Charlotte

@Wisebaxter Sorry to hear you've gone through them also. But glad to hear your off skunk ? That shit is lethal when abused ?. I only started getting them because someone spiked this cbd oil I took for chronic pain. Imagine not having any weed for near 10 years and then taking some CBD oil with pure THC in it ? my partner at the time looked at me and said. "Your scaring me, I can't look at you" (when I was I stoned) then that was it. Panic set in. Worse because I'd been spiked though ?? I'm working on the root of them daily though so I can trip again because I want to trip sooo much. Yep, exactly. Look forward to reading your update sometime around Jan

@Wisebaxter Funnily enough the guy that mentored me through it decided to drop some mushrooms as we left his room to go next door to sleep and we started to hear screaming, crying and hands banging the floor. We popped our heads round the door and he was genuinely having what looked like the most frightening bad trip ever. I obviously had no idea that bad trip's was even a thing so I thought he was just really upset or something. He had to be retrained by my partner's grand parents ? which in hindsight was really silly of them to do. Panic attacks (fear). But what's incredibly interesting is last October I was self inquiring everyday (before I joined the forum) and one morning in the car, it happened again, literally identical to the trip. 'I' became the formless 'bubble' again (completely sober, no drugs or alcohol) so that proved to me that mushrooms are legit. (I wasn't looking to prove anything) @TheAvatarState wow! Sounds beautiful!! Was you outside?

@Healingheart Have you done any sort of therapy on your past?

@Wisebaxter That was the first and last time I did a full trip. I was fearless, uneducated and had zero knowledge about most things. Also had a beautiful upbringing (cheers mum and dad) so the trip was just sheer beauty. The guy I did them with was my partner's (at the time) uncle. He was a very spiritual man. He was asking the right questions during the trip and explained the trip to me afterwards. The insights I gained from that was realising there where more to life that what I knew. I knew this 'form' was an illusion. I remember slowly coming down from the trip and entering back into the body. During the trip I felt like a talking invisible floating infinite bubble with no boundaries. I could feel energies so rawly (is that even a word? ?) I could touch them, they were part of the infinite boundless formless bubble (I know bubble defies the word boundless and formless but I'm speaking on behalf of my 15 yr old self) From then on I knew the truth, 'I' was it. So yeah... Interesting.

@ajasatya I think that's awesome! Kinda changes your perspective doesn't it. Brilliant dude!

@TheAvatarState I did mushrooms when I was 15 and remember it like it was yesterday. Also way before I got into PD/Consciousness 'work' as you mentioned. I actually even remember the insights I got from it. So I mean even at 15 it was still profound ?

@Rilles Fair enough ? (don't ask me what that emoji's about, just makes me laugh)

Soz, just seen this ?

Any plans for the near future?

@Nahm ??

Full of energy today. Was dying to go to the gym but couldn't get round to it so I danced in the kitchen instead (whilst cooking). Noticed my body craving nutrition so I made a carrot and coriander soup for evening meal. Really muddy organically grown carrots just reeking of vit b 12. Love it. Today whilst walking the dog it appeared to be a really miserable day but I saw the beauty in the grey sky, the beauty of the rain drops falling from the tip of my hood and the beauty and sheer miracle of the wind as I passed through it. The road, the trees... Everything is just perfect as it is. The dog was so content, so happy. As we were walking I felt so connected to him. The connectedness I feel with all living beings is so beautiful and such miracle like it's literally hard to put it into words. Strangers that pass, the grass, the trees, the little pond, even twigs and leaves on the ground. I can feel the connectedness and the energy of everything. I wish someone could take a mile in my shoes to witness how absolutely profoundly beautiful everything is. It reduces me to tears.

@Wisebaxter ❤️??

@Wisebaxter you mentioned you have no one to call etc if you need to talk during your trip or whatever feel free to drop me a PM

Oh my god! This is like what happens all the the time. I'll randomly be driving or whatever and someone will literally say something at the exact time I thought it. Mind blown.

In my experience no. I don't get approached at all. I have had guys come and talk to me (within the group we are in say for example) about random stuff so maybe that's there way of approaching. But definitely don't get guys coming up to me asking me for my number directly or whatever. In my humble opinion, guys seem very insecure and can't even maintain eye contact during a conversation.

Just making my way back from meeting a load of new people from a bar. They all don't drink so that was nice as the conversation could flow. Never met these people before. There all yogis or have stumbled upon their spiritual journey. One a kundalini teacher. She's amazing. She just reeks of love. What struck me is I don't have anywhere near as much social anxiety as I used to have. Maybe the odd ear lobe touch or whatever but that's so minimal to me. Went far away from home on my own into a bustling city centre to meet a load of strangers and the peace remains. Been working on listening to people holistically, without any opinion whatsoever. Just literally accepting whatever it is they are saying without thought. Wow. What a difference. Completely free of mind whilst just listening. Beautiful. Some girl has fallen asleep beside me on the tram drunk and she woke up in panic thinking she had missed her stop. I said to her. "Don't worry I'll let you know when we arrive if you like?" She was grateful and thanked me... Bless her. I do feel I have a willing to look out for other, I feel love for them, not in the romantic sense or as you would love your mum... I don't know. Can't name it.

@Jack River Awesome bro. Have to be honest otherwise what's the actual point? @Shin Shin I'm not in a place of no ego. I haven't fully transcended the self. I am noticing less and less self. Shattering. Uncomfortableness, confusion, identity crisis, realising there is nothing to actually stumble upon. @DrewNows Oh wow. Thanks for sharing dude ❤️ amazing book to stumble upon.

Been in a weird place from yesterday morning. More came after the insight yesterday... This path I am is not a path at all. I've gone from one identification to another. I've sought more identification along my way. I was under the impression I had no more beliefs, I was wrong. Even that in itself is a belief. I'm open minded... Another belief. This path towards enlightenment... Another belief, further identification. I swear this space I'm in at the moment is 'putting the rubber to the road'. Have to remain mindful of when the self starts to look for answers (more identification). The mind detests uncertainty and I'm in that space. This space I speak of, I've noticed negative feelings accompanying it. A feeling of sadness. Feel like I'm stood in the middle of a city centre looking at strangers asking them which direction do I go in. There isn't one is there? There is no direction.

@Shin what do you mean? How? @Jack River so true!! Thank you for your response Jack ❤️ Why process... Exactly ? @DrewNows wow! Sounds like a literal mind blowing trip ? bet that threw you off your feet!?

@Elysian I understand what your saying... What is I mean is i weren't avoiding it consciously. If they had pointed it out to me and made me aware I would then reflect (as I mentioned in my previous reply) @peanutspathtotruth Thank you so much for replying ( I will reply to your thread you have tagged me in when I have a little more time). Fully understand what your saying and agree. Yes I love Matt khan! Will look up the video you mentioned thank you

All advice taken guys. Thank you. I've already started working on it, seeing the bigger picture etc. Upon reflection I realised I must come off annoying and I actually don't blame these people for flipping out. I have to disagree with this though if I had an inkling that I had offended somebody I would apologies and reflect back on my behaviour. Also the fact I posted it here shows that I wanted constructive criticism on my behaviour= not avoidance. I wanted others to be honest and to give me their perspective. @Rilles ???

As part of my qualifications in college, tomorrow I have to stand up for 10 minutes and talk about a controversial topic. Where not allowed to read off any paper. I'm fine standing up in front of groups of people it's just remembering all my info by heart. Any tips pleasing? ?

@Shin I am actually experiencing this zero control but it leaves me with questions shin. If we ultimately have no control, what's the point? I feel (today) as if I have stripped away another huge layer of the self. I think 'I'm' making my way slowly towards nothingness. I genuinely thought killing the self wasn't going to induce this much fear but oh my god was I wrong. Completely and utterly underestimated this... COMPLETELY.

@How to be wise Because my star sign is Leo and leo intuitively new this so therefore asked me to help moderate

@pluto Brilliant Pluto thank you ❤️