Source_Mystic

@Nadosa I marked up all the problems you stated not to judge you but to show you that your body and mind are screaming that there is something very wrong. I do not know if it was a trauma of some sort or the onset of a mental illness. Ether way it is not your fault. Secondly trusting people here as qualified professionals is a mistake. We can encourage and help you find options but that is about it. My experience with suicide is such that I have known two people that attempted it and one of them succeeded. I also worked at a shelter and crisis line for people like yourself. Even with that experience I am not qualified. People stop seeing options and feel trapped then they only see one option. Suicide is not the answer. This way you are feeling is not a permanent state. I get you feel trapped frustrated depressed anxious and fearful. I completely understand you want instant change to make the pain stop. The fact that you even posted here is a good thing it means you are still looking for options and you are asking for help. People break when put under undue stress and when they do they all break in different ways you are human. Every person goes thought a emotional break of some kind in their life we all break differently But there is a way back. You need to seek out help if you are dissatisfied with the people that are trying to help you. Find others call a suicide prevention help line talk to someone that can get you the resources you need. Meditation is not meant to deal with this kind of crisis. You have options , maybe they are options you have not thought of but I assure you they are there. If you can not see them then get other people involved to help you find other alternatives that you can not see. Please call someone Immediately.

@arberor Glad I could help @Nahm With me it is Vis-a-vis wet erase markers. I almost always have a full white board or large mirror to spill out my mind.

I have fallen into this trap and your right humanity is fucked people are shity governments are corrupt. People are also most times doing the best they can in a sub optimal situation. People are inherently good and try to do good. “Hurt people hurt people. We are not being judgmental by separating ourselves from such people. But we should do so with compassion. Compassion is defined as a "keen awareness of the suffering of another coupled with a desire to see it relieved." People hurt others as a result of their own inner strife and pain. Avoid the reactive response of believing they are bad; they already think so and are acting that way. They aren't bad; they are damaged and they deserve compassion. Note that compassion is an internal process, an understanding of the painful and troubled road trod by another. It is not trying to change or fix that person.” Will Bowen “What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it .”Maya Angelou You are only seeing one side of reality and that is not truth your focusing on the negative aspects only. Try looking for positive or if you are brave see how the negative leads to the positive. Focusing on one part of a cycle dose not give you a complete understanding of the process. The deeper question is why are you fixating on external events that are so much bigger than you are that you can do nothing about. What is it you do not want to deal with in yourself. because I can assure you there is something. Changing the world means changing yourself first Focus on you. Sweep your own porch!

Great post it even made me laugh a few times. I never viewed a cold shower with this perspective thanks for sharing. Useful information. How to be a viking savage 1 Take a cold shower 2 Channel the hulk within 3 whhoooaaaaaaaa 4 Every problem in you life solved 100% (I am sure it changes your perspective but doubt this much) cold water is not a cure all. But thanks again for the entertaining post .

@arberor Ok your not a workaholic or a perfectionist you were just living life like one., But you are saying you are a type a personality that likes to be in control. I guess you have to do some deep searching then and ask yourself what is most important in your life. Then build that one piece at a time. I understand being undervalued at a job. My advice for that would be find another job. The jobs that you self sabotaged you should be more upset with yourself than another. You seem like you have been under a enormous pressure for a good amount of time. You seem to be angry and jaded and talking things personally. There might be underlining issues that you might want to explore with a counselor. You may have to work though these issues with someone to get past them. Know one here can get to the core of the problem . The best you can get is some of us pointing you in a direction that might help . Good luck

@Charlotte Sounds like you are on the right track all I had to her was chia seeds and I know you are doing you research into food. Juicing can be really manageable if you juice in bulk and consume juice before 24 hours elapses as that when fresh juice dies so to speak. If you have a small juicer that difficult to clean maybe get a larger one. We have breiville and it has a pitcher. It really is a matter of rinsing it right away. If you wait you are compounding the cleaning you have to do. Our juicer takes all of 4 minuets minuets to clean after. Blending is a good way to start the morning as well and cleaning is almost nonexistent with a blender. Good luck

@Samuel Garcia Vitamins are basically non regulated especially in the u.s. So finding natural sources is more reliable.

Acidophilus is worth it and some others that will do you good but most are a waste of money. Juicing would give you more in way of concentrated vitamins and minerals. Other than that blend and eat more fresh vegetables. Fruits should be eaten much less because of the sugar 20 % fruit 80% vegetable is the right balance.

@arberor You are over worked and under rested you have your hand in too many pots at one time. Your human Slow the fuck down. My first priority would be to find a job that is in your field that gives you a reasonable time off. My impression of you from your post is you are a type A workaholic and perfectionist. I could be wrong but that is my impression. You need time off. I have seen people in burnout and you fit the bill my friend. Your mind is working so fast you can not even take a deep breath. Call in tomorrow and take a day off and breathe.... just breathe and do absolutely nothing because that is the hardest thing for you to do. Then REST. If you keep up this pace you are going to burn out and self destruct. I agree with Nahm but that would come after you get some rest for your mind and body. Right now you are in a mental tail spin and you do not know what side is up. 1 SLOW THE FUCK DOWN 2 Take some time off even if it is a day or two if you have vacation time take it. 3 Get a reasonable job that affords rest and spare time.

This is not even a question. You two do not sound compatible. One there is a sex drive difference and two He seems to not care or want to please you. That is not a relationship he sounds like a narcissist or someone with narcissistic tendencies. Ether way. Get the fuck out of doge girl , run now run fast this will not get better only worse.

@Ether The answer to your question is mindfulness. Only concentrate on what you are doing at the time in the present moment . When the monkey mind throws a pink elephant as a distraction this could be a emotion a appointment or just a stray thought . Just acknowledge it yep that's a nice pink elephant. Then go back to your mindfulness . Just do not ignore or push off other thoughts as it will make the problem worse. Just a acknowledge them then move back to you mindfulness . The frequency of stray thoughts or monkey wrenches as I call them becomes fewer and fewer. This technique sounds easy and it is but the longer you do it in your every day life the harder it seems. I have had phenomenal results with it myself as a matter of fact need to get back to a more regular practice of it myself. This post acted as a reminder. Thank you and good luck

Meditation calms the internal tide of being , disciplines the monkey mind, Gets rid of mental constructs and abstractions , Centers focus. Clears awareness. Improves concentration ,Lowers blood pressure. Improves visualization, Improves intent. That and so much more. Essentially meditation empty's you out so you can experience the good stuff. Experiencing reality is not about being full it is about becoming a empty vessel that can be filled with any experience at any time. To illustrate this , I view a person As large ceramic vase 4 foot high so. Normally the vase can be filled with water and a lot of it. What meditation does is develops a crack in your vase so that the water flows out almost as fast as it pores in. Meditation empties your awareness so that you can experience the present moment fully. The water is experience yet there is no past there is no future there is only the water of NOW flowing though your empty awareness. Hope that helps that is the best I can do.

Understanding nonduality is one thing ? I understand your statements from that point view but you can not talk to everyday people like that , unless they are specifically wanting to understand nonduality. Every conversation does not have to be a extensional dialog to convert everyone to nonduality. Nonduality is just one facet of reality. Explore More Learn more. Move forward How about move on to the next thing awareness of the present moment without thought. Or you could try to understand perception and how it colors our experiences. See nonduality is not about separating yourself or putting yourself higher in any regard it is about the fundamental unity and connection of all things namely oneness. Qualitative arguments on what things are defined as are really missing the point. That is for you and your inner work. But you have to be careful you do not fall into the trap of definition though language. Work on awareness in the present moment.

Do not search for a guru Search for truth. Do not follow in someone else's shadow. Do not lick someone else's boots and discount your own experience.

@Leo Gura After being here around 10 days ... I have come to the same conclusion. DO THE WORK. None of us can give you enlightenment or actualization. The people that are serious will try to help you but at a certain point Like me they will take two steps back and go back to their practices whether it be self-inquiry meditation or whatever they have found that works. Practice is where all the REAL WORK happens. I am all up for helping anyone on any topic I am qualified to but so many of these threads are about concepts and mental constructs. That is not what enlightenment is about. At its core it is exactly the opposite the more enlightened you get you find you are less and less influenced by the mental abstractions everyone else takes for reality. Your language becomes awareness based. I would suggest to get the most out of this place look for threads on practices or techniques that you might be unaware of or ask for direct help in a thread on something you are working on. Use people here as a resource not a crutch. Stay away from all the conceptual mental masturbation. It is just a waste of time which could be used for practice.

In the simplest form Connection unity and love. I move towards things that connect and away from things isolate and separate. In a purest sense I guess It is the study of the really real or the truth of everything in existence. Pealing away the layers of illusion deception conditioning and lies until I get to a unified understanding of everything including myself. The last thing I would say for me spirituality is : Being the awareness of NOW.

I think Being authentic is more important than being cool or popular. Popularity really is a illusion and a trap. It is a illusion because you think all the people that acknowledged you as cool are really there for you. I assure you they will not be. It is a trap because you will find yourself doing things that go against your authentic self just to be popular. All this will do take you off the path you should be on. I can tell you from personal experience when your life gets really challenging it is your friends that stand up for you not the masses of people that find you charismatic. I invest in relationships where individuals genuinely care about my well-being and I care for theirs. That is what you really want.

@ArasH Thank you , I can see how in these post you can see my ego come out a bit. That happens from time to time and I can understand and completely validate that view. As to the content of what I said I stand by all of it. I was correcting direct misconceptions on what enlightenment is. As for elevating myself go view the all the content that I post and you will get a better understanding of who I am and what my motivations are or don't. If you would like to talk some time I invite you to drop me a message in my box I will freely talk to you about any topic I am qualified to discuss. I went back and deleted that is absurd ....and you guys kill me.... as well a changed .... the last conclusion so that it can not be taken as a judgment and is more practical. Thanks for you input

@Leo Gura Thank you good to know for many reasons especially if you are trying to maximise effect and minimise cost.

@How to be wise Pracice is 100% what is important. I have nothig more to say on this topic. Good luck

@How to be wise I never said any such thing. The assumption is yours. It does not matter if they crave enlightenment or not. What is important is that they start practicing things that get them to it now and stick to it and persist. Craving will naturally fall way. As leaving attachments behind is a level of enlightenment. Just telling someone the truth is not how it works the truth must be internalized.

I do not use "life energy" I use awareness in the here and now.

Self actualization is how to be a successful well adjusted human. Think of actualization as a masters degree in humanity. Enlightenment is a masters degree in reality. They are defiantly two different things.

@egoless You doubt he is fully enlightened ? What an absurd comment. No one is fully enlightened. Enlightenment is not a one and done kind of thing nor is it a "well I meditated 20 years and I reached the ultimate enlightenment state" Enlightenment is a ongoing process that never ends. exactly! @ArasH @egoless You guys kill me .... "It was not a permanent enlightenment" Enlightenment is a ongoing process and if you get enlightened on any level it is yours to keep. It is not like you can loose the lessons you learned in the process like the keys to your car. It is obvious you have no idea What or How enlightenment process works or operates.

If you find the Buddha kill him !