Charlotte

@Ampresus over the past few months I went on a few dates and learnt a few things based on my personal experience: Eating at a restaurant adds 100× more pressure onto the date. Make eye contact and keep body language open and inviting Make her laugh but don't try to hard ? Know when to leave and respect her personal space (if she wants it) Keep the question's on her but not to pry Smile but not to the point where it's creepy ? Be yourself, don't people please And most of all remain present Best date I went on was going playing ping pong for 2 hours having fun. Then sitting down to talk for a while. Have fun and good luck! (Keep us posted) ❤️

Morning Michael! Thanks so much Exactly! I don't like being addressed as vegan anymore... I use plant based cruelty free conscious lifestyle Yes it's a lot isn't it! She also adviced I buy some cytoplan glucosamine? I'm definitely struggling squeezing 9 in a day... Fruit's seems to be much more manageable but I'm running out of ideas for the veg, there's only so much you can bang into a smoothie until it starts to taste disgusting ? Oh thanks for the tip!!! Bless you Michael thank you so much for your support. Your amaaaaazing and my inspiration

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Yaaaaaaaaay I'm back. Yoga retreat went extremely well. It fell at such a crucial time. I had survived off 12 hours sleep all week during exam period. I don't know how but I did. I crashed out on Menorca for 2 days and relaxed. It was so needed. We did 4 hours of yoga daily. 2 in the morning 2 in the evening. Both included pranayama and meditation and some nidra. Unfortunately I had to sit out for a lot of postures because I've injured myself again (bursitis) so I've come back unable to do much with regards to exercise. I went to my follow up CNM appointment in which she told me to eat the core of a pineapple because it contains bromelain which has anti inflammatory properties. She also told me to increase cruciferous veg to 9 portion's a day. Told me to sit back on the exercise and reduce. I've found these appointments extremely insightful and interesting, not only that but I've made a new friend ☺️ (the lady who consulted me) which is always nice. So a lot of shifts have happened since the 'trip' as I think I mentioned but more are becoming apparent. Vegan ideology has gone. The suffering I endured with regards to 'compassion for animals has gone. ((This was huge for me)) In turn that's given me a healthier relationship with my dogs. I don't feel attached to anything in that way anymore. I no longer feel the need to want to partake in activism anymore, I feel I'm looking at things from a more zoomed out holistic perspective... More understanding. I can see the traps of many things, even 'harmless' label's such as vegan. But I do feel a little guilty because I'm like 'so you not gonna speak for the animals?' and to be honest I don't think it is about not speaking for them... Its more about HOW it's done. I don't feel it's strategic, conscious, or even effective for that matter. I feel they are trying to tackle a problem from the same level of that problem which is completely ineffective. I've also noticed judgements have dropped. Again just a more holistic understanding approach has taken its place. Just bought a systems thinking book off the book list which I'll be reading after the current book. I think I mentioned somewhere prior in the journal that I had made a small brake through with regards to shadow work. One day I sat down at mums and I told her I'm still heavily hung up about the body image. She started giving me a small counswli session in which I realised I had been rejected the 'old me' the old Charlotte... I was viewing the heavy, overweight, unhappy, thick and bullied old Charlotte as a separate ego. Denying and pushing her away. Looking at her in disgust. In the shadow obviously which I was completely oblivious to. Upon this realisation I cried deeply and felt sympathy for myself (for old Charlotte) I grabbed her and told her she is loved and accepted. This is one of the reasons that I maintained an unhealthy relationship with food. By denying food I was denying the old Charlotte, running from her and afraid to ever slip back there. All unconscious illusion of course. LP has also seemed to of taken a different direction. I'm going in the direction of psychology. I'll be studying this, this year as well as maths. Overall I just feel more conscious as well like I can feel within the body if I am not being true to myself. Such strong signals that you cannot ignore. 'I follow the feeling' More awareness of where I am deluding myself comes up much quicker and guide's me in the right direction. Reality has changed in the sense that I actually see that the mind creates everything. Also since finishing college I have a strong pulling to wanting to continue learning which I've never had before so I'm doing different courses... One of them being https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn which is proving to be extremely interesting. After that I'm gonna learn another language.. don't ask me why ? I'm also still microdosing. This month has been a month of gifts for me. I have been surrounded by the most beautiful heart centered people. I've cried out of sheer joy and gratitude. ?♥️?

Arrived in Minorca yesterday. ABSOLUTELY fuuuucked. All week I had around 12 hours sleep, I was working on empty. I don't know how but I managed to smash my exams and arrive here in one piece. A week of Yoga, self reflection and meditation is literally what I need right now. I've also met a potential partner. This is all I have to say about it...

Wow what a week. So I had the first exam yesterday. I genuinely gave it my all. Mindfulness played a huge part in the exam as did observation of thought. I noticed from previous practice exams that my nerves were getting in the way so I devised a plan for my self and it worked a treat. I really smashed homeostasis and turned everything around. I didn't want to attend philosophy yesterday because my mind was actually hurting from the exam so I went to the gym instead. Last exam on Friday ((the big one)) and then off to Minorca for a yoga retreat 0500 the next morning so trying to cram everything in. Monday I also had a huge breakthrough with regards to shadow work (I've been working on that simultaneously) I'll write more about it when I get back. I made myself come off the forum whilst I crack on with the exams and I'm glad I did because remaning on here was part of the homeostasis, not gonna lie though I can't wait to come back ?

Don't worry about anybody else dude. Just focus on yourself.

So did what I set out to do and I smashed the studies this week. Today I took all the homework in I had done (revision workshop) and when it was marked the teachers told me I could be aiming for a grade 7 which is like a top B. Buzzing with that. This week I've really got stuck in after watching Leo's video and I also were hyper aware of homeostasis. Apart from that I've been doing a lot of yoga. Yoga has completely shifted after the trip. It's now more grounded in an actual spiritual practice, I don't know how to explain that but you'll have to take my word for it. Also yesterday in the kitchen (on my way to take the dogs out for a walk) randomly started moving my arms and hands again in synchronization, could feel the energy escaping through the finger tips. Same movements as the trip. Felt a sense of liberation and love followed by crying. Completely random. Even the dogs looked confused ? Awwrene of the mind and how it's creating reality is falling ever deeper still, I literally just see this loop.

Loved it.

How are you getting on with the procrastinating dude? Are you enjoying the forum?? I'm studying for... I don't know in all honesty ? my life purpose will be based around some sort of healing career but I really don't know what yet... Just getting my basics out of the way (qualifications I should of got in high school). How about yourself? @Thabit Al-khateeb oh I saw that, that outlandish posted yes it looked good. Was it good??

What is fear actually?? ?

I've actually been revising!! Like soooo much. I'm buzzing ? Leo's right, the only way to counteract procrastination is to take action. Legend leo... Legend ✌️ ... Back to it I'm passing these exams if it kills me ?

@Thabit Al-khateeb my pleasure. It is very interesting isn't it! Wow that's a beautiful life purpose!! I also recommend (if you haven't already)...

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@DrewNows That was taken 12 hours after the trip the other day Thank you! @Serotoninluv uncharted lands... Exactly! ?? ❤️

Elaborate...

I'm only just coming to terms with what the self does to survive, it's utterly unbelievable, surely a fucking miracle? And I thought I knew last year, oh my god I know ABSOLUTELY nothing ? how far can this go? There's just layers upon layers of sheer intelligence at work here.

Contemplation 100%. Asking yourself the relevant powerful questions. It sounds like you could do with getting to the root issue of this. I can also relate as I still see traits of this in myself. I see it and love it now though, do not judge it, creating more fragmentation and resistance. Accept it then Love it to death when it arises but also work on it. ♥️

Unconditional, boundless, timeless, infinite, selfless, blissful love.

@luismatos to me personally it sounds like you've been judging yourself because of this brick wall you've hit. Are you only content during times of growth? Are you aware of how much you're judging yourself?

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