Eliska

Hi! So the theme of self-deception is important and it definitely plays a big role in my life. Lately, Ive been trying to reconnect with myself as I have smothered that connection for years. What I am struggling with, is I am always questioning whether what I perceive as intuition is only in fact self-deception. Thoughts?

I have actually been trying to figure that out myself for sometime, and this is what I think so far: Suppressing and letting go of an emotion are two very different things. If you suppress an emotion, you resist it, you hold it in and dont allow it to be expressed. Letting go is usualy when you come to terms with a certain situation or an emotion and you truly feel at peace. It is however a lot harder to do that. Of course, if youre not present, you can mask suppresing an emotion as letting go. But if you just focus for a bit I think its easy to tell the difference. Im my experience, strong suppressed emotions have to be in some way expressed or released so that you can "let go". There are various techniques for releasing emotional blocks. Dramatotherapy is really good for this but if you dont want to go to a therapist I suggest the method where you simply write a letter to a person that youre angry at and you really try to tap into that anger. The letter doesnt have to be written nicely. It doesnt even have to be coherent. Just "vommit" your thoughts out onto the page. Crying also helps. Once its done, you can burn the letter and let it go. Hope it helps.

I tried a guided meditation to meet your higher self on youtube and Ive had a really weird experience. Ive already tried the same guided meditation a year ago. It was a pleasant experience, but a lot has changed and I was curious to see what it would be like now compared to a year ago. In the meditation, your highr self lives in a massive tree on a meadow in a forest. When I met my higher self, it was good at first. We huged and cried. I even brought my inner child with me and they were very happy to see each other. But then suddenly I wanted to run away. When I resisted the urge to run, I grew these giant wings that started flapping around, trying to get me out of the house. The more I resisted, the more they pulled. The wings managed to get me out of the tree and into the air, flying away. When I finally gave up and stopped resisting the wings, they stopped flapping and I staring falling down. I fell in front of the giant tree and I as looked up, my higher self was watching me. When I wanted to go towards her, the wings started panicking and pulled me away. This time, I grew claws and tried to hold onto the ground but as the wings pulled me, I left claw marks in the grass and destroyed all the flowers. All the animals that were on the meadow ran away. I was so confused and scared. I didnt want to run away, but I also didnt want to destroy the things around me. The inner child came towards me and kissed my forehead. Finally the tree started burning, so I left. Please, can anyone help me? Ive only done guided meditation a couple of times but it was never this "negative". It really freaked me out.