bananak

I smoke mad joints and bud everyday out of a one hitter. I spent a whole summer using a vape pen once too. I think in smaller doses the vape is healthier, but if you are puffin a vape constantly all day you'll get popcorn lung fast. I think vape is cool for one hit here and there but smoking other ways is better if you smoke a lot throughout the day. Just my opinion from experience

@Girzo You mean assuming they're right before thinking for myself right? @YaNanNallari How is whatever I do now inauthentic to a degree? This is great info thank you!

At what point is being strongly influenced by one person more than others inauthentic? If ever? Is this just part of the journey? Is this super-early stages of developing unique style? I don't know if I am studying one person too much, I know I am obsessed with their excellence. It leaves me curious to no end. I feel like they are becoming a huge part of the reason why I do the things I do and act the way I act. My beliefs and values seem identical or something. I find myself learning more and more, and even though I want to keep going I stop myself sometimes because I'm afraid I'll become to much like them- which is what feels right but is probably inauthentic? I feel like me holding back even though I want to learn more slows down mastery. At the same time I feel like a year or two of diving deep into their world is nothing, and only the beginning stages of this path im on... I tell myself that its just 1 stage, which can take years, but every time I clear a "stage" I get closer to a unique view, which is never ending just more and more unique. I'm really wasting so much energy on this in the back of my head everyday. It's too weird of a topic to talk about to my therapist every time I try to, I end up judging myself. I was hoping maybe somebody else experienced this or understands it.

@Quader I could definitely be more disciplined but I do try and break out of this consistently. I just got a 1969 Twin Reverb not too long ago, and once in a while my practice is literally cranking it in a neighborhood where houses are close together. Purposely knowing it'll annoy a % of people no matter how good it is. Every time I do this I get a little "looser", but it really is one of the hardest things I've ever done. (plus while it should be getting easier every time its getting harder as well because I know I'm making someone more and more sick of it) Trying to master not caring what people think no matter what, not letting stupid shit take me out of flow. @Nahm That is awesome what you pointed out about The Doors, I never knew that. That feeling you get is what I live for. Sometimes, more rarely now than months ago, I get discouraged that I might be headed a way that will leave me in misery and struggle with life. I know this is pretty normal but its really scary for me still, i'm 28 in April, most people view me as a "loser". Trying to follow dreams is really fucking hard. I've always been chasing dreams and big things since I was a kid, I'm definitely that guy who gives up right at the end before that one big growth curve. After studying actualized and anything related I feel like I can go back and ace my old dreams, finish them, be what I wanted to be... I feel like now it would be so easy, except it wouldn't be my most authentic route and I believe that is music. But yeah this leaves me with like "oh I can't believe I'm going to go all-out on this when it may not work", when I can just go back to old dreams and finish them off as I've figured out root problems holding me back in those areas. Typed a lot because you said you wouldn't trade it for anything else. I'd love to hear what you guys feel your life purpose is if you have any of it figured out. Also what do you play? I'm obsessed with the blues really, I know its where I want to put all of my time, and effort. I appreciate all the advice!

Thank you, I'm seriously going to study this post for the rest of my life. It set me up so well, literally brought tears because so many things clicked. What do you think is the longest amount of time you've ever had your ego completely out of the way uninterrupted? Seconds, minutes, hours? What were "you" doing?

This is really mind-fucking me. My best music seems to come out when I am not thinking at all. What is it that anticipates the next note I play when its all just coming out? I've been trying to figure this out for a year or so now since I've experienced a few moments of expression that felt so good I can't put into words. It's really only when I can get out of my own head and the world completely, I always get sucked back in. I'm hoping a meditation habit can cure this. I'm just trying to figure out where the influence of thought comes from when I'm playing freely and in the moment. Maybe sounds I listen to and hear the most everyday? Or sounds that really hit me and catch my attention on the regular? Maybe it's a sound I loved that I heard years ago, but never again...and something made it come out randomly. I feel like this whole idea is the thing that has been driving me to studying all your videos so much the past year. p.s. this post is mostly just an unorganized rant, it just helps me reflect now that i've typed it out. super fucking interesting post of yours though. like damn. zfgzfgzdfhzdhfzfhzhzdfhxdgjjfgj

I was watching a video and you mentioned people claiming to be healers/mystics...(rock bottom video or strange loop) I couldn't help but notice my dad watching the TV show "The Healer" with Charlie Goldsmith. I understand some of the manipulation from a lot of TV shows but this one actually blew my mind. If you stumbled upon anything in your research on this subject that would help me fathom this I'd love to hear it! If you could ask for one thing in return from any/all your viewers, what would it be?

If you think of music we bring the past to the present moment a lot. I feel like you are overthinking it a little bit, it should be okay to think of the past but the main thing is you don't wanna dwell on it. You can't live in the past or you'll lose your mind. Also you won't get the "i dont need to think" feeling until you've done it 100's of times. gl keep at it