Charlotte

@Shroomdoctor Dude!... That's mint to read! Definitely keep us updated I'm well intrigued. I'll be starting the wim hof soon after my exam is out of the way. I had concerns with lack of oxygen to the brain leading to brain damage in the future with the method but I've dropped that shit now and I'm going to get on with it. Not sure about the cold though with arthritis @Shiva @The Don Sorry guys ignore tag.

Wow! So interesting. Thanks so much for sharing.

@Shin Yeah it's tough to live with 24/7 ? Thanks again shin. Your smile reply made me smile

@Shin The pain?

@Shin Thanks shin

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!! Okay I'm mega excited because I've just been to the first Pilates class and halfway through the class I felt this release... Then the pain went away like 70%!! I forgot what it felt like to be free of pain in that area! My walking limp has reduced about by around 75%. Literally feels like a miracle. I thought it would help but this quickly? In half an hour?? I'm literally shocked. As the pain subsided at the hip I felt the groin strain was still present. Literally don't know what to say. I'm shocked ? I meditated earlier as I learnt my lesson from last night but I feel like sitting again so I'll do so after tea. Cooking a big carrot, spring onion, sprouted broccoli, tofu and mushroom stir fry for tea. Physio tomorrow and math exam. Will update. P.s ?????

@Outer Thsnk you outer. Appreciate it. I'm already taking a high omega 3 smoothie daily ?

@Shiva @The Don Cheers dudes!! ❤️

Okay so quick update. I attended hatha yoga and noticed prior to attending there were definitely fear. Fear of further injury because I'm currently limping everywhere and everything seems to be worsening it at the moment. So during practice itself the body was okay as long as I completely listened. I held back from around 3 postures and amended certain postures to suit. I won't be attending the lady's class again as she's a massive newbie yoga teacher and her sequence was everywhere. It doesn't suit the body's specific needs right now. Also some of the postures she was spontaneously diving into could easily cause injuries to some of the women there. In the past I took a liking to Iyengar yoga so I've researched this in my area and found a teacher nearby so I'll be starting that in the near future. After yoga last night I got back and did the new core routine and meditation. I left meditation too late in the evening as I almost drifted towards the end. Tonight I'll be starting the beginners Pilates class on the other side of town which will hopefully help aid the body to recovery. I've also been taking a mix of ground flaxseed, chai seed, walnuts and extra protein to help the body. I've been researching hemp seeds also. Finding out about where to avoid buying from etc but I eventually came across a small company that sells hulled hemp seeds from an organic farm in Lithuania. They cost a small fortune but sacrifices is to be made at this current time. Tomorrow morning is my second physio appointment and then in the afternoon is my end of year maths exam which I'll most likely fail but I can retake. Also tomorrow evening is the first class of the philosophy course I signed up to which I'm actually really looking forward to. I feel what's happened has helped formed a deeper relationship with the body in a weird way. I think the lesson in all of this is to be more aware. Through lack of awareness I may have caused this injury in myself. I'm waiting on an appointment from the doctor's to see the musculoskeletal team in which they will send me for an MRI etc so that will be interesting.

At home Pilates session: 8 separate exercises 15 reps/2 sets. All went well. Definitely works the core. Looking forward to getting into the studio. I then went onto 3 sets of 60 second plank sessions. After learning back into child's posture on the third set I cried... Again ? no reason. Hatha yoga this evening with a new teacher. For the time being Ashtanga isn't for me. I've never used a different teacher so I'm looking forward to that. I'll have to be extremely extremely careful and hyper aware of the messages from the body. The practice this evening will be a great test of ego. Contemplating cold water swimming down at the local lake. I'll inquire. Although they say cold water/weather isn't great for arthritis but I'll trial and error it and see how it goes from my own experience. Bit dubious about the chlorine in indoor swimming pools, plus I'll be in nature amongst bird crap in the water... What more could I ask for? ? An amazing caring member on the forum also sent me a link to Manchester's college of neuropathic medicine which I'm all over like a rash. I'll update as I go along. I have an iyengar yoga retreat in June, in menorca so rehabilitating myself towards this date (although not pressuring). Little set personal goal. Also started drinking turmeric tea. Will update later. (Missing Leo's vid ?? today, get well leo ?)

@Jack River ignore tag sorry. What do I mean by illusory. Good question. Without going all non dualy. What I mean is that thought is illusory in the sense that it isn't 'us' it's not our reality. Identification with thought leads to suffering. Once we truly realise that it literally is just a... Happening, after careful observation disidentification happens and thus leading to the present moment (it was already always there but you know what I mean).

@Jack River I kinda get a feel from the content replied to and posted. Maybe that's me assuming though ?

@Jack River I understand jack I do but you have to meet people where they're at. If I was to communicate to Rilles in this manner I feel it wouldn't be much help to him. (I might be wrong though) Break down the illusion bit by bit.

Okay so today I didn't fast. Didn't feel like it. I'll be making a nutritious tea though after study. I came to the coffee shop to meet my friend to study, even though I reeaaalllllyyyy couldn't be bothered. But I did it and I'm glad I did. Today I also enrolled onto a 10 week philosophy course. 10 minutes drive from my house for £10. How could I not do it?? Excited to start this Tuesday evening. Yet to complete today; Pilates exercises and other forms of strength building exercises. Meditation Plan to do this when I go home in a minute.

@Rilles Negative thought = negative energy in stomach. If your not aware of how the negative thought can snowball your in for a whirlwind of shit my friend. Are you aware Rilles, truly aware that thought is illusory? Have you contemplated thought? Have you witnessed it's illusory'ness?

Constant contrast to the past: I used my mind is not calm anymore technique has become shitty. Comparing the now (which is perfect by the way) to the past (concept) which will make you feel shitty (hence your last comment... Realise Rilles all you saying is merely JUST ANOTHER THOUGHT.

@Rilles constant reference to the past Realise rilles it's merely another thought(s)

@billytblack how about lemon tekking?

Right okay, since the forum is working again (yay) I can update properly Last week in college I had a word with the head of English and maths. I put it to her about me running a guided meditation class for the college. I had it in my head that around 5/6 students would show or something. Well later on in the day she pulled me to one side and said. "Charlotte thank you so much for offering the guided meditation, I've had a word with my team and as it stands there is 26 staff that want to attend." ... Me: Fuck. I was not expecting that! ?? My arse fell out of me. I've never led a guided meditation before, I do find it very hard to communicate this work but I'll try my best. I'll update as I go along with this. Tuesday approaching is my final maths exam. Because my head's been completely in the clouds with my health I've completely overlooked it. I'll be studying this weekend and hopefully pass it with the skin of my teethies if I don't. I have another shot anyway but still... I'd prefer to pass first time. So yesterday I had my first physio session. She did a number of physical tests on the body and said. "Although you do have hip issue's, I think the pain is primarily coming from your back." This shocked me to be honest. It honestly feels like it's coming from the hip. During physio she did a number hands on treatments and electrical pulsation type of treatment. She gave me a rubber band to do certain exercises with and also a Pilates exercise sheet which I must incorporate into my daily routine. I'm going to set a specific time in the day to do all this and journal it here. I'm sure the feedback of my progress will help her with her job to. Yesterday I had to take dogs for their daily longish walk. I was a little apprehensive because of the pain. I was listening to a specific Tolle video along the walk, Tolles voice always encourages presence. As I was walking and being present I noticed I was unconsciously doing certain things when pain arose: When pain was present I unconsciously 'homed' in on the area. Then pictures of the x-ray arose in the mind (very rapidly and very subtle) This actually aggravated pain further because I'm not actually feeling it for what it is. I'm feeling it for the images in my mind. I believe this could bring on further pain and possibly even make the injury worse I had a continual thought of my right leg and hip being weak. Again, this was happening unconsciously up until yesterday. Thus providing more pain. Once I realised thede small but powerful insights I dropped them immediately and remained in the present moment. No shit. The pain reduced. Presence can relieve pain and unconsciousness can increase. Fact. (Not all pains but a lot of) I also listened to another video along the walk that I think @Shin may be interested in. It brought a lot of realisations for me and I hope it can help other. When the day was closing I fancied listening to Leo's old guided meditation episode. Wow. I forgot how powerful this was. I wish he would do more @Leo Gura Upon opening my eyes from this meditation the body wanted to go on all fours and do that movement again. I was moving like a snake from the spine. Swaying in all directions. I then started breathing unbelievably deeply using ujia breath. I stood up. Walked into the front room, feeling okay. Then lent over with my hands on my thighs and just cried... What a release! I then looked at my dogs and felt an insane amount of love for them. It was beaming out of my chest. I could feel it all everywhere. They could feel it. My day came to a beautiful close. Oh and forgot to say... Whilst I was driving to the doctor's this taxi was in front of me. #universemuch ?

These boxes will not disappear! ?

Android, Google Chrome on 2 separate 2019 made device's (one smartphone one tablet) timing out after 1 or 2 threads. Switch between WiFi and mobile data once loads one thread quickly then time's out.

@ajasatya I actually never thought of this! What a great suggestion. I'm going to research it to death tonight. Thank you ❤️

(((For some reason I'm struggling to access this site. I keep updating and the connection is timing out when I'm posting so I keep losing it all ?))) Today has been one of the most profound days of my life to this moment. I cannot explain it in words so I'll convey via pictures.

100% agree dude. Oh yes definitely, I think what's even more important if not thee most important is how you mentally approach these injuries/diseases/whatever. Your state of mind will determine your outcome and quality of life. Hahahahahahaha it was amazing!! Thank you ❤️

Where do I begin... fuck. I've had some shattering news today. Not going to lie I've been devastated. As I've wrote previously I've been managing this groin strain. well it got too much for me today. I tried taking the dogs out yesterday for a walk and when I got back I felt as if I'd further injured myself. Last night I was reading up about groin strain in a little more detail and it came apparent that I would have to completely stop yoga in order for this to even begin healing. I cried deeply. When I was 20 I wanted to go in the army so bad. It was my passion, my dream. I trained and trained and trained for years but then I got a niggling pain in my back which was preventing me from running and doing certain movements. I knew as soon as I went to the doctor's I'd be stricken off from the army as a possible candidate so I put up with this pain for another 6 months or so. Then it became too much. I went and had the relevant scans etc and they found genetic osteoarthritis. It felt as if my life had been completely taken away from that day. I spiraled into depression, obesity and abuse of alcohol. I grieved this loss for years. I became a no one. It was only up untill I found actualized.org that I was able to fully get a grip of life, to wake the fuck up. I found yoga through actualized.org. Through yoga I felt as if I'd returned 'home'. This was my main spiritual practice and last night it felt as if I'd had another 'army' type loss. Only today have I accepted that for now... My matt will remain in the corner of the room. I went to the urgent care centre today (this morning) I couldn't walk. 4 hours and an x-ray later they diagnosed me with osteoarthritis in my right hip. He showed me on the x-ray how much cartilage I've lost. This is probably why I've sustained a groin strain. When he told me... I felt 20 years old again... Sat back in the neurosurgeon's room recieving the news about my back. I just couldn't fucking believe it!!! REALLY???? I walked (hobbled lol) around for a short while trying to digest what had just been said to me... I became very sad for a short while. I just wanted to cry. When I got to mum's I googled the shit out of physiotherapy. I wasn't going to let this take me. NO WAY! I've come way to far, accepted way to much and faced to many fears to let this grip me. I booked my first physiotherapy appointment for tomorrow morning. Literally so excited to start. I don't care how much this costs I will help my body heal. I've now accepted it. I sat for meditation and put on a body healing guided meditation. I cried throughout the duration. I will heal my body through the power of the mind... I know just how powerful it is. I will love and cherish every single cell that they regenerate. #Watch this space