Charlotte

First of all... Well done! This can be actually life changing, talking from my old people pleasing experience, I found I suffered A LOT! You genuinely sound like my old self, I could of wrote this last year. I was able to bring awareness to the fact that I learned my people pleasing traits from my mother, she still does it now and I see her suffering ?. You've seemed to realise that you can't control other people's reactions but your own, this is critical! Take that with you and apply it everywhere in your life! Keep up the good work and again, well done! ?

Rome wasn't built in a day. Be aware of mental masterbation and take more action rather than just accumulating knowledge You will slowly align to your true self, have faith in your decisions. ALWAYS take the most emotionally hardest and difficult path.

Looking for opinions & reviews (if any)..

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@Leo Gura Would you consider shooting more guided meditation episodes?

Hahaha only joking ???

No it's definitely more on the lines of...

I smile for no reason anyway, nothing new there then ? I'm also going to concentrate more on the breath, I'm starting to realize the power of the breath, something I've naively overlooked for many years, only now am I seeing the true power. This morning, I noticed a stranded car with passenger stuck in the snow, I pulled over and offered help, she claimed a highways officer had already tried to push the car out with no luck, "I'll try" I said, I focused on my breath and pushed the car back out onto the road. Afterwards I noticed my heartbeat had risen quite significantly and I was shaking from the adrenaline, I took deep, slow mindful breaths and slowly returned to a place of calm. I'm learning

I get you now. Thanks for clarifying that. I've taken another perspective on it... It's an illusion anyway! From now on, when I get into a social situation, I'm going to view these people as just an extension of myself, which they are.

@Shin I've read that people can control it... And I honestly believe it is within my control. I'm producing it so why can't I unprpoduce it. Ignore these quote boxes ⬇️

Are you referring to the social anxiety @Shin? @Happy thanks, will do! ❤️

Thank you @egoeimai helps a lot. I do after a certain amount of time, slowly start to feel myself relax. I really contemplated last night as to why I get like this. A lot of it is self image issues and other times it is something else. Like yesterday for instance, I noted myself starting to relax BUT then I needed the toilet, so I went to the toilet and whilst washing my hands I naturally started looking in the mirror, adjusting my hair etc, I then noticed punishing self doubting thoughts arising... "Look at you you ugly person, look at the state of your hair and make-up" etc from that moment in the bathroom it escalated. I've had image issues for as long as I can remember, not just in company, in my life altogether. I will definitely give what you said a try and stop resisting. Thank you ❤️

That's helped a lot @Vipassana thank you. I've just read the link that shin kindly posted and it gives a breathing exercise there also. Thing is, how can I focus on my breath whilst listening and communicating with another person? Do you have cold showers? Please tell me how it's helped you? Thanks again Vipassana & @Shin ❤️

Sorry, self image. Yeah, all that time. Thank you for the link

Actually... Contemplating on it, I'm paranoid about my self imagine (always have been) ?

Hmmm... I honestly can't put my finger on it. Say it is textbook social anxiety @Shin, how do people go about changing that? It's funny, I felt I lost a part of myself for them few hours because I'm usually a very calm chilled out person and when this anxiety kicks in it changes me into this fast talking, nervous wreck

No, funnily enough @Shin if people don't find me cute, smart, funny I believe that's their issue. I am who I am and that's it. I genuinely tried to just watch my thoughts and I couldn't find anything that stuck out to me, maybe I'm not aware enough yet of certain thoughts ?

@nikolay

@Omario What a moment in your life this is! I remember mine, talk about waking up! Congratulations ??

@nightrider1435 how did you quit? I'm addicted to my ecig ?

Fair enough. Dry hits? That's not good, could you post a picture of your setup?

The more people I speak to or listen to that claim they are on their path to enlightenment or self actualisation the more I'm seeing a recurring trait of Arrogance. Shouldn't it be the opposite? What's this about? I genuinely believed with self actualisation and ego transcendence work came a new understanding and compassionate approach to all from where I'm standing some people just don't have the time of day for other people that aren't where they're 'at'. I'm not going to lie it's a little bit disheartening as you look to these people for advice/perspective. Do you just look past these people and move on?

I also grew up eating meat and a standard UK diet (I'm 27 now), the start of January 2018 whilst I was falling asleep I remember saying to myself "I don't want to eat meat anymore" and went on to contemplate a little. The next morning, I woke as normal and a couple of hours into the morning, I remembered what I was contemplating the previous night, from that moment on I became pescatarian, literally, cold turkey, one night, boom! Your possibly limiting yourself by saying "I can't really help it" ?

*Mind blown* How could you possibly use alcohol as a tool? I don't drink but I'm genuinely interested

I literally could of wrote this. I've been in relationships from the age of 13+ (I'm now 27), I was bullied at school and felt unnatractive, when I got into a relationship I felt beautiful and wanted. From the very first relationship I had I never wanted to be alone again, if I was single, it meant I felt worthless, unnatractive and unwanted. This caused me to get into relationships for the complete wrong reasons and usually they failed. I've only come to release this (last year). So yes, your right, they are like an addiction