T1r1on

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  1. Today was odd. It was a slow day, but it moved by quite quickly. It kind of feels like a blur. I thought about a lot of stuff. Things like the direction of humanity, and the fact that we're all on a giant bio space ship. And, how there's an infinite amount of space in any direction I go. At fist I kind of felt scared, but now that I have mowed it over more, I feel comfortable with it. Couple that my frequent thoughts about how god thinks, and then trying to understand myself. It's alot to take in. Now that I'm comfortable with the space thing, it kind of puts this wierd motivation in me. Universe juice, lol. I am 1 video away from finishing the values section of the LPC. I'll refine them a few times after I finsh the section, just to make sure I have it right. I don't want a half-assed list. It's kind of important. Meditation has been kind of meh the past few weeks. Maybe it's from doing too many guided meditations. The past couple nights I've been doing my own thing like I used to. I just wish I had more time in the day to do more things I want to. I've thought alot about money and my financial situation lately. I bust my ass to make crap money for what? A car, a house, food, random crap that I don't need any way. It's all just stuff. Why do we put so much stock in junk? The things that realy make us happy and fulfilled can't be bought, so why do we feel the need to work towards something so pointless? This has lead me to the thought of just outright quitting and doing what I want to do. If I don't make any money then so be it. I've come to see this game for what it is, and it's stupid. I'm tired of selling myself to someone who realy doesn't give two shits about my wellbeing. It's not worth it. I'm going to end this here. I still have to meditate.
  2. Not much happened today. I played a video game for a little while. Then I worked on my youtube channel. No huge thoughts except for ideas on the channel. I am going to meditate after I finish this then it's off to bed.
  3. Today was ok. It was skow at work, but I got off a little early. My boss decided to spread the 2 hours across the week. I wrote a script today, so that's good. Tomorrow I'll do some recording, or practice. I've never filmed myself. I'm almost done with the values part of the LPC. All that's left for today is to meditate. I've been thinking about my meditation process throughout the day. It just slips in my head from timr to time. It makes me aware of my breathing and I just listen to whatever my ears want to hear. The downside is that country music seems to be the only thing they want to hear (lol). I've been thinking about the internet world vs the real world. I want this channel I'm doing to go past just the internet. I want it to affect reality tangibly. But, I don't know how yet. I'll figure it our eventually. Chances arw that it'll be something obvious, and I'll be lik why didn't I think of that sooner.
  4. Today sucked. I had to stay late to help cut some wood and it took 2 hours. So, I didn't have time to do anything really. By the time I ate and took a shower it was 8. I did the LPC though. I'm almost done with the values section. My boss said he would let me off early tomorrow, so I'll work on the chanel then. I haven't been talking about anything the past few days. So, I'll mention some of things I've been doing and some thoughts. I've been listening to motivational vieos every morning for the past few days. They help get me up and going. I found a new guided meditation which really works. It's by Allan Watts. I think that's how it's spelled. He explains everything really clear, and I actually get what he means. I've been thinking about a quote the past few days. You can't judge a fish by its ability to climb. I feel like the fish at my job. I'm not a mechanic, I'm an artist amongst other things. But, I'm stuck there until I can start bringing in money some other way. And, looking for a new job is not going to work. There isn't much left in this dried up little town. I've also been thinking about how simple things are. I already know how to treat myself, so why don't I? Eat healthy, exercise, meditate, and do what makes me happy. Those aren't that hard to figure out or do. So, why is everything all backwards? The last thought that has been prevalent is Bruce Lee's quote. I do not fear the man that has practiced 10000 kicks. I fear the man that has practiced 1 kick 10000 times. I guess my thoughts are telling me it's time to pick something to master. I'll be doing that in the LPC, so nice timing thoughts.
  5. Yesterday I made it about half way through the values pary of the LPC. I learned a lot about my self. Nothing really notable happened other than that. Today I slacked off. I played a game for a while then I went over to my buddies to have a bbq. I just got back at 9. I was going to start recording on the chanel, but I was being lazy, and the bbq started at 4. I'll work on the LPC and meditate after I finish this. I'll try to do some recording tomorrow.
  6. Today went ok. Work was work, with a dash of drama today. The people at home are butting heads, but they do it subtle and passive agressively. So I'm stuck in between that crap. But, I haven't let anything get to me today. I had a healthy dinner, and then worked on the LPC the rest of the night. I'm going to make this a short post, I still need to meditate and it's almost midnight here. I'll talk some more about today, tomorrow.
  7. I'm sick. I don't know what I have, but it sucks. I'm not going to get into symptoms. But, I still went to work and have actualy been fairly productive. My morning started early, then I went back to sleep for an hour. After I woke back up, I listened to a motivational speech, this got me going. Then periodically throughout the day I have listened to more. Now that I'm home I've nocked out the next piece of the LPC, and I am writing this early. After I eat I will meditate. I've been pretty run down the past few days, and I've been crashing during meditation. After that I will set up my lighting for the chanel, and that's what I'll be focusing on for a good chunk of time. Listening to the motivational stuff has gotten me to start thinking more out of the box. I feel fearless. I might even do something drastic soon. This feeling has been building the past few weeks, and the motivation stuff just put fire to the coals. I've decided that I want to try a deprivation tank. I have no clue where to start, but I'm not going let this little aspiration go. I'll do some research, I haven't had a chance to yet honestly. Hopefully I get over this crap soon. Wait "hope" is a for people that never do what they want in life. Faith is for people who are going to achieve greatness. I have faith that this will pass soon. Sometimes your outlook can make a huge difference.
  8. Today was good. Work went fine. When I got home I busted out some things I needed to do. The website is up and running. I'll be adding additional content periodically. The green screen thing is functional, shoty, but functional. And, I got down the first part of the values section of the LPC. Getting them was somewhat difficult. I have been applying the stratigic planning. I'm spotty with it, but practice makes perfect. It helps keep me from doing pointless things like playing a video game at the wrong time. I have ran out of concepts to get me going in the morning. So, I have decided to listen to motivational speeches to start off my day. I think this will work better anyway. Getting that kind of boost right off the bat may just start pushing me in the right direction. Or at least make it to work without driving into the sunrise (lol). The kid I work with is starting to get into PD. I've been talking to him about some of the concepts I have learned, and he gets really interested. So, I told him about actualized.org and he might just check it out. I'm not totally sure, but hey if my little bit of influence helps him start that'll make me feel amazing.
  9. @Lha Bho I have the feeling we're Into the same things.
  10. @Lha Bho you should watch It. He is really funny.
  11. Motivation achieved!!!! Let us go slay dragons and such!
  12. Today went quite well. I got up fairly early. And then I went and got the stuff to make the green screen thing. It rols it up for me. It's a very make shift device, but it's functional. I got that logo all the way finished, and my website only lacks 1 page now. After that it's all marketing. I made it through the concepts of the LPC today. Now I'm digging into the meat of the course. My note book is starting to fill up rather quickly. I'll probably use another one for the actual process. I am wore out today. Between the working, and learning I've exausted myself. I'm actually having a hard time keeping my eyes open right now.meditation is going to be difficult tonight. Tomorrow I'll probably be working out at my bosses house again. So, I'll be getting a worse sun burn. After work I'll I'll do some more on the website, and work on the LPC. As soon as I wrap up the site I'll move on to the chanel.
  13. Today was another ok day. I worked at my bosses house again, and got more sunburned plus some wind buurn. I came home and took a shower, then ate and went to Walmart to pick some groceries. When I got home I sat down to start reading and fell asleep. So not a very productive day. But, I did keep in mind about being more stratigic. And I had a really good conversation with the guy I was working with. I have to start at square one for my plans. I realy don't know what I'm doing. So, I have to figure that out. Leo's life purpose course is a good start, but I'm going to need to find more sources and become super informed about the whole subject. Woo-Hoo reaserch (literally). Our conversation kind of went all over the place. We talked about personal development and the state of the country and our religious beliefs, and so on. It helped make the day go by faster. Honestly, I would rather work on his lawn than be stuck doing nothing at the shop. Only because it was just me and the other guy. Maybe there is a clue in here somewhere.
  14. Today was ok. My boss sent me and his son to his house to do some lawn work. I got a sun burn. After I got home I played a game for a little bit. I was waiting for dinner to get done. I seem to be procrastinating on some things. But, boy am happy I did this time. I watched leos new video about being a strategic mother fucker. This gave me so much insight as to why I haven't achieved the things I want. When you combine that with knowing what you want and why, it gets realy powerful. The next few weeks or months are going to be full of me applying this to my life. I've been feeling like I'm blindly doing personal development with no real goal in place. That's another thing I'll be changing. I have never really set goals for myself. These are the most important things I can do right now, so I'm committing to changing them. Alot of my thoughts have been about my youtube channel. I keep thinking about how I will really get to express myself, no holding back. This gives me a huge boost in my mood when I think about it. I don't get to be me all the time. I have to hold back so people don't think I'm crazy. Really being the raw unedited me is something that I have always wanted. Maybe, by holding back, I have sent the wrong message to people, and this is why they think I'm crazy. I won't know until I do it.
  15. Today was good. I work on the website this morning. Then I read for about 2 hours. I didn't set up the green screen though. I need a few things and I'm broke. So, I played a game for a while. I could have worked on the website more, but I was feeling lazy. I've started noticing when I justify things in my head. Like today when I played the game. I know it's not going to get me anywhere, but I justified it saying that I need to rest for tomorrow. I've done more with less honestly. Speeking of rest, my sleep has been crap the last week or so. I wake up in the middle of the night, or I don't actually fall asleep. It's starting to take its toal. Hopefully it passes soon. Or I'll be using a day off to catch some z's. I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'll probably work on the site, or read something. I could do both. Who knows, maybe I'll join the circus (lol).
  16. Today was good. Long, but good. I worked which was quite boring, and it reminded me of some concepts I have learned. Then I went over to a friends house and we lost track of time. There wasn't much to today. The concept I remembered was using bordem to proplel your self. When your bored you find ways to occupy your time, and if you put some thought into what you're doing. You may find something amazing. Tomorrow I'm going to work on the site and set up my green screen. I also want to read a book tomorrow. I may do it between projects. That'll alow me time to get everything done.
  17. Today was nice. It was just me at the shop so it was quiet. I don't listen to the radio when I'm alone. This allowed me to think. It was mostly monkey chatter, but there was a few good thoughts. I had some thoughts about society. Why do people put labels on themselves? I know even I do this, but why do people go out of their way? It's like they turn themselves into a sterotype. What would it be like if everyone was a blank slate? And, I dwelled on these thoughts on and off as thebday went on. After work I took my mom out to dinner and we went to see a movie. She doesn't get out of the house much so when I can I take her to do whatever she wants. I get kind of pissed off at myself for her situation. She gave me everything I needed to grow into the person I am now, but when she needs me I can't help her. Her knees are gone and she has maybe cancer on her nose and her shoulders are messed up. She needs medical help, but she has no insurance, she can't get disability because government, and I don't have the kind of money it's going to take. The only way I see to get this situation handled is to become as rich as humanly possible, as fast as possible. But hey, acording to the government she'll be healed in a year. Everyone knows cancer cures itself, and cartilage grows back on it's own. That's stupidity at its finest. When I went through Tia Lopez's 67 steps he had this huge speel about finding a metor as fast as possible. His course is designed more for a rich comfortable life that's mostly external rewards. I got some really good info out of his course. But, again most of it was external. Anyway, I thought about what kind of mentor I would want. It would have to be a very special type of person. No Obi-Wan for me it's gotta be Yoda. The issue I'm going to have is finding this individual. I had another weird thought, or realization. I'm not here to make tons of money and die. I have a bigger destiny than that. Or at least that's how I feel when I think macro. It's more than a feeling though. I feel it in every fiber of my being. When I tap this feeling I can acomplish alot of stuff. Maybe this is why I'm highly self motivated, or at least I'm told that I am. But like all tools, it's only useful if you use it. It also helps if you remember that you have it. I go through phases of remembering huge concepts that I had when I was young. The more I remember the more can utilize. When I was little I had no friends, so I thought about huge stuff to fill the void so to speak. That was a double edge sword and now I'm dealing with the consequences of that. But, I'm making my way through it. It's like fusing two people together. It's kind of funny how after I accepted loneliness everyone wanted to be my friend. But, post has gone on lomg enough, good night.
  18. Today was meh. Work was work. I haven't felt too well today. I really haven't had any notable thoughts either. I watched a few more videos in the LPC. They were enlightening. And I only have a few of the concepts left to go. Then I can dig into the meat of the course. I haven't been sleeping well the past few nights. I either can't fall asleep or I fall asleep, but it's a wierd pseudo sleep where I'm half conscious. It's really strange. I think I'm going to do some research to see if I can't figure out the problem. I decided I am going to remake the website again this weekend. I lack the will power to do it after work. Honestly, I have a hard time moving after work, and my brain just flat lines. It's an interesting state. I need to get up to get something and by the time I motivate myself to move I forget what I was doing. That may be why these posts seem to jump around alot.
  19. Today was good then it sucked. I've been building the website and today I tested it to see if it works. It didn't. So I went back and forth trying to figure out why. The problem was a typo in my domain name on my host site. So I contacted them to see if I could change it and not loose my progress. They said I wouldn't, but they obviously didn't know because now im starting over. So, after that I haven't touched it. I'm too pissed off. I'll change all my plans for the week and get this handled. This has taken way too long. My morning started outnicely. I woke up got ready and went out for breakfast. Then I went the little lake we have in town and just stood there. After a little while of that I went home and posted the last post here. Then I worked on that damn website. I got the green screen in today. It was way sooner than I expected. Now I have to push that back to finish the website and set up for recording. I could taste it I thought I was so close. But, I guess that's ok. I can brain storm more ideas now, and do more research on filming. More knowledge never hurts. Speaking of knowledge, I had a rather interesting conversation with someone I know the other day. He asked me what I was doing and I said thinking. He then replied you need to stop that, you'll get yourself or someone hurt. My first thought was, where the fuck did this concept come from. There has never been a single person hurt from a thought. It's an intgible flicker of activity in your head. Second, why is there this mantality of stupidity being cool? I don't care if people get "offended", there are stupid questions and stupid answers. But, why is this the norm? Then I felt a little bad for him. He has been told this his entire life, and somewhere in his head he believes it. Other than that today has been pretty uneventful. I hope tomorrow goes a lot better.
  20. So, yesterday was interesting. Work took forever, but it rained and people don't like working in the rain. My friend is moving to Texas so I figured we sould hang out before he leaves. That means I didn't get anything done yesterday. I was really tired yesterday. I've been loosing sleep for some reson lately. I think that after I work on some stuff today, I will take a nap. Maybe that will help get my sleep cycle back in order. I get angry easier when I'm tired, and if I'm super tired I giggly and loopy (lol). That's kind of a stark contrast. I caught myself in a few negative thought spirals yesterday. They can be really hard to break out of. But, I managed. Today I'm going to wrap up the website and a logo I'm making for someone. That'll take tose off my plate and open up more time for my chanel and other constructive things.
  21. Today was long. I have a friend moving away, so we hung out till 1 am. I'll write what happened today tomorrow.
  22. Today went really well. Work was work, but I learned some really valuable things. I got everything on my list checked off. And, I had some awsome ideas for my youtube channel. To top it off I've been super excited all day. I got that taste of something amazing about to happen. I watched like 4 videos from Leo today. 3 LPC and the new one. They all gave me some really good insights, and meshed with some other stuff I've learned. I don't compare myself to other much though. I have a pretty good idea for my routine. I've noticed that depending on how I do my morning routine my day takes a drastic shift. For example, if I wake up and rush around to get ready, missing alot of steps, I have a meh day. But, if I wake up and put on a video of something constructive my day goes consderably better. If I compound this with my excitement from the chanel, I should have some amazing days ahead of me. I like to keep up with what's going on in our solar system. Just in case there's an asteroid heading at us, which there is. And I have come to realize that astrology is pretty cool. There is alot we don't know about our little piece of the galaxy, and that fascinates me. Oh, that asteroid might, might not hit us. It's like 300 times the size of the one that went over Russia not to long ago. I had a shit load of ideas for the chanel today. Now I want to start fleshing them out. I took today to learn. Tomorrow I will create. I like how that sounds Anyway, I've got to do some practice. I still don't know if I'll need a script or if I wing it. But, that's just my first little hurdle. I also have to create new art just for the concepts I'm talking about. This is going to push my comfort zone and get back in rythm of creating art. Things are taking a new turn for me.
  23. Financial independence takes some time in most cases. Just keep in mind the more time spend on it the faster it goes. There is tons of information on making money on the Internet. My recommendation is to do alot of research to find what you want to do. There is a guy on youtube that talks alot about making money online, if that's the route you want to take. He's a little bit of a hard ass, but the info is good. He goes by king human. There are tons of online courses you can take as well. Just watch out for scams. The university of click bank will teach you alot of things about online marketing. And, udemy has short couses to learn new skills, and some of them are free. The point, I guess, is have more than just one source for what you're reaserching. You'll also want to keep in mind that it takes money to make money. There are very few ways to make money for free. And, the free ways usually take alot of time. But, again you'll have to reaserch to find the path that best fits you. Hope this was helpful.

  24. Mix Of Issues

    T1r1on replied to Xefaxxx's topic in Dating, Sexuality, Relationships, Family

    Why can't you accept your scar? Beauty is only skin deep, and is itself an adiction. You have alot to overcome, but take it in baby steps. I see atot of people try to take on to much, to fast. Start with the biggest issue, stick to one thing for 2 to 3 months. (That helps you form a habit) So far as your scar goes, to me it's a permanent badge of honor, and lessons. But, that's just my opinion. As humans our lives are full of adversity, and scars show that we overcame the challenge. I don't know your story, but sometimes you just need to change your perspective a little.
  25. Today was ok. It was nice and peaceful. I worked on the youtube channel like I said I would. And I cleaned my car. It took a little while. Most of my day consisted of me doing prep work, then my sister asked me to help her do some stuff. I didn't work on the website like I had planned. I'll do it tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to watch some more of the LPC and meditate. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm doing for the chanel. I had the idea a while back, and then I just didn't follow through. I gat stuck in a cycle of bs. Now, I have things lined up better. And, I changed some things I'm doing with it. I can't wait to start. I talked to my mom today. She asked me who I listen to for my PD. Then we talked about some of the stuff I've been doing. It was nice to tell someone what I'm doing and how it's going. I actually got some good insights from the conversation. And she gets what I'm talking about to a certain extent. I think it's kind of funny that we have ranks and stuff in the forum. To me it's like a video game. Rank up and level up as fast as possible. This can be a two edged sword though. If you like a challenge, like most gamers do, you be sucked into rising up the ranks. This will keep you here instead of doing whatever. I haven't ever cared for being the highest ranked, or anything. I like games for the story. It always seemed like a waste of time to make it to the top of an intangible thing. If the power goes out I have acomplished nothing. I haven't watched tv in a long time. If there's a movie or something I want to see I just wait till it's cheap to watch. What's really funny is now I've noticed that I get sucked in reletivly easy. For example, when my nieces are watching kids shows I get sucked in. It's almost like tv hypnotises you. The same thing can happen with video games. There is never a good stopping point, just save and quit. Tomorrow I have work. Then I'll work on the website. I'll come up with more ideas for the chanel most likely. I also have a logo to finish, that won't take long though. It should be an interesting day or not, who knows.