Carl-Richard

I say "probably" because there are of course many other teachers that have had a profound effect on me (actually Martin Ball comes to mind). Even Leo, despite me claiming him moving away from "enlightenment" as a pursuit, has given me one of the most profound pointers of all time: "you are creating everything". It doesn't just put everything in reality inside the confines of your identity, but also the live unfolding dynamic creative aspect of it, which has a palpable and powerful effect when grasped intuitively. Sometimes what you can call "higher states of consciousness" are just better ways of grasping a concept (or generally naming) that creates a resonance intuitively.

You are the body and the mind as much as the chair you're looking at across the room. I.e. there is no distinction (that your identity relies on). Any form appears as just form. Previously some forms were taken as self and others as not-self. That vanishes.

In the moment, the intention was to focus on the lecture, and ironically, I noticed a tension while focusing on the lecture and having that intention, and when I dropped that tension, the awakening happened. So it was a dropping of intention on many layers simultaneously, but of course riding on top of a momentum of having had those intentions for a while. That is why spiritual practice is like a train and you want to find out when to jump off to get to the right station. That's why Jan Esmann is (probably) my favorite teacher of all time

@BlessedLion How long can you meditate in the sun before you get cooked?

You know, when I started having spontaneous awakenings during university lectures, without me willing them, without me having the intention to go to that place, was the time I had been laying off "spirituality" as a #1 goal (and instead it became a #2 goal, after academics). When the identification and clinging to spiritual concepts softened, a new sense of depth of disidentification opened up. And then when it got so bad I decided to stop meditating altogether, that is when I was truly fucked, because then I had truly given up all clinging and identification with things that I had prior strong clinging and attachment to. Now I was free floating. It took years to stabilize in a more normal egoic identity again. Constant fear of death, every moment of the day, around the corner, I had to invent the most weird strategies to keep myself on the ground. But even from that state, it was possible to revert back. It's like how growing up when you're a child, you slowly put on the clothing of ego. It's possible to do this at an adult age as well. But it's not pleasant, at all. Every moment feels like confinement, even transcendent things like music felt like confinement and contraction of divine energy. And was there a meaning to it all. We're yet to see.

In a sense, but it flips around, because as you drop the identification with the self, you experience yourself as other people. Their pain, their suffering, you experience it as your own. This is quite paradoxical and can be related to what Dr. K is talking about with "the deep hurt". Even though you are silent and peaceful, around you there may be suffering, and you become a pristine mirror, taking on this suffering. And that's the vow of the bodhisattva, of returning to the world and taking on the suffering and trying to alleviate it in others.

So I guess it's true that he is on the spectrum.

I won't tell you when it was mentioned. Just watch it. Matan Even is actually a quick fella, even though he is a perpetual troll and playing a character. And Alex O'Connor is of course Alex O'Connor.

He showers 2-3 times a day

I knew I was always middle-eastern deep inside 😌

Then do it fast because I'm about to eat up my beard. It's at that length now where it can't stay out of my mouth, I don't know how papa Sadhguru does it 🎅

Temu Sadhguru

I suggested, I did not "insist". And you don't have to repeat "you don't know that" as if I haven't acknowledged that already multiple times. That's what is meant by "I think and feel" (as opposed to "I know"). It means I don't necessarily have 100% knowledge. It's not to "avoid accountability". It's the exact opposite: "this is what I think and feel, and I can't know that for 100% certainty". "He already said no" in that he believes he doesn't have trauma. But I challenged that claim, asking essentially the same as you're asking: "how can you know that?". Your unconscious mind is by definition as inaccessible to you as another person's mind. That's what therapy can help with. But yes, that was all it was. The actual "I think you could benefit from therapy" was a suggestion (to go to therapy). I did not "insist" that he should go to therapy, whatever you mean by that.

"Uroboric Forms" by Cynic (1993).

The past quotes was to make the case clearly. The quotes from 2026 carry the same core issue. The point of making the thread is the issue is still going on today. I was curious what people would think when the behavior was presented in a concentrated form, without me adding anything to it, and generally what would happen if I made such a post, because honestly, the behavior has made me quite ambivalent about being in this place so I had less to lose by doing it. But Leo took it as an oppurtunity to at first embrace the behavior ("that was the journey I had to go through to get to this point") and not lash out on me (brilliant move of narrative control) and then only later in baby steps concede that the behavior might be wrong somehow (which @zurew postulates is yet another attempt at narrative control, but we can hope there is some light in the end of the tunnel). And then he hopefully sincerely entertained the idea of perhaps getting an outside look on his own mind, which would of course be expected even as a point of curiousity from a guy who claims to be the most adept at epistemology he has ever met. And to be clear, it's not about "trauma" necessarily (as that can be defined in many ways and tends to have a strong negative association with it), but simply getting a look at the past and how it might affect the present (or other unconscious patterns in the mind). It might not even be worthwhile and it might not even work, but simply getting the message across that this is the problem (and this might be the solution), is worth it and that's why I made the thread. It was also a way to make people clear on what is being taught (i.e. not enlightenment but something else) and hear what they think about that and whether that is what they came here for. And also to make the case that they should perhaps be more honest about what they think and feel and not bullshit themselves too much about whatever invisible Absolute Infinity carrot is dangling in front of them.

Again, this is what I think and feel. No claims of Absolute knowledge. This should be obvious and not something that needs to be said. This overly defensive attitude is indicative of the very dynamic I'm pointing out. Everything that is said is not that serious. It's a thought, a feeling. You can share it without expecting it to be taken as some absolute insight into reality that must be adopted or else you're fooling yourself and not being openminded enough, etc. By reading the quotes in the original thread, what do you think I was pointing out? By reading what I literally said in a later comment in the thread, after being done hearing what other people might think about it, what do you think I was pointing out? And how do you think therapy might possibly tie into it? And do you think I was sincere in suggesting that as a genuine solution or step in the right direction, or was that just an expression of outrage? Let's hear what you think and feel. No need to "you can't know this" anymore. That's done now.

If you want a 15 minute 39 seconds run-through of essentially how modern metal was created, watch this video. It's one riff from every Meshuggah song combined into one giant medley. It's very well-executed considering he played 86 riffs in one take:

Most impeccable and melodically interesting neo-classical guitar solo you'll come across: 1:40

He might've been a few years off with his prediction (2012), but other than that, pretty god damn spot on.

Me wishing Leo to go to therapy is done out of love. And the "child-parent" narrative is cute, perhaps projection.

5307 post andy. 60k post andy.

You can be extremely sincere and still be egoic. No problem there.

This was the humoristic part of the conversation, where everything that needed to be said had been said and we came to a respectful conclusion, yes with jokes and laughter. That you still are carrying some tension throughout that exchange, might be indicative of something. Is there something you have on your heart that you want to say? I've always wanted to say that Leo might benefit from therapy in some way or another. And I think this was a great way of saying it, it went much better than I had expected, I did not plan it either, it simply happened because it was maybe the right thing to happen (or not, who knows). As for having a closed mind, I've already said to you directly that I can't know whether Leo is the most awake person in the universe or not and I should have an open mind about that. I'm only saying what I think and feel (just like Leo is saying what he thinks and feels that no other teachers are as awake as him). This was also said in the part of the earlier post about you should perhaps trust your estimation of things sometimes and that "I should have an open mind", even if it can be a virtuous position to have (which it often is), can be a way of fooling yourself. It's never an either/or answer to these things. It depends on what you think and your sense of what is right and reasonable in a given situation.

Anything emotionally disruptive that has happened to you in the past that affects you in the present in the direction of pathology (or coping mechanisms for that pathology), which is always a spectrum. Trauma means "wound".