SaaraSabina

Any progress? I’m having an experience like yours. Been ill now for about 18 months. Nowadays mostly pain, prior to that more diffuse discomfort also depersonalization along with it. Now left with the pain only but it’s bad really bad

Hi! I’ve been dealing with depersonalization since December of last year. I got sick and went trough trauma. Since then I’m not able to be present. It’s like I’m detached from myself. It’s a really painful existence and I’m so tired of this. Anyone else have this experience? How did it stop? Besides this I also experience a lot of physical pain and other symptoms that interfere with my daily life.

I’m working on it with diet changes and kefir, and supplements. Yes seeing a physiotherapist within a few weeks to start.

I got Ill. Had an infection in my lungs and while having it I started to feel this depersonalization, it’s like a wall between me and myself I’m not able to get trough. I feel scared of everything. It’s like my personality is gone there’s nothing. This came to be initially when I got sick, a few days in eating antibiotics not feeling any better I read something in my journals and it was written in such a way that I thought it was a death sentence. So I panicked really, planned what was going to happen with my kid called everyone and was living petrified for a few days. It was huge trauma. After that nothing has been the same. Even my appearance is changed, I’ve aged at least 5 years by now. And ever since I’ve had pain in both my neck, throat, heart rate issues and headaches every single day. Also infections coming and going.

I will look at it. Been doing breathing exercises, wim hof method. I do try to work out, even though not as before. It’s very easy to tell someone that what their doing is an act of ego. Of course it is. I’m not just going to sit and watch my life drain away. I was physically well and strong, I did have my issues many of them but I was full of energy and will. Now I’m like a ghost of my formal self and it’s scary. I might be wrong but I think most would me scared and frustrated.

I would love to do more physical activities but my heart rate is insane and this makes me scared to do so. I’m paralyzed with trauma and the physical pain is so bad at times that I’ve just want to throw myself into a wall to make it end. Don’t know what’s going on, but if I didn’t have this feeling of depersonalization it would be easier at least.

Hi! I know that you guys here don’t know me personally but I really would like to hear your thoughts on why my relationships seem to end in the same way every single time. It’s non romantic relationships, even though some of them have been between me and men but on a friendship basis others are female friends. Anyway, the relationships seem to be going good. We both seem to know where we have the other person. Suddenly there’s tension, mostly after a while maybe 6 months in. I’ve got to see more of them and they of me. When the relationship ends which it seem to be doing every single time it’s always in matter. I get a long text sent to me where they describe my flaws, they make it out to be that I’m a both this and that type (bad) of person etc and many times their really rude. I don’t respond back in that sort of matter, I’ll read it trough and reflect on what’s being said and reply when I’m not in affect and able to see both sides at least in some ways. Anyways, either I’m a really bad human or I seem to be drawn to or draw people who are very needy and unstable to me or yes a combination of course. So what is it in me that makes this happen? What is it that triggers this? Why does this keep on occurring? Please try to help me, if I’m able to I’ll try to answer all your questions without giving away too much detail (if someone recognizes themselves when reading here).

Sadly these people were almost everyone I had. But yes, knowing myself better is the way to go and Martin I’ve been watching a whole lot of her content and most definitely I’m a dismissive avoidant. Knowing this do make it easier for me and it’s quite interesting. But now I also must learn how to balance it, I can’t just accept whatever behavior thrown against me even though I surely keep people at distance. As I’ve experienced it, I often come across people who needs me to be their everything or nothing. And that has to do with me of course. Listening to her YT made me realize that these people probably have the anxious preoccupied attachment style which is not a good match at all. Anyway, I’ll keep digging in it and work on it.

Thanks for all the responses, especially about the dismissive avoidant.

Sorry unable to quote and type reply’s new phone and I’m not a technical person at all ? Yes these experiences has made me think that it’s all my fault even though I can see the unrealistic expectations people put on me. So it’s like be alone or do what others want you to to. And yes, mostly I do relate and connect with “damaged” people the other once don’t seem to want or need other people in their life’s. Their pleased as it is.

Not just with men it’s with woman as well. But with this lady, I’ve said no before. She even thought that I should babysit her child and take the day of from work to do so. I’ve just started a new job. And yes, this has to do with me obviously otherwise I wouldn’t find myself in these types of relationships. As Leo said. So how the hell am I going to start to build other types of relationships. Start from within, my self esteem and feeling unworthy. So where do I start to break the pattern.

This has happened with 3 different people, even though in very complicated situations. It’s not your “normal” type of person who I’ve engaged in. Everyone has something, but just like myself these people have had very traumatic childhoods and like myself often are pretty lonely. In one scenario I got to hear that I was taking advantage of one of them, that I knew all along that he was in love with me and he told me how bad of a person I was. I was a ego, I was a liar and I would never change. In one other scenario I told one of them that I couldn’t help, she was upset and called me late at night and wanted me to come over to her place over the night. I told her I couldn’t since it was too late and I’ve already planned the rest of the evening and was tired. When I said that she started to scream “no” that’s not true, and kept on going about how I’m not there for her, that no one ever is when she really needs it. After that I got a text telling me that she’s not going to be in any relationship with me any more and to have a good life. It’s like my own needs and emotions aren’t valid in this case. We both have the same situation being single moms on full time. I can’t just drop everything and go by train (1 hour) with my kid in the night to comfort her... sorry but no. But I spent 3 hours on the phone with her talking about her problems etc days before. Every time we planned something I’ve showed up never broke any promises etc and after me telling her no she tells me that I’m not a trustworthy person. We have been hanging together for a year or so some months seeing each other maybe once or twice a week others maybe just once a month but having contact by text or phone. With the dude in the first scenario we saw each other regularly. He was with us at least a few days a week. He was very lonely and I wanted to make him feel like he was a part of something since he didn’t have any family of his own and a very few friends. It didn’t think that he needed to be alone all the time when both we and he could need company. We also knew each other back in our teens. But it ended up like shit anyway. I didn’t know he was in love with me, nothing pointed to that especially since he was so odd and different and even said he was asexual at times...

Yes so the oppression and being stepped on happens to everyone in one way or another, that’s not a certain thing for females only and to make it even more simple- since we’re into dividing and categorising. What’s the smallest division possible? If you have a well developed moral compass you don’t feel the need to be or to do anything “bad” towards anyone. If a man is saying or doing something against a woman that doesn’t make it a male/female problem that makes it an individual with a bad behaviour problem.

Have you ever heard of divide and conquer? Cui Bono?

I would not be able to be with a man that I wasn’t attracted to and I’ve never succeeded (I tried it many many years ago) to force myself or to “learn” to find someone attractive that I wasn’t drawn to in the first place and I gave it up pretty quickly. Brutal honesty is the key.

I think it’s yet another polarisation trick, as is so called “race” etc. It does not bring men and women closer. It was a easy way to get the women out of the house, another sex to tax and get the children right in their indoctrination camps as early as possible so that they could grow up to be good monetary slaves.

Only females in this story. If this means what I think it does after using google I believe so too. Yes I’m thinking that she’s giving herself away by saying things like this. If someone feels the need to tell me that their not trying to manipulate me, or how much they respect me etc that’s a red flag and I’m planning on existing the “friendship”.

Hi. How would you interpret it when someone says “I’m not trying to manipulate you” when you haven’t said anything that would makes it seem as if you believed they were.

Also I’m actually bored, didn’t think I was capable of it but I am and have been for a while.

Do we need close relationships? Do you have close relationships and with whom?

Thanks for the responses. I know that someone or something won’t make me for fulfilled - really. But I do feel that it would be nice to have someone closer just for the exchange. I’ve been by myself for years... and this pops up once and a while.

The deep state is the wire - the telecom infrastructure, payment infrastructure and internet infrastructure - investor/Ericsson - the wallenbergs Sweden. That’s the root of it all and there are layers upon layers of people involved all around the world.

Is it even possible for men and women to be only friends in the long run? Or is there always that one who is wanting something more or has other intentions? Your thoughts?

So when your enlightened are you free from your persona?

Hi there! Being a single mom ( I have a 3 year old) and having huge emotional attacks by mind and emotion very so intensely about 1,5-2 weeks each month makes me wonder if I’ve gotten way over my head trying to be present and not identifying with the false self. How to live like this with these things appearing and being there all the time. I feel like this is a huge distraction to just being. Any ideas? Would love to hear from other parents here and also other females who recognise them self with the pmdd. Thanks