Jokerman111

If you feel so bad after just alcohol you probably can't handle it, 2 day hangover is not common. And if you can't have a good time without being shitfaced you definitely have a problem.

Drama queen, much?

basically like the stock market, but trading tennis matches live. Similar to live betting.

Pro tennis trader/gambler

Check out Inner mastery http://www.albertojosevarela.com/en/lp/english-retreats/ i can highly recommend their retreats. One session of Bufo is like 160 euro, of course worth every penny.

It's not like you gonna feel any big difference in your awareness after 4 months if you not having some kind of breakthrough experience or strong insight. You can't expect too much from your meditation, it's not gonna just POFF one day and you feel a massive change.

So no point at al to buy like http://www.choosemuse.com/ ? it cost 100 dollar in Sweden for 1h. And they saying 20h is minimum. Need to do more research of it, if it's worth it and what to expect.

I attended a ayuascha retreat two months ago in Sweden. Three nights of ayuascha and one bufo ceremony. Ayuascha was pretty lame, don't get the hype at al. No mindfuck components like lsd, just nausea and some colours while eyes closed. The bufo experience was amazing. Such a beautiful ceremony with al the lovely people welcoming us back after the infinity. Can't even imagine how you can take this alone at home. I've never been so nervous before in my whole life, so it was so important for me to have people around, and after with the integration. I don't remember the first part of the trip, just the OOM sound that got higher and higher and then I was just gone. I came back 5 minutes later, had the worst panic attack you can imagine. Thought I was going to stay at a mental hospital for the rest of my life, it was just to much. But I surrender after a while, and omg that feeling. Everything was just stil and silent, felt like mdma x infinity. I was in that state in 10 minutes. After that I felt some anxiety, and thought like "I'm not gonna do more spiritual and enlightenment work, it too scary " . These thoughts stay with me for maybe half an hour. Now, 2 mounts later I'm more motivated to do this work then ever. The first time after the retreat it was hard to really grasp the significance of the experience. But it has growing on my everyday. My meditation practice has gone through the roof. I can go really deep now . I've felt that feeling after I surrendered a couple of times. It's scary as fuck. The first time I felt it I almost had a panic atack. But this morning I stayed in the infinity feeling for maybe 30 seconds and it was so beautiful. Total bliss. How has your meditation practice evolved since 5meo?