xist

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Everything posted by xist

  1. nofap for (your age / 5) regularly. circulate the energy with breathing and kegels, it helps a little bit and develops you. personally 2 weeks is too painful, i wish you well in your mission though. Peace
  2. is endless talk about exactly what "enlightenment" is, necessary? Leo often you say "i will talk about that in future videos" with regard to other smaller insights to be gained. While "enlightenment" is the end goal, it is a lofty one. I'm at the start and more interested in illumination or direction towards other "smaller" insights to be had along the path, do you have anything in the works? i read "the way of the superior man" yesterday. amazing book which i think aligns with enlightenment work.
  3. @Nahm ya i searched the forum and internet but only found metaphorical talk of doorways. i considered it as a doorway of perception firstly. Since it was the first time i've ever seen things sobre, i kinda freaked out and opened my eyes. The door way was a white frame and there was no door it was just a black i.e. your "nothing". I'm wondering if i need to go through these doors (if i ever see one again) as a kinda existential trial or its the ego manifesting some dogma, pearly gate and devil eyes. @Serotoninluv im hearin ya as a reflection, i woke up thinking complete detachment could be boring. speaking of moving on. I often encounter social situations that leave the voice in a repetitive story i struggle to let go. are there any specific meditative techniques i could be using that can perhaps push this process into the unconscious where it belongs. It sometimes is an irritant and affects future moments negatively. My angst is often unintentionally misinterpreted as against the collective when its a specific person/moment.
  4. Hi, I just started meditating/self enquiry. the first time i did leos guided video i saw two eyes and then a doorway and my eyes fluttered open before i was like wtf am i a doorway? lol This time i was just sensing the "raw data" as he puts it. But i dont really identify with nothingness. My awareness seems to be visual in nature as it moves around seeking while the other senses just pulse. I've also for a long time had swirling patterns when i close my eyes and focus (or let go). so when everything is stripped away that's usually what i'm left with. i enjoy exploring it and look to it for answers to my questions, Is this considered "monkey mind" stuff that i should be trying to quiet? At the end of the last session "being" was kinda like a spark cloud. just a distraction? or is this valid "self inquiry"? would appreciate your insights. peace