Carl-Richard

I once had the insight that a twitch chat is like a human supercomputer, like a semi-AI. Of course it depends on the quality of the viewers haha. Also not to go too Terrence McKenna on you, but I believe Twitch is one of the first signs that we're entering an age of global hyper-interconnectivity and information flow, which will be the launching point of the stage yellow era. I also believe there is merit to your idea about Leo establishing himself on twitch (although maybe not now with his current pursuits). Afterall, HealthyGamerGG, the spiritually inclined psychiatrist, only just started out and has had extreme success, even teaching meditation on stream.

If you're having problems reconciling your materialistic beliefs with these new insights, I recommend watching the video "Understanding How Paradigms Work". It's really integral in breaking free from materialistic dogma, and it's arguably the one video that has had the biggest impact on me opening my mind. Even though it takes a very critical look on things like science, it doesn't mean science is stupid or useless, but it's just recontextualized. Stick with your meditation habit, don't be afraid to sit longer if you feel like it.

If you're innately curious about the nature of reality and value truth above anything else, you'll land in non-duality sooner or later. Meditation helps, self-inquiry helps, psychedelics help.

What if I enter samadhi by accident and sit for 21 days straight?

Sadhguru also thinks many gurus aren't awake. It doesn't matter. As long as you resonate with their teachings, it can help you to grow.

You're not a finite thing. You're not bound by time, you're not bound by a body, you're not bound by anything. The feeling of "I am" is the feeling of being aware, which is just the feeling of "being". This is the essence of self-inquiry: trying to become familiar with the sense of "I am". Whether the brain is created by consciousness or the other way around is really secondary to this practice. When the recognition of "I am" settles within you, the answer for your question will be realized.

I know, it's a debate on Twitch, but bear with me. It's very civil, and I think it's a cool example: 54:26-57:26 The guy talking (the moderator a.k.a Destiny) tries to introduce the debaters to tier 2 stage yellow spiral dynamics thinking, and then MindWaves retaliates with tier 1 stage orange thinking (discarding the opponent a.k.a Pxie's tier 1 stage green framework), because that is the primary character trait of the stages in tier 1: they adamantly discard all other frameworks, both higher and lower stages. It's very apparent when MindWaves at 57:11 says: "Sure, I guess- ...yeah, so I have no interest in working within your framework, because I think you're wrong" *chuckle*

No scientist can every claim that they've experienced anything in reality outside their own consciousness. This doesn't mean that their personal slice of consciousness is the only thing that exist, but what it does mean is that everything is an appearance in consciousness. The neurons firing in the brain is an idea, and an idea is an appearance in consciousness. If you were to look at your own neurons firing, then that is still an appearance in consciousness. When a person gets their brain removed, stops moving and is unable to talk, that is also an appearance in consciousness. Try to find a moment where whatever you interpret to be "objective physical reality" is actually arising separately from consciousness.

Time is change. Change happens in the present moment. Consciousness creates the brain, not vice versa. You're not a brain, a body or a soul. You're not confined to a finite part of reality. You're all of it. You are God. Consciousness is not physical. Reality is not physical. Reality is "appearance without substance": there is no "first cause" in any causal link.

I actually stopped my 3 year long daily meditation habit 2 weeks ago because I'm a simp for my ego.

Very comedic but very integral

That's the problem isn't it? I'm essentially turning away, dropping the meditation habit, but it keeps jumping up from behind. Meditation just happens spontaneously. It's like a part of me now. I also keep saying I know the solution to this (I'm actively avoiding the solution), so the reason I wrote all this is just to see if I'm not alone with having this type of dysfunction. I don't even know if I need advice. I just need to grow imo.

I know that "this is it", but I have this stupid belief that I gotta fix myself and grow up as a person first. Untill then, it's like I feel like I don't deserve it, that I'm not good enough for it, yet at the same time it's literally invading my life. So yeah it's gonna be interesting to see how this pans out. I have a suspicion that it will end with me essentially being forced down in a chokehold by it until the pain of consciously resisting it is so unbearable that I just let go. That's the idea I get from people like Jan Essman when he is talking about the kundalini process (paraphrasing): "once the kundalini process has begun, sooner or later you'll have no choice but to surrender to it". Granted, I don't have kundalini, but that particular idea seems to apply to this recent development in my life.

I'm 22, and I haven't had what I would characterize as a kundalini awakening, but I've had many "awakenings" where I again felt like I was dying, losing control, merging with God etc., and I do feel like I have what you can call energetic stuff happening throughout the day. The main thing is a subtle form of stiffness accompanied by small crackling noises every 5-ish seconds in the upper part of my spine, and if I sit in a comfortable upright position for prolonged periods of time, I interpret the crackling noises to be a type of unwinding of tension that goes on in my entire body. After a while, my body becomes very still, and the tension is concentrated in my forehead. The tension will keep building untill it sort of dissolves, and by then my mind is very quiet, and I'm heading straight down the path of feeling like I'm gonna die. I normally used to love when this kind of stuff would happen, but now it's happening on a totally different level than before, and it's scary. I know all that nonduality stuff: that fear is an illusion created by the ego, I'm the one creating the fear etc., but I just can't for the hell of me let go

Yes, and when I remember that I'm creating it, and that I'm essentially the creator of everything I experience, the experience keeps deepening and I have to physically contort myself and find a distraction for it to stop. It's really stupid.

I know that fighting it feels bad, but when I relax and let it run for too long, it also feels bad (feels like I'm dying). I'm basically stuck in a limbo, which I know very well is self-created, which is also why I feel utterly stupid for it. I feel like a coward that knows better, which makes me a dumb coward.

Fuck

Are you serious lmao

I know there is suffering, and I think you do too.

Ok. Do you think it's possible to end all suffering though?

So what you're saying is that the mind-body identification with suffering ceases, but suffering itself doesn't cease?

How can I know what this really means if I don't know the difference between pain and suffering?

To understand the depth of suffering, pleasure, and pain, and how it relates to enlightenment. It's the most central aspects of life. What purpose would it "not" serve knowing this things?

Alright, let's try again: Should sex feel better before or after enlightenment? Also how often do enlightened people cry? If an enlightened person stubs his toe, does it hurt? Does that pain = suffering? If so, do enlightened people suffer?