joegarland

I'm not looking for feedback on this decision. I'd be interested in hearing other people's strategies, however.

Sign me up. I'm in central time.

I'm out of college by June. Going to be on my own for the first time. I'm basically starting at zero. I see two paths I'd like to take--begin my career as a cartoonist, or hole myself up and, aside from paying bills, focus exclusively on getting enlightened. Enlightenment seems like the obvious choice to me, but there's a few things that concern me. -I've got no money for workshops and retreats. I'd especially like to attend Peter Ralston/Cheng Hsin workshops, but they're so expensive. -I have no idea how long this will take or even if I'll get enlightened. Jed McKenna says it shouldn't take more than 2 years, but I'm not sure if that's true... I think it's probably more likely that I'll make a living full-time as a cartoonist than getting enlightened. This really does seem like a good time to start pursuing enlightenment, since I have so little to lose. But where do I start? Is it possible to join a monastery? Are monasteries even reliably good at waking folks up? And how likely is it that I can do both--that I'll become enlightened while beginning my career?

Man there's this girl in my class. I talk to her a lot and keep meaning to ask her out, but always find reasons not to. The biggest reason is that I don't have the perfect first date idea. And I don't know the best way to do it so that she'll say yes. I thought I knew some shit about dating but I'm facing the fact that I'm actually pretty clueless about the whole thing. Do I just ask her after class if she wants to get dinner sometime and then get her number? How do you ask it? Is dinner a good first date? If not, what's better? Any dudes out there who had real good relationships in college? Input is appreciated.

@jackson: you've taken all the words I had out of my mouth. Just replace "chemistry" with "art," and it seems that we're in exactly the same boat. I'm 21, in my third year of college in Mississippi, USA, and I think I'm about to drop out. I know my end goal: I'm going to be a full-time artist and I'm going to be rich doing it. But the whole path to get there is still a mystery to me, but I'm getting more and more certain that college is not that path. Let's keep in touch about this. I've got a few ideas for making it and I'm sure you do, too. Maybe we can help each other along the way.

I have a social skills coach in my head. He's not very nice. He yells every time I talk to somebody. Here's what he sounds like: "Why aren't you talking more? C'mon, hustle! Why aren't you being funnier? Remember to smile! Your topics are weak! Let's see that grin! Why aren't you laughing? Look, they're clearly not happy with you. Turn that charm up! 110 percent! Come on, you can do better than that!" I've realized this recently: this happens every time I speak to someone. Every single time. Strangers, friends, or family. He never stops yelling. I leave every interaction feeling like I've underperformed. On a very deep level, I feel that no one likes me. This is the single biggest obstacle for me in making friends, and I'm ready to let it go. My plan right now is to continue to disidentify with the self-talk. It may come up, but I don't have to believe it anymore. Does anyone have further recommendations on how to smoothly switch to positive self-talk; how to speed along the process towards feeling good about myself around others? (Besides enlightenment, since that's an unreliable strategy ;) )

I've realized this recently that I enter every interaction with someone feeling as if I need to prove myself. As if I'm not enough. I leave every single interaction feeling bad about myself on some level. I do not enjoy talking to people--not because of them, but because I always feel bad about myself after doing it. I almost always feel unaccepted and misunderstood. I experience really horrible self-talk that has keep me pretty isolated. I've grown conscious of it recently, and am beginning to dissociate from it. I figured that I'm going to stop punishing myself like this and go after the things I want in my life: good friendships, and a good relationship. I've been hanging out with people more often and flirting with a girl I see every day. The negative self-talk still has a powerful grip on me right now, though. I still feel bad about myself after I talk to people. I wonder, is this any kind of state to be in when starting a relationship? Will I come across as needy? Should I hold off on starting one until my self-talk is better (and I'm consciously working on that) and my confidence kicks in? Or would being in a relationship help me develop more confidence in myself as I go along? Is intentionally withholding something I want for myself (a relationship) until I am somehow "cured" just another form of self-hate? Am I ready for a relationship or not?

LOL, true that. Good point. I'll probably go through with it anyway and see what happens.

Could you elaborate on this? I watched the second video up until the part where he assumed the viewer was awake. I clearly did not awaken. Did you awaken during the story, or even later in the video? Or did the awakening happen some time after watching the video? During his little story exercise, I just got cross-eyed for about 30 seconds, with shorts fits of laughter. Mostly I thought "is it happening? Shit, is it happening or not?!" And it went away, if it even happened in the first place.