RickyFitts

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Gianna, I can't imagine how awful it must be for you Maybe this is your problem - that you don't understand what's at the root of his behaviour. I'm not proud to admit this, but I can relate to this guy - I was stuck on a girl for years, too, just couldn't move on, wasn't remotely interested in other women. I had a little more self-control than your ex has, thankfully (though I did pursue her pretty hard for a good few months), and I knew it just showed that I had some serious issues to resolve - but it was so, so hard, I was in so much pain and turmoil. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. I don't say this to try and diminish the severity of your situation, I'm just trying to help you see the situation from his perspective. I think maybe feminine compassion is the answer in this instance. I understand you feeling frustrated, but please don't allow the situation to harden your heart, Gianna. Feel the inner resistance to the situation within yourself. Allow that to relax. 'What you resist, persists.'

@Preety_India Not at all, Preety, I'm so touched you posted those two beautiful songs ?

Couldn't agree more. It's a complete abdication of responsibility to point the finger like that, not to mention downright tedious.

They've gotten the lyrics slightly wrong in that video - the line is 'You can't play ON broken strings', not 'OUR broken strings'. Bothering me much more than it probably should, it's making me want to send a strongly-worded letter of complaint to someone ?

@ivankiss That's interesting, I'd always thought that consciousness and God were one and the same, I hadn't considered consciousness as being an expression of God. That's a deep thought, I'll have to sit with that one

Christ, the various aches and pains I've felt in my body the last few years, man alive I got a sharp pain on the right side of my chest before, around the bottom of my ribs - hard to describe it exactly, but it felt a lot like a stitch (just a bit higher up, obviously) and it smarted like an absolute motherfucker. So er, yeah, I highly recommend this whole kundalini awakening business, it's terrific fun! Helps if you have a masochistic streak I should think, which is unfortunate for me as I have an allergy to pain, really not a fan.

I can honestly say that that thought never even crossed my mind! You're not wrong though, that's some seriously disturbing shit right there, fuck me

@Gianna Absolutely perfect, yeah I thought I'd like your choices, but that's exceeded my expectations

That's a new one on me, but it's absolutely lovely

'Awakening is about letting go of all control. That's why meditation practice can be useful for our physical bodies, which are conditioned to control, and defend, and hold on. Meditation can help you notice where the holding on is - you just sit, and stop, and notice what's going on physically, emotionally, energetically. The physical body is a wonderful mirror.' - Jon Bernie

This is so wonderful, Esilda, and it fits with the impression I have of you as a very kind-hearted, giving person, I look forward to reading further entries

And this, dear people, is wisdom

@SLuxy A truly remarkable guy, yeah.

I don't know nearly enough about the subject to be able to offer an informed comment, sorry!

Yes, this is the key thing to understand - this is what's at the root of addiction. And there's no judgment in this, because understand this: We are all addicted to something, it's how we humans cope with life. The question is, at what point are you no longer content to simply cope with life? At what point are you willing to stop and face that from which you've spent your whole life running? (Like the avatar by the way, SLuxy - I was thinking about rewatching 'Schindler's List' the other day, amazing film.)

@Esilda

@nistake

Great idea, love this!

@Hulia I think with enmeshment the other person is still regarded as separate and distinct from you, whereas with love it's recognised that you're one and the same, that your heart is their heart. I think! Gianna can probably explain it better than I can

Have you looked into emotional support groups?

@Charlotte You're so welcome, and thanks, really, for sharing your story, I was so touched by it <3