BarkingTurtle

Feminine and masculine are both present and are both needed for sexuality to manifest in the real world. I don't why these energies exist, but both of them are necessary for my survival.

Yes but there always two opposites in this world, just like the ying yang symbol. Good and bad, feminine and masculine compliments each other. The thing here is that both energies change within you all the time, you're just not aware of it, ofcourse if you try to control and be completely masculine you'll only feel incomplete without the feminine which gives so much joy and pleasures during our lifetimes! I've an exercise that you can do for the next week. Notice the differences of masculine and feminine energies. Notice that these energies will be found in both genders. Notice how these energies interconnect and interchange with each other. That's how you can get clear if going 50/50 is a good idea or not.

How can I integrate both masculinity and femininity into my life without any judgements that is better than the other, instead balancing the two out with knowledge that both of these energies masculine and feminine compliment each other? I would embrace both of these sides Masculine: career/purpose driven goal achieving machine who makes sharps and logical decisions for the sake of humanity. Feminine: Loving, Emotional, Charming, hell I don't know much about femininity only that there's a lot of emotion attached to it, and that's why I have to implement it into my life. But see by saying that about femininity I'm using my masculine side which gives me an idea of what feminine side looks like. It's a very subtle energy, a bit uncomfortable for some. It might be even scary for few, but don't worry we can all get into it slowly and surely. Balance between these two energies is crucial for our overall fulfilment. How can I be more feminine in my life? Listen with feelings, not with your head. Feel into the other person. How's is he/she feeling right now? Show empathy towards them. Be genuine. How can I be more masculine in my life? Listen with your head and put feelings aside for some time so you could find out a solution for a situation at hand with your analytical mind. To balance the two feel free to experiment and to feel your way out and in, there's not much thought that goes into balance, balance is already here, we can just become aware of these two energies and how it affects our lives.

So I just realised that to be sexually attractive, first I have to have some sort of desire to reproduce, otherwise I won't be able to find a mate by being detached from my primitive instincts. Am I aware of my natural instincts? Not so much. And I believe that is stopping me from achieving many things in my life. What's the best way to tune into my survivalist intuition? This intuition I'm pointing at holds a very special place in my book. I have experienced natural instinct throughout my journey and to be honest that's when everything went as smooth as it could go. It's like sliding on ice with melted butter on top. To hold my balance while I'm sliding I can grab on to other people that are sliding with me. And on the sexual terms, how can I turn on my natural, primitive self to attract women and success in my life?

That's what I thought. I've just experienced the perspective of other people. Me myself, I'm only into sex with girls, and as well I come from a place from tolerance to other sexuality like homosexuality. I believe it's my homophobia which judges all the gay/bi people since it's not accepted as a culture at my part. I don't know how to deal with this duality. So what does it mean now for my life? I'm a virgin, I never had sex apart from the story with that bi girl. I believe that's my way of seeing things is just being ignorant to the fact. Everytime I sit next to a girl in a bus, I feel her getting aroused, I get aroused myself. But I don't do nothing about it. I just sit and listen. Like some rock who can't move his dick into their pussy. It frustrates the hell out of me that I hold myself back with girls. And guys, gay guys, bi guys. I let them be as they are. Hell I already said to myself "I'm gay" "I accept it". That's when all of these homosexual thoughts were coming through and I hate to say this, but the moment I think about being gay, I turn away with disgust. I can't imagine having sex with a guy. It's fucking stupid and disgraceful. The HOCD article showed all of the neurotic behaviour of the condition. I didn't get it fully. I believe I'm running away from girls and going to run because of the experience I had with this girl. I'm afraid of girls. I'm afraid of being rejected by them. I'm afraid I'll never lose my virginity. Why do I have to be so specific about the gender? Like I'm proving to myself that I'm not gay and pussy is all I want. I see through the bullshit and I can't accept the fact that I crave sexual intimacy with anyone I meet up. All of this nonsense I'm writing is leading me to Tokyo. Like I'll go to Tokyo and fuck a ladyboy when I'm in my 50's before going to Mars. Judgements kill my vibe. I'm too concerned about my sexuality. I'm arguing with myself all the time on which gender I should pick. But there's no right answer. Both genders are great. My mind is so open I could think outside of reality and go back into it at the same time while doing a triple backflip with my eyes closed.

Dating back a month or two. I was contemplating on a question "What is ignorance?" And to be honest. It was intense. I never felt like this experience/contemplation would give me any benefit at all. Everything I contemplated on was a real strategy to distract myself from the real. I embodied ignorance through my calves very deeply, it was a huge burst of energy that made me shake my legs tremendously and gave a huge awe after it. I was baffled. I never had a similar experience like that. Because I got to contemplate on it and it was one of the first questions I have ever contemplated on. I believe it changed me in a bad way, I started to ignore the life around me. Other people. How can I counter ignorance? How can I be more alert and stable with myself?

??????

The sleeping itself is in a strange loop so there's really nothing to worry about. There is only a life to live and be aware of. There is only meditation with which we can enjoy life to the fullest.

@Sahil Pandit Depends on who's experience you're talking about. From the Ego's perspective it's not.

@Jamie Universe You're right. I get too emotional looking back at my past. Everything can be managed if applied with a spoon of consciousness. Thank you! I'm grateful for your response!

@thehero I like your username. That opened up my eyes! HOCD is a serious illness and it has to be treated. My insecurity about my sexuality came to an end. It's the homophobia that the culture has. Especially my countries. Of course blaming won't help. Looking at it objectively I can tell that approaching any human being or situation where anyone is discriminated with Love and Compassion will heal them towards their path.

I don't get this question. Why would you want to look at Leo's vision. When you can create your own? Are you trying to mentally imagine how Leo's life looks like, how wonderful it is and compare it with yours? If you're - Stop. And think. How does Leo's vision affect your life? Sure, you'll be inspired, you'll be motivated for however long. Maybe you'll even be influenced to follow his path. But is that what you really want? Is that what you want? To follow someone else's vision? I don't know about you, but I would rather follow my own path, my own vision. Leo said in his video, do your own thing! So I really doubt he is going to respond and waste his time on this question. I'm sorry.

I've been in both ends of the situation. Had people talking over trying to tell me something, was myself trying to get others attention. From the needy perspective (your friends) I can say that people want to get your attention, because they seek approval. They seek every little bit of validation that will prove to them that they're somehow worthy. Even if they get the validation it's shortcoming. Every time they do get approved, they feel a dopamine rush. Once that wares off, they get back to the worthless way of being and seek more approval. It's a never ending cycle. I don't know how you break the cycle, but the experience I was in when people where talking to me from both sides. I just told them to stop, said I was overwhelmed and asked them to speak one by one, starting with a person who said something first.

I don't know where this thought pattern is coming from. Maybe it's from the fact that I lived with a cousin which is bisexual and she had a lot of thoughts around homosexuality, as well as I worked with a gay co-worker who was the first person to accept me. There was this one time where I switched to from females to males on tinder and I've got an instant match, I amazed how that happened. Since with girls I didn't have much luck most of the time. Hell, the only time I came to close to sexual intercourse was oral sex and after she came.. I started dry humping her with my trousers on. I just had to take them off and put it in. But what she did she rejected me. She pushed me away saying: that's enough, I'm going to sleep in the room next door. I was crying my tears out since I lost my driving license that night. Everything came into place. I attached huge pain - rejection to girls and attached pleasure - acceptance to gay guys. I believe the emotion that is sitting on that experience is stopping me from looking at this clearly. I'm okay with homesexuality as long as any dick is away from my ass. All my hetersexual problems are imaginery and come from the ego and being insecure about myself.