Everyday

Hello Drove again, two more times. I got so much better. I can't believe it! I am looking forward to drive even if I'm anxious. Going to work for the first time this years was so hard because I kept making scenarios beforehand. I thought that I'll get made fun of at work, that all my accounts will me taken from me that day. I thought that going to work is the worst thing ever. Everyone at the office was complaining. No body wanted to work. The following days got better. No one told me anything. I just worked and minded my own business. I still felt not good enough and stressed about the whole situation. When will my accounts get taken away? I don't know. The doctor said my surgery recovered 95%. I actually followed the treatment. I feel much better. The next appointment is in two weeks. Worked out last week. I felt weaker. I didn't have much energy for that. I left work on Monday thinking that I will take care of my accounts after all until mid February. I just supposed so after talking with the guy who will take my accounts. I also sent a mail I'm which I wrote a wrong word. my supervisor made fun of that and I got annoyed . Today I left work with no accounts at all. Wtf. A girl who took one of my accounts already asked if if she should mail the business about SMTH or not. I asked my supervisor. Turns out I should have gave up my accounts last year. wtf., we all thought that my supervisor will announce that. he didn't even if he saw me emailing clients weekly. So yeah, I don't have any accounts now. I feel calmer. I am looking forward to do less work from now on. A client mailed me that he wants to leave because he got no results. I don't care, not my problem anymore. I also had my first interview ever since I got hired here. Crazy, right? I was so anxious! But it went very well. After all, I have worked for four years and I know some shit. I have the final interview this Thursday. I kept thinking to quit this job and do eMag full time. I have to say I'm still scared. I am thinking to keep applying to jobs, have some interviews and get hired for a while. After that I'll quit work and do eMag. I am changing my mind daily about it. I'm scared to be out of a job and have so much free time. My mom got a little upset that I had to take my brothers laptop to work on eMag after I arrived from my job. She uses that laptop to watch tv series. she wanted to watch some Korean drama. She and my dad reconciled even if nothing has changed. I thought they'll get a divorce just a few weeks ago. I had an argument with my father as well. I feel sorry for her. She got back in the trap of watching tv series. I envy my recently unemployed sister. She has so much free time and she's struggling to be productive. I'm afraid I'll struggle as well. Man, I already made my plans. I can't wait. I haven't watched porn since I wrote about it last time. I didn't fap to Instagram models either. I didn't use Instagram to scroll for hours with a few exceptions. I feel so much better overall. After this time with less social media I thought more of my exes. I am thinking that I'm still not good enough. Not watching porn and not fapping having some pics of some girls makes me actually uncover some feelings. Interesting. So those it make sense to quit work or should I find another place? Staying here I feel bad but I get paid for easy work. I feel stupid here. Going to other place won't make things better. I will actually have to worry about clients and work my ass off for a while. I can quit and do eMag full time. I can drive, go to the gym, read more etc. My life overall would get better but I will have to watch my spending. I am comfortable here. I'm afraid of that life as well. I don't know what to do next. Should I get into another similar job just so I can see how it is like? Maybe a remote job?Should I quit for my business? I do know I should have a few more interviews. 🫡 I finished dune, the first book. It was amazing! It has been a month since I quit tinder. I feel better without it. I have to do the work before I get back into it. I wasn't enough having a job, imagine how it will be not having a job at all and still living with your parents and not driving her around. Yeah, I need to work on myself now.... I thought more and I'm not in position to date now. That's alright, keep up the good work. I thought why I care so much what my colleagues would think of me not having a job. Even if it doesn't look good on the outside, I can make a great life. Imagine driving daily, reading, working on my business and so on. imagine the growth I'll get with that time! People would be at work while I would do all of this. Think of what I've achieved last 2 years being employed and also having a side hustle. Damn, I can't comprehend that growth! 📈 imagine being able to read instead of commuting to work. Imagine reading a book in the park at noon in summer. That's crazy! Yeah, I think I have enough discipline to try this path. Of course, I'm still afraid and that's alright.

Hey 🧃 I finally drove today. I was so scared. I wasn't so bad at it as I expected. I'm so proud of myself. I went to bed super late, at 5 am. Woke up several times afterwards. Got out of bed at 13. I worked on my business and read for a few hours. I also felt like watching some TV series and some reels. It was hard to resist. I'm proud that I did. I'm looking forward to apply for some job tomorrow. I'm also afraid of that. I feel like leaving my current job will be another big step for me. I'm looking forward to the day I'll work full time on my business. I'm actually excited about that. I am not excited to start working this Wednesday. What else? Another big step would be to go to the gym. Let's see how the surgery recovers. It's been ok for the last few days. I ate some sweets today. Eh. I want to clean my room. It will take just one hour. I also want to eat some junk food. I won't tho

hello 👋 I thought a lot about it but in the end I didn't get fucked up at NYE. I just drank a little bit and took one puff. I didn't feel in the right mind space to get fucked up. I become the only single dude in the whole group. I have to say that this bothers me but Im using my free time to improve my life overall. It's a trade off and I am willing to pay it. The guy who just made a girlfriend is spending all his free time with her. I am not willing to do that. Another dude from the group, who never had a job is helping his girlfriend to pass her exams at uni. He wouldn t be able to do that if he had a job. Of course they are together. He helps her improve her own life. I arrived home that night and I took a hard look on my life after spending a few hours on social media and also watching some porn. I want to keep improving my life. I need to quit social media (scrolling on Instagram, Facebook, tik tok). These apps make me feel worse. I succeeded doing this for the last few days. I had my sister's help to improve my CV. I want to apply to a new position somewhere else. But I also consider doing eMag full time. I can take money from the business if I need it. Just a little bit. My brother had this idea. Why go to another agency and still work two jobs? I came to the conclusion that my supervisor asked me those questions because he knew I don't know the answer. Thus took all my accounts. Fuck them and him! That's good. I needed that to quit this job and move on. Yet, I am still afraid but in the same time I can't wait to move on. I don't have to be around those people who don't have the best idea professionally about me. Being scolded so many times also makes me feel insecure and have less trust in my own abilities. But I cant stay here. Leaving this job feels like the next necessary step to grow. For some reason I think that even being unemployed it's better than working for them. Interesting I worked more for my business and read more of Dune. It's amazing, bro! I also wasted some time playing some random video games on my phone for 2 hours. I also checked out IMDb. I spent several hours trying to find out what's the name of the company that a guy from the group chat has. I finally found it. I will buy some of his products as well. For sure! Can't wait! I asked my brother to go tomorrow for a drive. I have to drive! I have to, bro! I worked out already twice this week. I still can't believe it's a new year. That's crazy! 🤣 Just another year already, man! I am still thinking I'm in 2024. So I definitely have to get a remote job. I wasted enough time going and coming back for work last year. I have to also stop again abusing social media. I will keep my break from tinder. I need to be in a better spot before I try to date 🌹. I have to read some psychology books as well. I felt a little frustrated at the end of the year because I imagined I'll grow faster. I did grow but I still dont have a gf, gym, driving, my place, etc. But I didn't focus on some of those things. This year will be better. I know that because I am doing the work daily. Right now I am trying to think about quitting and doing eMag full time. 🤔 I notice that I feel afraid that I'm not good enough to do it. What if I don't work harder all the time ? What if I watch tv series or spend time on TikTok? Well, I will still waste less time than I do at work. Damn, I really waste my whole day there. It doesn't help my business. I'm just venting and complaing there. I am also afraid to fail and that's normal. But I have to give myself this chance. Imagine that I can work 8 hours on this and after that I can read. I can go out more. I can take courses. I can go tot he gym. Hack, I can do better. Much fucking better. I can read fiction and also

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Hey I was anxious working on Monday. I worried someone will say SMTH that I didn't work much. I went to the doctor and she gave me more advice to recover false from that surgery. Last night I took algocalmin to be able to fall asleep. I had but pain hahaha I didn't eat all the right things. I even watched some porn and checked out the IMDb pages. I even searched how some tv shows ended. I don't like this. I pushed myself more to do work for my business but not at the max. I felt tired and sad to do it. I should have tho. My had an argument with my father about his reckless spending. It lead nowhere. He doesn't want an emergency fund, he wants just to invest everything he has in that stupid vacation house. Ge can't afford it. He stole money meant for my grandma. Lied to my mom about it. He was upset because I told him what I thought about his stupid house and for doubting his availability to spend his money. I felt stupid at the end. He pointed out that I still live with them and I also have all my stocks here. I felt constrained to be careful of what I say They argued worse today. My father chose to move out. Don't know for how many days. He threatened with divorce. He asked my mom if she will feel ashamed that he left her in front on our neighbors. Lol. That's ridiculous. As always, I hope they will divorce. We re all watching his spending and he hates it. Man, what the fuck is going on this month? It seems that all the problems just happen now. Lol. I read more from dune. It's an amazing book man. For better than the tv series

hey I had a few long and difficult days. I had diarrhea a few days ago so I took some pills and I was constipated for 2 days. It was horrible, because of that I affected my recent surgery. I felt so much pain and I was so worried I'll have to go to the hospital. Man, it was so nasty and painful. I don't want to go through that again. Now I gave diarrhea again and lots of pain. I spent my time watching reels on Facebook, Instagram and tik tok. I felt trimendous guilt for being lazy. I checked my work accounts on second day of Christmas...... I saw that again I overspent the Budget of a client. I already panicked. How am I going to explain I spent extra $250. I should have known better. Shit! I didn't have the courage to drive yet. I made a little research to improve my CV. I saw that one of the new colleagues, a Senior had literally just 3 years and 7 months while I have 3 years and 11 months. Ridiculous! And I'm still considered a junior! That guy didn't work for an agency more than 1 year and 8 months. I only had this job. I felt stupid for having to work on Friday. I worried that my boss will ask why I didn't work more. I lost my hope pretty bad last few days. I got my shit together. I wanted to watch porn again, I wanted to watch some TV series and so on. I was close. I didn't see a point in this struggle. Maybe just a few tv shows..... but why? It won't lead anywhere. I'll be even more miserable... But I m really improving myself but man, that's such a hard month. I do question myself and I am worried about my future. I managed to work out today. That's good. I was thinking to quit work sooner, with no job waiting for me. I dont want to return there anytime soon... My family and I got invited to a family dinner by my sister's husband. I asked his father about some business advice. I told him that I don't know if I should quit my main job and spend all my time working on my business. He said yeah, you should quit both and find something that gives you more free time. I don't know why but I felt upset. He compared my business with his hunting hobby. He said he spent lots of free time and money on that hobby while he could spent that time developing another business or SMTH. That's not the same thing! I explained to him that I need money to grow this business and so on but he didn't understand. He said I should be in this situation, to not have free time to develop another business. Wtf, how can I do that while I am developing my first business. Anyways, he's not really active in business anymore. Just speaks shit. He's watching a few movies a day now. So don't get advice from him

Hey I feel upset on myself for not quitting my job sooner. I'm not looking forward to start work next year. I spent more time on TikTok and Instagram. I hate that

Hey 👋 It was stressed at work on Monday and Tuesday. I kept thinking my boss will message me anytime asking why I didn't work more. I had a few calls with some clients and I realized I'm not that bad doing my job. So why quit entirely? I can apply for other positions and see what happens. I can really gamble here. Why not? I don't have to pay rent. All the worries are just in my head. So I will text a dude who helps us import from china. Maybe he has some job for me. That would be great! Second, I will apply for some remote position for some agency so I can have more time for my business. Why not? Fuck my current job and their shit. Let's see what can I do next. How bad can it be elsewhere? Let's see! Also, I will keep an eye out for some job for a single client. I heard a position like that is quite chill. What else? I'm reading dune and I'm surprised how good is it. Better than the fucking movie! The recovery after surgery isn't going super well anymore because I have stomach problems. I have to eat more soup and veggies I want to drive this week. I'm super anxious.

Hey 🐝 The Christmas party at work was lame. Very corporate. I felt very anxious seeing there my boss, my colleagues and my supervisor. I imagined my colleagues think of me as a dumb dude for the mistakes I've done. Me and my work friend hanged out with a new colleague, who took my accounts. My boss told him while we spoke with him that he didn't join the right group. I felt like shit. Yeah, me and that guy are the dumbest of the whole company, right? I spoke more with another colleague and she also wants to leave. My work friend came high as fuck and kept saying fuck this company over and over again. Lol. I kept telling him to drink water I felt so out of place. I have been her for 4 years almost and they just took my accounts and everything. I felt upset and stupid. What am I going to do now? what will my colleagues think of me in the near future? Will take make fun? blah blah I dreamed again about the day I'll quit this job. What am I doing? I'm wasting my time. I feel upset that my boss and supervisor think I am dumb and have no future. Maybe I care so much because they are like my father. I got the books I asked for at secret santa - hyperion 1&2 After the party I took a bolt with a colleague and walked home for an hour. I thought about what I'll do next. I thought that I'll quit and work 2 days a week for my friend, just packing stuff for pocket money. I felt content. I have to say I feel a little upset that my other friend offered me a job (I told him on Tuesday I'm interested) but the job will be full time and I won't grow in any way. I will do customer support and do packages. Maybe he thinks I can't do better. I don't know what to say. Thursday - had another call with the colleague who took my clients. As I thought this change is permanent. I'll never get these clients back. shit. That sucks. I noticed that stress I felt when I woke up later. So afraid to get fired or scolded. I felt upset about this whole situation. I had a call with him and my favorite client. I felt like shit. I am actually giving him up.... On Friday I finally had my laser surgery for hemorrhoids. I was so anxious. So upset that I didn't take care of this sooner. I didn't imagine how life would be without daily bleeding and discomfort. The procedure was quick and the pain lasted a few minutes. I felt anxious for days before the surgery. I'm glad I did it. Afterwards I went home, worked and sat in bed. I wasn't very productive. Second day I was productive but still wasted time on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook. I felt like a failure. I didn't read much. Sunday - woke up early, took a shower, and I spend time on Instagram and Facebook. I ate less sweets and didn't watch porn. I feel better. I need every single little think to feel better daily. This two things help I asked my boss to work from home Monday and Tuesday because some fake reason. I thought we'll work from home so I didn't get free days. He said ok but if you don't write in crm what you do I'll give you another warning. Wtf, he really wants me to quit! I don't know what to expect in the next few months. Will I work less or more? Will I be stressed all the time? Anyway, I had a thought - this job won't matter when I'm 35. No body cares. I won't care about my boss or work colleagues in a few years. I'm overreacting. Also, I'm doing some things very well with my lifestyle. I'm so proud of that. My supervisor can't loose weight and eat healthy. I can do that and I'm doing it. So jus because I had these problems at work doesn't mean I have to give up. My supvisor watched tv series in the weekend. I'm reading and working on my own business. So what's next? Doing the hard things. Like have some 10 minutes interviews even if I avoided that for years. I will ask for a job from the guys who helps us to import from China. I thought again to do eMag full time. I'm scared, and it's normal. I'm shocked how fast I'm recovering after the surgery. I can't believe I won't have to worry about bleeding and I will be able to go to a gym without worrying that I will stain their benches. And of course I have to drive. I am scared as fuck about that. Friday, while I was working I felt like shit. I do want the money but it affects my self esteem. Is it worth it? I don't think so. I bought my my first car 2 weeks ago I think. My father's car got broken do he took mine without asking. I called him and he got very upset. I asked him if he's going to drive my car daily from now own. He lied to me that he asked me if he can drive it and I said yes. Lied to my mom as well. Now he's upset on her as well because she supported me. I don't know if I reacted right here. Maybe that's why I struggle with communication so much. I tried to discuss this and he got upset. That's why I avoid having hard conversations. Maybe those people will get up and leave form my life or I will have trouble. Maybe I should have shut up. I don't know. It's not the best situation to have another problem thrown at me. I am living here for free almost. And I told him he can't use my car. Maybe I should shut up. I don't know.

I spoke about this situation with my sister. She asked me why am I so fixed about going to work for my friend. I am not suited for customer support and it doesn't benefit me. I told her I'm afraid to be jobless. She also said I could do eMag all day. This scares me but why not? I can take such a risk now since I can keep living with my parents. Why not? Why do I keep thinking that I have to stay here? I have nothing to loose but man, I'm scared. I can also get a job at eMag. I woke up and started working and noticed this fear when I saw a bunch of emails I had to answer to. What is the root cause? Getting fired? why? Because I'm afraid I wont do well at another agency. I'm afraid I am one mistake away to not have a salary. But I don't really have what to worry about. It's all in my head. I can't rely on my father to give me money. What would I do if I didn't fear failure? I would apply for some jobs related to my business and I would also just take care of my business, no job for a few months

Hey I couldn't sleep well. I don't like this work situation I have here. If it wasn't for those mistakes I would have struggled here even for longer. I am thinking of the future workload I'll have. Will I be able to work less for the same money or i will have even more stuff to do? I don't know. I will use the way I feel as motivation to work on myself. A win would be to go to the gym, eat healthy, no porn, no sweets, no tv series, read, etc, all the things my. colleagues don't do even if they are better this job. I'm wondering why am I overreacting like this. I don't have the extra stress of a mortgage or a kid. I'm free to fail and learn and start all over again. Older people started all over again many times. I feel upset on myself for sticking with this job and not looking around for SMTH else. It had to be an ex colleague of mine to open my eyes. I should get another job, maybe a remote one so I'll have time for eMag. What am I doing here? I'm getting bullied and I feel miserable and for what? I can make other options for myself. Shit, I didn't even look for companies who work remote. What else? So much shit is happening now. I have the surgery this Friday. I'm anxious about that and about my future. I'm wondering what girl will want to date if in this stage of life. I feel like a failure in some areas. I'm exaggerating.

Hey I finished the book light bringer. It had the craziest twist I have ever read. It was awesome. I started reading dune. Finally! Last Friday a client asked me why I spent almost all of his monthly budget so fast. I forgot to check regularly how much he spent. I felt so upset on myself. I told that to my supervisor this Monday....... he got extremely angry and left the office. I expected to get fired on the spot. I thought to leave home, I felt upset and angry and everything in between He returned and said ,,so you spent all your clients budget in 15 days?" So I got the SECOND WARNING. He asked me if there is SMTH more and I said yes, I have a question for another account. So I asked why x client overspent on meta and google ads. He asked me what's the formula they use. I said I don't know and looked it up online. I blocked and I couldnt even understand what I am reading. The answer was simple but I couldn't do it under pressure. He said ok, you don't know basic math so you aren't feet to have your own accounts. Prepare your accounts to be given to your colleagues. I froze. I had all kinds of thoughts in my head. He must be joking..... Arrived home feeling worse. I spoke with my siblings and they helped me feel better. It's just a job, I'm doing SMTH besides this and that's why I'm so tired, etc. That it doesn't matter and I'm getting emotional for no reason. I dont owe them anything and I can quit anytime. I live with my parents. I don't even have to pay rent or SMTH else. I thought that I'm afraid I won't have pocket money. Lol. i thought more about it and calmed down. If I get fired I will just work on my business. I like that one more and I m better at it. But I do feel embarrassed that I'm not smart enough to do my job well, I don't pay attention and I don't understand my job, math, how to speak with those clients, etc. I have been struggling here for 4 years. All for what? That's not for me. I knew that my drifted along. I went to bed feeling angry and frustrated. I don't understand why I didn't quit sooner. Why I keep carrying what my colleagues think and so on. Why am so attached of this job? Why is hard for me to think I can just quit. Why do I think it's so complicated? What is my problem? what am I doing? I can get an easier job and work on eMag more. This thing that happened to me can become a good thing in the end. I know I didn't have the balls to quit without a reason like this Today I found out I he didn't joke, I gave all my clients to two colleagues. I found out from them. I felt so embarrassed and stupid. I thought that I am the dumbest person alive. I thought that all my colleagues think of me as stupid and that they feel pity. I asked him so until when do I work on these accounts...my accounts. He said until I send all the emails and after that I will just implement what my colleagues give me to (he had a smirk full of disdain). I said ok. (I thought so I will get the same salary with less and easier work? lol, yeah sure). I realized I should have pretend I care so i texted him. I'm don't know what the following weeks will bring. Will I work more or less? Will I get the same salary? From my experience yes but who knows.... I told to my friend that I can work for him next year. Fuck this job. He said - finally! I still can't imagine not being stressed about my job. I can't imagine waking up and having an easier Job and having more time to work on my own business. Maybe I'm afraid to go all In with my side hustle I also deleted tinder. That's not the time to get dates. I need a serious break from that. I feel like I want to prove to everyone that I can succed in more ways than just at this job. I remember how embarrassed I felt for taking a year off after highschool. How embarrassed I was when I returned home after failing in NL. I loath that feeling. I am afraid that I will feel inferior to my work colleagues if I do anything else but this job. Interesting. I feel embarrassed to tell them that I work for my friend as if my job now it's important or anything. I fear that they will look down on me because I have that job and not ours (even if I ask at my job). That's how I felt walking around the city 6 years ago. what if an ex colleague runs into me and I have to tell them that I am trying to study in the Netherlands for a year or if I tell them that I failed there. No body cares and now I actually have a great life here. So when I'm 80 I will say that I didn't quit my job sooner because my dumb colleagues might make fun of me? That's stupid. I can use that extra free time to improve more areas of my life. My colleagues can't do that. That's a great advantage. Hack, I should quit once I get the next salaries. Maybe I'll quit in February or March? It depends. I want more from life than this job. I'm getting frustrated here. I developed these fears that have no real reason at all. If I didn't make those mistakes I wouldn't be here now. I wouldn't have to face these feelings and serios life lessons. Maybe changing my job will be bigger for me than even driving! Let's speak with my friend next month. I have developed an inferiority feeling for making so many mistakes at work. I feel less than I should because some job I have now. At least I am facing this now, when I don't watch tv series, movies, etc. I have to deal with it, I can't run from these feelings at all. thank you, I needed to write this down ✍️

Hello 👋 Worked more than I was used to at the office until I worked from home and didn't want to work anymore. I finished all my pending tasks than I got too relaxed and I have due undone stuff again. Shit. I postponed some shit for way too long man. I have to keep a steady work schedule to finish my shit. I finally went to a consulation for my hemoroids this week. It turns out I have date 4. I will get a laser surgery next week. I Can't believe I'm finally going to fix this shit. I just got used to it and all the discomfort and shame that it brings. It feel unreal I will finally do something about it. Incredible! I worked more at work and for my business. I didn't have enough time to finish everything I wanted to. I want to make more money, faster. I want to quit my job. I bought my first car this week. Unreal. I feel afraid to drive it. I cant believe I did it at last. I'm going to drive at least once a week. it feels impossible right now. I didn't work out as much. I was tired. I will finish the light bringer book soon I got a gummy last Saturday and it fucked me up. I felt panicked that my parents will come into my room and scream at me or SMTH. Life doesn't feel real. I felt down because of work. I had to push myself to do my job. I didn't want to work. I feel upset that I found it so hard to understand some stuff about my job. I am not the best at what I'm doing. Selling on eMag feels different because I'm better at it. Thats why I want to make it a full time job. So I decided to focus more on my life overall and take a break from dating. I am not getting the girls I want and I'm loosing time and energy. I can use my little free time to read and work out. I can drive and work on my business. At the end of the day driving will make a bigger difference in my life than these girls ever will. I had two dates last week. Nice girls but didn't really like them. Just wanted experience. The last girl was spending her whole free time watching tv series all day. We couldn't even talk about that because she couldn't remember even one she likes besides FROM. I asked her about it since I watched the first season 2 years ago. I also read the resumes from the last season this year. Well, she didn't even remember how the last season ended. She didn't remember anything at all about the 8 hours she watched...... I used to be the same. I still am. I felt ashamed that I live with my parents and that I don't drive. She has a car and also an apartment. Both girls had that. She told me that she has no energy to do anything after work. I'm afraid to be like that again. I thought more of the things I can do to make differences in my life. I'm pissed it took me so long. It still will take me longer to build this amazing life. I will have to give up reading fiction as well. I will need to focus even more on my goals. I'm really changing my life, day my day. My supervisor said nothing changed this year for him. Damn, so many things changed for me. I don't want to be like him again. I want to change and grow. This it feels stupid to have a serious relationship now. Man, I find it such a waste of time to hang out often and watch tv series. Maybe I'm bitter for being single. Anyways , I'm looking forward to actually make more hard stuff for myself like driving. Damn, it's hard. I stopped eating so many sweets. I feel so much better. Also I got my second hepatitis vaccine. Did I tell you that?

Hello 👋 I worked overtime every day to finish my tasks. I still have a few for tomorrow. We are talking about takes from 3 weeks ago. Some of them consistent just about sending some emails. Lol. I had a meeting with a very organized colleague of mine. I'm building my schedule like he does now. I just started. I am not saving well the info from clients and tasks I have to do. I have to change SMTH. I came home after working overtime and worked even afte that for my business. Went to bed at 2 am and I was very tired each day. Damn, it was a hard day. It was an effort to test these girls. I just forgot! My supervisor asked me why the fuck don't I fix the feed of products from a client. He was missing delivery and return options in Google merchant center. I spent my whole month messaging some dude from that company to fix that. But I could have done that myself a month ago. Lol. 🥲. I felt so upset....

It was a very hard week. I got my first warning ⚠️ at work for not doing my job. My supervisor checked all my accounts and found out I have unfinished takes for 3 weeks. I felt like shit. Went to work at the office all week as well. It was hard but I did my tasks. I have to do overtime to finish this shit on time. I focused too much on my business and it's too obvious I don't about doing my job well. Giving a fuck for several weeks didn't help me. I didn't get new dates. I don't feel liem replaying all day to these girls. I don't remember the name of the girl who didn't want to move the conversation on Instagram right away. I asked the ugly girl if she has a boyfriend, I didn't know why. I was shocked that she did and he had no problem of her using Instagram to get laid. She literally said that. Than I told her I'm not ok with that and I just wanted to end the conversation. She was dating this guy since last summer but never met f2f lol? She kept texting me every day, multiple times a day since: I love you, that guy didn't replay to me so do you want a relationship with me?, I want to be your you, hello, I'm cold, I'm tired, I miss you etc How can you tell I love you when we didn't even meet?! I worked overtime this weekend for my job and I didn't like it. I find it so weird to do it. I'm used to work for my business, anytime but not for my job. It doesn't feel right I'm still thinking to go to a gym next week. We just had the best month judging by sales so far. Isn't not even over! Lol!