Genghis Khan

@Serotoninluv Truth is the most important thing to me. I don't know what I am, why I'm here, or what this reality really is. I don't know what to do with myself other than to figure that out and survive long enough to do so. That being said, I meditate daily and strive to be as present and mindful as possible, but I still don't understand what this existence is.

It requires vegetarianism, to abstain from drugs, and to not be a criminal or any kind of burden on society. Other than that, there are no compulsory requirements to be a member. The reason i feel it will hinder my money situation is because the facility is far away and will be costly to attend it due to transportation. Not only that, Also, participating in the activities there will require a lot of extra time that my financial situation won't allow. I also really do not enjoy working and I feel it consumes energy I could be using towards more spiritual pursuits. If I'm being honest, I'm actually really concerned about work because I do not enjoy my job and I don't know what I can do for work that I would actually love. I see work as a drag and I know that's not a good thing. I should either learn to enjoy work or work for something I'm passionate about, but I just don't know how to do that yet. The organization itself is global and diverse and appears to be quite legitimate. It's not necessarily underground, I use that term because it's so obscure that the only way you could possibly find it is if someone introduces you to it. Here's the website: https://www.rssb.org/index.html And yes, I do desire to be a part of a spiritual community. I'm the only person in my life that's interested in spirituality, other than rare encounters in public or the internet. I want to be involved in a community of people with whom my goals are aligned with, and I see nothing wrong with that. This organization seems to be exactly what I've been searching for and it's something I can be passionate about. I feel like this organization can help me align my life with my own values if nothing else. I want to put all of myself into it but I feel restricted by my current obligations.

Hello friends. Today I'm going to share with you something I wrote during an awakening experience. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I must embrace this spiritual enlightenment business as my top priority in this finite life. I have recently been introduced to an underground spiritual organization dedicated to realizing God by a local psychic and I'm currently making a decision whether to pursue membership with this organization and fully dedicating my life to the path. I wonder if I should throw myself into the gauntlet of full self realization or to focus on my material life. I'm attached to my current life, but I also want to put more effort into figuring out what I am. I'm not financially stable, I have no career, and I make ends meet doing basic work as a package handler. I don't even own a car and I live with roommates in a cheap apartment and I have no real education or valuable skills. My material life is pitiful according to most western standards. I feel as though my life is at a crossroads. Will spiritual purification improve my material situation naturally, or will it hinder it and push me further into poverty? I want some advice. I also wanted to share something I wrote during my last awakening experience. I'll put it in quotations below. "My orientation towards reality may have been flawed for a long time. I have observed that this mind system compulsively rejects the notion that this whole entire reality is literally this very manifestation within which these words appear. This very displaying these words is the only reality that exists, I feel naked. Every human that appears in reality around me already knows everything about me. Every lie I ever told was utterly pointless. Every message that responds to this is actually just my own thoughts anyway. But why am I being forced to play pretend with all of you? Why haven't I ever mustered the will to simply confront reality as it is? All this time I've just been sitting here acting like a jack ass. I have always been pretending and acting out scenarios for no apparent reason. I just want to ask and hope for an answer. Why does this mind system do this. Even now, as I try as hard as I can to force this awareness on reality, there is this powerful force pushing it back. Every few seconds this consciousness shifts back into an engaged state in which there is a strong compulsion to act out fabricated stories which take the awareness off of the truth. and I all of you know exactly what I'm talking about. So you know what? I'm not going to continue to participate in this pretend game . I'm talking about every single hunan, and every single piece of media making an appearance in this reality. What are you gonna do about it? Why does this mind constantly strive to take the focus off of the truth? Every time I start to focus on the truth and make actual progress, this reality has some kind of negative backlash against it. This mind system is constantly shifting the focus away from the irrefutable fact that the entirety of reality and existence resides within this content producing field which itself generated these sentences. these words will only ever exist as a manifestation taking place All I see is a highly complex multi-dimensional sensory field producing an immersive continuum of unrelenting content which includes these words at they appear here on reality. and it has a will to shift the focus of reality onto some thought-chain scenario. Even right now as I write this, this mind is desperately trying to draw my attention away from this new epiphany."

Thanks for the advice. I found some reiki classes in my area, and I'm planning to attend and check it out. Magic feels very daunting to me, and I'm not sure how to approach it, so for now I'm going to seek teachers in real life. Lately I've been focusing on uncovering my deepest subconscious emotions to better understand myself. One thing I've noticed in myself is psychic abilities. I can sense other people's emotions, like a very sensitive empathic sense. It makes human interaction far more intense because I feel like I'm flooded by the other person's spirit. I also have noticed that the emotions and thoughts I dwell on tend to cause manifestations in reality that correspond with that energy. Along with the empathy, since my brief awakening, I noticed that my social life as improved dramatically. I noticed that people are uplifted by my presence, and I have a lot of fun interacting with other people. 6 months ago my social anxiety was crippling to the point of dysfunction, and now I am completely free of social anxiety. Life doesn't even feel hard or hostile like it used to. It just feels like a game. I'm not worried about anything and I feel amazing. After the enlightenment, all the biggest problems in my life naturally dissolved. I was unemployed and on the verge of being homeless while living in squalor. Now I am financially stable, I have savings, and can live comftortably working only 20 hours per week. I used to be socially inept, and now I'm a confident social butterfly and I feel appreciated by my peers. The only reason for the success really was that I had my faith in the universe and myself, that everything will work out if I want it to. Insisting that I am the universe has changed my life. I'm ready for a deeper enlightenment experience. I feel like I've only pulled back the first layer of the onion. I resolved my most obvious emotional problems, but I'm now uncovering deeper, more fundamental emotions within myself that only now can really be confronted.

Could you link me to any sources that can teach me how to utilize magick that can produce specific results? I want to prove it to myself irrevocably. I tend to agree with occultists, the "physical world" is God's realm itself, and it's indistinct from the mind. So if one can control the mind, they can necessarily control reality.

I highly appreciate the advice everyone, thank you for the encouragement. I started this thread shortly after having my first mystical experience, and it was a tremendously emotional experience. It's been 6 months since then, and I have stabilized quite a bit. I have realized that deep inside myself I have emotions that I've never really confronted or matured out of, and so most of my focus has been put towards understanding my emotions. The problem with enlightenment is that part of me wants to emotionally reject the experience, and I still don't understand why. It makes me feel like I can no longer go back to what I was. And I am forever cut off from a significant portion of people due to having a radically different attitude towards life. While other people find it difficult to relate to me, I have noticed that people began treating me differently since I've changed. In my everyday life I've began to behave as though I'm God, and I've embraced that my experience as the entirety of the universe. I make friends much more easily and can socialize with no anxiety, while before I couldn't socialize at all due to my own fears. But now I realize that I'm only interacting with myself, and I have nothing to fear from other people. Of course, my level of mindfulness shifts, and I still often slip back into old habits. The most profound change I've found in myself since my brief awakening is that I'm brutally honest when speaking to others. I always say what I actually feel, instead of saying what people want to hear. I used to always interact with others in a fake manner, and somehow this habit dissolved spontaneously, and it has improved my life dramatically. Since I've posted this thread, I've actually moved across the country and started a new life in order to create a space for greater spiritual growth. I now live a very minimalist lifestyle in a rural town. I pay cheap rent, and only have to work 20 hours a week to survive. I'm devoting my free time towards a passion project I'm working on with two good friends of mine. I'm going to start a channel on YouTube and reveal my true face to the internet. In October I will start uploading videos. Next year, I'm going to film an indie film, with just me and a few friends and upload it for free on YouTube. I've been struck with a genius idea for a film which has inspired me to create it. I'm going to use myself and a few friends as actors and produce and edit the film myself. The script is already complete, but I must wait until next year because I need to travel to specific locations at certain times of the year in order to shoot the film. I will not say what it's about but I will say that it aims to popularize 5-MeO-DMT and make concepts found on forums like these more familiar to the general public.

I'm not sure what to write here, because I'm not sure what I am. I feel like reality is breaking down. My mind is gone. Something has happened to me which can only be described as an extreme existential crisis and it's the most gruesome experience I've ever faced. I saw something that instantly changed everything about this life, and my mind is working tirelessly to take my focus off this reality. My mental state is one of shock, accompanied by confusion, fear, denial, and quite possibly psychosis. I'm having great difficulty just writing this, because my mind is so broken that I can't even be certain about what I'm writing. I've never experienced this level of emotional turmoil and inner conflict before. I truly feel as though I'm going insane. I feel like I've just stumbled into the secret of reality, and in doing so I have inadvertently rendered myself psychotic and unstable in the process. In writing this, I need to be extremely careful because I have become aware of the apparent variables affected by what is said here, which is to say that this writing is intimately connected with everything else which manifests itself in reality. The only thing I can do to make sure this writing correctly yields beneficial responses is to be as honest as humanly possible. I can no longer allow for my past habits to continue. Every thought I had and every word I spoke and written were all infected by a need to posture myself by projecting an image of an intelligent, insightful person, and proceeding to endlessly convince myself and others of this pretence. It was pure arrogance and ego fueled by petty juvenile emotions. It seems as though all my primary motivations stemmed from the need to impress and gain acceptance from other people and myself. It's humbling to know that it's taken this long to become fully conscious of this neurotic mechanism which plagued my subconscious mind like a virus. Luckily, this imbalance has steadily subsided as I've learned to become more mindful of my feelings. Now that I ego-checked myself, I can properly discuss what has happened and why I've happened upon the subject of Magic. Recently, I had the epiphany that Magic is real, or at the very least, the word "Magic" can be used to describe phenomenon inherent in reality. Magic became open to me when I had a shocking mystical experience of sorts roughly two weeks ago. Unfortunately, what I saw, or felt, is too much to even try describe in words. My attempts to access these memories result in a sense of fear, a fear of the radical power of the Ultimate Truth, which is a clear result of my imbalance. Ceaseless confusion arouse after this experience, but in the end, I walked away with one fact clear in my mind. The universe is completely, utterly, a mental construct. It's alive, everything I've experienced is intimately connected with me and my mind, to the point of being indistinguishable. The entire "external world" is actually the internal world. The internal world works hand in hand with the external world. My thoughts, emotions, words, and imagination are inevitably connected with what we call "Physical Reality" or "The Real World" or "Life". The greater implication of this fact is that I was wrong about what I was. Whatever I am, it's much bigger than what I was lead to believe. What I am is something that is pushing everything that's occuring in "reality" including both the mind, body, sensations, and every possible manifestation that occurs within the universal awareness, which is what is occuring right now. These words are appearing. Whatever it is that is allowing these words to manifest and appear, that is The Ultimate. These words exist and are making an appearance inside The One Reality. If you are reading this, then you can verify that this is in fact The One. As you read this, notice that everything that exists in the entire universe is taking place right here in this awareness, the very same place in which these words reside. The One, also known as God, is the source of all manifestations and it's preeminent forever because all that occurs is The One. It's from this starting point that reality can be properly studied. This is the knowledge that is changing me and taking control. The strangest thing about this realization is that it did not come from an outside source. It rose to the surface from deep within like a long forgotten memory. It was new and radical, but it came from deep within the subconscious. As I reflected on this insight, I realized that many things I previously thought were ridiculous are actually extremely prodound topics. I once mocked religion, but I've began studying every religion and identifying the esoteric knowledge hidden within. I have become fascinated by the occult mysteries which are present in every notable culture, particularly the use of Magical Rituals. Magic, an art that is shunned by modern materialists, is actually one of the deepest subjects humans have studied. It is Life Mastery taken to its furthest levels. Magic is an ability that generally can only be accessed by disciplined spiritual practitioners, because only non-dualistic thinkers can understand how it works and have purified themselves enough to use it effectively. Why do I say Magic is real? Because everything is Magic. Magic is the art of using Will to manipulate reality. When you are everything, using your Will to change reality becomes much more feasible, because it's a process that is constantly occuring as the subconscious mind is constantly calculating the entire universe and determining what appears. Magic can be done simply by making an impression on the subconscious mind calculated to bring about a certain result, and one can experiment with this and notice the results. So do any of you practice any form of the Magic I am refering to? Is all of this pure innane, psychotic ramblings, or am I onto something?

I'd like to share a revelation with you all. I've come to realize that this website, Actualized.org, does not actually help you towards awakening in any substantial way. Yes, it gives you important information and tools, it gives you knowledge that is highly advantageous to have, and it gives you a strong conceptual framework to serve as a launching pad of sorts, but it does not tangibly help you to awaken. Awakening is a solitary activity. It's accomplished through passive observation, mindfulness, and intense focus on the present moment. None of these things happen through this website. At best, this website will convince you to do those things. The true essence of the content is actually focused on the ego. This is an excellent place to educate oneself on the machinations of the human ego, and how to manipulate them. The greatest tool I gained from listening to Leo is understanding the motives of the ego, and all of the tricks it uses to turn your awareness away from the truth, and make delusions more appealing than actuality. I learned all of the techniques involved in using the English language to weave illusions ( or "thought programs") to rationalize almost any viewpoint. The big lesson, is that almost any worldview can be rationalized and made to appear moral and reasonable. The actual arguments don't really matter, the deeper essence of ideology is to say whatever needs to be said to serve the agenda of whoever is propagating the ideology. It's all about appealing to the identity of the person and twisting the motives of that identity towards a certain end via fallacious arguments and manipulation tactics. I feel like a much more capable writer, thinker, and manipulator because of my understanding of the nature of ideology. Calculated moralizations, backwards rationalization, fallacious arguments, hyperbole, dramatizing, and other tools are extremely effective for manipulating unwitting individuals. Thanks to the work I've done, I've become rather desensitized to the manipulation tactics. I've become hyper aware that this language is merely a tool to weave illusions. How often do you look at uses of the human language, and notice all the fallacious, deceptive, and slippery tactics used to make simple ideas real? I have trouble looking at language as anything but pure illusions designed to manipulate the mind towards certain prompted behaviors. Even this very paragraph you're reading is nothing more than an illusion that I've created, manipulating you into seeing a certain perspective. The English language is almost impossible to use without being manipulative in tonality. Do you think that at some point in the future, we'll have to invent a new language that can serve as an accurate, and objective method of describing reality? Because it seems to me that the English language is so inherently deceptive and fallacious that it's usage will forever hold people back from thinking properly. I feel like my mind is handicapped because this language is so deeply ingrained. The English language is so rich with deceptive tactics that one can only imagine how much self-deception can be attributed to the fact that we think using this language.

I'm wondering whether Leo has read this book. I'm bumping this while he's online in the hope he sees this. It'd be interesting to see what he does with this information.

@Arhattobe I understand your point and I'd like to clarify that my writing style is only meant to express that this is a person who has clearly done a lot of inner work. I mean it as an inspiration. I'm certain that there are important insights that are talked about on this forum that this particular person hasn't heard about. There's a lot of diversity in this field.

You don't have to order a physical copy, you know. You can read it for free here

I guess I'm just filling in for Leo this week lol You guys need a fresh supply of juicy insights. It's time to go even deeper on this forum before we stall out and stagnate.

Here is an excerpt from John C. Lilly's book, Programming and Metaprogramming the Human Biocomputer, to give you guys a sort of introduction to his work. It's probably formatted weird because I copied and pasted, I'll fix later. BASIC ASSUMPTIONS The basic assumptions are as follows: 1. The human brain is assumed to be an immense biocomputer, several thousands of times larger than any constructed by Man from nonbiological components by 1965. The numbers of neurons in the human brain are variously estimated at 13 billions (1.3 times ten to the tenth) with approximately five times that many glial cells. This computer operates continuously throughout all of its parts and does literally millions of computations in parallel simultaneously. It has approximately two million visual inputs and one hundred thousand acoustic inputs. It is hard to compare the operations of such a magnificent computer to any artificial ones existing today because of its very advanced and sophisticated construction. 2. Certain properties of this computer are known, others are yet to be found. One of these properties obviously is a very large memory storage. Another is control over hundreds of thousands of outputs in a coordinated and program- med fashion. Other examples are the storage and evocation of all those complex behaviors and perceptions known as speech, hearing and language. Some of the more unusual properties of this computer are given further along in this paper. 3. Certain programs are builtin, within the difficult-to-modify parts of the (macro and micro) structure of the brain itself. At the lowest possible level such programs which are builtin are those of feeding, eating, sex, avoidance and approach programs, certain kinds of fears, pains, etc. 4. Programs vary in their permanence, some are apparently evanescent and erasable, others operate without apparent change for tens of years. Among the evanescent and erasable programs one might categorize the ability to use visual projection in the service of one's own thinking. One finds this ability with a very high incidence among children and a very low incidence among adults. An example of a program operating without change for tens of years one can show handwriting, over a long series of years, to maintain its own unique patterns. 5. Programs are acquirable throughout life. Apparently no matter how old a person is, there is still a possibility of acquiring new habits. The difficulties of acquisition may increase with age, however, it is not too sure that this is correct. The problem may not be with acquiring programs so much as a decrease in the motivation for acquiring programs. 6. The young newly growing computer acquires programs as its structure expands some of these take on the appea- rance of builtin permanence. An example of such acquisition of programs in a child is in the pronunciation of words. Once it agrees with those of the parents the pronunciation is very difficult to change later, i.e., there is really no great motivation for the child to change a particular pronunciation when it is satisfactory to those who listen. 7. Some of the programs of the young growing computer are in the inherited genetic code; how these become active and to what extent is known only in a few biochemical-behavioral cases, at variance with the expectable and usual patterns of development. The socalled Mongoloid phenomenon is inherited and develops at definite times in the individual's life. There are several other interesting clinical entities which appear to be genetically determined. To elicit the full potential of the young growing computer requires special environments to avoid negative antigrowth kinds of programs being inserted in the young computer early. 8. The inherited genetic programs place the upper and the lower bounds on the total real performance and on the potential performance of the computer at each instant of its life span. Once again we are assuming that the best environment is presented to the young organism at each part of its life span. It is not meant to imply that such an environment currently is being achieved. This basic assumption seems highly probable but would be very difficult to test. 9. The major problems of the research which are of interest to the author center on the erasability, modifiability, and creatability of programs. In other words, I am interested in the processes of finding metaprograms (and methods and substances) which control, change, and create the basic metaprograms of the human computer. It is not known whether one can really erase any program. Conflicting schools of thought go from the extremes that one stores everything within the computer and never erases it to only the important aspects and functions are stored in the computer and hence, there is no problem of erasing. Modifications of already existing programs can be done with more or less success. The creation of new programs is a difficult assignment. How can one recognize a new program once it is created? This new program may merely be a variation on already stored programs. 10. To date some of the metaprograms are unsatisfactory (educational methods for the very young, for example). It is doubtful if any metaprogram is fully satisfactory to the inquiring mind. Some are assumed to be provisionally satisfactory for current heuristic reasons. To keep an open mind and at the same time a firm enough belief in certain essential metaprograms is not easy; in a sense we are all victims of the previous metaprograms which have been laid down by other humans long before us. 11. The human computer has general purpose properties within its limits. The definition of general purpose implies the ability to attack problems that differ not only in quantitative degree of complexity but also that differ qualitatively in the levels of abstraction in the content dealt with. One can shift rapidly one's mind and its attention from one area of human activity to another with very little delay in the reprogramming of one's self to the new activity. The broader the front of such reprogramming the more general purpose the computer is. The ability to move from the interhuman business world to the laboratory world of the scientist would be an example of a fairly general purpose computer. 12. The human computer has stored program properties. A stored program is a set of instructions which are placed in the memory storage system of the computer and which control the computer when orders are given for that pro- gram to be activated. The activator can either be another system within the same computer, or someone, or some situation outside the computer. 13. The human computer, within limits yet to be defined, has "selfprogramming" properties, and otherpersons programming properties. This assumption follows naturally from the previous one but brings in the systems within the mind which operate at one level of abstraction above that of programming. As is shown in Fig. 1, one literally has to talk about selfmetaprogramming as well as selfprogramming. This does not imply that the whole computer can bethought of as the self. Only small portions of the systems operating at a given instant are taken up by the selfmetaprograms. In other words there has to be room for the huge store of programs themselves, of already builtin circuitry for instinctual processes, etc. All of these exist in addition to others leaving only a portion of the circuitry available for the selfmetaprograms. The next section emphasizes this aspect. 14. This computer has selfmetaprogramming properties, with limits determinable and to be determined. (Note: selfmetaprogramming is done consciously in metacommand language. The resulting programming then starts and continues below the threshold of awareness). Similarly, each computer has a certain level of ability in metaprogramming othersnotself. 15. The older classifications of fields of human endeavor and of science are redefinable with this view of the human brain and the human mind. For example, the term suggestibility has often been used in a limited context of program- ming and of being programmed by someone outside. Hypnotic phenomena are seen when a given computer allows itself to be more or less completely programmed by another one. Metaprogramming is considered a more inclusive term than suggestibility. Metaprogramming considers sources, inputs, outputs, and central processes rather than just the end result of the process (see Fig. 1). Suggestibility names only the property of receiving orders and carrying them out rather than considering the sources, inputs, outputs, and central processes (ref. H. Bernheim, Clark Hull). 16. The mind is defined as the sum total of all the programs and the metaprograms of a given human computer, whether or not they are immediately elicitable, detectable, and visibly operational to the self or to others. (Thus, in alternative terminology, the mind includes unconscious and instinctual programs.) This definition and basic assumption has various heuristic advantages over the older terminologies and concepts. The mind-brain dichotomy is no longer necessary with this new set of definitions. The mind is the sum of the programs and metaprograms, i.e., the software of the human computer. 17. The brain is defined as the visible palpable living set of structures to be included in the human computer; the computer's real boundaries in the body are yet to be fully described (biochemical and endocrinological feedback from target organs, for example). The boundary of the brain, of course, may be considered as the limits of the extensions of the central nervous system into the periphery. One would include here also the so-called autonomic nervous system as well as the CNS. 18. There is in certain fields of human thinking and endeavor, a necessity to have a third entity, sometimes including, sometimes not needing the brain-mind-computer; commonly this entity is defined as existing by theologians and other persons interested in religion. Whether the term "spirit" or "soul" or other is used is immaterial in this frame- work. Such terms inevitably come up in the discussion of the ultimate meanings of existence, the origins of the brainmind computers, the termination or the destinations of self after bodily death, and the existence or non- existence of minds greater than ours, within or outside of braincomputers. This extra-brain-mind-computer entity can be included in this theory if and when needed. (I agree that such assumptions may be needed to give overall meaning to the whole of Man. Religion is an area for experimental science. Work starts in this area with the basic assumptions of William James, the great psychologist. The definitions in this area of this theory may be expanded in the future. Some compound term like "brain-mind-spirit-computer may be developed at that time). There is still the problem of the existence theorem to be satisfied in regard to this third entity. There are some persons who assume it exists; there are others who assume it does not exist. 19. Certain chemical substances have programmatic and/or metaprogrammatic effects, i.e., they change the operations of the computer, some at the programmatic level and some at the metaprogrammatic level. Some substances which are of interest at the metaprogrammatic level are those that allow reprogramming, and those that allow and facilitate modifications of the metaprograms. (The old terms for these substances are loaded with diag- nostic, therapeutic, medical, moral, ethical, and legal connotation). To be scientifically useful the social connotations are removed. Such terms as "psychopharmacologically active drugs", "psychotomimetics", "tranquilizers", "narcotics", "drugs," "anaesthetics", "analgesic", etc. are used in a new theory without the therapeutic, diagnostic, moral, ethical, and legal connotations; all of this area should be subjected to careful reevaluation with the new view in mind. Applications of good theory to the social levels may help to unravel this area of controversy. For example, the term "reprogramming substances" may be appropriate for compounds like lysergic acid diethyl- amide. For substances like ethyl alcohol the term "metaprogram-attenuating substances" may be useful. Similarly the theory proposed may be useful in other areas in the classical fields of psychopharmacology, neurophysiology, bio- chemistry, and psychology, among others. Some of the detailed operations of the brain itself can be operationally organized to show how programs are carried out by excitationinhibitiondisinhibition patterns among and in neural masses and sheets (for example, the reticular activating-inhibiting system, the rewardpunishment systems, the cerebralcortical conditionable systems, etc.). 20. It is not intended that I be dogmatic in the new definitions of this version of the theory. Speed in the recording of the ideas is preferred to perfection of the concepts and deriving the ultimate in internal consistency. As the theory grows, so may grow its accuracy and applicability. It is intended that the theory remains as openminded as possible without sacrificing specificity in hazy generality. The language chosen is as close to basic English as possible. As the theory develops, a proper kind of symbolism may be developed to succinctly summarize the points and allow manipulations of the logic to elucidate elaborations of the argument in various cases. It is known that the common "machinelanguage" of mammalian brains is not yet discovered. The selfmetaprogram language is some individual variation of the basic native language in each specific human case. All of the levels and each level expressed in the selfmetaprogram language for selfprogramming cover very large segments of the total operation of the computer, rather than details of its local operations. Certain concepts of the operation of computers, once effectively introduced into a given mindbraincomputer, change its metaprograms rapidly. Language now takes on a new precision and power in the programming process. 21. Certain kinds of subjective experience reveal some aspects of the operations of the computer to the self. Changes in the states of consciousness are helpful in delineating certain aspects of the bounds and the limits of these operations. Inspection of areas of stored data and programs not normally available is made possible by special techniques. Special aspects and areas of stored programs can be visualized, felt, heard, lived through or replayed, or otherwise elicited from memory storage by means of special techniques and special instructions. The evocation can be confined to one or any number of sensory modes, with or without motor replay simultaneously. 22. After and even during evocation from storage, within certain limits, desired attenuations, corrections, additions, and new creations with certain halflives can be made. These can be done with (fixed but as yet not determinable) halflives in conscious awareness, and can subsequently be weakened or modified or replaced, to a certain extent to be determined individually. An unmodifiable halflife can turn up for certain kinds of programs subjected to antithetical metaprograms, i.e., orders to weaken, modify or replace a program act as antithetical metapro- grams to already existing programs or metaprograms. 23. New areas of conscious awareness can be developed, beyond the current conscious comprehension of the self. With courage, fortitude, and perseverance the previously experienced boundaries can be crossed into new territories of subjective awareness and experience. New knowledge, new problems, new puzzles are found in the innermost explorations. Some of these areas may seem to transcend the operations of the mindbraincomputer itself. In these areas there may be a need for the metacomputer mappings; but first the evasions constructed by the computer itself must be found, recognized, and reprogrammed. New knowledge often turns out to be merely and hidden knowledge after mature contemplative analysis. 24. Some kinds of material evoked from storage seem to have the property of passing back in time beyond the beginning of this brain to previous brains at their same stage of development; there seems to be a passing of specific information from past organisms through the genetic code to the present organism; but, again, this idea may be a convenient evasion, avoiding deeper analysis of self. One cannot make this assumption that storage in memory goes back beyond the spermegg combination or even to the spermegg combination until a wishful phantasy cons- tructed to avoid analyzing one's self ruthlessly and objectively is eliminated. 25. Apparently not all programs are revisable. The reasons seem various; some are held by feedback established with other mindbraincomputers in the life involvement necessary for procreation, financial survival, and practice of business or profession. Other nonrevisable programs are those written in emergencies in the early growth years of the computer. The programs dealing with survivals of the young self sometimes seem to have been written in a hurry in desperate attempts to survive; these seem most intransigent. 26. Priority lists of programs can function as metaprograms. Certain programs have more value than others. By making such lists the individual can find desired revision points for rewriting important metaprograms. In other words it is important to determine what is important in one's own life. 27. The basic bodily and mental function programs and their various forms dealt with in verbalvocal modes (words, speech, etc.) have been described in great detail in the psychoanalytic literature. Evasion, denial, and repressionare varieties of metaprograms dealing with the priority list of programs. Metaprograms to hide (repress) certain kinds of storage material are commonly found in certain persons. Such analyses are confined to the verbalvocal- acoustic modes. Encounters with other persons in the real world are much more powerful in terms of modi- fications of programs than either psychoanalysis or selfanalysis. For example learning through sexual inter- course cannot be given through the verbalvocal mode. 28. The detailed view of certain kinds of nonspeech, nonverbal learning programs, i.e., some of the methods of introducing such programs and parts thereof, are exemplified in the work of I. P. Pavlov and of B. F. Skinner. Some of these results are the teaching and the learning of a simple code or language, a code with nonverbal elements (nonvocalized and nonacoustic) with autonomic components (Gordon Pask, 1966). Other motor outputs than the phonation apparatus are used. 29. The rewardpunishment dichotomy or spectrum is critically important within the human computer's operations. The fact of various CNS circuits existing as reward and as "punishment" systems when stimulated by artificial or by natural inputs must be taken into account (Lilly, J. C., 1957, 1958, 1959). The powerful emotional underpinnings of "movement toward" and "movement away" must be included, as well as the acquisition of code symbols for these processes. Such symbols tend to set up the priority hierarchies of basic operational programs in microformat (nonverbal) and in macroformat (verbal). Too often, "accidental" juxtaposition seems to key off improper hierarchical relations at the outset, with resulting priorities set by "first occurrence" spontaneous configurations, un-planned and unprepared. With a new view and a new approach, with planned "spontaneities" graded by order of occurrence, proper program priorities could be set at the beginning of the computer's life history. The maintenance of general purpose properties from the early human years to adulthood is a worthwhile metaprogram. The positive (pleasure producing) and negative (pain or fear producing) aspects of the programs and metaprograms strike at the very roots of motivational energies for the computer. One aspect of Iysergic acid diethylamide is that it can give an overall positive motivational aspect to the individual in the LSD 25 state. This may facilitate program modifications, but it also can facilitate seeking pleasure as a goal of itself. 30. Various special uses of the human computer entail a principle of the competing use of the limited amount of total available apparatus. To hold and to display the accepted view of reality in all its detail and at the same time to program another state of consciousness is difficult; there just isn't enough human brain circuitry to do both jobs in detail perfectly. Therefore special conditions give the best use of the whole computer for exploring, displaying, and fully experiencing new states of consciousness; physical isolation (only with special limited stimulation patterns, if any) (Lilly, 1956) gives the fullest and most complete experiences of the internal explorations. One such extreme condition is profound physical isolation (isothermicity, zerolevel visible quanta, sonic levels below threshold, minimum gravitational resisting unit area forces, minimum internal stimulation intensity, minimum respiration stimulus level, etc.). This condition can give some additional new states of consciousness the "necessary lowlevel evenness of context" in which to develop. These results are facilitated by minimizing the necessities for computing the present demands of the physical reality and its calculable present consequences (physical reality programs). Using this principle of the competitive use of portions of the available brain it is important to understand why, for example, a large amount of hallucinating would not be permissible in our present society. If a person is actively projecting visual images in three dimensions from his stored programs, he may not have enough of his brain functioning in ordinary modes to take care of him with regard to say, gravity, automobiles, and similar hazards. He may become so involved in the projection in the visual field that the inputs from reality itself have to be sacrificed and their quality reduced. It is apparently this danger which teaches us to inhibit hallucinations (i.e., visual projection displays) in the very young children. 31. The principle of the competitive use of available computer structure has a corollary: the larger the computer is, the larger the total number of metaprograms and of programs storable, and the larger the space which can be used for one or more of the currently active programs simultaneously operating. The larger the number of actuable elements in the brain the greater the abilities to simultaneously deal with the current reality program and to reinvoke a past storedreality program. The quality of the details of the reinvoked program and the quality of the operations in the current physical reality are a direct function of the computer's absolute functional size, all other values being equal. There may be brains which are large enough to simultaneously project from storage into the visual field and also to function adequately in the outside environment. At least conceptually this is a possibility. This partition of the pro- grams among various modes of operation of course are included in our definition of the general purpose nature of this particular computer. 32. The "consciousness program" itself is expandable and contractible within the computer's structure within certain limits. In coma, this program is very nearly inoperative; in ordinary states of awareness it needs a fair fraction of the machinery to function. In expanded states of consciousness the fraction of the total computer devoted to its operation expands to a large value. If the consciousness is sensorially expanded maximally, there is little structure left for motoric initiation of complex interaction and vice versa. If motor initiation is expanded, the sensorial creations are reduced in scope. If neither sensorial nor motor activities are expanded, more room is available for cognition and/or feeling, etc. 33. The steady state values of the fractions of the total computer each devoted to a separate program at a given instant add up to the total value of one. The value of a given fraction can fluctuate with time. The places used in the computer also change. 34. In general there are delineable major systems of metaprograms and of programs competing for the available circuitry. The methods of categorizing these competing programs depend on the observer's metapro- grams. One system divides the competitors into visual, acoustic, proprioceptive, emotive, inhibitory, excitory, disinhibitory, motor, reflexive, learned, appetitive, pleasurable, and painful. This system is used in neurophysiology and comparative physiology. 35. Another system of classification divides the competing metaprograms and programs into oral, anal, genital, defensive, sublimated, conscious, unconscious, libidinal, aggressive, repressive, substitutive, resistive, tactical, strategic, successful, unsuccessful, passive, feminine, active, masculine, pleasure, pain, regressive, progressive, fixated, ego, id, superego, ego ideal. This is the system of classification employed by psychoanalysis. 36. Another system divides the competitors into animal, humanistic, moral, ethical, financial, social, altruistic, professional, free, wealthy, poor, progressive, conservative, liberal, religious, powerful, weak, political, medical, legal, economical, national, local, engineering, scientific, mathematical, educational, humanistic, childlike, adolescent, mature, wise, foolish, superficial, deep, profound, thorough, etc. This is a classification which is employed in general by humanitarians and intellectuals. 37. The classifications of metaprograms and/or of programs by the above methods illustrate some useful principles to be included. There is probably a set of better schemes than any of the above ones. Such new systematizations are needed; the principles in this theory may be useful in setting them up at every level of functioning of the computer.

This going to be a very long post, so bear with me. Lots of information here. I'm going to be sharing some information that is completely new to Actualized.org, so please bear with me. Also, I will refrain from putting his name on here out of respect for his privacy as well as my own. I have no clue who's reading this, so far all I know you might know the same guy, and maybe even know me in real life. If anything sounds familiar, try not to expose any personal information please. Nothing will inspire you like meeting a truly enlightened master in the flesh. These kind of people are an enigma. They blend in seamlessly with society, yet they stand out as a beacon of peace, love, humility, innocence, and genius. I was surprised to find someone so developed in such a mundane environment. He wasn't a stereotypical guru, passing sacred teachings down to pupils in a holy temple, nor a hermit eating bugs in a cave. Nobody identified him as an enlightened master, except me. This guy was far beyond even acknowledging his own enlightened state. His only motive was to make fun out of life. You could say that he is an undercover Zen Master. It wasn't just his enlightened, pure nature that was impressive. He was a classic Renaissance Man. He was a master in multiple fields. Writing, Music, Herbology, Engineering, Carpentry, Teaching, and Science are just a few of the skills he mastered that I know of. So this guy was not only Enlightened, but he was essentially a genius. He reminded me of characters like Leonardo Da Vinci, Galileo, Isaac Newton, Pythagoras, etc. He was far more intelligent than the average person, but he was incredibly humble and always encouraged others to commit to life-long learning. He wasn't haughty about his knowledge at all, he constantly made self-deprecating jokes and couldn't stop laughing at himself. I'm sharing this story about this person because this person I met seems to embody the ultimate ideal of Actualized.org. He represents of the end result of Self-Mastery. This isn't just a guy who is Enlightened. This is a guy who has been Enlightened for many years and has crafted a totally authentic life. What's more impressive is that he seemed to have accomplished this on his own initiative, before the internet. He's so advanced, he'd probably see this website as mere child's play. Quite frankly, he is years ahead of where Actualized.org is. This is a guy who is in a constant state of flow. Everything he does is like rollercoaster ride to him. He just never stops having fun. He has a simple, yet perfect life. He's a walking paradox. He's on a completely different level from everyone else, yet totally down to Earth and normal. Most normal, everyday people would see him as an energetic, humorous, eccentric, yet laid back and relaxed guy. Only a spiritual seeker like myself would realize that he holds great wisdom and knowledge. Hope you guys are excited, because I'm going to share everything (pertaining to spirituality and Self-Mastery) that he taught me right here on the forum. In this post, you will learn brand new, hardcore techniques for self-mastery that have never been mentioned on Actualized.org until now. His secret technique involved reprogramming the brain using modern technology in a very systematic and scientific manner. I warn you though, his techniques are extremely hardcore, and I would only recommend them to the most serious of practitioners, because it requires an enormous amount of work and discipline. It's a very unorthodox method, and given Leo's indulgence of unorthodox methods, I think he'll find these techniques especially interesting. Surprisingly enough, this is a method that is so underground and unheard of that I haven't even seen it mentioned here. In fact, I've never even used these techniques yet simply because they're beyond my level of expertise. If you want a clue, his techniques are based on the work of a great scientist and personal friend of his, known as John C. Lilly. So where did I meet this guy? What did he look like? What interactions did I have with him? What "gave it away" that he was enlightened? I met him in school. He is an English Composition teacher at my local community college. He's everybody's favorite teacher. He always made the subject matter fun and engaging. He is the most passionate college professor I've ever met. Listening to his lectures was like listening to a comedy sketch. He constantly cracked jokes, while still explaining the depth of the subject by taking complex topics and explaining them through simplistic metaphors. His class always had a fun and playful atmosphere, where everyone could get comfortable. He engaged each student personally and always made sure everyone was on the same page before moving on. Despite this, his class was the most difficult yet engaging English I've ever participated in. He went out of his way to make his curriculum as valuable and stringent as possible. He never had to take disciplinary action, although he did get frustrated when people used cell phones during his lectures, understandably. He had a very eccentric appearance. He is a large, overweight man in his mid 50s. He sported long, unkempt hair, and he had a beard that was braided into two strands, each decorated with colorful beads. He also had big, bushy eyebrows as thick as cottonballs. He looked a bit like a pirate. He also wore circular framed glasses. He was of Sicilian descent. He had olive colored skin, and piercing, dark blue eyes. He had an incredibly powerful gaze. I often found it difficult to maintain direct eye contact with him. His eyes were deeply inquisitive. When he looks directly at you, he looks as though he's examining a complex machine and trying to understand how it works. It feels as though he is peering directly into the deepest parts of your psyche. His apparell was unfashionable, he only ever wore baggy jeans and t-shirts, it looked as though he only bought clothes from thrift stores. Upon first meeting this man, I immediately found him likeable. We had many things in common. We both loved music and had similar taste, we both value knowledge and learning, we're both vegan, we both had long hair and a beard, we both had an interest in mystical teachings, we both are eccentric, and we both had an interest in psychedelics. He came across as a very mysterious guy. This was the first clue that he was someone who had been on the path. He had the energy of a child. His lectures were emotive and high-energy, pulling in everyone's attention in an almost hypnotic fashion. Again, his lectures were much like a comedy routine. His voice was loud, powerful, and expressive. He could react quickly to every situation. A lot of students, including me, would try to say something clever to him and attempt to outsmart him with trick questions, and he would always instantly come back with a clever retort, using humor to diffuse the question. His verbal acuity is rather impressive. He was authentic, yet incredibly clever at the same time. The thing I loved the most about his teaching style was that he always took a higher perspective on the subject matter. He understood integral thinking, he took multiple perspectives on every subject and was always aware that there's always a different perspective of looking at things. A real "outside the box" thinker. He did well to incorporate an attitude of open-mindedness and nuance in his approach to teaching. I find it impressive that he ran a stage Yellow classroom, the first of which I've ever been a part of. Stage Yellow education is like education on steroids. His class alone was worth the tuition. Now that you're acquainted with what kind of role this person played in my life, I'm going to share everything he said pertaining to spirituality, Self-Knowledge, and mysticism. How did I learn spiritual techniques from him? He did not normally bring these topics up, rather subtly referenced them in ways that only a spiritual seeker would pick up. He hinted at his own knowledge, leaving a bread crumb trail for me to follow. So how did I convince him to reveal his knowledge? In my assignments, I would insert references to non-duality. When he asked questions, I tried to give answers that came from a perspective of non-duality. One day, I brought up the topic in the middle of class. I started talking about self-inquiry and the truth of no self. His response was dismissive, as though I was telling him 2+2=4. "Been there, done that.", he tells me. A few minutes later he handed me a book and tells me that I'd enjoy it. The book was 'Programming and Metaprogramming the Human BioComputer' by John C. Lilly. He explained that this book will tell me everything I need to know about what I was asking him about. He told me about the author, John C. Lilly, explaining that he was a mad scientist who studied the behavior of dolphins and developed a method of communicating with them. He also invented the sensory deprivation tank. My teacher told me that he used the techniques explained in John C. Lilly's book, which is totally cutting edge in the field of psychedelics. It involves using LSD in sensory isolation. This book records the most important research into psychedelics and non-duality that has ever been done to this date. So what this means is that my teacher literally built his own sensory deprivation tank and used John C. Lilly's techniques on himself. He didn't give me the details of the exact process, such as whether someone was helping him, or if he a psychoanalyst working with him. All he told me was that he followed the techniques in John C. Lilly's book. I'm actually shocked that Leo has never mentioned the work of John C. Lilly. This is literally the most cutting edge research into psychedelics and Non-Duality that has ever been done. It's right up Leo's alley, yet he has never heard of it, or atleast never mentioned it. It's a scientific search for the self. I still don't fully understand this book, given the enormous complexity of this field. Every variable which could possibly influence the behavior of the human mind has to be accounted for. How do you isolate a mind so you can analyze only the internal stimuli without the unpredictable variables that arise when exposed to external stimuli? That's the approach in this book. It's about isolating the variables that take place internally in the human mind from the external stimuli of everyday life. It's through this process that you deprogram the basic assumptions of your primal self, the metaprogram that governs all of the mind's behavior. In this way, you can actually remetaprogram the human mind in ways that have never existed in nature before. I might add more to this later on. I'm done writing for now.

Things never got dark for me in my mushroom trip. Actually it felt great. I would sit by the river and lose track of time. Everything around you starts to melt into one, and reality feels like one unified organism. It's an amazing feeling. The only downside is that I would constantly find myself standing in the same place for hours while my mind is on a dreamquest travelling across the cosmos. I don't even remember it, but every time I stood still for more than 30 seconds, I would drift into a long hallucination full of weird happenings.