T1r1on

INFP-A this time. The last time I took it I was INTJ. But, I've been working on myself since then. I do feel that INFP describes me better. Even looking back. Maybe I wasn't as honest as I thought I was the first time.

Today was interesting. I didn't get hurt which is always a good thing. I woke up early and watched the LPC. Work was boring and I swept most of the day. I have come up with a new type of meditation, broom meditation. I just let my body go into auto pilot and delve into my mind. Time seems to go a little quicker this way, and I did some self inquiry. I've never had "luck" with ladies. I was under the impression that I wiuld die a hermit, but I started asking myself questions and found out that I have a fear blocking me. The fear of looking foolish to be exact. So, I never realy tried to get a realationsip. Now, I'm 24 and wandering how do I even get started. First, is correcting the fear, but it's the other stuff. I guess trial by fire is a resonable option. Compoud that with some classes or something. It shouldn't be too hard. Or, so I say now. Also I've getting wierd sensations throughout the day. It's kind of like a burst of energy, but it's not. I become super aware of everything for a split second, then it goes away just as fast as it came. I can't help but wonder what this is, and if I can make last longer. Since we're on awareness. I have been noticing more things. Like I feel more sensations in my body at any given moment. And I catch thing in my vision quicker. I've been hereing things that I usualy don't notice. It's not a huge dramatic gain, just more. It's enogh to notice, and affect little things. I didn't get to read or work on the website today. I was bussy making a workbench for my sister. It's been a while since I've gotten to work with wood. I forsee a change in that for the future. I like making guitars. Tomorrow I'm going to publish the site. I have to do that so I can sign up for an affiliate program I found the other day. And, I kind of want to start guiding traffic to the site. It may be rocky at first, but I learn quickly. I want to sit down and read for an hour or two as well. I don't get to do that as much as I would like. Then, I promised to help my sister make some shelves out of pallets. And, I need to work on a couple logos. Tomorrow is full. I have a feeling that someone is going to want to hang out as well. That's just what I need. But, I'll just roll with the punches and knock it out.

Today kind of sucked. I kicked my own ass. First I smacked my head with a chain. Then, I cut my thumb open with a can. After that, I smashed my other thumb with a hammer. And last, I smacked mt shin on a saw blade. The chain hurt the most. It left me dazed for a little bit. Hopefully tomorrow goes the other direction. Not all of it was me making new scars though. This morning was amazing. I got a good breakfast, and 20min of visualization in. The dream I had last night gave me some motivation to work extra hard on the website. So, I'm adding a new page to it after I get it set up. I have the page set up and ready to go. As for the rest of the site, all I have left to do is add a few links and descriptions and make a logo. I haven't watched the next video in the LPC yet. I am going to do that after I finish this post. Meditation was excellent last night. I went deep. I almost fell asleep, but that happens when you do it tired. Itbwas cool though. I was falling asleep and I noticed it in a different way. It's like I was fully awake watching myself fall asleep. It's kind of hard to explain. Anyway, it was awsome.

Today was nice. I got some stuff done for me, no one asked for my help, and I got some relaxation and peace. This is a rare day. I checked everything off my list. And the website is 90%ish done. I just have some writing to do. I've noticed that I've been thinking about responsibility lately, and an old budist (I think) belief that I learned a while back. It's basically you're responsible for everthing I your life. For example, if I got struck by lightning, it's my falt. Why was I outside in a lightning storm? It's interesting to look at your life from this aspect. I've also noticed that I've been more present. I don't get lost in thinking about the past and future as much. It also has a cool side effect. I become more aware of everything. I think I'm going to call this active mode. I also have a reboot mode lol. That's just one of my fun little quarks. I name strange thing that happen to me. In reboot mode I enter a state where thoughts just go crazy, but I don't follow any of them. It's like all the files are suspended then they get filed. Sometimes the process takes weeks, and carrying on a conversation with me gets interesting. We can go from what's happening at work to riding dragons while wielding a battle axe made out of bunnies in a matter of seconds.I have noticed that since I've been doing meditation this happens less and the duration is shorter when it does. I guess that means when I'm not conscious that's pasive mode. I'm just being a robot doning what it's told. But, there is an upside to passive mode. If I'm doing something I really don't want to, I can enter into a dreamland and it doesn't seem to bother me as much. I use to do this alot, but alot of what I did sucked. It's not as bad anymore though.

Todat went good. I had some present moments, went by quickly. I really haven't been all here today though. I can't seem to hold on to a thought for too long. I kept getting lost in what I was doing. It was kind of like a blissful loss of compression. But, I managed to do what I needed and found some peace. I decided to not work on the site tonight. I can't seem to hold a thought long enough. I think it's from the lack of sleep I've been getting. I'm going to bed early tonight to see ifnit helps tomorrow. I've been trying to visualize instead of daydreaming. It's kind of difficult. I have to remember to do it. But, I've caught it several times today. It's kind of cool how your mind can pseudo predict the future on command. I watched anotjer vid in LPC today. It shed some light on things. I can't wait to watch the next one. Anyway, im turning in for the night.

Today started our great. I had an awsome dream that I think I'll turn into a comic or book. I wrote it down in the dream journal. Then I got up pretty early feeling well rested and refreshed. So I got in some meditation and visualization. After that I ate breakfast and got readybfor work. The dream was about me, but in a different space of reality. It was like a ghost realm, kind of. It's realy hard to explain honestly. I will have to just draw it out. Woo-Hoo drawing time. Anyway, in this realm there are creatures that influence reality. These creatures cause events both good and bad. My awsome duty was to slay the bad and help the good. There were other people there to help as well, but I won't go into that. I'm going to keep it pretty vauge so when I do get to make the comic there won't be any spoilers. Work went pretty good today as well. We stayed bussy enough to make time go by quickly, and I had some good thoughts also. It was more layed back today, we laughed and actually had a good work experience. After I got home I was welcomed with 3 packages. I got some books. I've already started 1 it's about online marketing. I'm going to start reading daily. I want to try to have 2 books going at once, but unfortunately I don't readily have the time. But, any thing is better than nothing for the time being. After I finish this I will meditate and then get back to working on the website. I've made some good changes, but now I have more to do. So I have set a launch date for next Sunday (at the latest). Then the marketing begins. I'm looking forward to that. I've already set up acounts on all of the major social media, and a few forums to get it kicked off. Oh, the LPC, I have been keeping up it. The upside is that most of the videos are relatively small. At least in the beginning. I haven't looked ahead. The videos are realy good too. But, that's enough about that. To wrap it all up, today was a good day. I think I will have to create more of them. Now I just have to figure out how.

24

Today was fast in the morning, then slow in the afternoon. I had a few interesting thoughts today. And I think I have made some steps in the right direction. Other than than today was pretty much uneventful. I have noticed a rather large problem. I don't have time even when I should. For instance, my last day off was used up helping my friend with a stereo. The one befor that was used up driving another one around. This comming one I'm building a sub box for someone. I really need to say no every now and again. It's been quite a while since I've actualy had time to stop and smell the roses. Honestly, it's getting old. But, I have dug myself into a rut, and all I can do is dig myself out, so to speak. It's kind of funny, I am a pretty laid back individual. I never realy get stressed, but lately I have been. I'm always having to worry about staying bussy, and doing pointless stuff for people who I'm not sure if they're actually a freind or just a leach. On top of that I have all the things I'm trying to do for myself. But, I digress. It's not something I can just snap away. I'll finish what I have started, and start being a little more selfish with my time. To end on a positive note. I got about goid chunk of the site built. I think I may push the launch back until Wednesday so I can do some refining. The landing page leaves a little to be desired, but I have the other pages looking quite sharp. I also have to make the logo still. That's a decent chunk of time right there. Oh, and meditation went really good last night. I have also beeb keeping up on the morning visualization as well.

Today went exactly how didn't want it to. I woke up late, and didn't get to watch the life purpose course this morning, but I did get in a morning meditation (always a good thing). Then I went over to help my friend with his car stereo. There are 3 basic cables that run it. A hot wire from the battery, an ignition switch wire, and a ground. The person who had the car befor him decided that ripping the hot wire out of the dash was a good idea. So we had to run a new one. It took about 4 hours to do, and I didn't get there until noon. Thaen ahe wanted to talk for an hour, which is ok, but my time was dwindling. Then I got home, and listened to 2 videos from the LPC while cleaning. And now I'm wore out. But, I still want to work on the website, so I made a new decision. I have thought about it for a while, and only 3 hours of work time for the night isn't enough, at least for the time being. So, I'm going to start limimting my sleep to 6 hours instead of 8. This will open up a couple hours to handle the imortant things that I need to. It will suck, but it's only temporary. At least until I can launch the site, but I still need to do the marketing. Also I will be posting here earlier so that I don't have to interupt my work. But, to end positive I have acomplished almost everthing on my list. And that stereo sounded great after I got it set up. And, I will be launching my site this week.

Today was honestly kind of boring. Everyone just seemed to stay in their own little place and not say a word to eachother. Which is ok, but it makes the day longer. I tried to do some walking meditation, but it's kind of hard to do with the radio on. Leaving was amazing though. Then, I had a friend show up outnof the blue just to through a monkey wrench in my plans. Those were his words. I feel like it was good that he did that though. All work and no play, and such. I have been under the radar lately doing all this stuff. Oh, I did do the visualization this morning. It didn't go as well as I wanted it to however. But that's what I get for doing it in the living room. So, onto tomorrows plan. I am going to watch the next video in the lige purpose course. Then, help my friend wire a stereo up. After that I will try to get the website launched. I think that sounds like a well rounded day. Ithink I'll do a little cleaning somewhere in there as well. I can't wait to get this website up, and start bringing in some money. After I make a few websites it should start going faster. Then I have a few bigger ideas that should bring in a decent income. I'm more looking forward to having time to myself instead of breaking my back for reletivly nothing. To end on a positive note, I last nights meditation was amazing. That burning sensation changed to a cool tingle and it covered both sides of my head, rather than just the right side. I went for about 1.5 hours without moving at all. I've been using a strange self made tecnique, where I releasin resistance. It helps with some of the little aches and pains that come along. It's hard to descibe how I do it. I'll try to do so in the near future.

It's realy quite simple. First build a page. Then find other pages in your nich and join them. Post stuf from your page on them and people will come. You don't want to post ads for your stuff though. It's a balance of fun stuff and ads.if you don't have alot of time you can use auto posting services to keep content flowing. After you build a following you can advertise things to them. You want to advertise flashy things to drive people to your site. For instance soild gold d20s for Dungeons and Dragons. That's realy all it takes. But, you also want to get study up on it as well. It is a dynamic environment.

@Abeo Maria The best I can gIve you is, what do you feel is the right answer? There realy is no right set in stone way to meditate. It all boils down to you. Sure, you'll see more results from the strong determination, but you can work up to that. To me it sounds like you're doing alot of awareness meditation, so if you want to spice things up you can try a focus tecnique when you're walking. All you do is focus on the pressure in your feet while you walk. Most of the time people do it in a little circle, but you can do it anywhere.

@Abeo Maria I did. I use to get angry about things that were stupid honestly. After about 3 weeks thay went away, and I just didn't care about them anymore. Everyone noticed that. Now, I'm always in a pretty good mood, and it's quite difficult to make me angry. @Phrae After you do the strong determination sitting for a while it gets quite nice. Your back gets used to it eventually. Lately, however ive been doing guided I am meditation. You notice the you that's actually perceiving. It's realy good.

Today was good. Even though we didn't have much to do time still went by quickly. My alergies were acting up in the morning, but they subsided after lunch. I had a strong feeling that I won't be doing this for much longer. It may have just been from the excitement of almost being ready to launch the site or, maybe something is going to happen that will cause me to lose this job. Either way I found solice in it. I do believe that we are capable of anticipating the future with amazing accuracy. That reminds of President Bush. Before the elections were even started I already knew he would be the president. We do have more than 5 sences. The 5 are basic and obvious. The others are things like balance, magnetism, and a few others and can't think of off the top of my head. I wonder if these can be incorporated into meditation to give you more awareness. I managevto do all tje things on my list for tonight. The site os coming along nicely, and I finaly got into google addwords and the amazon affilate program. It was a little backwards to me at first. I had to have the site to get the programs, but I needed the programs to make the site. So everthing is kind of half assed and now I have to refine it. But that won't be too difficult. I watched the intro to Leo's life purpose course. I wish I had more time to watch the next video, but Roam wasn't built in a day, and I can't do 8 things at once. The habit was hard, but easy. I kept asking myself what is the one going to be, and then the monkey chatter kicked in, but the answer was there like a wisper in a crowd. So, after cutting the chatter down I came to the realization that a visualization habit in the mornings is the best next step. As it is I only do it every now and then, but to get the good effects I need to do it daily. And hey more meditation can't hurt. That also means I need to start getting up a little earlier, and 20 minutes is no big deal. I thought a lot about my productivity today. Most of what I do at the shop is looking busy so I don't get my ass chewed. This lead me to one of those thinking in their head moments. If I was in his shoes how would I feel if the guy working for me is always just on standby? Why pay them for doing nothing? There's plenty for him to do. Then I looked at it from my perspective. I have everything done. Now I don't know what to do. Look for something. Shit, that didn't take long enough. My sweeping skills are too good, now what? And it goes back and forth and back and for, etc. I thought about how this situation could be resolved, and it would take understanding on both sides and some communication, which isn't going to happen. So, I'm left in the same spot doing the same shit over and over. Which is what it is. I also thought about the future, which is all that keeps me going honestly. In a few weeks I might be abe to quit, or at least be bringing in enough to handle some extra stuff. Then I can start some bigger things, which will get me out for sure. After that the my growth will increase exponentially. And eventually I'll have a firm grasp on how I want my life to be going. I already have a good foundation, now I'm building on it.

I do alot of reaserch on it too. I have always kind of looked forward to dying in a way. It's like the next big journey. I just want to make this one amazing so the next one is outstanding.

@DanoDMano Nope. I mean mix tapes. I do have mix ccd's though, alot of them. My mom had a simmilar experience when her mom died. They were fighting at the time, and she got a message to make amends before it was too late. She did, and then my grandma dided. It's a shame I never got to meet her.

Today was my day off, and I finally got to relax a little bit. I meditated this morning, which is realy nice. It seems to linger on throughout the day. I played a video game for the first time in about 2 months, and got to see a couple friends. I made alot of progress on the website, and all I need to do now is add a few articles. Then I'll start the marketing. I noticed that I don't smoke if I'm playing a video game. I wander if it's one adiction overpowering another or if it's just that I don't respond to the urge. I'll have to do some research on that. I really don't have much to talk about today, and after reading a few other peoples posts I thought I should share some of my goals. Que the bullet list! Meditate everyday, no matter what, for ever Turn my keg into a six pack, and stay healthy Learn many martial atrs, and sword fighting Become financialy independent Actually get out and meet some women Enlightenment Have some amazing adventures Become an amazing artist Learn how to dance Be an inspiration to people Die knowing I won at life......lol There is a few of I didn't put on here. Some more shallow ones, like own a ferari, those may change as I progress. I think I'll start putting down some things I want to do the next day as well. So, tomorrow I want to finish the website, start Leo's lif purpose course, and figure out the next habit I want to develope. I'll also write these on a calendar so I don't forget.

Mix tapes are awsome though, and I guess I shouldn't mention the vynals I have either. Lol

Today was slow so I had time to think about things, and build up my mastery of sweeping( I am now at level 98). I had a few moments of clairity, which are always nice, and the head thing again. Time felt like it was ticking backwards sometimes. I started the list thing, and this was fist on the list, so I could dedicated time to other things. It was so quiet today I thought I heard a mouse fart in timbuktu. We had another earthquake today, and I finaly noticed it happening. Sometimes I feel like a slave. People point and tell me what to do and I do it. I don't like that one bit. But, I never voice my opinion. Even if I do I usually get yelled at, or laughed at (that realy sucks). Nothing says you're a morron like giving your best idea and being laughed at. But, inside I now it would work. And, I'm somewhat vengeful. So, the person who tells me I can't do something will find out that I will do it just to prove them wrong. That seems kind of dark now that I think about it. And that rwminds me of another wierd thing about me. There have been moment in my life were I should have felt proud. Winning art competitions, graduating high school and then college and so on. But, I've never realy felt proud. People say they are proud of me for this or that, but I never see why. Maybe, I don't realy see them as acomplishments. It's more like I was told to do it and did. The things that I do feel proud of, no one cares about. This has lead me to see that in the end people really only care about themselves. Which is fine I don't harbor anger or resentment for these thing because I get it, we are all the star of our own story, which is kind of liberating ounce you wrap your head around it.

I lived in oklahoma city for a few years. One good place and 4 horrible ones. I got held up once for a walkman. I completely unerstand the cesspool part of that. That's awsome you made so much off cupons. And I still have a vhs player and a ton of movies. When all of the rental stores closed down that was the time to get them. And we did.

Today was strange. It was oddly quiet while still being loud ass hell. We didn't have much to do in the shop, so I got in alot of broom thinking, until I had to go to the land fill ( I smelled garbage for hours after that). I actually managed to enter meditative state while sweeping. My forhead had that strange burning sensation again, and I still kind of feel it. Oh, last nights meditation went amazingly. I think that might be why it was "quiet" today, and why I managed to enter that state. But, it left me with a bunch of questions. Questions I'm sure alot of people here have, have had, and will have. I don't think I'm ready for enlightenment work, but I feel like I may need to start. I don't know. I don't even know if there is book or anything that will help me know. I feel as though some reserch is needed, or more questioning myself. I've made it this far without doing any serious questioning of myself, well in a sense. I question myself all the time, but not the right questions if that makes sense. I have noticed that I am noticing more things like my periferal vision, and the little sensations in my body, also little flickers in my vision. It's kind of like microsecond black outs, but it only happens in the morning when I'm still waking up. I keep wondering what that forhead sensation is, it's not a familiar sensation, but I have had others like it. Like on the back of my head I would feel tingling like my hair standing up, but it never was. Perhaps I should start doing self inquiry or something like that. Sometimes I feel a little discouraged because this isn't like most things I do. Usualy I have directions or a guide, but I have no road map for my head. I know something is happening, but I don't know what it is. And, the worst part is it feels like it just barely out of my reach, but that's something that drives me to reach for whatever it is. Leo talks about the ego, and the true self and emotions, and on a serface level I get it, but deep down I realy have no clue whats going on. Sometimes it feels like I have been in a coma for the past 15 years, or like everyone knows what's going on and I just got left out of the loop. Emotionaly I am lost. I watched leos video for unstanding your emotions and I didn't even meet the minimum of what he was talking about. Hell, at one point I questioned whether or not I had emotions at all. Then I remembered the time I was happy. Not exited, truely happy. Maybe it was at peace, I don't know. I've always just bottled them up because part of felt like it was a sign of weakness, and the other part didn't want to have to deal with them. They say you can't control your emotions, but not having them seems to be like control. Maybe, when my dad left it left me numb. But, I won't know until I open the bottle (that'll be interesting). I think I'm going to tie a sring to my wrist to remind me to stop and identify whatever is going on emotionaly. I'll catalog these in my handy dandy work journal that is useless at this job. But on less unknowing note. I accidentally scared an old lady today. I listen to super heavy metal, and I smoke. I was in my car listening to Emure and smoking with the widow down, because that's relaxing to me, and I lookd at the people next to me. The look of pure horror on this womans face was kind of funny to me. It just reminded me of you can't judge a book by its cover, and how society and culture engrain themselves on you psyke, as well as a few other things. And then I remembered this on time I was driving with my hipster friend somewhere while we were listening to Hank the third. A hipster and a metal head listening to country. Lol Onto the end of today. I have a wide variety of skills as I'm sure most people have, and the particular skill I'm talking about here is audio engineering. Basically, I'm making a couple sub boxxes for a guy. So, I went to his house and got the dimensions for the second box. It's going to be in house. Then, I went to ace for a router (wood cutting kind). After I finally made it home I got the land fill off of me and ate. Then, I had to go back to ace for florecent light bulbs (the big ones that break easy). It was about 8:30 when I finaly got back and what did I do. Not work on the website I've been trying to get to. Ive come to the conclusion that I may have to wait until Sunday. Then, I'll have plenty of time to get it handled. After I get home from work it feels like I have a lot to do, but I can never seem to figure out what it is that I need to be doing. I think im going to start doing a daily planner (again). It might help me cut through the hazyness after work. It almost seems like the drive home puts me in a different state of mind. I get all dazed and confused. Maybe my job is wearing me out more than I think it is.

Speand 3 years in the mountains of Alaska, using only your primal instincts to keep you alive. Then, kill a bear with your bare hands and were its hide as a cape. I hear that if you stick your hand down its throat that it can work. Then chew on bark as a snack. Develope a keen sense of smell, so you can detect danger from yards away. Build up enough strength to be able to pull a large tree out of the ground (routs and all). And that is how you become the manliest man to ever live. But, all of this is from a natural selection perspective. It takes more than that to be a real man. You'll need to be wise and have control over your emotions, as much as possible anyway. You need to know how women work, in a sense. You have to develope higher values and principles, and live by them. Become more confident. The bear helps, but it's mostly flashy.

@DanoDMano It's a person who teaches them selves. No teacher required. That's it. Everyone has this ability. It just varies from person to person. I'm highly autodidactic. That's why I studie subjects on my own, And conduct reaserch almost religiously. What's funny is that this word know one knows also has a synonym; Polyhistor.

Today was long and rough. I wound up helping my boss do alot of stuff at his place. I didn't get out of there until 6pm. Then I had to get gas and dinner for tonight. ( it's about 30 miles from my bosses place to town) Needless to say I haven't had the chance to work on the website. But, I got my brother in law to pick up a new bed for me. I won't have to worry about faling out of my bed tonight, and maybe my back won't hurt tomorrow. The old one was a hand me down. I have been working on being more forgiving to myself. I aproach things that I do with more undsting. I can be pretty hard on myself. This doesn't ever get me anwhere. For example, I should be working on my website, but I'm writing this post instead. Instead of beating myself up, I take a different approach. I see how I busted my ass all day and, how much mental effort I put into everything I did. Then I notice how everything has been real fuzzy all day, and I let it slide. Don't get me wrong I am still stern with my self, but I have to take some time to just let go and relax. Thst actually brought me back to somthing I noticed when I was young. I remember how things were crystal clear and super vivid back then. Then I remember how it shifted to a hazy blur over the years. It was subtle, but I noticed it. Now things are moving back toward the clear side. I think this has to do with awareness and consciousness. When I was younger I may have been more aware and conscious. Then, as societies conditioning took hold I lost some. Now I'm building them back and the cliarity is coming back.

Name: Jeremy Collins Age: 24 Gender: Male Location: Oklahoma, USA Occupation: Yard hand for a rental company Marital Status: Single Kids: Nope Hobbies: Personal development, Many forms of art, meditation, learning as much as possible About 6 years ago I had a strange hunger for knowlege. This lead me to college, which didn't fill the hole. Then I started studying things that realy interested me on my own, this finaly filled the void. It's kind of funny before I jumped into PD I was studying quantum physics. I get the basics, but the more advanced stuff gets hairy. Anyway, I started about 2 years ago "officially", but that initial hunger for knowledge could be considered the turning point. Personal challenges I've overcome: I have dealt withsome mild anger issues Overcome procrastination Become more organized internaly and externally I actually started dating (I thought I was going to die a hermit. lol) I am eating healthier, and exercising I've started meditating and haven't missed a day since I started (5 months) What I'm working on now: Financial independence Kicking some bad habits Getting out more Studying 2 subjects Finding my life purpose Picking what I want to master first