Charlotte

I'm back BITCHES ? Tonsillitis doesn't half grip me by the ball's ? Yesterday was the first time I'd been out the house in like 4 days. I've missed the dog walks so bad. I got out and it was a beautiful day. I stood in front of the sun and cried with how much I had missed it and how absolutely beautiful life was. I dragged myself to college that was a challenge as I'm still a little bit ill. Glad I went in. My friend bought me another gift ?. She really didn't have to although I appreciate them very much. I kept up with meditation every day whilst I was ill. Wow... when your dying shivering with a fever that's so tough ? but you can (and this is what I did) is realise the pain body is separate from awareness. I'm not going to lie when your that ill it's tougher than the odd pain. I made the most nutritious tea last night also. The body was craving it. All plant based and wholefoods. Also was craving jalapenos ?? Off to college this morning. I had an idea whilst I was poorly. I'm going to ask the head of English and maths if I can possibly set up my own meditation class for students. I think it will be a great idea for the students. I'll update later.

@Zigzag Idiot Come to think of it you have a point! Yeah I have the full lot, fever, chest infection etc. Genuinely believe this is a blessing in disguise because of the groin strain. Today was my usual Yoga practice day and I had to miss it. First time I've missed yoga since January 2018. Brilliant time to practice acceptance but I'm not going to lie it's been incredibly tough. My Yoga teacher thinks I'm holding trauma in my hips which is leading to injury. She may be right but we shall see. Hope your well mate and thanks for your insight ❤️

Been really poorly. Swollen lymph nodes decided to come up and bite me in the ass. Day 2 of being in bed. I appreciate life even more now ? I'll continue to listen to my body and rest as much as poss, regardless of the mind.

Thanks for sharing. Doesn't it make you feel ALIVE afterwards? Like... "Oh my god I DID IT!! What else can I do?" Keep at these fears bro, they'll transform you but at the same time it would be really helpful to observe thought whilst doing so. You can literally observe how your mind manipulates you in everyway and with that observation you will be able to break through fears because you will then be aware of the illusory nature. Viking if you identify with mind as much as you say you do how can you be sure that this 'intuitive' feeling is really intuitive at all?

@Viking @Viking Go and do something that your shit scared of doing Viking and actually do it, follow it through consciously. Facing a few fears can be a great source of 'reboot'. It can get to a place where you literally have no idea what your capable of anymore. Just by bypassing and being conscious of fear itself. Also what is this fear you speak of?

Take notes.

I have an end of year exam on the 15th Jan and I haven't studied once. I'm being a lazy f. 'Charlotte, you made this commitment to your life purpose and it ain't going to fall on your lap without the graft so pull your head out of your arse and actually do something about it.' I can talk about about how much I want it until the cows come home but if I actually don't put the rubber to the road I might as well just continue daydreaming. I will start tomorrow (today). I'll go to the library and actually start. I've gotten too comfortable in the comfort zone and I sure as hell no the comfort zone kills (metaphorically speaking). I know if this was English studies I'd be all over it but it's maths and it just doesn't resonate with me at all so I end up avoiding it. I just cannot seem to grasp it. Regardless, I'll start tomorrow, build momentum with it and try my best.

@Viking Sorry to hear your feeling this way ❤️ Have you done anything at all to challenge yourself over the past few months? Like really challenge yourself. Facing fears? Overcoming fears?

@Tistepiste No worries at all brother ❤️

https://www.youtube.com/user/ActualizedOrg

This

This morning I woke and just wanted to sing... song of choice.

@Zigzag Idiot My absolute pleasure ❤️

Something has shifted over the past two months. It's no longer just belief based. I actually am starting to see that we are this awareness that experiences 'stuff'. I am actually living it everyday. Not all the time but the direct experience is happening more times throughout the day. Thoughts are part of this experience, they're the biggest and the most rooted. Emotions come next, they're also extremely illusory and will trick you big time. Then I'd say sensations come next. See, hear, touch, smell etc Reality/life is a wave. People don't understand they can choose to ride this any way they wish, or not at all, observing the wave. They have this eternal still presence they can access or remain in and they don't even know it! Suffering has been the portal for me personally. The death of the two dogs. Also observing thought throughout the grieving process was a game changer. Eckhart's teachings and what he speaks of are spot on.

@Viking Possibly lost connection to nature and to life. Are you maybe taking life for granted? Listen to Preetom's questions ❤️ And maybe contemplate and visualise your death (on your death bed for example). I know it sounds morbid but I can only speak from personal experience and it worked for me greatly.

@Viking Do you value life?

I was going to right exactly the same.

You made the right decision at the time. That exact time. It couldn't of been any other way? Do you see it? Can you go back and change it? What you are doing friend is bringing thought into your present (the past.) Dragging it all with you... I know it's harder than what it appears but do this for you. Bring up the choices you made into your awareness and feel the emotion that comes with them. Feel them fully and then say "I forgive myself." Say it so you believe it. Say it over if you have to.

@VioletFlame ❤️

Dog/god. Just sayin ? ?

Theme of the year. Accept and flow? Or Resist and suffer? Your shout. ?

Please keep threads on topic you beautiful hoomans you.

This!!! Thank fuck someone said it! I feel it's being taken as an ideology on this forum sometimes

@Rilles Faw shaw ?

Nah, he's definitely trippin balls in his flat ?