striving4peace

Deleted post details as I found my answer to the question.

Hello everyone, I hope all is well. I am having a hard time making a change in my life because of the magnitude of research and understanding that I need to have in order to set effective goals. For example, I make a plan to start making changes but every time the start date gets delayed because I keep thinking "oh wait I haven't researched and completed writing up all my affirmations, you can't start without having your complete affirmations ready for your new life change" and then it's "oh wait, I also haven't finished writing a to do list and my daily routine so I can be ready for my new life change" and then "ohh wait, a new anxious thought has popped up so I need to deal with this so I can start making changes from an emotionally well place" and then...yes you guessed it, another thing pops up to delay any start to actually engage more healthily with the world and make a life change. I also end up needing to spend hours learning about affirmations and so forth before I create my own and even then I have so many problems that each require a separate set of affirmations. In short, it's been a over a week since I planned to change and everyday the start date gets set back. The reason I keep researching my issues so I can set effective goals and have the correct strategies in place is because in the past I started without conducting research and I ended up going back to my old ways. I guess the middle ground would be to start making changes and at the same keep developing my knowledge about my issues, something I didn't do in the past. Do others agree or is there an alternative way to look at this all? Any insight would be great. Thanks!

Hey @Key Elements Thanks for your insightful reply, it really helped put some perspective. Will check out the link and you're on point with the deciding to stop sharing.

Hello, New member here. Great to read some posts here. I read the guidelines and feel that my post is reasonable but if it isn't I am happy to edit it.I wanted to ask if anyone had any insight into how to navigate challenging family members whilst on the journey to self actualization. Apologies for the long post. I am grateful to my family, i could of had it a lot worst so I write this post in recognition that I truly believe they are doing the best they can. Where is the issue?My family members played a huge role in making life difficult for me a few years back, i hit rock bottom because of it and basically no one helped me out. It was a difficult period of my life, i felt angry and betrayed. I also was going through a bout of anxiety then too and after opening up they didn't help me out. I felt the gossiping was happening behind my back and it really hurt. Fast forward a few years later and i've forgiven but haven't forgotten. So whats the issue? I've been battling anxiety for a year on my own and due to past experiences I didn't tell m family about it. I feel better and am back on my journey to self actualization, however, i feel I am still vulnerable in many ways and my family has a tendency to be negative. My mom makes it a point to point out my shortcomings whenever i get close to her. My siblings instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt judge every little what they all "mood swing" I have and act weird around me sending the vibe that I am in the wrong for just not being the happiest person alive-they have no clue and really dont deserve to know the mental torture i've lived in for the past year. I care about that because I get guilty very quickly especially if I people are giving off "I am offended" vibes. I struggle to be with them but I want to learn how to be with them and be compassionate, how to be with them and not allow the unkind words to harm me. I believe this a form on self actualization (feel free to correct me). I see how I have shortcomings that I need to work on but right now I am finding solace in keeping a kind distance from them. They all think I am in a strop but really I am not, i am talking to them but just not hanging with them (we live in the same house). So far the distance is helping me focus on my well being after such a hard year. But in going forward does anyone have any tips on how I can manage the conflict i have which is wanting to be close and enjoying late night conversations and laughter but also not wanting the inevitable unkind words that come out in these family gatherings. If i continue to keep my kind and loving distance, I'll risk losing out on the closeness I've always liked but then again I always come back to where I am right now regretting not having boundaries up. If anyone has any insight to share I honestly would be relieved as there's no one I know who is able to give an objective feedback. I welcome any posts that provides constructive criticism as I know i can do better and that is why I am here to learn and walk towards the road to self actualization! Edit: Also want to emphasize that my mom has been through a lot in life. A lot of my family have. They are wonderful and in no way do I feel they are malicious people. Which makes the whole thing hard to navigate because they are lovely and like myself have shortcomings. I am just truly more sensitive than the rest of my family. I also abhor unkind words and people saying mean stuff to others because I realize how deeply most of the problems of the world is caused by such lack of care for one another.