Sine

Did you ever try an only fruit and vegetable diet (low fat)? I have the same thyroid condition as you and it really helped me with it - much more energy.

I think there is a lot of development to be found in relationships. I always seem to get out much wiser... But this development could also happen with very short relationships/one-night-encounters I guess? Maybe the perfect thing would be an open relationship with a partner you love but where you won't deny each other the potential healing/development of meeting other people/teachers.

Hahaha maybe that is a good idea! Great sex I can imagine...

Of course, it depends on where you choose to go on your aya-retreat. Not every retreat is filled with "a bunch of tourists". Some are filled with likeminded people. I believe there is a lot to learn from the experience of taking psychedelics with a group - and the group you end up with, will of course not be random but perfectly assembled by the universe... The people in your group will all be potential teachers of yours and this alone can be a very profound experience. When I first came to the center for my aya-trip I was very judgemental about everyone and thought they were just a bunch of lazy hippies/stupid/did not know what it was all about... Haha... And then I met Aya.. and the next day (the retreat was 4 days with 2 ceremonies) I realized that this group had come together not at all by accident, I learned so much from everyone and the experience taught me a lot about nonduality but also how we as separate beings need to meet each other and gaze at ourselves through each other's eyes. The experience of going on a trip as a group was very different from tripping alone. One way is not better than another, but I guess it can be helpful to experiment with both. It was for me at least.

I very much agree with this! Actualized.org would be better if Leo could transform himself into a being that was both man and a woman at the same time because there is something about spiritual development from the female point of view that is left out in this whole institution

I have chosen to keep only a few mm of hair on my head because it helps me focus on other things than how I look, which as a woman has been very helpful for my spiritual development. Also I can take shorter showers in the morning and use the time to meditate instead.

I think you miss something here... Women provide very much for men too - but in a more subtle and invisible way. And we are "expected" to do this as well. You may give her your money, but she will most likely return it with her soul, something much more valuable anyway. Male energy holds the physical world more easily, and female energy holds the invisible world more easily - so we help each other out.

Start to masturbate more - even though you are not in a sexual mood, then just give yourself a massage and maybe touch/stroke yourself/massage it "down there" as well - if you do that a couple of times a week, I believe the desire will come sooner or later. I think a lack of sexual desire is a lack of connection to your body. Put on music while you do the massage, preferable music with drums because this can trick you into feeling grounded. Also do naked dancing, preferably with music like this. (really important, all women should do this) Sit in a squatting position while eating, writing, reading, or whatever, as much as possible in daily life. Spend more time on the floor in general. I know it sounds silly but please trust me on this one. Before you touch your pelvic are or actually whenever you lay down in general, focus on your lower back/the end of the spine and imagine the spot getting warm, feel the earth beneath your spine, or imagine growing roots from the end of your spine down to earth. Vipassana meditation will help you because this technique is amazing to make you feel your body - really feel it. Then you can also use the vipassana technique on your vaginal-area. Adding more fruits to the diet will help with most problems. Because it is not a heavy kind of eating, it will make you feel more soft, light, and ready for sex. All this is, of course, just based on my own experiences, but my own experiences have been very successful. I wish this for you as well. A lot of women live a non-sexual life without connection to the body, but we as women are naturally very sensual beings, and it is in you just below the surface, not very difficult lure out <3 Take your sexual journey very serious, like you would do when learning to meditate. Oh and yes maca, I take it too

But seriously looks doesn't matter. just this week I have felt deeply attracted to a guy twice my age who was actually a bit chubby, a bald guy shorter than me, a weird-looking hippie-guy with a beard that made him look like a goat and also this too-skinny guy who was short and had a gray beard that went all the way down to his belly button.

Oh your only 18! Yes really just use the time to explore life and don't waste your time on computer games and Netflix, if you work hard you could be so attractive by 20 just because you would seem like a person who has seen it all. And go do ayahuasca and vipassana retreats. for God's sake. literally. And your physical appearance is already really good so you just need the shine in your eyes (and a buzzcut but you will figure that out sooner or later)

haha what? If I should choose a guy to sleep with I swear I would choose this guy over the guy with the long hair. It is, of course, your own decision, but I think it is attractive when a guy looks good without trying and that is what the buzzcut signals (if you have a handsome face and you do) But in the end looks really doesn't matter that much - I have fantasized about sleeping with Leo a lot of times for example, and that is not so much because of his looks - even though he looks better now than he did in the beginning ... but because he has this leader-vibe when he talks. (I think..) I don't think you should concentrate on "getting more" masculine energy, but just live life, experience as much as you can and get wiser, because then you will get the same leader-like-vibe as Leo, which I think all girls find attractive. So go traveling or something - or go to the books - go to the vipassana course or ayahuasca retreat - get deeply interested in something weird like marine biology or learn an instrument or whatever.. explore life and all its features to become a man. The knowledge will shine through you and attract people.

In Leos video about perspectives, he suggests a practice where guys should imagine themselves having a female orgasm. It occurred to me that this is actually what I am doing most of the times I have sex - taking part in the orgasm of the man as if it was my own, and that is why I enjoy sex so much, even though, like most women, I don't get an orgasm every time. But that is not what this post is really about haha, I just wanted to mention, that i think a lot of women already do this. What this post is really about is my playing around with tantra and solo-tantra which has led me to a lot more actualization than I expected. And at this point, I am convinced that we as humans have so much more to learn from sex and if we practice, will be able to excel it to unbelievable levels. I started doing tantra sessions with a friend and masturbate with a tantric mindset for about half a year ago. I did this because I am dealing with vulvodynia (a condition where you get random pain inside your V - most often during sex), pain during menstruation, panic attacks during sex ect. I researched a lot on tantra and 'masturbation as meditation' and took some techniques from different sources while mixing it up with stuff I learned from Vipassana meditation, psychedelic trips, and theater practice. I am very lucky to have such good and openminded friend, who want to practice along with me but as far as I am into this work now, the most profound experiences have actually been single-handed - so to speak This was definitely not expected and I am amazed of what an effective tool I believe this to be. Spiritually speaking. Of course, I wouldn't know if this would be the same for men. Right now I have a strong sense that women and men experience sexuality and orgasms very differently. But well, how would I know for sure? I feel very inspired to share this with other women, because, haha, I feel like I found a lifehack or something. But I know I've only just opened the door and has way more exploring to do. So for now, I will just share my most recent experience with you. This has so far been the strongest. Well. I was reading a book, nothing special, while I felt this tickling sensation at the end of my spine that lead me to think it would be a good time to 'practice'. I started by making the setting - as you would do before a psychedelic trip. Music, blanket on the floor, dimmed light. I also turned up the heat in my room, so I would feel comfortable being naked, and prepared my stuff (vibrator, glass-wand and lubricate). If you do not have a vagina you can just skip this, but I'll put out the details if someone wants to try the same technique. I start by touching my breasts, belly, thighs and the area on the other side of the knees with the glass-wand which is ice cold as this point, I also lick and bite my lips, because it is a sensitive area for me, but this could be different from person to person. Then I take the wand down to my vulva where I circle it around the whole part, very slowly at the beginning and if I feel pain or strong sensations I stop for a moment to be mindful about it like I would when scanning my body in vipassana meditation. I then make the circle smaller and smaller until I sometimes stroke my clitoris with the wand, which often excites me, but instead of just focusing on the clitoris, which was my old style of masturbation, I begin circling with the wand just around the vaginal opening while breathing heavily, focusing on the base of my spine and how the floor feels against my back - the image of earth and roots and grounding in some ways helps me to reach the 'state' but I am not really sure why. I want to mention that in the beginning if felt nothing at all on the vaginal opening, I only felt sexual sensations when touching the clitoris, but this has changed during these practices. Then I most often begin opening, as my body does it by itself, which was very weird to me the first time it occurred, because I thought that I would have to press the thing into me like I have experiences guys press their penis into me - but now I know the body really can - like - swallow the thing (haha) all by itself. When I have the wand inside me i start breathing even more and if I have the pain I "standstill" and deal with it like before. Then I do the circling again but now on the inside, feeling where I have "blockages" or such. Sometimes I can feel sudden sadness or happiness when I do this. If everything is okay and I feel like it, I continue using the vibrator. I keep the wand inside me and with the other hand uses the vibrator on my breasts, belly, thighs, and as far as it is possible with the wand inside me, circle around the same circles as before. At some point, I let go of the wand and continue solely with the vibrator. Sometimes inside me, sometimes on the clitoris, sometimes a mix. At this point, it starts getting orgasmic. This may not sound much as a spiritual experience but I'll come to it. This is what happened at my most recent orgasm, but I have had similar experiences to this while doing the mindful-masturbation. Though not as intense and out-of-my-body-like .... or actually it was more like being really IN my body... I don't know. This is what happened: I was doing the thing, and the orgasm started approaching but it was more intense or more playful than I have experienced before. I felt like I was having sex with the air. I couldn't hold my body still and my spine was moving a lot and I was smiling so much and touching my face, stomach breasts, when the orgasm started I was just laughing while also breathing really hard and it was like I was making sounds that were almost - so ancient. or animal. or something. I had a little bit of my mind on what my neighbor would think but I just couldn't help it and I started laughing in a way that reminds me of how I would laugh on a trip while realizing that everything is pure love and play. It was just like that. I felt so present with the universe, and the weirdest thing was - and this may sound crazy - but I felt that all the things in my room in some way was alive and laughing and playing with me, I couldn't be still so I got up on my knees and the music was still on so I started swaying to it while breathing. I had closed eyes and I was just smiling, laughing, and breathing heavily. It was so profound because I have never felt so NOT alone in my life! I felt the room was filled with some kind of fairies or angels haha and then I started dancing for real, but close to the floor. It was just feeling like being some kind of ancestral woman. Rolling around and swaying. And I felt so much like a woman - like I felt that I finally understood what it means to be a woman and it was so liberating because i was completely naked. Then I felt this strong presence. I know that God is me and everything and that I am not separate from God, and I have experienced that through psychedelics and on vipassana, but this was different. I felt GOD BESIDE me and AROUND me, like "he" was in the air. And I write HE because in this experience GOD was present in me like this very male-like energy AROUND me. I can not describe it better than saying I was dancing with GOD haha. And he was really awesome and loved me so much, and he was me! haha. It was so cool and funny and magical. Then the song I was dancing to came to an end. So I laid down on the blanket relaxing. At this point, I started getting menstruation cramps! this was weird because it is not that time on my cycle yet. But I understood it as some tension inside the womb releasing. And it also went away again so it was all fine. So yes. That was my profound experience dancing with fairies and angels and GOD... Using a vibrator.. hahaha how a beautiful joke our life is <3 I hope this will inspire your sexuality <3 (btw the whole thing took a couple of hours)

I agree. You have a really attractive and masculine face, you should do a buzzcut.

Oh, thank you for this it is really great to read about someone who has similar experiences. Yes, I think so too, and maybe that is also why some months end with more painful menstruation than others. It is interesting to think about childbirth as a release of energy - and if the womb Is filled with unprocessed trauma.. hmm.. would this affect the energy of the child? This also makes me think of the subject of "pain-free birth" which I have always found interesting. I have a theory that if I become more aware of myself, my emotions, and healing processes I will be able to remove pain from the menstruation process. Maybe this will be possible with the process of giving birth as well? The thing you write about crying after penetration sex makes me so relieved because I experience that too, and though I was just fucked up. Also sometimes when giving a blowjob, the sucking motion releases something in me and I feel very vulnerable and (if the guy is loving) very "held" and it can be an almost healing experience with a somewhat baby/child-like feel to it. Of cause it's difficult to talk about these connections between childlike feelings and sexuality because it could easily be misunderstood. "womb of light" .. I will take that image with me into my practice. Thank you. <3 About the glass dildo being cold - For me, it is not a problem, maybe because my vibrator has a heating function so I can play with both the hot and cold, but also because my vulvodynia has a kind of burning sensation, so the cold can be relieving. Yes! You should try yoga for the psoas muscle - known to make women cry ? I use this video before my menstruation or penetration sex if possible. - Also. I just came back from an ayahuasca retreat where I experienced a lot of healing in my womb and pelvic area. I will be excited to share these experiences with you in a couple of days! <3

<3

Haha YES! I have an ayahuasca retreat this weekend, hopefully this will help me get to the point Thank you for sharing this info! I know about these excercices and that they work for alot of women, but when you have vulvodynia the problem is actually that your muscles are to tense, and therefore I practise more to relax and open up, than contracting. The actual orgasm was a maybe for about a minute but it kindda flowed together with the dance and I was dancing for maybe five-ten minutes afterwards where I still had a strong orgasmic feeling. But Im not sure because I lost track of time completely. I like the glass one because it's pretty but also somewhat heavy. which is usefull because I use it to apply pressure to sore/hurtfull spots (It was recomended in connection to vulvodynia so that is why I bought it to begin with). There is also something about the heavyness that gives me a sense of sequrity and grounding. Personally I don't really like a dildo to look a lot like a penis, because I want the experience to feel a bit like a ceramony instead of a porn movie. I guess you could have a spiritual experience with very porn-like tools - but for me it's just easier to get in the mood when I find the surrroundings beautiful... Not that penises aren't beautiful haha omg they are, I love them! But.. only the ones attatched to persons.. in my oppinion. Another reason for me not to use a penis-like dildo is that they are often very large, and the glass-wand is not so wide, which is easier of me. The vibrator I use is also very pretty, not very wide and it has a heating function which I find really nice YES WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN HERE! <3 I would love to read that!! It is a great idea to write about sexual experiences, you inspire me to begin doing that <3 I think we should have a sexual revolution!

I am a vegan and my diet is mostly based on fruits. I eat some vegetables and try to avoid grain as much as I can (I eat rice sometimes and gluten-free oatmeal but not often) I am very convinced that a grainfree vegan-diet that is mostly fruit based is the optimal diet for humans. I have seen it very strongly in my own body, for example I have so much more energy now than I used to and I don't have any cravings anymore because the sweet fruits are so satisfying and I can eat all I want. I do not work out but I do yoga and run almost everyday, also I live a furniture free/low furniture lifestyle which helps me to move around a lot and not sit still for long. On a ideal day I would eat Morning: 0,5 L of water with lemon juice Juice made from a whole green celery (Then I use around an hour for exercise) 0,5 L smoothie made from bananas, spinach, frozen wild blueberries (around 250g) and powder, like Atlantic dulce and spirulina - I also add a couple of dates, this is important for a good taste! and water of cause. (This could also be swapped for Nicecream made from frozen bananas only, sometimes I also swap it for half a watermelon if I have one) Late morning: 0,5L smoothie (I made 1L in my blender so here I just eat the other half) Noon My biggest meal, this could be Indian Dahl, coconut curry, or just salal with 1kg of potatoes and dressing made from tahini. In these meals, I try to be grain-free, low fat, and use various vegetables ables. Evening Just fruit or leftovers from noon. If I'm not hungry I just drink tea, if I'm very hungry and don't have more fruit or leftovers I eat gluten-free oatmeal with marble syrup and sometimes a bit of tahini. But the ideal here would be just fruits. In between the meals, if I feel hunger I snack on a banana, a pear, an apple, or some dates. I try never to go around hungry because I don't think it is good for the body. I believe fasting or mono-eating can be beneficial but only if your body is already very strong and you have had a long diet like this. And only for shorter durations. Not being scared of fruits has totally changed my life, it doesn't suck to eat healthier because fruits are so delicious and I'm not ashamed to eat a lot - and I have even lost weight and just keep gaining energy. I am a woman, 176cm tall and slim build, so of course, a larger person should maybe add larger portions, but I hope my meal schedule will inspire you <3

Thank you for sharing this <3

Thank you <3 I guess the rule of acing life is simply a starting point that you can work with, but in the end, the most emotional uncomfortable choice merges with the most emotional comfortable choice, because you love yourself so much that you always find comfort in doing what is truly the wisest thing to do. This was good to think about for me, and I will contemplate self-love even more. Thanks for the help. I love you

I have just seen Leos video "One Rule for Acing Life" and found it very inspirational. Since I am already a very conscientious person and have been like that for my whole life, the thought of always doing what is the most emotionally uncomfortable as a way to success is not new to me. However, it was nice to be reminded of the concept and since I watched the video I have practiced asking myself the question "What is most emotionally uncomfortable right now" which has raised my awareness in daily life. The thing is that I (maybe because I sometimes can be too conscientious) have difficulties relaxing. I try to meditate for at least 1 hour every day and I also have a running practice - both things that in some ways relax my mind and body. But the feeling when I do these things is not at all the same kind of relaxation I get when I, for example, watch a stupid sitcom on Netflix or read a fantasy novel for that sake. I live alone and is often very tired in the evening. This time a day is often where I get the gift of very intensified gross emotions and the possibility of working through them to maybe heal some kind of childhood/previous life/energy or what-do-I-know trauma. Unfortunately, my routine up until now has been to label the emotions as negative (loneliness, sorrow, sickness) and escaping them through Netflix while I eat dinner. Since I watched Leos video I have changed this routine and now sit in silence in my window eating my food. I have also during the day tried to find ways to relax without choosing the most emotionally comfortable path. So for example I have just been lying on the floor with my dog when I needed relaxation and going really really early to bed. But I don’t have the energy do deal with the emotions all the time, and especially not in the evening. (I am very much a morning person) And the only way I can “escape” and “really relax” seems to be from doing "things that are emotionally comfortable" Is it possible to live life without ever doing what is emotionally comfortable? I am interested in your thoughts about this and maybe hearing how you guys relax? – And if some of you live fully by “always do what is most emotionally uncomfortable” I know a friend of mine, who I consider to be very awakened, plays computer games occasionally and watches Netflix - which, I suppose, for him would be emotionally comfortably choices, so I guess it is possible to be actualized/enlightened and still take the emotionally easy way sometimes? All the love, Sine

Just one short answer YES VERY MUCH - I speak from experience. Almost everyone I've dated I've dated them because of their personality/status/ energy and the physical/sexual attraction to just their body came later. In almost all of my relationships, I have had the experience of them getting more handsome (and I have even thought that their dicks were growing) when I started to really love them and feel safe/secure in the relationship <3 So no worries. This will happen.

Do you still feel done /fully awakened now the next day? since you are fully awakened I suppose you would be able to sit down and be alone with “yourself “ / meditate for 10 hours straight? Or at least 3-5 hours ? Am I mistaken to believe that is something an enlightened person could easily do? i also suppose you would be able to maintain a healthy relationship to a romantic partner if that it is what you wanted to - completely free of suffering because you wouldn’t have to deal with the ego stuff and also be able to take the other person in completely as yourself.. would you be able to do that now or am I mistaken for taking that as enlightenment? also.. would you be able to stay at your parents house for a weekend or maybe a week - and stay in this mindset or would you be tricked back into old patterns? And if you would, could you still “claim that you are done “ is the “done-enlightened-state” final/enduring/stable? your post pisses be off incredibly much. It is very fun to experience. I don’t know why, guess it’s just my ego.. look forward to the experience of done-ness if I ever will be as hard working in my enlightenment work as you must have been and ever reach it. Can imagine it feels really good.. but well.. shouldn’t care about too feel good or not.. sorry ego again..

I'm woman and got introduced to Leo from my male friend. For a long time I really hated Leos videos, his voice, I thought he seemed really egocentric, cold-hearted and rude and so on. In his meditation video when he says "stop carring about anything" I got so pissed I couldn't continue.. But I don't know why but it started to change, I love his guided meditation now and have it on my phone.. I just signed up for Vipassana retreat and I don't think I would have done that without all the stuff Leo has thought me. Today I see he really was a gift at that point in my life, and excactly what I needed to move past my green-hippie state