Omni

If you're on that 'createaforum' with a guy calling himself Jed, that's not Jed.

"I know what you are, but what am I?" oof.

Oh, you're a troll. Gotcha.

Don't worship Leo even though he's now God

I hope you understand that projection isn't just a 1-way street. A mirror reflecting another mirror is a better analogy. Not just a clear mirror, but both "distortion" mirrors. The simple fact that you narrowed your words to "an identified butthurt ego would say" isn't arbitrary at all. Why isn't it arbitrary? Because that's the thought that came up as you decided to respond to me, you manipulated your words to emulate yourself as more advanced than you are while still relaying the message you *wanted* to relay. this goes back to the false-humility. After this small interaction it's much more evident, goodluck my man

interesting model you've got there

Why is it selective to English? Language is identification. This is getting old my man, consider putting the mic down and doing something enjoyable that doesn't pertain to trying to out-intellectualize every person who doesn't agree with you.

Can't say for certain as I don't actually know you, but the fact that you emphasize being 100% comfortable quite a bit sets off some red flags for false humility. However that's relatively beside the point nor is it important, however be careful not to fall in the trap, as we're all susceptible. http://www.swordofthespirit.net/bulwark/truehumilitychart.htm Find the distinction between religion and dogma - there isn't. Therefore "secretly wanting dogma" sounds pretty basic-ego. Altering one's perspective over extended periods of growth isn't contradictory, it's exploration.

You're attacking and projecting like it's nobody's business whilst looking for others who agree with you - not saying you're wrong but rather overly-focused on him and not the teachings themselves, Don't obsess over the teacher, take the golden truths from it and run. These silly games are a waste of time

You've projected all of this, Whether or not someone is legitimately disrespecting or not, it IS all in your head. The questions you should ask is "who cares? why does it matter?" It doesn't, it's your ego thinking there is some value in looking silly or being 'talked down to' or whatever the fuck it is that offends you. Wanna know how to counter-act it? Deliberately make yourself the joke, make it so that you beat anyone to the punch when it comes to "being silly" This doesn't validate their potential opinions, it gives you the power. Right now you're choosing to not be silly because of XYZ. If you can take a joke, an insult, a statement that is intentionally trying to put you down and NOT react. What would that look like? How empowering would that feel? if you want to be nuanced enough to not jump to any conclusions; let's start the practice here and now: Go fuck yourself. Choose what you want to do with that or how to respond, but remember whether or not you conscious choose or subconsciously choose, it's YOUR choice.

Yeah i wasn't sure if i should explicitly state it's taken completely outta context lol

It's difficult to say whether or not to quit or whether this advice will work from someone who isn't actually in your situation, nor do i know your passion. If there's a way to align your current skills from school with your passion it may ease the process having a practical skill and an ability to find out the best routines that fit for you to embody that in your daily life. Post-Graduation there's never 100% guarantee you'll find a job, or one that's well paying. But it does give opportunity for growth if you do work your ass off, but it takes a lot to come up with a vivid and convincing goal to see be able to keep up at a constant pace even when things start to get rough. That I'd imagine goes either which path you take, with that said I'd go with my gut decision because either way you decide to go mistakes will be made and learnt from, and "positive outcomes" are completely subjective and I don't know what's good for you - the question is do you?

Turning? It has been since the creation

Is there a point up the spiral in which you purge most to all of your addictions or is there no inherent relativity between the two? I'm sure people will jump to say 'they're purged when you're enlightened' - but let's put that one aside for conversation's sake.

That statement can be massively misunderstood if the receiving end hasn't tried to understand happiness.

I began falling into blackness as an emptiness or void but still as an entity with perspective. What I saw was hardly discernible. It was what I understood about this thing that came to life. I understood that it was a maze - and this complex maze was evolving. It was shifting and rearranging itself like a polymorphic labyrinth. But spatial limitation was hardly the issue, it was much more intricate than that. Something more like an organism that wasn't just randomly organizing itself, it was more of a reflection of me - or rather the easiest to interpret as me - Tangibility seemed instantly impermanent, all of it was quickly changing and it did not discriminate shape - then suddenly I was back to taking a shower. How do I know whether or not much of this is simply just a model constructed out of ideas to fit my bias, furthermore how can we accept any 'answer/insight' we find inside ourselves doing personal development work as a truth, wouldn't that always leave a blind spot for the ego?

How can you accurately depict where you yourself are (roughly) at on the spiral, or myself if I wanted to? Of course using the examples the things that we gravitate towards when Leo listed things off throughout the series is perhaps a decent gauge, when attempting to find any tangible identification at any part of the spiral (even with multiple other sources) I find myself all over the place with certain traits and when i compare myself to certain yellow/turquoise while also rejecting core ideas of green I tend to find myself in an odd sense of denial of categorizing myself beyond green. I truly don't think I'm that developed and even if it were the case I don't feel I have a clear distinction of the stages below yellow as it claims, anyways if you guys want to share your method for getting a decent reading on this would be interesting to hear.

You understand the value of independence but you only have that independence because of the cooperation of people - society, culture, internet - the list can go on. This is all a collective effort, not an individual one. I'm sure you can probably tell that the ego flourishes in the materialist paradigm so It's just a simple pro's and con's list which happens to be relative to the circumstance. Your what-if statements seem to be a bit of a worry rather than an insight. Almost as if you were afraid to allow yourself to be vulnerable with people, which is okay, nothing wrong there at all. However you must understand that the amount of introspection, independence and 'go-it-alone' things you've done to get to this theory of devalued relationships has been you focusing on exactly what is most comfortable and perhaps the easiest, believe it or not. Go out and find people that are like-minded and interact, don't just seek for an answer on the forums because that's just anecdotal and won't be much of use regarding direct experience. Don't be afraid to get hurt, embarrassed, to need help or be dependent (as long as it's not a habit). Experience these things with the new lens you now have and see if it holds up to the real thing, I bet you'll be surprised.

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Where's the danger?

This was an interesting bit.

Perhaps, but this took contemplation nevertheless - or perhaps you're speaking through mind and not based on experience.

dead

Personality/Ego is the same thing you started a list, but you don't expect this list to become infinitely expandable, try everything then try this concept 'top>down' method. all of it's a concept, even your concept of the concept.

No one has taken the same path as you, we're all alone in that one. Listening to Leo only goes so far, taking action is another story.