RickyFitts

Funnily enough, I'm also of German extraction on my dad's side (great-grandparents were German, my surname's actually German).

Sigh, beautiful, again... what a gift to the forum you've been

I just love the way your mind works, Gianna, I'm in awe of it

Oh, just another note on meditation: Try positioning the tip of your tongue against the back of your top front teeth, that'll pull your tongue forward and out of the back of your throat, which should allow you to breathe more easily and freely. This might sound odd, but our jaws are misaligned because we eat with cutlery, apparently - our teeth should be aligned so that the top row sits directly on top of the bottom row, but instead we tend to have an overbite, which pushes the tongue back and can inhibit our breathing.

God I love you, Gianna A sure-fire sign that you've found the right practice for you, that's wonderful It became painfully apparent when I was having a hard time a few years back, when I meditated during that period I'd become conscious of this painfully contracted, desperate sort of feeling in that area of my body (but I'm doing much better now ). Oh I'm so glad to hear that Oh, I'm so glad I mentioned it then in that case! Hope it helps I had posture problems too, initially, sitting in meditation was exacerbating a long-standing lower-back complaint I had - though when I corrected my posture, the complaint magically resolved, which was a very pleasant surprise!

I love your passion, Preety

I know, I'm conscious of sounding like a broken record! Doing yoga's fantastic though, yeah, that should help a lot! It's just a question of finding what works best for you personally in helping your body relax and release whatever it's been holding on to, I personally prefer meditation but I know yoga helped me so much a few years back when I was suffering with chronic anxiety. Great! We do tend to develop patterns of resistance in certain areas of our bodies (I know that for me personally my solar plexus area has been a particular problem area, for example), but just bringing awareness to those areas and allowing them to release and breathe can help them start to break down - again, I imagine yoga will help a lot in this respect. Also, don't be alarmed or discouraged if you find that you actually start to feel worse at times, that can happen as the body starts to release what it had been unconsciously resisting - it can really suck, but it actually shows that it's working, as perverse as that might sound, and it will pass. I haven't tried shamanic breathwork, but I would have thought so, yeah - anything that brings attention into the body and helps it to relax is great. Do ease off if it starts to feel too overwhelming, though, there's no rush I personally prefer a method of meditation that involves as little technique as possible, because trying to follow a technique can make me neurotic and edgy - what I'm finding works best for me is to sit with the sole intention of keeping my body relaxed and still (ie in a state of non-resistance), and the actual content of my meditation in terms of thoughts and feelings isn't important. But again, it's about finding what works best for you personally, maybe observing the breath works better for you for example - I like Jon Bernie's rule of thumb for whether a practice is working or not: Is the space opening, or is it getting tighter? Just a quick note on posture when meditating: I find that sitting up on a cushion, so that my hips are above the level of my knees, helps me to sit upright without straining. I personally prefer to sit in the half-lotus because I feel like that gives me a solid foundation, though again it's about finding what works best for you.

Oh, Gianna, another thought that occurred to me recently: Have you considered how these energetic issues might tie in to your recent readings on trauma? Just another angle to consider.

Fuck me sideways, the pressure in my heart is so great at times - it makes me feel like this: Seriously It's kind of frustrating, there's one part of me that wants to scream like that ^^, there's another part that wants to burst into tears - and I can't seem to do either. I'm trying to think of an appropriate analogy but I'm too busy feeling inexplicably furious, it's all really most disconcerting. Don't mind me, I'm just venting.

I'll say this to people: Never forget that these posts you're reading, they've been written by living, breathing human beings who can get hurt and upset just as easily as you can. I think it can be very easy to forget that - I know, because I've done it myself.

Don't mention it

I can relate so much to this, honestly - it feels so insanely powerful, and our bodies really aren't able to cope with that level of energetic charge if we haven't trained them to do so, lack of focus makes mind and body brittle and unyielding. This is why body-centred practices are so incredibly important, I believe. You're right, you really can't help it - resisting it is a reflex and you really don't have very much control over it, that's your limbic system going into survival mode I believe. So you have to entrain your body to relax resistance - this is where your allowing practice comes in, be consistent in your practice and it'll gradually get easier, I promise, your body will slowly become entrained so that the energy can gradually work through any energetic blockages in your system. It can seem so fucking futile and frustrating at times, but you'll start to see results if you stick with it - I promise. And then once you do start to see results, that'll give you the motivation to keep going. Consistency of practice is everything, as is trust in the process. I know, Gianna, I completely get where you're coming from - it's hugely challenging, and it can be so very maddening and deflating at times. It can require more discipline and patience of you than you might have believed you possessed, but just keep up your practice and things will gradually get better, even though it might seem hopeless at times.

Just so, so beautiful, this is wisdom The wisdom of the heart, as I've come to think of it.

So, so beautiful, Esilda...

This is amazing, Preety, I love this

@Preety_India

You're wonderful, Preety, I love you so much

Your desire and passion is so beautiful and strong, Esilda. So is your anger, sorrow, vulnerability, fear - all of it, and you express it so beautifully and fearlessly. I love you so fucking much, my darling. Keep going.

Brings to mind a Marianne Williamson quote: 'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.' I feel like there's so much truth in that, for me at least. What is it that scares me? Responsibility? Being seen?

I had one girlfriend who always seemed to be attracted to Geminis for some reason (I'm also a Gemini). Astrology has a certain romantic sort of charm to me, though I'm not sure I entirely buy it - I mean that particular girlfriend was like a mirror image of me, and she was a different star sign altogether.

@Gianna I look forward to that!

@eputkonen Love it