PaulK

thank you! @SalvijusI like this hashtag #writingthiswhilebeingpresent and yes, that’s what I want. to be in this natural state. if you have some tricks on that, it would be greatly appreciated! Thank you! @WelcometoReality you are right, i feel like its deepening over time. I remember Leo compared it to the onion in his video. There are lots of layers. Very Slowly one by one it opens up.

I’ve been on and off the meditation for a few years now. Recently i stopped formal sitting meditations, but instead, i try to be present throughout the day while doing other activities like driving, cooking, talking etc. I realized that I “sleep” most of the time. Too many things i do without realizing that I’m doing it. It’s like I’m living in the movie and I’m just an actor. This drives me crazy and makes me want be present all the time so I know that I’m actually here and I control what’s going on. I don’t know what that all means, but i cant just “sleep” and I can’t just continuing playing the movie scenes. I need and I want to be present. When I force myself to be present and not to fall asleep and actually talk to people, it feels weird. It feels new and like I’m a different person. Sometimes i just want to talk to someone who is also present and can share the same experience, that’s why i wrote this here. That’s all for now, thanks. I was mostly present while I was writing this.

Very interesting, I figured there is no shortcuts, but just keep training and with time it will get easier. Thanks!

Some things I overthink too much and some not enough so I cant tell exactly. I’m not doing sitting meditation anymore. I learned that in order to meditate you dont have to sit and watch your breath. So, currently my meditation is when I stay aware of where I’m, what am I doing, feeling etc. That’s pretty much all day. I try to force myself to be more aware. Maybe I should try and go back to breath meditations.

I constantly catch myself that everything I do is on autopilot. Even if I force myself to "wake up", be in the present moment, watch every move of my body, I still fall as sleep again and again. It gets worse when people are around, or If I have to talk to someone, I completely forget and just fall asleep. If I'm alone, it's easier, I can kind of get myself focused and stay focused on my moves and control thoughts for a while. How do I stop falling asleep? This makes me crazy because I forget a lot of stuff because of that. This autopilot makes me daydream and I sometimes I don't remember or don't try to remember normal conversations or stuff that doesn't have any interest to me. Someone might say something to me, I might hear it, and then a few minutes later I ask about it and look like an idiot since I was already been told that. I read that 90% of people are sleeping when they are awake. But I feel like I'm more as sleep than everyone else around me. I feel like I have nothing but wind inside my head. I meditate every day when I'm driving or anywhere when I'm alone by forcing myself to stay focused and not let my mind fly away. I even put a vibration alarm on my watch to vibrate every 5 minutes so It can remind me to wake the hell up and pay attention to what you are doing!!!! Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks!

I've been here quite a while but it's the first time me posting something. I'm into Englightment and self development. Recently, I learned (but haven't completely grasped) that I'm not the body or the mind. Then, one day I had some wine with my wife and started thinking about me being not the body/mind. And then I wondered: "If i'm not the body or mind, then technicaly, I can't get drunk". No matter how much I drink, physically my body/mind will get drunk, but the real me (whatever it is) will still be the way it is. Is this correct? So when my body/mind is drunk, the real me is not affected by this? I'm just the beginner here and this got me curios.