Alien

Im really starting to contemplate my reality now at this point and i realy love doing it, but everytime i do and start to get a tangible hint that reality is just groundless to the point where you cant make amy statement of it at all, i get this sort of existential panic. Although i actually dont have a problem with my ideas being wrong. Why is this?

I thought i would share this picture with all of you. I found it after the last episode of leo about deconstruction

@InfinitePotential wow thanks for the tip, you guys in this forum are awesome, just sayin?

@Him i usually drink in the morning 1 cup on workdays, but much more on weekends, like 4 cups a day which really messes with my meditation

Before christmas my life was going, and meditation was effortless and i felt good. Now after Christmas here in Germany i feel sick and just down. I cant meditate and feel sick and meaningless. I just feel like vomiting (literally) all my neurotic shit out and just eating green vegetables, drinking water and meditating, nothing else. I don't know why this is happening

@Joseph Maynor sounds interesting, and quite effective ?. Will do, thanx

@Leo Gura i have now a habbit of meditation. im now planning to install a habit of self inquiry but every time i do it , i always seem to ask these mechanical questions like "what am i really?" and all these other things . but it just doesnt do something for me. i felt my awareness rising in the last months when meditating and concentrating on my breathing and managed to make 20 minute sessions of meditation. i started with 5 min and its becoming more effortless to sit and to not interact with my thoughts even if im thinking just plain BS. but my problemn is with the self inquiry as i said. i just cant seem to get something going, to challenge the idea of a "me". please give me a tip for this one (and btw no psychedelics NOW for me. im 17, in germany and doing a work training at the state attorney , so no buying drugs for me YET)

@Leo Gura what do you think of this video ? I just saw your newest video on the blog and after i thought about what you said , this woman sounds absurd to me

@Max_V i will do that , look on my profile. theres a post labled "self inquiry panic" that was a first expirience where i "catched" the ego lets say

is the Absolute the biggest thing human beings can grasp ?or is it just the ultimate limit humans cant pass ?

@Leo Gura i watched your video about "The magic pill to enlightenment and God" and also the interview with martin ball. i will definitely use it one day. but i will prepare myself in the next years for it. (im 17) . what my question is, is proper Ego death on 5MeO-DMT comparable to the ACTUAL physiological and menatl death every human will face at the end of their life?

@Leo Gura I just meditated 20 minutes,( I started with 5 min). Its weird, the first minutes or so I get these thoughts like"nothing is happening, waste of time ,just stop you dumbass". But I quickly just observed and concentrated on my breath and they were gone. Then In an instand , without reason, I get like super aggressive and my body feels hot and I want to punch the wall next to me . But again it stops from one second to the other . And just after that I become super euphoric ,so much that I want to squeak like a baby . Are these extreme mood swings normal in a 20 minute sit ?

@Omni thank you so much. One question, do you have a "comonplace book" ? And in what form ? I want to make one for me

@Joseph Maynor @Omni Im going to watch the video and act on it. Sry for that reaction of mine ?

@Nahm man, dont kill me with this fucking bullshit, seriously. If there is no randomness in life than I will find out. But dont give me some stupid idea to carry around . I started 1month ago with getting serious in this work. So dont try to bullshit me . Get clear or fuck off

@Nahm alright, my name is just randmly picked, and leo said in his videos that you will get mood swings and feel confused. What the Fu** are you talking about ?

@Leo Gura sounds pretty fuc*ing good ?

@krazzer thangs I have just started a month ago but I notice its working , thats really motivating me ?

@Anna Konstantaki I think there are just some things that doesnt work out in reality. Afterall its just a thought that we are coming up with. GOOD NIGHT ?

@Leo Gura after the video leo uploaded on his blog , I was honestly on the brink of crying, like really. Its pathetic . I do not think that I am grasping what it will mean for me if commit myself to this work for the next 20 years or so (im 17). I still have doubts about getting to be financially independent which I know are not authentic. They are more like fear of the unknown. But like, this is the ONLY thing my life will have to be about. Everything else is secondary if not completely irrelevant. Its crazy . Im planing to have my first experience with LSD next summmer . Its mind blowing whats possible and what I dont even know is possible at this point.

@Anna Konstantaki youre definitely right. But also as leo said in one episode "wehn ego gets hold if religion, it goes downhill real fast" ?

@Anna Konstantaki i think what you have imagined there was the original idea of Religion

@Leo GuraIve noticed that today while I was driving home from school that I had a toothache ,and after I kind of concentrated on it, It stopped being pain (weird to explain) or I didnt identify with the pain anymore. I just observed it and I could really feel BEING in that moment. So does pain make me more concious ?

@Leo Gura I know I will not get there or rather become it , when I always sort of think about it and try to conceptualize my way into it. I feel like I cant even name it ,like god or something. Where do I start with this???? . Is LSD an option ?. Do I still have a wrong "image" of it ? Can I even have one?

@Leo Gura oh, I guess I could have noticed that myself ? thanks