Charlotte

@Ether honest question... Why do you come to actualized?

To connect with like minded beings as previously said. To learn. To apply advice to myself. I also read people's advice to each other and apply that to myself also. To see things from others perspectives. To watch people grow. Contemplation of what's been said.

I have to be vulnerable here. last year I took some cannabis oil for chronic pain reason's (hadn't done any types of drug's in years). I was assured that the cannabis oil contained 0% THC. I highlighted very clearly to the seller I wanted no 'high' feelings whatsoever. Anyway, long story short, I took some and I got high as a motherfucker. Like INSANELY high, my tolerance was non existent because I didn't do drug's so it hit me SO HARD. My partner at the time wasn't helping the situation at all. I spiraled into panic, not knowing what was going on and not expecting any effects. This led to an immense 4 hour panic attack. The panic attack I feel scarred me. Anyway, so, to date. As your probably aware I've decided to go down the Psychedelic route and I've been growing my own mushrooms with success (Yaaaay ??) Yesterday, I was prepping the dried batch, powdering it and some must of fell into my cereal (??) (bowl was close to where I was crumbling) I took a mouthful of my oats and noticed an intense potent taste. I shrugged it off and continued with my day. 20 minutes later this INTENSE heat and nausea came over me out of nowhere, the earth moved from beneath me. I thought "Fuck! I did consume some". I wasn't planning on starting my microdosing yet because my dogs are sick and I want the right set and setting. I started to panic a little, thoughts surfaced of "what if I have a full blown trip? The dogs need me! It's not the right time for this! How much did I consume?" So I witnessed my thoughts and panic and noticed where it wanted to take me... I surrendered, MY GOD it was hard but I just breathed into it and fully surrendered, it passed, another one arrived and I surrendered again and it left for good. This experience has made me aware that I am frightened to consume drugs (2 occasions) in fear of a panic attack, I understand both occasions where accidental but I'm still fearful. I've also learnt that I can control them. How do I get to the route of this fear? I really want to get through this, I feel it's incredibly necessary for growth. ♥️??

@Outer weren't a fan of the shirt ? Imagine leo hench AF!

@Leo Gura just to add, love the beard ? ? (sorry for going off topic)

Okay, I have a friend, for the sake of this thread let's call her Ruth (lol at Ruth ). Ruth has messaged me asking me for help. It started by her asking how could she keep promises to herself, she cannot lose weight, it started when she was younger, bullied heavily so she's had this love hate relationship with food all her life, she felt she wanted to lose weight for the sake of other people but now it's turned into health reasons. She feels this is a vicious cycle. She also explains that she cannot love herself. She said " Thing is I like some parts of my body, my personality, my looks, Although I don't like my inability to succeed in weight loss. Do you think I'm ill? I dont think I'm ill. I just think I gotta love myself. Trust myself. Pamper myself. Be good to myself. But I don't know how. My parents have been treating me like shit from childhood. So what can I do? I dont feel like simple things like doing my makeup my hair etc would help to love myself, but rather raise my mood a littlebit. Which I do, I do take care of myself in that level, makeup hair nails etc. It a passion of mine. But thats not enough. I dont have a hand to hold and stay strong. Metaphorically its like I have two hands and one seek live acceptance compassion and my other hand wants me to be miserable, doesnt want to help the other hand, and one hand feels alone, we dont unite. I feel I wanna reconcile with myself. Myself is the only one that I have. Nothing else. If I don't have my support then who can do It for me? Noone cares more than I should care. I wanna be independent strong, a winner. But one hand needs the other." I'm clearly not an expert but what I've come up with is, she hasn't been loved from her parent's growing up, she turned to food as a means to maybe hide/suppress suffering/get pleasure at a young age and that's led to weight issues her whole life. Truly accepting the person she is today I feel would be an immense positive for her but I also feel she has a lot of shadow work to do? I don't think she will be able to accept the person she is today until she reflects into her past and releases any emotional blockages, counseling maybe? Let me know what you think Thanking you ♥️?

@Joseph Maynor Oh I agree Joseph, I'm talking about national TV and radio stations.

@MarkusSweden I don't watch national TV or listen to radio stations. It's the best thing I ever did.

@Rilles ?

@Rilles ? make a swift exit and don't look back at this thread ?

You will do @Viking be kind to yourself, it will surface when it's ready. Keep working on it as you are ?

Last week/weekend I had an intense time. Traumatic/experiential/eye opening/insightful etc, definitely the biggest turning point in my life with regards to "this journey". From that point on, I'm finding I'm crying every time I do Yoga. It's kind of embarrassing in the middle of a class ? I'm there in the corner with a squished face trying to hold it in ? I've cried on 5 occasions now from Sunday. Will this be a form of healing? Or am I cracking up? ??

@Ether ?♥️?........... ..... ?

@Ether ?

@Raphael Everybody has answered perfectly. If I was to answer it would be a repeat of many of the answers already given. Just to add a quick side note from my personal experience (been through one full therapy course and currently in the middle of CBT) I think it takes to find the correct psychologist for yourself. Once you have that 'click' with them, you'll know. Just because they have several qualifications doesn't make them right or right for you. Remember... Everybody comes from a place of their own perspective no matter how much collective training they've had. If you feel it isn't working for you (and from what I've gathered it isn't) find an alternative. How could you ever progress with such therapist? Sending you love and strength ??

I respect faceless for not responding when people get heated @Faceless ?

@Solace Thank you Solace, you to dear friend ♥️ @egoeimai My inbox always welcomes a message from you girl ♥️ @Viking Have you tried Psychedelics? Or any type of shadow work? Thank you! @Torkys As always, lots of love for you friend ? @phoenix666 Always always appreciate your input ? Thank you for your comforting words phoenix (will reply this week to message) ? ?

@Raphael Will read it in a few hours when I get home... don't have my reading glasses on ?? (thanks for the tag) ?♥️

@Solace Will do Solace. Thank you so much ♥️?

@Solace Aaaaarw Solace! What an absolutely beautiful reply ♥️? There was a posture in which you had to wrap your arms around yourself and hug yourself, go deep into it and I started crying with a smile but it felt amazing at the same time. It's not sad cries it's happy, joyful, deeply loving cries. Thank you so much friend ?

@Faceless Just like fear ? It's all ONE movement within itself.

Thanks guy's. Awesome advice. Yesterday I did do as faceless suggested, I voluntarily brought on panic attacks and applied the advice given. By fully surrendering I have been able to overcome them. Next step for me is watching the mind throughout everyday life, during all situations/experiences and emotions. ??

Cheers guys! @NoSelfSelf ??

@Nahmnahm ignore this tag was an accident, althought your input would be highly appreciated. What comes first... The thought or the feeling/emotion?

@Faceless Wow, so it's all mutually interdependent! So interesting. Are they reliant on one another? To be attentive to what sorry faceless? So basically... During every situation, experience etc continue being the witness and not reacting whatsoever, just remaining aware without reaction? I love this ⬆️ sums it up perfectly. Yes I'll remain as I am. After this experience I've gone through, something has changed, I can't describe it, I have this state of complete inner peace and just being. Thank you faceless, so nice to hear somebody actually understand. I can see this is absolutely crucial to becoming free of the 'self'. ♥️?? much love friend