Charlotte

Jesus did I wake up sore this morning. My groin is absolutely screeeeaaaaaaaaming at me today. I've had to use a crutch. I've further injured an injury like an absolute pleb. It didn't hurt during practice otherwise I wouldn't of done it ? never mind. Another lesson learnt. Was supposed to be going into the woods tonight with dad for Nye but he let me down at last minute, too dangerous to go by myself. I was so looking forward to it. I bought a little picnic and everything Never mind. I've decided to sit in my bedroom this evening instead and enjoy the stillness in meditation. Also using the time for a time of reflection. I genuinely can't believe the change in quality of life and I'm not even just saying that. I feel like I'm living everyday as if it's my last. I know I keep saying this but everything is just do damn beautiful!

You do seem a bit miffed if I'm honest Joseph. Can you not just chill a bit? (For your sake) ❤️

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Same!! Brilliant isn't it. This thread had got me thinking of laughter and left me giggling ? @Gerhard forgot to mention as well. Dancing around the house HOWEVER you damn feel is also brilliant for laughter. You get that silly it's funny.

@Gerhard Yoga? I giggle for ages all the time. You know the type of laughter you used to do is school when you shouldn't be laughing. That type. Also realising the truth of stuff makes me laugh. In order to laugh at someone cutting you up off for example you'd have to change your perspective.

https://www.uk.dhamma.org/ UK

@Shin Perfect timing shinster

@purerogue ?

@purerogue tradition or belief? If it works for you bro you do whatever you need to do. It was just my opinion ?

With each day that passes meditation is becoming more.... I don't know. I don't want to label anything... I'll say. Different to previous sittings. Tonight I practiced letting go. Deeply. I call it 'getting underneath'. I always know ever lasting presence is underneath everything so I go underneath thoughts, underneath going underneath even going underneath the underneath the underneath This eye appeared. This alien looking eye. Staring into my left eye My chest tightened rapidly and my breathing increased. "It IS me" I said. With this realisation it came closer, quickly. It got so close to my eye it evaporated. My breathing slowed and deepened once more. I then felt this pull, In the centre of the pull is a field of peacefulness and nothing, it feels everywhere all around. Thought cannot enter. Nothing can enter. It feels like 'I' am the forcefield. You lose sense of the body, the distinction between your hands on your body and your butt on the bed. All you feel is sensation. Am I experiencing the dark side of meditation? I will re watch Leo's video and remain conscious.

Accept it. Resistance will cause stress = faster aging. Easy for me to say at 28 but I'm noticing slight aging symptoms now and I just accept it.

You know I actually thought about this the other day and then I realised that waiting for a certain day to start a new beneficial habit never works. Start it today (or at least steps towards it)

Yoga was amazing. We started with Yin which is my favourite, a lot usually comes up during yin. We then did Ashtanga for an hour and a half which flowed for me, which is new. I used to struggle with this by remaining in the mind. Wrists are still giving me gip though. The theme for today's yoga was letting go of the year, letting go of what we've been holding onto. I let go of all enlightenment concepts I've held over the year. I also let go of this need to trip. I figured if I let it go and the calling remains then I will definitely do it regardless of how I feel about it. The need to trip is coming from the mind as it causes me frustration so I've now let it go. I also dedicated my practice to my mum because her image popped up as soon as the teacher asked. We sat in meditation for around 30 minutes, the teacher played a non dual voice clip from Mooji which was awesome to listen to. He was talking about all needs coming from ego and I thought I still have needs coming from this place. The need to meditate properly for example. This year's meditation will be purely based on letting go and then letting go of letting go and so on. I usually do it but I've skipped it a few meditation sits and just focused on the breath. We finished with an OM. After 2 and a half hours my groin injury wasn't happy. I didn't get any pain signals from that area during practice so I must of just done too much ? Now I'm cooking a nutritious plant based Rogan Josh for tea, can't beat a good curry

Woke in the night absolutely piss wet through in my own sweat. Woke at 5am and the body felt shit. Went back to sleep for an hour and woke feeling slightly better. Maybe a small infection of some sort (it's going around). Yoga is at 10:15am and it's a 2 hour special. I've been looking forward to this all week as it's focused around meditation & mantras so I'll drag my arse there if I have to

Today was awesome. I went to the local lake at 07:20am with a friend and we walked and sat bird watching in a little hut. It was amazing. She doesn't mind me walking in silence, she understands ❤️ Got back, took the doggo out for a walk and then went to the park with my niece. We had such fun. We swang together talking in this big round swing talking about things that are invisible. She asked what's invisible. I said your mum and dad. She said.. huh? ? I said can see them right now? She said no, I said well they're invisible then aren't they? She said OH YEAH! slipping in non dual teachings to a four year old We had so much fun on this swing together. I laughed so much my stomach hurt. I felt like a kid. I got back and had the hottest bath I've ever had. Suprise I didn't cook in there ? Meditating eye's shut whilst your ears are just under the water is brilliant. I will do nothing but rest this evening. My knees are trying to tell me something. Quite a lot of pain in the knees which I don't understand because I've lost 6 stone, I'm now at a healthy weight and I'm active af ? I shall book an appointment with the Dr. ❤️ Thank you breath for another beautiful day. Thank you feet for carrying me ❤️

@DrewNows Go do it ?❤️?

You are the 'someone' ❤️

Music and singing is something that I've always deeply resonated with. It's an unspoken language. Singing has been something I've done from early primary school. I used to come home from high school and sing my heart out all evening. It was my therapy. I listen and sing to music every day. Singing has also become another tool on the tool belt for self actualising practices. 'Lose yourself in the music' Tunage of the month - Loving this track, holds a deep message for me.

@kieranperez I read struggle, I read pain, I read confusion. I may be wrong but I feel your acting too much from an erratic mind. Hence your getting this push and pull effect (crab in the bucket as Joseph has named it) Breath, slow down @kieranperez let go brother. Release the control you so badly hold on to. All is well, trust.

Okay so 6 hours is not enough. Went to sleep at 9pm last night and woke at 04:41am this morning so I got a decent sleep. I definitely felt tired yesterday for a short while. A chilled sort of tired. Yesterday we went to our local vet's who was unaware that our dog had passed. The lady that owns the vet's really went all out with diesel when he was alive. She took him home some night's to watch his progress. She was very close with him. We brought her in flowers and a card to thank her for what she did for diesel. No vets would do what she did. She printed off diesel's report from the out of hours vets and assured us they did all they could. My mum needed clarity on the situation. We was still in the dark to what was actually killing him. Turns out it was more than likely an undetected tumour in his pancreas somewhere. My mum walked out of the vet's looking like a different woman. You could see the mental weight that had lifted from within her. Her mind was rested now, the road block removed. She smiled in such a way I hadn't seen for a long time and I was overjoyed for her. I gave her the biggest hug ever. After the vets I came home to rest. I then sat to meditate... Monkey mind was fucking erratic this evening I then went to sleep. Had the most peaceful sleep. I've actually noticed I hardly dream anymore. Well I might do but I don't remember them. I used to dream most nights. Anyway, this morning I'm going for another walk round a popular lake. Going to pick up some frozen peas from the shop to feed the geese and go and walk round the lake in the dark. When I get back I will have to study. I have my end of course maths exam when I go back to college and I ain't ready. I need to prioritize this. This is super important. I'm going to go to my local library to study there.

6 hours sleep. Second day in a row I've been very active throughout the day and been able to happily function with 6 hours. I used to be solid on an 8 hour kip. Maybe I don't need as much? I'll observe throughout the day. Upon wakening I had it in my head I wanted another early morning stroll. Even though I felt kinda lazy I threw my gear on and went out. I sat on the bench enjoying a lovely brew. Being. I carried on walking and met a few absolutely amazing people. They had a dog that looked like my childhood dog that's recently passed. The dog gave me huge kisses and I noticed her breath smelt just like diesels (childhood dog). I said my goodbyes and then I cried because I felt incredibly sad. I carried on walking through fields and I passed the most beautiful random donkey. I just wanted to cuddle him ❤️ I know I've said this one million times but I'll make it a million and one. Walking outside in nature provides something that's unimaginable. I literally cannot put it into words. It's a gift.

@Shroomdoctor ❤️?

@Aquarius You know I am always here if you need to talk/vent whatever sister ❤️ my door is always open.

Has any of you guys meditated and afterwards you don't remember any of it? Like you don't even remember being sat there until you open your eyes.

@Jack River yes your right jack. Bloody hell ? lucky lad!