Sine

Oh and the pictures! My fridge is not pretty anymore because I ate so much and messed it up, but it is still full of good things! In the boxes I have lemons and rucola-salad. In the bags chopped cabage- The wine and the chill sauce I will of course let be until I've past day 29 haha! The other picture is of my salad today (the first one at work) I thought it looked kind of pretty because of all the green color.

03-04-2018 DAY 3! This day has been easier than yesterday I think. My hunger hasn't been so extreme, even though I was hungry for some time, in the afternoon. But the was mostly because I had lost my appetite, and didn't felt like eating another salad - I did it anyway though. A big salad with all kinds of leafs, spinach, cabbage and orange, avocado and green asparagus. This made it up for dinner. I felt full for some time but now I have just ate an apple with the last of the licorice-dates, and maybe I will also eat a banana before I go to sleep. When I woke up I felt pain in my stomach like menstruation cramps, even though it is not this time of the month. I have heard people have had all kinds of symptoms and reactions to the cleanse, so I think everything is as it should be. I woke upon late because I spend most of the night sexting with my ex-boyfriend. The stupidest thing. I woke up so late that I couldn't meditate before I had to leave for work - I will have to do it now before bed! Also, I should remember to take my vitamins (Vitamins and supplements are a part of the cleanse, the book explains all about that) Even though I only had 40 minutes in the morning, I drank water with lemon juice as the first thing. Tomorrow I will try to make juice of celery and water in my blender. Celery Juice should be very good for the stomach. I didn't feel hungry at all. Almost too full actually. Anyway I made a smoothie of bananas, blueberries, celery, spinach and orange witch I brought with me to work, and drank before noon. I am very lucky to be alone most of the time at work, so around noon I had time and peace to make a big salad, which I actually enjoyed. It had avocado, spinach, asparagus, tomatoes and cucumber in it. In the afternoon I ate an apple and banana, but later wished I had brought another more with me. When I got home I felt very tired and out of spirit, I thought that if I was to see another salad, I would die. So I made a light smoothie out of frozen raspberries and bananas - this was the most delicious thing ever! I mixed it with a bit of hamp-protein powder I got from a friend of mine. This gave me the strength to make, for the sake of Gura, another Salad... This I ate out of need and not out of want! - I described it's content above. So this was day 3. Not too bad. I need to be aware of my emotions though. I have felt happy and spirited most of these past days, but I can feel the black hole is just under the surface. I am a bit stressed, because I have a lot of projects going on, and all kinds of things I want to do. But I guess you can be too inspired. It is important that I am aware of the now, and concentrate on being here in the present, even though I have big dreams. It will be good to meditate before sleep. I should not sleep to late. No ex-boyfriends.. Maybe I should go for a run tomorrow. I hope some of you are reading all of this, no matter what, I feels good to share. Hugs, Sine

02-04-2018 DAY TWO! So because of all the easter, today is actually my day one I think. If I survive so far I will go on till day 29! My day started with a big glass of cold water mixed with lemonjuice. This was a very easy and small thing to do, taking into considerations how great it made my morning. it was a nice way to wake up, and made me feel very fresh and good. Shortly after the drink, I ate a big bowl of spinach which my mother had put in the blender together with tomatoes, celery, garlic and some oranges. This made it up for some kind of cold soup. (Luckily I was still with my family this morning, so we could enjoy our cleanse-breakfast together!) The Soup didn't taste like something really awesome, but it was eatable, and while eating it extremely slowly I read in the book about all the healing powers of spinach, which helped me to eat it all up. I read that spinach is good for cleaning up you intestines, and I guess that was true, because without going into further details.. I have been going to the toilet a lot today.. Some time after breakfast I was extremely hungry! Even though I supported the spinach soup with a glass of blueberry-banana smoothie, it was like my stomach was one big black hole! I kept eating bananas and apples, and this helped a bit, but I wasn't until I got home to my own place, and mixed some licorice-root powder with a handfull of dades, and ate it as a dip for some apple slices that I felt full. Then it was clear to me that it wasn't a matter of the amount I ate, and how full I technically was, but more a matter of how comforting the food has been. In some way I must have craved the sweet taste. This was a good insight about how my emotional state affects my body. For dinner I ate out at a raw-food restaurant, to celebrate the first day, haha. I had a BIG salat with all kinds of greens. It was so tasty. They had put a little bit of chickpeas and beans in it, but I decided that I was going for an easy start, and enjoyed the whole thing. Now I am off for bed, and thought that I would eat a banana before I'm going to sleep, but actually I feel really full, so I'll safe it for tomorrow. I bought a lot of food today - vegetables and fruits of course. My refrigerator looks amazing! beautiful I could almost say... Will share a picture tomorrow. Hugs, Sine

This is so cool! Please go to Copenhagen someday! Or at least Scandinavia.. Though I might also consider travelling to USA just to see you haha, It would be so awesome! - also just to meet all the other people who listen to you.

Maybe when you start School again, you will get friends and meet people your age that could also be motivation to start

Maybe you can find the answer if you reflect back to when you started College. What kind of dreams did you have back then and Why did you choose to study subject like this. Was your Dream to someday get a high degree?

It's nice to see you all. I don't know why.. I guess I had wondered sometimes what you all looked like!

I know this feeling so well. I really hate those 9-17 jobs too! it takes all your time and makes you depressed. I respect those people who can do it, still keep there insanity and make time to work on their goals and dreams . First of all I think you should figure out what your dream career is or what you really wanna do in life. If you really just wanna meditate and learn stuff about self actualization, you need something where you can get enough money to live, but still don't use up all your time. For myself I use most of my strength and time doing art and doing self development work, therefore I also need my own time, and I maybe have had some jobs that could inspire you.. I am introverted an don't like stressfull jobs or jobs with a lot of noise or people watching my every move. I have had jobs like cleaning - it' doesn't pay well, but if it is at some peoples private home you can usually be finished on maybe 1-2 hours even though you are hired for the double time. And that can be really useful. Also you can see the time your cleaning as free workout + you can listen to leos videos or audiobooks while cleaning. It is also cool to get a glimpse of the life of rich people who has a totally different view on life than yourself. Also I worked for a year as a private caretaker for 1 year-old girl. That job was really great because she slept for two-three hours in the middle of the day, and in those ours I meditated, watched Leos videos or wrote (I also write plays as a part of my art-dream) Taking care of a child is really a good experience and it teaches you a lot about yourself.I think maybe that job was my best one, because I really developed a relationship with the baby. She made me feel a lot of different feelings, and it was hard work (when she was awake) but we had many great days and experiences out in nature and I took her to baby-music class. She was so scared in the beginning but I kept on taking her, and she enden up liking it a lot - that feeling of seeing her develop from shy and anxious to becoming brave and happy.. That was really amazing. So that job ended up being a part of my self-development work I think. After and during that job I actually also tried sexwork. That can be a really quick way to make a lot of money. You can work for maybe one or two hours every other day and easily make enough money to live. This I would only recommend to people who really have their mind set on a goal, and are at peace with themselves though. It is really hard work and I had to quit because it started to have a negative impact on my personal life, but everyone is different and some people can handle it. I used the money I made on a half year long acting course - It can be a good job for a period in your life where you really need money, but need your own time to work on your dreams at the same time. At last I started at the university, but that is because I am so lucky that my country give people money to study, so I think I might just stay there a bit until I hopefully will get accepted into the school of performing arts. So well, that is maybe some inspiration Good luck!

I use different guided meditations around every other day, but I try to be aware of the times i do it because I don’t feel I can handle the all-alone space - then I don’t use the guide and do it on my own instead to confront the feeling. But I think guides can be a great tool sometimes.

I think that the titles aren't really useful, because maybe someone who doesn't post that much and maybe one day post something really smart - people will think " oh he is just a spider monkey" but maybe he just has a low rank because he used all he's time meditating instead of posting stuff... Maybe it would be better if the upvotes and titles didn't exist so people would think for themselves - on the other hand, I can see the usefulness of upvotes. Not the titles though.

this video really changed alot for me

Leo posted a picture of a mouse and a snake on his blog. First the snake wants to eat the mouse and the mouse is scared, but then they both change their minds and have some sort of carresing-moment. I have been looking at that picture for a long time now and seriously.. I just don’t get it. Why has Leo called it true love? I really want to understand - can someone please explane it to me. Thank you..

omg so true! Dealing with 8 a lot right now x_x

Oh I see.. In some of his videos Leo talks about the different about just knowing and understanding what he tells us, and what you can read in books about enlightment and stuff - and then fully understanding it/experience which probably takes a long time.. Sometimes I can feel like i’m going insane and that experience/these thoughts you had while walking - I know that feeling so well. Thoughts like that really makes me scared/depressed or even once in a while krads me to suicidal thoughts. I think it has something to do with the brain trying to make reason of all these new understandings. But the thing is that ”god” isnt something you can figure out and understand. It is an experience. Also the thing you talk about with you career. I can totally understand that. Some of my life goals also became meaningless when I started this and I started asking questions and Why do this even matter to me when everything is just.... But. That is also the amazing part. In someways life is a playground. Also. I don’t think a psychologist would think you are crazy. Sometimes you are lucky to find a good one and it can be an amazing tool in your way to develop yourself and find peace.

Maybe you should take a break from relationships for a while - I had similar problems and thats what I did. After three months of more or less isolation (mentally speaking, since I go to the university almost everyday - but like, no parties, no sex, no starting of new friendships og love-relationships) but just tending to myself and contemplating about the loneliness. I know feel alot more capable of "going out there" and being in relations with other people. Like, a former friend of mine told me that she got used to the thought about her working with some "boring" job she didn't like - she told me she cried a lot, but then felt relief and acceptance. Then a few weeks later she came back to her original dream career but could pursue it with a lot more peace in mind, because she wasn't so afraid of failing - I really thought a lot about that and then I used her method with my relationship problem. I tried to really accept the fact that I would die alone with 7 cats ... I'm not done yet, with accepting it. But I think I won't be ready to commit myself to a serious life-partner, before I have accepted and have become okay and fine and maybe happy with the thought of myself to never marry/find the love of my life ect. Maybe you should move away/go on a longer trip for a while, so you won't see the person you like every day. And then jut like fucking meditate even if the meditation is jut you sitting there crying/thinking of her for 20 minutes - then it's just because you need that. And maybe listen to Matt Kahn or buy his book "Love everything that arises" - The title is cheesy, but I think he's a really good teacher for those of us who are struggling more with the emotions and the control of them.

well, of course. Everyone is already enlightened right? So it's not about reaching some place or even evolving. Isn't it more about realizing that everything just already is at it should be - like God is real and also not-real. And like.. Every soul get another chance in the next inkarnations and on the same time everything is one and there are no separate souls... So there is nothing to achieve because everything is and everything isn't and everyone is already enlightened and everything is holy. Its like my favorite poem so cool.

This post remind me so much of my ex.. we a great friends today and I have always enjoyed talking with him about these things, but when It came to the point where we couldn’t have a ‘normal convercation’ it was too much.. Also because i felt like he thought that i was stupid, or like he wanted to be my teatcher instead of my equal.. And that was really annoying. Even though I loved him and still love him very much.

So for a longer period now, I have been really annoyed with my meditation (Yes I know, I should just let things be the way they are, and not give such a big fuck, but it's hard..) I meditate every day, not the same time each day though. At leat 20 minutes, sometimes just in silence and sometimes with holosync or Leos guide. I try to focus on my breathing, but also not to be too manipulative, just accept reality and what I feel and experience. The thing is I have a lot of thoughts, and the whole non-duality and "push yourself out of your scalp" .. I just can't. I can't feel the connection, and I feel very much that I am one isolated thing and the things surrounding me is another thing. And it annoys me, because I know that it is not the truth, and I want, with all my heart, to really experience it and not just know it. The most frustrating part is.. I have felt in. When I took LSD, also in some way through MDMA and then yesterday when I smoked weed with my friend. It wasn't even supposed to be an actualizing event, we just did it for fun. I was really tired, and was laying on my back, and then it was like... I understood what I was seeking through meditation, and what it means when some authors and meditation-guides talk about how it should be enough to be aware of your breath just because there is so much to investigate. - I felt that when I took my breath in, all the parts, also the tiny tiny parts of my being in some way expanded, and when I breathed out everything "pulled together" it was amazing, and I felt truly connected. It's just that.. Why can't I reach this without drugs? It feels like its not quite right that I need something to manipulate with my brain to get there. I think it can help to use LSD or something maybe once or twice because you get a short experience of this connection and that everything is one, but if you want the state to last for a lifetime and not just a couple of hours - aren't you supposed to get there without drugs? I just wish my meditation could be like the feeling I had yesterday... And it could be so much cooler to reach it without drugs and just by myself. But it just feels impossible. The thing about feeling isolated and not a part of it all, is a problem not only in my meditation but in my everyday life, and it can sometimes bring a lot of sadness and feeling of loneliness. So I really want to work on it. (Sorry if my writing in English is not completely right, I hope you can understand it anyway)

My friend posted that.. sry

Leo, can I give birth to your future children? You pay my flight ticket. I do the birth-thing.

Get away. Physical. As far away from her as you can. Not forever, just some time - for example you could go on a solo retreat - rent a cabin somewhere, or go on a tent trip. Or go on a vacation to another city/country by yourself. Spend time meditating, maybe reading or just doing stuff you like... Then when you go back, maybe decide on not having sex for 6 months or so. This really helped me in a similar situation, and made me change my focus to stuff that is so more important than these feelings of "being in love" - Because.. It think.. You feel like you need her because you feel lonely. Maybe think about what it is that you want from her, where is your "drug" in the relationship, and the reason why it's hard to quit? .. So.. If you face the loneliness.. And it won't be easy but I believe everything is going to be easier afterwards.

Activating Kundalini? - I have read a lot about that, and I do yoga on a daily basis, but I have never experienced anything in that direction, event hough it would be awesome

Thank you, this made me think a lot today, and I came to the awareness that my eating habits actually have been "going the wrong way" these past few weeks. I have always been very conscious about what I eat affects my mood, my focus ect. I'm also a vegetarian but I would like to eat more vegestables and fruit and not just avoid meat. It is really my experience that it has great affects to eat what your body needs and not what you feel you want.... Also because I think I have been eating bad food to avoid the feeling of loneliness/sadness. And that is not the way to go.. Thank you for reminding me of what I had forgot I knew!

Trying to get into acting-school. Then I also write plays. But to afford living I study arabic, though it's not really what I want, but I'm so lucky that my country pays people to study at the university...

I struggle a lot with the same issue! When I'm with any one of my parents, it's like all my old patterns come back, and it's hard to control - Even more through the holidays and when I'm here for a longer period. A thing that I found really helpfull, is to wake up early, so I can be alone for an hour or two before the house awakes. Then I spend some time just being, or meditating/go for a run. When I start the day by sticking to my own routines, and connect with "myself" it is a lot easier to stick with being more mindfull and not fall into too many feelings and discussions (that really doesn't matter in the long run) throughout the day. Even though my family can be a whole lot to handle sometimes! But when I do this my time with them ends up being a lot more pleasent for everyone I think.