Treetalk

You can start by congratulating yourself. That you’ve reached a stage of awareness where you can see how your past actions may have hurt you. Many people live in ignorance their whole lives, too afraid to look at themselves, choosing to ignore, deflect, project or seek escape in drugs, alcohol, sex etc. It’s a major point in your spiritual development and you should be proud for coming to the realisation that something needs to change. The question is how do you deal with feelings of shame and guilt. Recovery starts with self love. I would encourage you to learn about self love and forgiveness. Leo has made some videos on this. It sounds very corny and new age but cultivating self love and acceptance of yourself and your unique journey is pivotal to living a more balanced and peaceful life. As is learning how to deal with negative emotions. I would encourage you to read Teal Swan’s material on this if you haven’t already. Your emotions are a wake up call. Living your life in the way you described didn’t make you feel good. Ask yourself what would. And learn to forgive yourself for the past.

I think what you should be asking yourself is why you don’t know what to do. Are you in touch with your intuition? Do you have a good sense of your own boundaries? Are you listening to what your feelings are telling you? Are you good at using them as a guide? If you feel he is condescending and arrogant, listen to that. Learn how to trust what your intuition is telling you. Ask yourself if you are using spirituality to justify his behaviours. Ask yourself what makes you an energetic match to this man. Some people who are very kind to others can have a high tolerance for unconscious behaviours and can develop a habit of not letting people go when they need to because they want to be good. If you have major doubts about his behaviours don’t ignore the alarm bells! Why do you want friends in your life who are self centred and arrogant? The more you work on yourself the more you will want to release these friendships and the more you will draw people to you who treat you with the respect you deserve.

Raptorsin - I don’t want to confuse things for you because there’s a lot of excellent advice above. I would just say accept all your thoughts even the negative ones and then let them go. You are not wrong for thinking a negative thought. You are not wrong for feeling down. Sometimes allowing yourself to sink into these feelings is the best form of release. Having awareness that these thoughts and feelings come from conditioning or life events is what’s important. Ask yourself which parts of your life are contributing. Focus less on wanting to feel good, that’s only making you resist what is and want to escape what you’re feeling now. Once you accept yourself exactly as you are now without judgement you might start seeing just a hint of light.

The more you become connected to yourself the less dependent you’ll be on your relationship with men as a source of your self esteem. Who were you before your personality became layered with hurt, rejection and disappointment? Find that person again, raise your self esteem and you’ll find that you’ll be happy by yourself and one day you’ll attract the right man into your life. Show yourself radical compassion and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Focus your energy on YOU. Give yourself unconditional presence and love. Accept the part of you that has been hurt and over time you’ll release that energy. And learn how to forgive those who have hurt you in the past.

There is such a thing as trying too hard to fix yourself and actualized.org can push some people down this path. It makes people think they can control everything and have a positive outcome if they simply do x, y, z. The way you’re feeling right now may be a sign that you need to let go for a while and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Just do the things you enjoy and are passionate about. You will soon find yourself exercising and reading just because you want to.

@Aquarius 1. What do you think of tarot? 2. what do you think of stuff like this: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCGS9evApv_T-ZZbSmHi4oBA

It seems to me that people are using spiritual teachings to justify his tone and language. It’s interesting though - experiencing enlightenment doesn’t make you a better person than anyone else. It enhances your understanding of reality and that’s what his work is ultimately about. There’s a difference between gaining knowledge about existence and developing your inner self to be kind and compassionate to others, even when they bug you. It surprises me though that those two aspects of spirituality aren’t totally aligned for him - I would expect seeing the true nature of reality to increase one’s humility. I think he’s more concerned with awakening and sharing that journey with others. It’s quite confusing to be honest. Maybe he’s doing it to avoid a cult of personality. Maybe he wants people to dislike him so they don’t rely on him too much and instead work to find their own truth. I think some of it also comes from frustration that he can see things so clearly and others on this forum are so far behind and sometimes sound like they haven’t listened to anything he’s said. These aren’t good enough excuses though.

Think about what you’re resisting because you think it’s too “girly”. Read the Heroine’s Journey by Maureen Murdock which gives a pretty good explanation of why women start to reject their femininity. Teal Swan has made a video about the divine feminine, which gives an interesting perspective.

Ya know - hang on in there. If you can’t do anything, don’t. If you can’t go to work, I suggest you’re signed off on sick leave until you get yourself back together again. That’s if you have understanding employers. Then, sit with the pain. It will pass, I promise. Basically do what the flower fairy suggests. In the long term I recommend developing awareness that the wounded you isn’t all of you - it’s how you were conditioned to be. Then try and rediscover who you really are. Best wishes.

Cypres- beautifully explained. Thank you.

Farnaby - try experiencing the paranormal for yourself with complete open mindedness. Discovering truth isn’t about proving or disproving. It’s about discovering what is; the vastness of reality with no judgement. Science is not an end in itself. It’s a tool we can use to find out what’s out there, to learn more about the nature of reality. Best wishes.

The more aware you become, the more Eckhart’s teachings start to make sense. If you’re trying to lift yourself out of a depression or bad spell though, I don’t think his advice is very helpful because it can lead you down the path of ignoring your emotions by artificially trying to let go - you can only truly let go of the past and negativity if you feel these emotions. You will let go when you are ready to and shouldn’t try to force it too much. Some people also fall into the trap of trying too hard not to think.

Are there any 'objective' facts, that could help to find real psychics or is it more about the gut feeling? - go by word of mouth. Do your research. Don’t give anything away during the reading - the information that naturally comes to the psychic may be what you need to hear at the time. Don’t try to control the reading. What were your experiences with psychics like? - very good. I believe they have healing powers. I have heard negative experiences from people too though. That’s why you need to be careful and pick wisely. Why did you consult them anyway? Could they help you? - consult them if you are looking for guidance in your life - something more than you would get from a friend or therapist - if you are looking to heal on a spiritual level. A good psychic can sense your energy level and advise you on what you can do to change it, as well as giving you spookily accurate little facts about your life. Don’t become dependent on them though - you can harness your own intuition and should learn how to do so. How did you find them? - word of mouth What sort of skills did they have? - the ability to tap into other energies/beings from other dimensions to download a stream of information about your level of consciousness, your past, present and future. Your future is always changing though, depending on your energy level and how the energies of those around you is changing. A psychic reading is a snapshot of your life and future at a specific point in time. I wouldn’t give too much weight to predictions. Best of luck.

Just a word of warning - don’t set yourself goals that are too ambitious. Don’t engage in spiritual practices or self actualization work to escape your feelings. This will make your depression worse. Ask yourself why you’re depressed. Have you lost faith in the future? Have you been affected by a series of negative life events? If so, have compassion for yourself and find a way that works for you to regain hope about the future and the possibilities in life that still exist for you. Whether that’s therapy, a spiritual guide or something else. Taking psychedelics alone is unlikely to solve the problem and may only be a temporary fix. I don’t think actualized.org recommends taking psychedelics in this way. Meditate daily to give yourself grounding. For this to work, allow whatever thoughts arise to arise. Don’t judge them. Don’t try to control them. Just watch them. This will help you process your emotions. I suggest 30 minutes a day if you can - it can take your brain time to calm down. Best of luck

Why did you go to a psychic/healer? After having a reading done, the curious part of me wants to explore things further. Perhaps in the form of energy cleansing of some sort. What benefits have these experiences had for you?