine even if i hesitated at the beginning. I need to spend more time learning PPC and other stuff in marketing. I like these stuff. Also, i am upset i waited for other ppl to teach me marketing, motivation and other skills. I didnt have the discipline myself so i hoped other ppl will give me all i need without me working for it. I feel stupid i spent time helping those ppl with their businesses instead of starting smth myself. I feel upset when someone says i will take you to work for me. I didnt learn much working for those entrepreneurs last few years. I can learn more starting my own business. I feel i cant start that mushroom business myself but sure i can start that online store myself. I feel upset on myself waiting for the lab guy with mushrooms to start his own business and to teach me to do it myself. He still waits to feel like working and this caused him to not really put the work in to make it work. We used to have those calls last autumn. That went to shit. Nothing got done. Well, this guy is waiting for us to motivate him and do the plans even if we dont know what to do. Is just frustrating. I just want to finish my project for uni and we will see what happens after that. I feel i can use my time to start my own thing and stop waiting for mediocre entrepreneurs to teach me shit. Next step? Study for exams and finish your project as soon as possible. I am thinking to postpone dating as well. I need to keep building discipline. Most of my problems stem from not doing the stuff i need to do. I stayed with some people hoping to get their motivation and determination. Doesn't work this way. I need to build that myself. I feel i should keep doing my routine and absenting from some habits for the next few months and just that. Investing in a relationship feels too easy. I know be nice to a girl but taking care of myself is the real challenge. Doing this next 5 months is bigger than whatever girl i would meet. Yet, maybe a few dates wont hurt. Also, i am working on showing myself i have time to develop myself even if i work and study. I cant believe how much time i actually have since i stopped watching tv series and crap online. Is amazing. I feel i build a chronic "i dont have time" because that's how i would feel after watching hours of content online. I have just a few more months of this uni and i can focus on other goals. I do have to say i am worried i will get bored at work, doing it each month without distractions. We will see. Met with friends last Friday and i didnt feel like i should be home working or being productive. I was productive! This was nice to realize.

Hey The test yesterday was ok. It helped i did some math exercises daily. The professor said we can wait for him to tell us our grade after the test. Waited for one hour and he was "too tired" to check my test. What an asshole =))))))))) The exam before the test was ok as well. Didnt get a higher grade because i didnt go to his lectures. I finally got Google apps for my Huawei phone. I downloaded revolut and it turns out i invested $2 in BTC in 2018! I dont even remember. I got a 300% ROI. Damn! I have 3 more exams left. Cant wait to be done.

Hey I had a weird nightmare. I am not used to have them. I also had some bad dreams last month. Hmm. So it feels good to not use Instagram at all. I feel free. No idea what other ppl are doing and this helps me mind my own business. My siblings want to go travel this year and i refused a few trips because i need to save up money. I want to start that online store maybe in May or June. My friends also want to travel but i am quite sure nothing will be done in the end. I found out how much a friend working in a store for around 2 years makes even if she works in weekends as well. I thought is much more. Hmm. I need to earn more. I am still living at home even if i am 24. Of. So save up more than just 40% of my paycheck. What else? I am anxious for tomorrow's test and exam. I am better at calculus and i am shocked. I improved a lot in a week. Imagine in years. Damn. I felt i wanted to watch some tv series and some porn. It is ok. I have 3 more exams and i can work on my project for uni. Also, in 2 weeks i will fucking celebrate not watching tv series, recaps and movies while taking exams. Amazing. If i resisted during exams i can make it to the end of the year.

I think i was at level 2

Hey I hope the exam was fine. It was fun meeting with friends but i feel tired afterwards. I should have studied for this Friday. Next time dont stay that long.

Forgot i already wrote here today haha. I found some games to practice subtractions, additions, multiplication, etc. I just didnt think it can be that easy. I would make it on a piece of paper. It feels weird to be Monday and not go to uni. I checked Insta at 21:00 and that girl didnt even write me again since i didnt replay to her messages from yesterday. Lol. I am stressing way to much. Replayed to her with one line and i will see what she said next night. I did feel better without checking and scrolling Instagram. But around late noon i wanted to really hard. I was bored. I found smth to do. I was spending too much time on that app. Good i am doing smth about it. It was frustrating just consuming all that content for hours on end. I am thinking what will i do after i finish exams? I am using my time to study to not get bored. I need to find smth to do besides working out and exercises. Oh, i will have school each week so is ok. Once again i realized i can feel confident without changing anything. I have all the reason to feel amazing and do more. I checked some ppl on LinkedIn and i was surprised they never worked. Like never. Wow. And they still dont care and are confident. Meeting 2 friends tomorrow night. I need a nice break and to talk some shit.

Just found out i have another exams this Friday, besides the exam tomorrow. Lol. I also have that test i failed 3 times this Friday. The professor will ask someone else to take the test with us cuz he is busy. I hope we will be able to cheat =))) Is 15:40 over here and didnt use Instagram. I want to check my messages but there is no point. I will use it later and i am considering not using the app for the following 2 weeks. I want to use it now because i have been checking the app regularly for a long time. One step at a time Today was good. I am studying and i am using a timer again. I noticed i struggle to pay attention for long periods of time. I just used 10 minutes for the start. I woke up earlier and i had a dream about my ex. I used the time before my alarm to just let go of it and all that drama. I visualized myself letting it go.

Good luck!