DanoDMano

@Yang Noctus Love the post. I don't like the wording of grind either. To me having to grind at something means "going against the grain". Through my life, if I felt my actions were grinding (to a halt?) then this meant my intuition was telling me something. That perhaps this activity is something I'm not meant to do or strive for. All of the success I've had in life, seemed to have no grinding elements at all, and in fact everything seemed to flow almost effortlessly and with purpose. Not to mention the continued joy and satisfaction I felt through the process and it's fruition as well. Maybe others have to go through this grinding process to ultimately succeed at something they love and truly want to do, I just didn't experience this and whenever I did, always found something else to strive for and succeed at. But... that's just me and perhaps not true to for everyone.

@quantum My thinking on this subject is a simple one. We as a life force produce positive and negative energies. It is our mission in life, above all else, to be and become this positive energy. In fact it is our duty to spread and emanate this force to all other life forms within our reach (and beyond?). The stronger this energy (both positive and negative) the more it can effect others around us (and overwhelm us). Our entire existence and wellbeing depends on it. Thus the reason we see / feel so much negativity in our world today. This is why we all strive for our life purpose, once found so does are positive energy. Perhaps we have this backward however, for maybe by keeping positive our purpose can then find us.

@T1r1on Very impressive brother. I like the cut of your jib. I can tell you like to write as much as I do, and you have real talent in this area. You are becoming aware of your authentic self, as well as being able to "read" those around you. Your setting goals for yourself (remember some you will succeed at others you will fail at). One part of your journal entry stated that you don't get very excited with your accomplishments, so remember then, not to get disappointed with your failures as well, for that's how you'll find true contentment in your life. It's all about experiences, not success and failure. Nice job, keep moving forward at little at a time. This thing we call life is a marathon not a sprint. Later.

@T1r1on Don't you mean mixed cd's? And as far as albums, I don't think they'll ever completely go by the wayside. Their still making turntables and probably always will.

Here's a freaky but absolutely true story. Please feel free to comment if you wish. During my three years of traveling I rarely (twice by letter) contacted any family about my whereabouts, how I was doing, or if I was even safe and alive. This either had to do with my independents, my pride or just plain selfishness. I always thought to myself that I'd get in contact once I thought of myself as a success, which I guess never came to fruition and never really occurred to me that anyone might be worrying about me. I'd been away for about two years when one day I was sitting alone in my van. This is the freaky part. Out of the blue and as clear as day my father spoke to me in my head. He said. "Dan, I'm sorry son, but I'm gone. Please prepare yourself for when you call home and stop feeling so guilty for the things you've done in your life. Everyone makes mistakes. Goodbye son." That's it. Nothing more. I instantly began sobbing like I'd never done in my entire life. To me this was absolutely real and I had no doubt in my mind that my father had just died. I let time pass and waited (exactly one year to the day) and around this time my first daughter (I have three now) was born. I knew it was time for me to call home. My little brother answered the phone. We talked, laughed and cried (but avoided the subject of my father all together). Then my brother finally says. "Dan I got some bad news about dad." It was no shock to me at all. I stopped him and said. "I know, he's gone eh?" He was silent for a moment then said. "Yeah he died exactly one year ago today. How did you know that?" I then proceeded to tell him the story I just shared with you. Now I know there are going to be believers and doubters about this story. But in my own mind it happened and strengthened my belief in the fact that there is more to life (and death) than meets the eye. I'm still not sure what that is, but I have no doubt that there is something and that there is nothing to worry about when it is our time. For how could that have happened to me if there was not a beyond? Perhaps a story like this might even strengthen your belief as well. My hope is that it does.

@sagaranupr Greetings. I read your first post, and then this one. After reading your first one my first thought was that you needed to clear your mind. That first step is to quit smoking the ganga. I smoked everyday for over a decade. When I decided to quit it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I literally couldn't get a restful sleep for two weeks. I also had to avoid any friends that smoked and any places that could provide me with it. It wasn't just quitting the act, it was quitting the lifestyle altogether. Every time I had any money in my pocket I had to fight with myself not to give up and get a bag. This isn't easy by any means, trust me I know. But this just makes it even more rewarding when you win the battle. Once your mind becomes clear, your actions become more focused and driven. I'm sure if you put just half the effort on your personal growth as you've put into chasing the high, you'll find that things will change for the better. You'll discover what your true passions in life really are. As far as your career goals are concerned, remember that we will experiment throughout our lives searching for those things that give us fulfillment. Some experiments will fail miserably, but we've learned something from them just the same. We'll never find our true purpose without trying (and failing) so you can't beat yourself up for pursuing something and coming to a realization it's not working. You must keep trying and searching. The trick is to know when you've taken a path that's not right for you, then seeing that fork in the road (opportunity) and completely abandoning the current one and starting anew. Here's the thing. The current path is straight and you can see quite clearly where it leads. Your intuition knows the outcome. Your ego says just keep going anyway. When you see a fork in the road it bends and curves and it's unclear to you where it may lead. You feel scared and uneasy because of this so your ego instantly tells you not to go that way, just stay straight. Your intuition however may have a different idea and tell you to take a chance. Which voice are you going to listen to? Will you take the easy, straight path, because it's familiar and safe, or that unknown mysterious path which in the end may lead to happiness and your own contentment? You'll never know unless you stop listening to your ego and paying more attention to what your intuition is trying to say.

@Lory Personally I haven't watched television for about five years now. It happened by accident really, when it stopped working and I refused to spend money on another one. I've lived most of my life as a minimalist, and have never bought into idea of indebtedness and having to work to live. In fact I can live comfortably on $1,000 per month. Most of my time is spent doing the things I want to do, instead of the things I have to do to survive. Sorry I got off track there. What have I discovered without television? I'm now completely unaware of the negative stuff going on in the world. Except for people having to inform me of it, or when it's posted on FB, MSN, YouTube etc.. Which I can easily scroll past without a second glance. I refuse to let it be a part of my reality. If I had a television I suppose I could just turn the channels to the things I'm interested in, but to me 80% of the stuff is crap. I think of the reality tv genre for instance. Who's reality are they talking about? It's certainly not mine. It's all fake and produced to numb the mind in a form they call entertainment. No thanks, I can do that myself in the form of music, art, writing, reading, informative videos and forums like this one. I think to myself all the time. What if we were all completely oblivious to the plight of this world (without television, radio, web etc.) and lived simply within our own communities? When something went wrong within that community, it could be easily fixed by the community by simply getting together and coming up with a solution to the problem. Today we feel our community is a planetary one and not a local one. In our minds it's just to expansive to fix anything now. All of our realities include the whole world, when in my opinion our reality should include nothing more than our family, our friends and our neighbors. This way we wouldn't feel so hopeless. We wouldn't have to change the world, only ourselves.

@Catanio @Catanio I was hoping someone would ask that. The answer is ..... The fifth guy was much like ourselves in this forum (in search of awareness, truth, enlightenment). It was clear that these five men would not be a positive attribute in his journey and growth. He simply walked away from the group altogether, with the knowledge that none of these men would care or understand anything he had to say anyway. Thanks for asking.

For about fifteen years now I've asked this question, especially to those that feel they have the right to "screw around" on their partner. You always hear the excuses. Oh... they've gained weight and let themselves "go". Oh... they work too much or they're too lazy. Oh... they don't like sex and they're not intimate enough. They drink too much. I feel neglected most of the time. On and on. I always picture the old adage that the grass is always greener on the other side. There's no contentment anymore with our intimate relationships. So then my question is. Why must our relationships with the opposite sex be so intimate then? Because at least 50% of the time they just end in disaster anyway. After my breakup of thirteen years (and three daughters) in 2000 I started thinking in these terms. For three years I didn't date at all. To be honest my heart was broken. After some healing and self-reflection, I decided to get back on the horse. But I went at dating in a completely untraditional way. From date one, I'd tell any woman the honest truth. That I'd never be exclusive and that I'd never expect them to be either. They were given the opportunity to pursue any additional relationships that they felt would make them happy. If they found the "love of there life" while dating me they were free to walk away completely or simply tell me the truth and we could still be the best of friends if that is what they desired. The majority of the woman I dated accepted this without hesitation and they'd also include passionate, uninhibited sex without any obligation from either of us. Now don't get me wrong, I was never much into dating or having casual sex since my breakup (five total), but any woman that I've considered dating over the years was told this up front and most led to strong intimate friendships. FWB I guess is the term they use nowadays. Now I was 35 when I started dating again and my women friends were between 30 and 45. So I suppose this has a strong barring on this idea being accepted because their maturity was a very important part of why these agreements were made in the first. So now I'm wondering. We know that ego is the cause of our emotions both negative and positive. This includes the seven "sins". Three of which are pride, lust, and envy (jealousy). These three emotions can be directly related to intimate relationships. So... If we're searching for enlightenment and taking complete control of our egos, why then would we care if our intimate relationships included happiness and joy with other people. If enlightenment is the understanding that we are all one and one is all, then why are we so afraid of others finding this happiness with someone else other than ourselves. Why must we be exclusively supplying this happiness and not allowing others to fulfill it as well? Do you see my point? I think that the younger you are, the harder this is to understand. I also think women would also find it harder to digest. Then there's the whole factor of sex. Sex is just that. Physical contact with emotional strings attached. I'm sure when you find enlightenment sex becomes nothing more than an act of procreation. I'm sure it doesn't mean we stop the emotion of love. Love just means something entirely different than we know now.

@luigi1994 I think you absolutely right brother. And I do understand. Your writing down and asking the questions that, in reality your asking yourself. I don't have these answers for you, but you already know them anyway. Keep asking and the answers will begin to reveal themselves. Just don't stop asking. That's what I think. Later Brother. P.S. and those relationships you had with the kids and the people of those countries? You have been given a rare gift, because now you know the difference between the real and authentic relationships and the egotistical, fake and superficial ones. Consider yourself a lucky man.

@joegarlandPersonally I think once you come to the realization that we as humans, are all equals, no matter our social standing or age, (financial, possessions, career, attractiveness etc.) you will begin to feel more comfortable in your own skin. Secondly, remember that you will not be accepted by everyone you meet, and that it is perfectly ok. If someone doesn't like you for your authentic self, there is nothing you can do about it. And if someone wants you to change something they don't like about you, then it's really their problem not yours. There are things you may want to change about yourself but that has to be your decision and no one else's. I know this is easier said than done. It took me a while to get to this conclusion myself. But once I stopped trying to be liked and trying to impress everyone I crossed paths with (because it doesn't happen no matter how hard you may try.) my conversations, facial expressions, and body language began to relax and become more natural and easy. This came across to others, and it became easy to make friendships that I thought would help my growth, but also avoid those relationships that I felt stunted my growth. Your still a young man. Every time this voice arises in your head, convince it that you're doing the best you can at the stage your at, and to stop expecting more than your capable of at this point in your life. Hopefully the shouts will turn to whispers and eventually silence, content in the fact that you are being your authentic self and nothing more. Continue on your journey and learn from every step along the way.

(1) I'm thinking of.... (my belief on the subject) - "Sorry that's wrong" (2) Ok then... "I'm not thinking at all and my mind is blank." (3) "There you go, you got it." (4) "Got what?" (5) Oops... "Sorry you lost it." (6) "Lost what?" (7) "Number two."

I'm a bit surprised you even know what a Walkman is. Talk about wrong place wrong time eh? Dude that's so old school, VHS is yesterday. Convert those babies to CDR before it's too late. Those recordings will be obsolete in another 10 years (like the 8-track and Beta). And the Walkman lol.

@Jofishy66 This is just my opinion but I think the main thing we need to realize here is that we are just normal human beings. We are not professionals who can give advice or our observations for things like mental illness. These are serious matters that should not be taken lightly. Our opinions are just that and should not be considered when looking for advice. I know he realizes this and rightly so, does not want anyone is this forum to take any responsibility for this. Ultimately it's not fair to us or the person posting the message to ask or answer. That is for professionals of the field to answer.

Good question. But as a male I then ask myself. What is an alpha male? Is he considered Alpha based on confidence? Or is it more because of his conquests? Is it based on his brut strength and physique or his intellect? Does the alpha male want a strong, independent woman of his equal, or a weak passive one who must obey? I'm a male and don't even know if I can consider myself an Alpha. I consider myself confident and leader type, but yet I can easily be punched in the face and fall to the ground by an irrational bully. So I don't know the answer. I guess it depends on who's asking the question and what their own definition of an Alpha male is. I like women who are independent, intelligent, funny, uninhibited and passionate. Where as an insecure Alpha male may want the opposite. So what's the answer? 42.

So I went home that day and told my business partner the agency was all his. I was moving to Toronto and working for Steve Thompson Productions. He had some of the biggest bands in the country. Kim Mitchel, Helix, Honeymoon Suite, Lita Ford, Ronny Hawkins, and even produced the annual Elvis festival (which was my first gig by the way). I was there two years before I finally got totally disenfranchised with the whole industry itself. (Lies, deceit, back stabbing / scratching.) It was a use and be used mentality. I was a small town boy in a big city cesspool of vermin. It really is dog eat dog and I was a pug up against the bulldogs. This life just wasn't in my nature and I came to the realization that I had no chance of succeeding. The money was ok, but it wasn't enough to match with the lifestyle. When I walked away I had little to no money in my bank account. Back in my day there was this new thing they called VHS tapes. Small, medium and large independent mom and pop video rental stores were opening in every town and major city in the country (there was no such thing as franchises like Blockbusters back then). I had a friend that owned one of these stores. He had a rather small store compared to his neighborhood competition and he was afraid he'd be going under soon. I'd learned a lot about advertising and promotion from the music industry and came up with an idea. The trick is volume. It was all about numbers. The more customers that walk into the store the more money you make, regardless of price. I designed a simple coupon book that offered free and discounted movie rentals. It worked out that for $20 you received $100 worth of movies. I made a deal that I'd get $10, he'd get $10 and just honor the coupons as they were presented. He accepted. I began knocking on doors and simply asked "Hi, do you rent movies"? (80% of households did back then.) At first I was selling about 10 a day. Then 15, then 20 a day. Soon the store owner had a continuous flow of customers renting everyday of the week. It wasn't long before I was presenting the idea to other video stores (with a proven reference of it's success) and signed up more stores. Soon I had traded in my 68 Camero for an eleven seat van and hired other salespeople to sell the coupon books as well. I was clearing on average $300 cash a day. This was around 1986 and a lot of money in those days. I ended up spending the next three years traveling the country, going town to town, city to city with my coupon book sales team. I lived in hotel rooms. I ate at restaurants for every meal. I hit the bars and clubs every single night (with numerous one night stands included). I could sleep in until 2pm every day. I could spend every dollar I had in my pocket and know by the same time tomorrow I'd have more. This was truly a worry free life and there's not a single thing negative I can write here about that experience except one. Other than that I absolutely I loved it all.

@Ida Hi Ida. Love the post and thanks for sharing. Here's what you need to ask yourself. Is this relationship at a dead end? Is this relationship helping my personal growth or stalling it. If we stay together where do I hope to be in one year, three years, five years? Are you simply procrastinating the inevitable outcome? Perhaps your not ready for the real answers. But that's ok as long as you've acknowledged it. Maybe there are things you need to get in order before you move forward in your life. That's ok too as long as you take action in doing so, then when your ready (self-confident) to do make the move. Just don't settle for anything that doesn't bring you happiness and contentment. You have a journey to fulfill. You just have to ask yourself if you want him along for the ride. Good luck.

Be a nice guy and you'll meet nice caring women. Don't be the nice guy and you'll meet.... well women. You decide what type you want and go from there. If your kind, honest and sincere you won't like the latter very much. You might want to change who you are for this, but why in the world would you want to do that? Just get your dick wet? It's meaningless and shallow in my opinion.

@Lifes2short Great question Daniel. Here's my outtake of it. Have you ever heard of the saying. "Go with the flow"? My wording of this is "The natural order" of all things. Including ourselves. Yes expectation is the root of all heartache. Learn not to expect anything of our actions. Whatever will be will be. For instance, we're hungry, naturally we want to eat from time to time. Our expectation is that we'll find food in the fridge (if we've bought some). We open the door and voila there it is. Expectation fulfilled. Now your looking for a job. In fact, your desperate for one. You have no money, your in debt, your girlfriends ready to leave you. You send dozens and dozens of resumes' out there expecting to find a job. Unfortunately your expectations go unfulfilled. You lose your girlfriend and you go further into debt because of it. Your heartbroken and in despair. One day your waiting in line at a coffee shop (you'd be at work had you met your earlier expectations) and strike up a conversation with the guy behind you that gives you his business card because he likes your style. He hires you the next day for a job you end up loving. You also meet the girl of your dreams in the break room one month later. She becomes your wife. Had you met your expectations when you sent all those resumes you wouldn't have the life you have today. Moral of the story: Stop expecting things to happen your way. Let what happens, happen and roll with the punches because it's the "natural order". Try and stay positive through it all and positive things will happen. Start getting negative about it and, guess what, it turns negative. It's only natural.

@Jesper I have to disagree with you. We each follow our own path in life. I've learned through experience that there is an natural order of your life. Our growth and wellbeing depends on this. You say that nobody is going to just knock on your door someday. How do you know that? You might order a pizza and the one delivering that pizza was meant for you all along. They might be your co-worker, a friend of a friend, behind you in line at a coffee shop. With a simple hello it could change your life with no effort at all. This is fate. Second, it's not that your attracting negative people. These people are every where. The trick is to know they are negative before you even allow them into your life. We just need the awareness to not allow them in. We need to find the strength and confidence to say no, get away from me, and avoid them no matter how hard they may try to become a part of your reality. When you find (feel) those positive people, you want them in your life. Positive energy is felt when you come into contact with them. It is the law of attraction. It is our intuition. When we start surrounding ourselves with this energy those negative people lose their power. I'm at a point in my life that I can read these negative energies the moment I met them. They will try everything to be a part of my life, as if I can help them somehow. As if they need something from me. Or as if I have something they want. This isn't arrogance, it's simply awareness. Today I have nothing but positive people in my circle. I don't worry about the negative ones in the least. They will always be there, I just don't let them in. This is my experience and this is what I share here. I'm not just blowing hot air dude. We each have the right to our own opinions. I respectfully disagree with yours.

@Ryan_047 Exactly I completely agree with quote. You need to look deeper within yourself for answers, not simply the emotions themselves.

@Ramu LOL funny, You made me spew my coffee at mid gulp. Thanks a lot.

@maryam Are you? Because if you were, then you wouldn't be asking where he is, you'd just be patient and waiting. Just an observation.

To be or not to be? That is the question. William Shakespeare Hamlet.

Hey did I say you could use my image without permission?