christianblake

@Jedd I have. It was a life changing product for me. I discovered I want to be a counselor / therapist of some sort, helping people overcome problems and issues in their life, and actualizing their true self. I’ve started college for my degree in counseing because of it. 7-8 year commitment because of the course, haha (bachelors + masters). My addictive behavior is my biggest obstacle rn, and being invested in my career path has given me more motivation understand the nature of addictions within me so I can help others. So yes, having identified my life purpose has allowed me to push through a lot of my addictive behavior. But I still find my addictions to be such a pervasive problem, even with having a life purpose. So I am dedicating all my effort now to overcoming this.

I'm on the same boat as you @Jedd. I'm really trying to elevate my life to the next level, but the laziness and the addictions (porn, youtube, social media) are consuming me. Today I had an amazing first half. Woke up conscious, motivated, and pushed through resistance easily. But things started to change halfway through the day after getting a bunch of tasks done. I started to feel really negative. It happened very subtly but luckily I was aware enough to see what was going on. There wasn't really any mental chatter but it was my usual anxiety, fear of being, alone and abandoned by my girlfriend and friends that started to set in. This "anxiety" is something I've been battling for the few years. But this is what started the landslide of 2 hours of youtube and then 2 hours of porn that I just went through. As I watched more videos, and "zoned out" it just got harder and harder to regain consciousness. Maybe this can shed some light on your issue? It doesn't seem like I just naturally crave youtube or porn as an addiction, but maybe it's a way to escape, as @Vaishnavi was pointing to? I'm still working on this, and my plan is to continue to stay conscious and journal what happens even if I have a shitty day.

I don't agree with SFRL. That is trying to fight fire with fire. You obviously have a connection with this girl, that you value. I'm assuming you're writing this because you feel a certain way, that's uncomfortable. Fear, anxiety, and worry about losing this person you care about. I will tell you that the reality is, that it is possible you can lose this girl. In reality, you will lose all your relationships sooner or later. (exisential topic, that I won't go to). But what you must do as an individual, is two things. #1. learn to cope with these feelings. A lot of these feelings stem from cognitive thougts and projections which are rooted in your psyche from your past (point #2). Become aware of your thoughts and what you are projecting she is doing. Are you unconsciously thinking that she's cheating on you, she's going to leave you? she's doesn't want you anymore? How realistic are these? Develop more realistic thought patterns. The second part of coping is dealing with emotions. Become aware of your emotions. What is this "feeling" you are experiencing right now as you worry about her. Realize that these are emotions, they come and go. #2 Go deep into yourself. Why is that you haven't had any deep connections before? What would happen if she left you? Is life over if this happens? This can be extremely complex and hard to do from the inside out. Talk with a therapist or counselor. It'll be worth more than 1 million dollars. As a bonus, learn to have self love. Accept that you have faults within yourself Be self-compassionate.. It'll make the process so much easier. I know this because this is something I struggle with too. About 7 months after being in a relationship with my first girlfriend, I swear I was going through panic attacks. I felt anxiety, and emotions that I haven't felt in years. I've learned to re-structure my thoughts, let my emotions pass through, and dig into my psyche to uncover these unexplored beliefs and emotions. Welcome to your journey, you'll learn so much about yourself if you continue to work on this issue. Go deep, don't look for external solutions (banging other girls), it'll just delay your healing you deserve.

I've been finished with Leo's Life Purpose cover for over a few months now and I'm really getting into deep research and starting to take tangible action. I'm kind of stuck though. I'm fairly solid that this is the type of field or "science" I want to dedicate my life in. I just love learning about how the human psyche works and how to optimize performance and fulfillment in one's life. It's such an amazing field that I'm fortunate to be apart of. I'm fortunate to be born in the generation where we can learn content like this easily. And I want to be apart of this industry, I want to be a leading figure in this industry and change people's lives. I'm in a rut with the direction I'm going. For those who have finished the course I'm trying to make my "small bets" to see which type of niche or more specific field I want to get into it. I personally like understanding the big picture of personal development -- knowing everything and being a sort of all-in-one in coach -- but i'm open to the possibility of being passionate about a more specific area. LIke maybe more psycho-therapeutic work? Or maybe more towards helping people find their passions and career? I really don't know though. What are some 1-2 month projects that I can undertake to see which more specific field do I want to invest more time in? Leo recommends doing more "creative" projects like trying to create a rough draft of what you want and see if I enjoy it. How would I do that with personal development? I was thinking maybe writing articles on here on different concepts for a week straight for 2 months. Or taking life coaching for 2 months? Maybe going to a seminar. Or should I just be doing more studying, reseraching before I can even consider a sort of creative type of project? I've only been heavy in personal development for less than a year now, but i've spent everyday so far studying it. Any advice for getting traction with anybody on the same path as me?

Agree with @Henri and @charlie2dogs. There are many different approaches to tackling addictions, resistance, or anything you don't consciously want. You can either try to manipulate your mind by visualizing the opposite --- let's say in a food addiction, when you feel the craving to eat that tub of ice cream in the fridge, one method to use can be to visualize the long term effects of eating ice cream. Seeing yourself fat in the future. Or you can do the opposite and try to positively motivate yourself by visualizing you being or staying lean in the future. Or maybe you can go and throw the ice cream in the garbage, theres lot's of ways to try to manipulate your psyche or your "lower" self into trying to not eat the ice cream. And these all take willpwoer or mental effort. But what Leo was referring to in his video on addictions he just recently posted was about getting to the deepest fix for addictions. Really feeling into it. Just observing it as it is until the feeling subsides. I find that it's a more effective technique than the other techniues I mentioned in the first paragraph. It really depends on your level of development. For someone new to personal development and wiith little awareness trying to obersve your emotions might not be the most effective thing. So you have these "superficial" techniques for preventing the consequence that you don't want want. But it's really up to you to gauge where you're at. I find that trying to do the superficial techniques become tiring after a while. They start to have diminishing returns in terms of it's effectiveness. I personally think you'll know when the right time is to switch to taking a mindful approach rather than a hard approach. It's good to have a lot of techniques in your arsenal though =)

Anyone else experience loss of willpower throughout the day while doing "do nothing" meditation? Did "do nothing" meditation for about 2 months now. Started meditating late 2014 , and for over a year I did "breathing" meditation. Where I focused on my breath and when I noticed my thoughts would stray away I refocus attention back on breath. Tried "do nothing" and initially it was very confusing. After I while I learned to settle down and honestly I'm still not sure if I did the meditation right. I refered back to Leo's and Shinzen young videos but I what I noticed when reflecting back on that time period was that I had a drastic drop in willpower. I wouldn't be able to overcome urges such as random internet searching, porn, daydreaming, foods, -- anything that requires willpower. I recently went back to the type of mindfulness meditation, similar to the breathing meditation but incorporating more senses. Shinzen young calls it "noting". My willpower has gone up just only a few days back into it. So I just want to get some of your guys input on how "do nothing" has been affecting you. For me the biggest benefit was becoming more aware of no self and the concept that free will doesn't exist. Truly letting go made me realize how much we aren't in control of our thoughts. So I found it more useful for becoming enlightened than any other practical uses. But didn't realize expeirence any calm or other effects throughout the day. I think maybe doing both would be best. I might try the "do nothing" again down the road.

That's a good point. I understand what you're asking. I guess "doing nothing" is exactly what the ego doesn't want therefore it can reduce willpower. So I guess improving willpower is also strengthening the ego. In a healthy way.

So you're concerned about your how mental and physical energy while practicing your skills? A good baseline is just it have a consistent and progression oriented exercise routine, consistent nutrition, and consistent sleep which means the amount and the time you sleep should be the same everyday, If you follow through on all 3 of these your mental and physical energy will be fine. As for how it applies when practicing skills? Just be cautious of your mental energy or physical energy depending what your skill is while doing so. Any time your learning a new skill its going to take willpower. Mental or physical energy or both. It's a muscle you have to build. You may have to take frequent breaks when starting your new skill but overtime the muscle will build up. This is purely on the scale of using your will. On the other hand, Be smart as well and and strategically create time blocks for working on your skill. 2 hours of skill training and maybe 20 minutes of relaxing, youtube videos, music, whatever you want. Other strategies are subconscious programming (this takes the load of using your willpower everytime and pretty much essential to maintain a long term habit without falling off). Theres a lot of techniques. Research into productivity tips.

@rush Not sure, just have a lot of questions. Could just be me personally.

I get what you're saying. He talks about it in some of his enlightenment FAQ questions. Enlightenment is the ultimate goal and the key to your salvation and true freedom. At least from what I studied. But that doesn't mean you can't fix any of your emotional problems in the meantime. There are lots of ways to fix any negative emotion, which I'm assuming your reaching out for help for. I wish I could give you a definite answer but it varies on the severity and type of problem your encountering. If it's a very surface level problem. Such as a negative thinking habit, a not so deep limiting belief, laziness, etcc. then you can find a lot of simple fixes on Leo's channel. If it's a very deep emotional problem your seeking help for then you have to go deeper. The deeper the problem the deeper you have to dig. For things like depression, apathy, anxiety, fear, anything that's constant through your life. Not necessarily a one time thing, then it's time to start digging deeper. Read psyhcological books. Books that cover the concept of shadow work, childhood wounds, self-esteem. But you can also take a direction to just "bypassing" this obstacle. Like developing a deep life purpose, giving meaning to your life. Sometimes just taking such a positive direction in your life can completely or drastically reduce the effects of any crippling emotions. Do both in my opinion. Wish I could you a more tailored plan but I don't know your issue, nor am I extremely knowledgeable in this issue. Just want to reach out to you because I faced the dilemma before.

Definitely recommend. Also check out his other books. I find that 6 pillars was, and still is, very hard to internalize and understand. Read his book "The Psychology of Self-Esteem" first.

Someone said it earlier on the thread. Your confusing what you mean self help. I wouldn't say Tai Lopez preaches "self-help" he is more success oriented. And wonderful to say the least at that. If you want money, social status, some dating skills, and cool hobbies then he's your man. Essentially if you want an awesome external life. (which I do) then he's good for learning about that. As for deep internal psychological growth? wouldn't say so. I like to keep a dichotomy or separation when categorizing a lot of the informational content online. What is this person trying to preach? Does he live the life I want. There's essentially success oriented "self-help" channels and more "internal growth" channels. A lot of channels lean either way. Actualized.org leaning more towards internal change and growth. I prefer psychological growth, deeper understandings rather than an exciting successful life. But hey...why not both?

Can you clarify? Well-being as in what? emotional stability?

Would ask this in the spirituality, enlightenment forum. Eckart Tolle does an excellent job explaining the concept of time. Think in the 'Power of Now' or 'A New Earth'

Hey guys, buying a Juicer soon. What are some good Juicing Recipes that you guys use? List the ingredients please and the quantity. thanks

@Hunter Arrington Nada, not here in Vegas

@David in this priority. 1.) Digestive Health, 2.) Immune System, 3.) Mental Performance

Maybe its the content that you are reading. Do you actually find the content interesting? Or possibly you haven't really got on track and bought in to what the book can do for you. 2 things you can do. Before a reading session, have a deliberate intention to what you want out of the book. Why are you reading this book? What change are you hoping this book will give you? Have an intention that you will be a better person with this new information you are about take in. This will engage your mind. Program your subconscious mind habitually to be more motivated to continue to read the book. Visualize yourself, in whatever image, with this new information. See yourself a few months, a year, a few years, 20 years from now with reading over hundreds of books. The type of person you would be. The type of information and concepts you would have internalized by then. Visualize how that would translate in to external results. More happiness because you read positive psychology, more money because of those finances book you read, relationships, health, etc... buy in to the vision. We're not reading (or at least I'm not) to appear like i'm smart or self-actualizing. We're reading because we want results, positive change, lasting change. You get my point. You don't have to necessarily do just a reading visualization everyday but some type of visualization that incorporates knowledge, will eventually seep into you reading levels. I can read now on 2 hours of sleep because I can see the type of change in my life these books I'm reading can do for me if I truly internalize it. For example I like to visualize myself 10 years from now with just a deep, satisfying understanding of life. Both internally and externally. I know everything I need to know about myself and reality. I know why I feel a certain way with my emotions, I know how to interact in my relationships, my money is on point, health is amazing. I see my self have gone through the process of spending hundreds of hours learning and internalizing new information via books, journaling, contemplating, videos, audios, seminars, etc.. I've bought into this vision so much that learning comes easy to me. Reading a book is easy. Obviously theres a threshold to how long I can read for, but there are times where I can read an entire book a day.

Forgot to mention, I struggle from this a lot. As I become more aware of myself I'm starting to realize that my biggest fear in life is also a fear of being abandoned and alone. And I've spent my entire life up to this point running away from the fear. I've been reading a lot of Nathaniel Branden's work on Self-Esteem a lot. Highly recommend. He talks about shifts you can do now that can help improve your happiness and freedom from your emotional suffering. But he also has work on neurosis and childhood wounds.

Good responses. To summarize, there are a lot of solutions to your problem. @Natasha @Rito mentioned going straight to the source of your problem. False identification with your self, i.e., enlightenment. This is the most direct and effective solution for your problem, and any problem in your life for that matter haha. But I would argue that it's not necessarily quickest. I would say to really get into psychological work. Particularly work that involves your past as other members have said. Such as shadow work, therapy, childhood wounds, self-esteem. But also theres a lot of psychological concepts that emphasize changes that you can do now rather the the past. Work like this can change your perspective and mental framework, therefore changing your behaviors and then changing your reality that emphasize action on what you can currently do now. Nonetheless, you still have to learn to reintegrate dis-owned parts of yourself, the part of your self that is afraid of being abandoned. You have to go as deep as you can into your psyche until you realize that theres nothing to be afraid of. It's actually a very spiritual process. You start to become closer to reality. abandonment issues are fundamentally a fear. A fear of being alone, of not feeling enough, or some variation. But ultimately like all problems in life, they are all rooted from fear. So my point is start getting into heavy psychological work. Start to contemplate more on why your feeling a certain way. Questions that @JeffR1 mentioned are amazing ways to start to be your own investigator. Ultimately you have to be your own therapist. Take this perspective that your treating yourself. No one can inquire into your mental processes but you. Books about neurosis and childhood issues such as John Bradshaw, and authors simliar (can't really think of any rn) are a good start but also combine that with postive psychology that works on changing what you can do right now rather than the past. Authors like Nathaniel Brandel and Martin Seligman are good choices. You'll realize though that the "negative" psychology and positive psychology work are both the same sides of the coin. Both will be beneficial to fixing your problem. And lastly back to the point of enlightenment. Work on your psychology isn't an excuse to not work on enlightenment and discovering the truth to life, but rather it's a different lane. Psychology / self-help and spiritual enlightenment work might seem like a dichotomy at first but you'll realize that these 2 concepts are as well on the same side of the coin. As you get deeper into psychology work and start to introspect about your actions you'll start to realize that enlightenment is the end of the road. - Journal avidly. Right down when you feeling negative and the fear of abandonment. Start to question it and make observations. - Read psychological books focused on the past childhood wounds and sources of your problem to help facilitate you in solving your issue - Still focus on enlightenment, and keep this "dichotomy" (for lack of a better term) in the back of your head. Don't lose sight of the absolute truth. Realize that your still operating in the illusory self and that you can never experience reality and experience true freedom until your enlightened.

If you really care about your meditation habit, and raising your consciousness then you will find time. Obviously manage your time wisely but it's all about prioritizing. If you're having trouble dedicating 20 minutes of your time to meditate out of a 24 hour period then I would suggest reconsidering your priorities. Get back on to your vision on why you started meditating and pursuing enlightenment in the first place. Maybe watch Leo's videos to get some inspiration again. And sometimes you can't find the inspiration and just have to brute force it and use your willpower to dedicate time. Track your meditation and/or contemplation habit via tracker. When you see that you've done it for 59 days straight it's pretty hard to fall of it. - Get back on your reasons and vision for what your meditation / contemplation habit will bring you - Manage time and dedicate a block of time during the day in which you will meditate - Track your habits, build momentum, the longer streak you've done it for the harder it is for you to fall off.

All great suggestions stated above. Now I'm assuming your in an acute episode of negative emotions as you write this post at this moment. Based off ofthe thread title haha. My advice for reducing the severity of this episode is some sort of meditation or mindfulness practice. Watch Leo's video on dealing with strong negative emotions. Meditate, either by focused breathing, or just letting go of attention, or observing your thoughts. Really anything. This will dramatically reduce the severity of the emotions, but it can be very hard to do. But I promise it will help. Once your emotions are under control and you can think rationally without going into another episode or negative spiral then I highly recommend just improving your productivity for the day. Start doing habits you should be doing if your not doing it already. Clean your room. Exercise, read more posts. Something beneficial for you. This is more of a momentum building process you can use to get you of a rut. More of a mid-term fix. Now for getting the long term help, where you never have to deal with these problems ever again then you want to start educating yourself on your psychology. Start reading books about emotions, self-esteem, neurosis. Be more mindful. Think deeply why you feel a certain way. What are you negative about? No one is negative for no reason, I believe. Our natural state is happiness. What are you afraid of? Who are you afraid of? If you had something right now to make you feel better what would it be? A person? A finanical status? A place? Health? Why do you think that would make you feel better? etc... Question your emotions. I'm by no means a therapist but this something I would do in my own situation. And actually something I'm doing right now as I'm currently trying to progress in life and live more authentically. I struggle a lot with anxiety, fears of loneliness, feeling not enough that are very subtle but pervasive throughout my entire life. When I start to feel negative I ask myself why am I feeling negative? Just the reflection and introspection itself can reduce the severity of a negative emotions and longevity of it. Your much stronger than you think you are right now. I promise.

It depends on the context of the question you are asking? If your asking whether or not one should improve oneself, self acceptance vs self improvement, then you have the notion of self acceptance wrong. You can learn to acknowledge and accept yourself, and at the same time strive to improve yourself. Self acceptance doesn't mean self resignation or self condemnation. It means to accepting what you are right now. Self improvement shouldn't be about being at war with yourself. In fact self improvement coming from the right frame is "I love myself enough to want to improve myself because I care". I struggled with this paradox last year. It's so silly how I got caught up in it. I'm assuming the saying which implies some sort of condemnation to your "lower" self is meant to emphasize the more unaware, undeveloped, lower conscious parts of the psyche that hinder growth. Like procastination, limiting beliefs, neurosis, etc.. Anything negative really. But it's not meant to imply that one should be in an adversarial relationship with one self. Yes there are things you can not like about yourself. (and many things about myself I don't like) but don't resign yourself to becoming more conscious and a better person. Kind of dragging on, but you get my point. Hopefully I understood where you were coming from. This is more about the false notion of a dichotomy about "self acceptance vs self improvement" many people come across.

Name: Christian Baclao Age: 20 Gender: Male Location: Las Vegas, USA Occupation: Dayjob working on Cars. Full-time self development junkie. Marital Status: In a relationship Kids: No Hobbies: self development / spirituality / dating and pick-up / fitness / bodybuilding / health / reading / traveling / skateboarding / meditation I first got into personal development when I started to work on my health and fitness in late 2013. My primary concern was to look as good as I can. Following certain youtube fitness gurus I slowly became versed in a little bit of personal development. I remember one day vividly typing in the word "discipline" into google and stumbled across Brian Tracy's Audiobook. This was the first true self development content I discovered. Just like Leo, I eventually became involved in the pick-up / dating community. That was my pure focus for months on end. I knew it wasn't my end goal to just be good with women and fortunately the community was well versed in self development content. This eventually got me down into the road of creating a business, which I dropped and then eventually into full self-actualization where my main concern is emotional / psychological / spiritual growth. More intrinsically focused rather than on money , health, and women, and lifestyle. (Though this is still a focus for me). Finishing up Leo's life purpose course as I type this. Working on becoming a life coach. Personal challenges I've overcome: Able to build some muscle being skinny my entire life. Though I still consider myself still skinny Improved skills with women. Confidently can approach and attract women. Really improved emotional growth and self understanding. Independence from parents. Live on my own What I'm Working On Now: Enlightenment Self-esteem work Deeper personal development. Really getting into academia and psychology compared to general self help books. Getting on track for building the body that I want and consistently eating healthy My relationship issues with my girlfriend, friends, and family. Becoming a life coach. My dating skills with women.

Thank you for creating this. I honestly thought I was the one who would eventually have to create a self-actualization forum. Lol. I just love discussing topics, asking and answering questions, and just getting inspired. Thanks leo! Excited to meet everyone here